"Five"/Quotes

Kennedy
"We'll be judged more by what we do here than anywhere else."

- At the beginning.

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, so hit the power!"

- At the beginning.

"Call the department of energy, we need power!"

- At the beginning.

Killing a Zombie
"Negotiations: one peace at a time."

- Upon getting a kill

"Pain is temporary, pride is forever!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"They should put my face on the silver dollar."

- Upon getting a kill.

"Fail miserably, achieve greatly!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"Who's the President now, stale-skin?"

- Upon getting a kill.

"Stick it in here zombie, Uncle Zeddy!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"Let us not negotiate the undead with fear, but with bullets!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"I am all that is man!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"Executive Order 112477: DIE!"

- Upon killing a crawler

"Just like the Solomon Isles!"

- Upon getting a kill; Kennedy served in the navy during World War II.

"Ich bin ein Berliner."

- Upon getting a kill; from Kennedy's speech in West Berlin, meaning "I am a citizen of Berlin".

"Forgive one's enemies, but Never! Ever! Forget their names!"

- After killing a zombie that recently hit him.

"That's a wicked digger."

- After a knife kill.

"Can you dig it?"

- After a knife kill. This line may be a reference to the cult classic film The Warriors, as the phrase is first used in the film.

"Taste the flavor, chopper!!"

- After a knife kill.

"Take that, skinny!"

- After a knife kill.

"You all pardoned!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Inaugurate this marble eyes!"

- Upon a headshot.

"I am all that stands between the dead and the White House!"

- After a headshot.

"Never fight out of fear, but never fear to fight!"

- After a headshot.

"Take that, you warrant commission dick!"

- After a headshot.

"I said: Eat it, rot!"

- After a headshot.

"The cost of freedom is high, but I can still pay it!"

- After a headshot.

"*sings* Oh say can you see... BOOM!"

- After a explosive kill.

"Bombs for the zombs!"

- After a explosive kill.

"*sings* ...By the dawn's early light... BABOOM!"

- After an explosive kill.

"I see in America unafraid, the beauty and grace... but you beasts aren't helping!"

- After an explosive kill.

"Ah! The smell! I think I just threw up in my mouth a little."

- Upon killing a Gas Zombie.

"Good ol' fashioned Irish beatdown!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"In the time of turmoil, knowledge is power!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Who's the president? Who? Ha? Who?"

- Upon multiple kills.

"I'll put that limb next to my Pulitzer."

- Sometimes said upon shooting a zombie's arm off.

"You don't lose an arm on my account!"

- After shooting a zombie's arm off.

Being hit by a Zombie
"Do I look like a guy with a foot fetish?"

- When attacked by a crawling zombie.

"Get off my bunions!"

- When attacked by a crawling zombie.

"Calm your liver Mr. Wiggles."

- When attacked by crawling zombie.

Ammo
"Need a mag like yesterday!"

- When low ammo. Reference to his service times in World War II.

"Gun-gage is pointin' at E!"

- When low ammo.

"I need a re-op."

- When low ammo.

"No ammo, pass the buck!"

- When low ammo. Reference to Harry Truman's "The Buck Stops Here" sign on his Presidential Desk.

"Could use some ammo soon!"

- When out of ammo.

"Ugh... no ammo!"

- When out of ammo.

"Your president needs slugs!"

- When out of ammo.

"Ammo! That's an order!"

- When out of ammo.

"Need some beans for the chowder here!"

- When out of ammo.

Buying weapons off the wall
"I'm an idealist...with a sniper rifle."

- When buying an M14; a reference to his assassin.

"Time to make some Z chowder."

- Upon buying an Olympia off the wall

"This is my sword, my Excalibur."

- Upon buying an Olympia off the wall.

"Matures ride shotgun."

- Upon buying an Olympia off the wall.

"A most perfect weapon."

- Upon buying a MPL off the wall.

"Full auto zombie slaying death from the palm of my hands."

- Upon buying a MP5K off the wall.

"I like this, a lot."

- Upon buying a MP5K off the wall.

"I should keep one of these under my desk at the Oval office."

- Upon buying an SMG off the wall.

"Rapid-fire Hellfire."

- Upon buying an SMG off the wall.

"Hail to the chief baby!"

- When buying a rifle.

"When efforts and courage are not enough, (sighs) a shotgun helps."

- Upon buying a shotgun off the wall.

"C'mon, I'm good for it!"

- When trying to buy an item he does not have enough points to buy.

"But I want it!"

- When he tries to buy a weapon for which he doesn't have enough money.

