Shadows of Evil/Quotes

This is a list of the characters' quotes from the zombies map Shadows of Evil.

Talking to the Shadow Man
"I can hear you! Geez, are you...are you the one I saw i-in my...dream?"

- In response to Shadow Man, at the beginning of a match

"I-I think we should listen to him. Really, really listen to him."

- In response to the Shadow Man on round 2

"H-hey you out there, whoever was talking to us a minute ago? Can you at least tell us what...the...hell is going on?!?"

- In response to the Shadow Man on round 3

"My wife, my ex-wife, my de-dead wife, it was never enough for her. No matter what I did, she complained; if I was busy, I wasn't paying her enough attention, if I wasn't busy, I was lazy. She complained, and she spent money: and she was really good at both."

- Confessing his sin to the Shadow Man

Rituals
"I thought evil contracts were usually signed in blood..."

- After picking up the Pen

"They say the pen is mightier than the sword. Unless, of course, it happens to be a sword fight."

- After picking up the Pen

"Oh, this reminds me of when I was a child, playing Cops n Robbers."

- After picking up the Badge

"Ugh, I'm not gonna get in trouble for impersonating a police officer now, am I?"

- After picking up the Badge

"It's my workshop where I create the props for my spellbinding illusions! Yes..."

- After entering his Landing for the first time, in response to the Shadow Man

"W-would I be able to talk to my lawyer before answering that?"

- After entering the Ruby Rabbit for the first time, in response to the Shadow Man

"...No, I-I can't say that it is..."

- After entering the boxing gym for the first time, in response to the Shadow Man

"Well, ah, I-I have watched the occasional performance in this establishment..."

- After entering the Burlesque for the first time, in response to the Shadow Man

"Is this related to the guy in the jar?"

- After picking up a Gateworm

Perk-a-Cola
"It is a weak man who finds strength only through liquor."

- After buying a Perk

"Not sure drinking that was the best idea."

- After buying a Perk-a-Cola

"Has this tonic imbued me with some otherworldly power?"

- After buying a Perk-a-Cola

"I spent half my life, thirsty. Why, I wonder?"

- After buying a Perk-a-Cola

"Bottoms up!"

- After buying a Perk-a-Cola

Gobblegum
"I wasn't allowed gum as a child...wait, wait, wait, that's-that's not true!"

- After purchasing and receiving a GobbleGum

"So many colors! Do they all taste different?"

- After purchasing and receiving a GobbleGum

"Gum is in fact originally derived from tree sap! Isn't that interesting?"

- After purchasing and receiving a GobbleGum

"The sugar does not agree with me."

- After purchasing and receiving a GobbleGum

"Oh! Maybe I'll need this candy to sustain me in the final hours!"

- After purchasing and receiving a GobbleGum

"Mmm, I can't tell you how many times I've found this stuff stuck on the underside of a theater chair!"

- After eating a GobbleGum

"If it imbues me with power, hmm, then chew I WILL!"

- After eating a GobbleGum

Beast Mode
"There must be a method for this madness, a reason for us to take that hideous, hideous form."

- Randomly after returning from Beast Mode

"With each subsequent transformation, I grow ever more confident with my tentacles."

- Randomly after returning from Beast Mode

"Is there a chance that I've always had this power, but I didn't know?"

- Randomly after returning from Beast Mode

"If I could have done this back when I was performing... I would have brought the house down."

- Randomly after returning from Beast Mode

Other
"Kill it, KILL IT, have we got any fire? Fire usually kills things!"

- When a Margwa is near.

"EVIL BALLS!"

- When an Insanity Elemental is nearby

"Your time of vanquishment, will come soon enough, beast!"

- When destroying a Margwa's head

"Step right up, and see Nero perform...the knives of death."

- Upon getting a melee kill.

"Three heads like Cerberus, tentacles like an octopus! Ooh, Cerbertopus!!"

- When a Margwa is near.

"Time waits for no man... and this man has no time to wait."

- Upon purchasing a wall weapon

"Why don't we just take a breather, and calm down for a minute?"

- In response to Jack Vincent

"This may be the most elaborate egg cup I've ever seen! It seems there's a place for everything. Even a giant, interdimensional egg!"

- Upon placing the Apothicon Egg on a Cthulhu statue

"Just as I thought, it fits like a glove."

- Upon placing the Apothicon Egg on a Cthulhu Statue

"I'm invincible, I can't be vinced! I'm invincible, you- who's trying to vince me?... Is "vincible" even a thing?"

- After getting hit by a zombie

"Ah, it appears that the shield is QUICKER THAN THE EYE!"

- When using the Rocket Shield.

Talking to the Shadow Man
"You fucking talking to me?"

- In response to Shadow Man, at the beginning of a match after Shadow Man finishes speaking.

"Wha- You mean to tell me that these corpses are actually the real people of the city?... Fuck 'em."

- In response to Shadow Man, at Round 3

Beast Mode
"Aghh... what just