Power-ups
"Ah, just what the doctor ordered."

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"Your country thanks you."

- Upon getting a Max Ammo.

"I comin' for you all!"

- Upon getting a Insta-Kill power up.

"M to the A to the D!"

- Upon getting a Nuke. Reference to Mutually Assured Destruction, a thermonuclear war scenario.

"And that is how you push the button!"

- Upon getting a Nuke.

"Double the pleasure, double the pain."

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"I'm seeing in two's!"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"Builds faster than a Communist building a wall!"

- Getting a Carpenter power-up; a reference to the Berlin Wall.

"The time to repair the barricade is when the sun is shining."

- Getting a Carpenter power-up.

Perk-a-colas
"I've been in the navy for years and I've never tasted anything that fishy."

- Upon buying Quick Revive.

"Ah, hail to the chief!"

- Upon buying Jugger-nog

"Feeeeeelin' speedy!"

- Upon buying Speed Cola

Downed or revived
"My country thanks you."

- Upon being revived.

"I never hoped for an easy life, just to be a stronger man."

- Upon being revived.

"Huh? I was just resting my eyes."

- Upon being revived.

"Back and better than ever!"

- Upon being revived.

"Back in the game kids."

- Upon being revived

Pack-a-punch
"Ask not what your gun can do for you, but what you can do for your gun!"

- Waiting for Pack-a-Punch.

"It's go-time!"

- After received a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

Mystery Box
"Time for a zombie missile crisis."

- After getting M72 LAW from Mystery Box.

"As Teddy Roosevelt once said: walk lightly and carry a BFG!"

- Getting a Commando from the Mystery Box. Reference to Theodore Roosevelt's "Big Stick" Diplomacy.

"Ugh, whoever invented this must be insane.."

- After obtaining the Monkey Bomb from Mystery Box.

"Now this is power."

- After obtaining Crossbow from Mystery Box.

"I'm the president of the United States. Open!"

- When trying use Mystery Box without the needed points.

Other
"You can only get this close if I get your votes!"

- After noticing a crowd of zombies.

"On this earth, God's work is in our hands. Hazzah!"

- After noticing a crowd of zombies.

"I know there is a devil, for I see a storm coming, and his hand is in it!"

- After noticing a crowd of zombies.

"Everyone, concentrate fire on McNamara!"

- If McNamara has the most points.

"Castro is surrounded, everyone point and laugh."

- When Castro is downed.

"The beast of Boston... Argh!"

- Random

"How you won a revolution is beyond me!"

- Castro is swarmed

Nixon
"Uh, can we go find the power switch?"

- At the beginning.

Killing a Zombie
"No hugs for you."

- After killing an approaching zombie.

"No, you cannot have a hug."

- After killing an approaching zombie.

"You can't stop Tricky Dick!"

- When being attacked by zombies. A reference to the nickname he received by Helen Gahagan Douglas, the Democratic-Republican running against him.

"Einey Meiney Mieney DIE!"

- When killing zombies.

"One potato two potato three potato BANG!"

- After killing a zombie.

"America! Hell yes."

- After killing a zombie.

"I've never been a quitter."

- After killing a zombie.

"Zed head's dead!"

- After killing a zombie. A reference to Pulp Fiction.

"Give me what I want!"

- After killing a zombie.

"I want your blood and I want your vote!"

- After killing a zombie.

"That's right, you better die."

- After killing a zombie.

"Hello Mr. Hippie, I expect you to die."

- After killing a zombie. Reference to infamous James Bond quote.

"Got your gobble gobble right here freak!"

- After killing a zombie.

"By taking this action, I hope I have hastened the start of healing."

- After killing a zombie.

"If only you had a vote..."

- After killing a zombie.

"Pick that up hippie!"

- After killing a zombie.

"As the hippies say, I come in peace man."

- After killing a zombie.

"WHAT?! WHAT?! Oh, I did that on purpose, okay?"

- Random

"Now that's what I call a bullet sponge."

- After killing a zombie with a Ray Gun.

"Yes! What can't this Ray Gun do?"

- After killing a zombie with a Ray Gun.

"Mwahahahahahah!"

- After killing a zombie with a grenade.

"BOOM! Goes the explosive."

- After killing a zombie with a grenade. Reference to an internet meme in which a newscaster would drop all his lines.

"I did that on purpose. But, but I did."

- After killing a zombie with a grenade.

"Can't you maggots explode quietly?"

- After killing a zombie with a grenade.

"Ugh, boogie guts all over me."

- After killing a zombie that was close-by.

"That's as close as you get. compadre."

- After killing a zombie that was close-by.

"Take no risks, suffer no defeats! Take no risks, win no victories!"

- After killing multiple zombies.

"Killcam! Where's my killcam?!"

- After killing multiple zombies. A reference to the multiplayer first-person shooter game culture.

"I am that good."

- After killing multiple zombies.

"Yea, yea, I'm good. Tell me something I don't know."

- After killing multiple zombies.

"Shut up! Just shut up!"

- After killing multiple zombies.

"Oh look at the filthy carpets."

- After killing multiple zombies.

"Look what you made me do."

- After killing a zombie that just hit him.

"Back to the Ice Age!"

- After hitting a zombie with the Winter's Howl or Winter's Fury.

"I kicked him in his ice hole."

- After hitting a zombie with the Winter's Howl or Winter's Fury.

"C'mon! You're not dead yet? Really?"

- After hitting a zombie multiple times with a knife.

"Lets cuddle!"

- After killing a zombie with a knife.

"Gotcha!"

- After killing a zombie with a knife.

"Disgusting."

- After killing zombie with a knife.

"I've had it up to here with you carpet baggers."

- After killing a crawler.

"I hate aiming so low, it hurts my back."

- After killing a gas zombie.

"Now that was with my eyes closed."

- Sometimes said when getting a head shot.

"Now come on, you're making a mess."

- Sometimes said when getting a head shot.

"Aroo!"

- Sometimes said when attacked by zombies/scoring a lot of kills. A reference to TV show Futurama.

Being hit by a Zombie
"No Touchy"

- After a zombie hits him.

"You dare touch a Quaker?"

- After a zombie hits him.

"Get off me you hippie!"

- After a zombie hits him.

"Son, I am sick of this shit!"

- After a crawler hits him.

"Back Off! These are Italian"

- When attacked by a crawling zombie

"Go get a job hippie!"

- After a crawler hits him.

"Hey, hey, hey! These shoes are Italian!"

- After a crawler hits him.

"Get off my legs!"

- After a crawler hits him.

"Who's got the mukluks? These things are making a mess!"

- After a crawler hits him.

"Richard Nixon is not part of a complete breakfast!"

- Sometimes said after evading a zombie attack.

"Gotta learn how to survive defeat, that's how you develop character"

- Sometimes said after evading a zombie attack.

"Never learn how to accept defeat. *That's* how you develop courage."

- After a near-death experience.

"Jack is the handsome one, get him!"

- Random.

Ammo
"I will gladly pay you Tuesday for some extra rounds today."

- When running low on ammo. (Popeye reference)

"Gonna get real intimate if I can't find ammo."

- When running low on ammo.

"Pass the ammo please. I said PLEASE!"

- When running low on ammo.

"We'll all die soon if I don't find some rounds!"

- When running low on ammo.

"Damn you hippies, I'm out of ammo!"

- When out of ammo.

"Empty! I'm empty dagnabbit!"

- When out of ammo.

"Who needs ammo when you have looks like mine?"

- When out of ammo.

"Men, I'm out!"

- When out of ammo.

"What is this nonsense? Where are my rounds?!"

- When out of ammo.

Downed or revived
"I may be down, but I'm not out!"

- After getting downed.

"I'm not dead! Not yet!"

- After getting downed.

"NOOOO!"

- After getting downed.

"Nixon's back!"

- Upon being revived.

"I'm not finished yet!"

- Upon being revived.

"Meat is an anagram for team you know."

- Upon being revived.

"A man is not finished when defeated, only when he quits."

- Upon being revived.

Buying weapons off the wall
"Give me a rifle so I can kill all the hippies I see!"

- After buying an M14 off the wall.

"I'm gonna love it, and hug it, and call it Checkers!"

- After buying an M14 off the wall. Checkers is the name of Richard Nixon's Cocker Spaniel.

"Let's turn those rotten empty heads inside out."

- After buying an M14 off the wall.

"Perfect! I can keep my distance from this mess."

- After buying an M14 off the wall.

"Ergh, I get to see the whites of their eyes."

- After buying an M14 off the wall. This is ironic, however, since the M14 is a long-range weapon and seeing the whites of your opponents eyes refers to getting close to them. Also, zombies do not appear to have white in their eyes, rather glowing yellow.

"Guts will be spilled!"

- After buying an Olympia off the wall.

"All right, let's get this over with."

- After buying an Olympia off the wall.

"All right, who wants a buckshot rye?"

- After buying a Stakeout off the wall.

"People who like this kind of thing will find this as a sort of thing they like."

- After buying an SMG off the wall.

"That's it? Only one?!"

- After buying an SMG off the wall.

"Here comes the 'Nix'!"

- After buying an SMG off the wall.

"Yes, I get it. I have to go fight now!"

- After buying an SMG off the wall.

"Well this I can work with."

- After buying an MP5K off the wall.

"With this I'm going to gut me some zombies and use there spines as hats!...Actually, that's quite disgusting."

- After purchasing the bowie knife.

Perk-a-Colas
"I guess this means I have to help..."

- After drinking Quick Revive.

"I'm not a crook! I'm not a crook! I'm not a crook! I'm not a crook!"

- After drinking Speed Cola.

"Ooh, I feel good now."

- After drinking Jugger-Nog.

Power-ups
"Who said that?"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"I don't need your stinking points, I need your votes."

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"There's a catch, isn't there?"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"That's it? Max is all I get?"

- After getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"This means I have to keep fighting doesn't it?"

- After getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"Die!"

- After getting an Insta-Kill power-up.

"Nixon's revenge!"

- After getting an Insta-Kill power-up.

"Now we're talking."

- After getting an Insta-Kill power-up or Death Machine power-up.

"Blow it away!"

- After getting a Nuke power-up.

"Nuke-a-da-roo-co"

- After getting a Nuke power-up.

"Nuke-a-doodle-do"

- After getting a Nuke power-up.

"Finally, getting some help around here."

- After getting a Carpenter power-up.

"Keep it down up there!"

- After getting a Carpenter power-up.

"What's with the racket?!"

- After getting a Carpenter power-up.

"OK, maybe we have a few seconds."

- After getting a Carpenter power-up.

"Oh, I'll take it."

- After getting a Fire Sale power-up.

Pack-a-Punch
"This is me waiting... This is me waiting on drugs... HURRY THE FUCK UP!"

- While using the Pack-A-Punch machine. Reference to 1980's Presidential Anti-Drug campaign.

"I don't have all day, you stupid machine!"

- While using the Pack-a-Punch machine.

"Tick-tock! Tick-tock! Tick-tock! I'm gonna kick you in the *cough*!"

- While using the Pack-A-Punch machine.

"Hurry up! Hurry up."

- While using the Pack-A-Punch machine.

"This better be good...It cost enough."

- While using the Pack-A-Punch machine.

"This is how you pack-a-punch."

- After getting a weapon from the Pack-A-Punch machine.

"Bring on the hippies! The commies! The commies and the hippies! Bah! Both of them!"

- After getting a weapon from the Pack-A-Punch machine.

"It took you long enough damn machine thingy."

- After getting a weapon from the Pack-A-Punch machine.

"I might actually smile...*might*."

- After getting a weapon from the Pack-A-Punch machine.

"That's right...you're going to give me what I want."

- After getting a weapon from the Pack-A-Punch machine.

"Wait what?! I deserve a celebrity discount!"

- Not enough money to Pack-A-Punch a weapon.

Mystery Box
"Communist! Open the damn box!"

- Not enough money to buy the Mystery Box.

"I'm being treated like a crook!"

- After getting a CZ75 or a Python from the Mystery Box.

"This I can work with"

- After getting a Spectre from the Mystery Box.

"This gift better keep on giving!"

- After getting a Galil from the Mystery Box.

"Somebody likes me!...I think."

- After getting a China Lake from the Mystery Box.

"Uh, good enough, I suppose."

- After getting a Commando from the Mystery Box.

"Uh, stay frosty!"

- After getting the Winter's Howl from the Mystery Box.

"Just when I was beginning to like you..."

- After getting the Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Solutions are not the answer...Wait a minute, did I miss anything?"

- After getting a Spas-12 from the Mystery Box.

"What kind of box is this?"

- After Teddy bear.

Other
"Argh...Taxing me like a democrat!"

- Not enough money to buy a weapon or barrier.

"The bloodiest wars in history were fought with buttercups, and hippies!"

- Random

"Smack 'Em with your beard, and Burn 'em with your stogie, Fidel!"

- Possibly Random.

Castro
"Will someone please find the power!?"

- At the beginning.

"Batteries were clearly not included!"

- At the beginning.

"Only a capitalist nation would deprive their people of power."

- At the beginning.

Killing a Zombie
"I dare you to repeat that offer maricón! ("maricón" means "faggot" in Spanish)"

- After a kill.

"No man should live past the time where his body begins to deteriorate!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"I'll use your stale skin to wrap my cigars!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"Oh yeah!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"Time to die, zombie putas!"

- Upon getting a kill; "puta" means "whore" in Spanish.

"Viva la Revolucion!"

- After knife kill. ("Long live the revolution" in Spanish.)

"For Cuba!"

- After knife kill

"Taste my fury!"

- After knife kill.

"Yargh!"

- After knife kill.

"They fall as easily as Batista, ha-ha!"

- After an explosive kill.

"No escape for those who live like parasites!"

- After an explosive kill.

"Let their cursed blood rain!"

- After an explosive kill.

"BOOM!"

- After an explosive kill.

"Hello sir, I have a surprise for you!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Only I can punish crimes of such magnitude!"

- After killing a zombie that recently injured him.

"At least stand before I kill you!"

- After killing a Gas Zombie.

"Dirty capitalista!"

- After killing a Gas Zombie.

"Aha, a lesson for you diablos!"

- Upon getting multiple kills. ("diablo" means "demon" in Spanish.)

"La revolucion!"

- After multiple kills.

Being hit by a Zombie
"Keep your putrid fingers off my uniform... filthy flesh eaters!"

- Upon getting hit by zombies.

"Touch me again and I will kill you again!"

- Upon getting hit by a zombie.

Down or revived
"Like the revolution I will never die!"

- When being revived.

"Gracias hermano."

- When being revived. ("Thank you brother" in Spanish)

Ammo
"What is this? I'm low on ammo!"

- When low on ammo.

"I'm low on ammo!"

- When low on ammo.

"Capitalists keep ammunition from my hands!"

- When low on ammo.

"Pray that it's ghost I'm low on ammo!"

- When low on ammo.

"Lots of ammunition to keep the revolution alive!"

- When low on ammo.

"Bullets, bullets! My republic for some bullets!"

- When out of ammo. This is a reference to William Shakespeare's play "Richard III".

"There can be no revolution without ammunition!"

- When out of ammo.

"No ammo? Time for a cigar break then!"

- When out of ammo.

"I'm out! Knife work it is then!"

- When out of ammo.

"No more ammo? Fine, I will crush them with my fist!"

- When out of ammo.

Buying weapons off the wall
"This weapon suits my disposition!"

- After buying the M14.

"Ah, a straight harvester!"

- After buying an Olympia.

"Their lessons will be hard, but when deserved."

- After buying a MP5K.

"Just like the one I keep under my bed!"

- After buying a Stakeout.

"This is a honor."

- After buying a SMG.

"Time for some C.Q.C."

- After buying a SMG; C.Q.C. stands for close quarter combat.

"I love it!"

- After buying a SMG.

Power-ups
"Double Points? Only a capitalist pig would want more than what he is given."

- After getting Double Points power-up.

"I only accept this rise for the sake of the people."

- After getting Double Points power-up.

"If only I have double the cigars, too!"

- After getting Double Points power-up.

"Damn you Khrushchev for denying me this!"

- After getting a Nuke.

Perk-a-Colas
"I'm a better comrade for this!"

- Upon buying Quick Revive.

"Hysterical? Neurotic? I am all that more than juggernaut!"

- Upon buying Jugger-nog.

Mystery Box
"Not for a billion capitalists dollars would I give up this work of art!"

- After getting a Ray Gun.

"If only I had this at the Bay of Pigs..."

- Getting a Ray Gun from the Mystery Box.

"Who needs Khrushchev missiles when I have this?"

- Getting a China Lake.

"This is an outrage!"

- Getting a Python from Mystery Box.

Pack-a-Punch
"Ah, like a perfect cigar!"

- After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

Other
"You remind me of my comrade Che"

- To McNamara/very rare

"You dare overprice this?!"

- When without enough points to buy something.

"If I were in Cuba this wouldn't happen!"

- When without enough points to buy something.

"Ladrón capitalista!("Capitalist thief" in Spanish)"

- When without enough points to buy something.

McNamara
"There's power nearby, there has to be."

- At the beginning.

"Electricity is required to continue this war."

- At the beginning.

Killing a Zombie
"Each zombie dead is another man living."

- After a kill.

"Living dead: maybe, but I'll still outlive ya!"

- After a kill.

"Hands off the Mac, Jack!"

- After a kill.

"U-S-A! U-S-A!"

- Upon knife kill.

"The time is now!"

- Upon knife kill.

"BIG MAC ATTACK!"

- Upon knife kill.

"Death to death!"

- Upon knife kill.

"You are the sickness, I am the medicine."

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Things that go boom usually die."

- Upon getting an explosive kill.

"I dubbed this up: shock and awe!"

- Upon getting an explosive kill.

"Your death creates a nauseating Fog of War!"

- After killing a Gas Zombie, obvious reference to MacNamara's documentary: The Fog of War

"I'm an ice-cold killer."

- Upon getting a kill with Winter's Howl/Winter's Fury.

"Die again, and again, and AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN!"

- After killing multiple zombies.

"Back to hell demon-spawn!"

- After killing multiple zombies.

"This is how one stimulates progress!"

- After killing multiple zombies.

"Not yet we have a single defense policy: DEATH TO ZOMBIES!"

- After killing multiple zombies.

"They didn't call me the wiz kid for nothing."

- After killing multiple zombies

"Really, I have only just begun!"

- After killing multiple zombies.

"The probability of you touching me again is ZERO! Hah!"

- After killing a zombie that has attacked him

"Be happy; you have another arm."

- When destroying a zombie's limb.

Being hit by a Zombie
"Watch the hair!"

- After being hit by zombie.

"You will pay for that, rot-face!"

- After being hit by zombie.

"Ugh... crawler!"

- When attacked by a crawling zombie.

"Nixon... you have just soiled your pants."

- When attacked by a crawling zombie.

Ammo
"Almost out!"

- When low ammo.

"I'm blinking light here!"

- When low ammo.

"My accountant says I need to find some rounds."

- When out of ammo.

"Zero times two is still zero!"

- When out of ammo.

"No ammo? Time to get dirty..."

- No ammo.

Buying weapons off the wall
"Today I hunt death."

- After buying any weapon.

"Devastation is at hands!"

- After buying Olympia.

"This weapon suits my disposition."

- After buying any sniper rifle.

"Line 'em up so I can knock 'em down."

- After buying M14.

"In order to do good, you may have to engage in evil."

- When buying a Stakeout.

"SMG! Recommended use: short bursts for maximum elicitation of death."

- After buying an SMG.

"This weapon does not suit my disposition, but it suits the situation."

- After buying an SMG.

"An automatic carbine designed to fire pistol cartridges...genius!"

- When buying an MP5K or MPL

Power-ups
"Here I come!"

- Upon getting a Insta-Kill power-up.

"It's night time."

- Upon getting a Insta-Kill power-up.

"I calculate success."

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"X times P equals to... more points than Rockefeller!"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"An expediential solution."

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"Your burning flesh warms my heart."

- Upon getting Nuke.

"A cure for the living impaired."

- Upon getting Nuke.

"The use of nuclear deterrence is approved."

- Upon getting Nuke.

Perk-a-Colas
"This will enhance my defense capability two-fold."

- Upon buying Jugger-Nog.

"Ugh! Did anyone check the expiration date?"

- Upon buying Quick Revive.

"Whoo, faster reload well worth the money spent!"

- Upon buying Speed Cola.

"Double Tap! *speaks quickly* Increases the fire rate by thirty percent."

- Upon buying Double Tap Root Beer.

Downed or revived
"Lesson 10: Never say never!"

- When downed.

"Give me a revive! There's too many to handle alone!"

- When downed.

"I'm down!"

- When downed.

"I thank you for your support."

- After being revived.

"I am in your debt."

- After being revived.

"Thank you! I will not let you down!"

- After being revived.

Mystery Box
"This is unacceptable!"

- After receiving Python from Mystery Box.

"My appraisal to this machine gun is one of the proof."

- After receiving any assault rifle from Mystery Box.

"Explosives: approved."

- After receiving any explosive weapon from Mystery Box.

"Insufficient funds..."

- When attempting to use the Mystery Box without requisite money.

Pack-a-Punch
"This reminds me of Step 6: Get the data!"

- While waiting for the Pack-A-Punch machine. This is one of the lessons shown in the documentary The Fog of War.

"No more Mr. Nice secretary!"

- After getting a weapon from Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"I really need to send one of these to the USMC."

- When getting a Pack-a-Punched Ray Gun or Winter's Howl.

Other
"Damn, my math was wrong!"

- When attempting to open a door without requisite money

"Not enough money? Time to re-examine the budget!"

- When attempting to buy a weapon without requisite money.

"Guess I shouldn't have made those budget cuts."

- When attempting to buy a weapon without requisite money

"Lesson number 8: Be prepared to re-examine your reasoning."

- Random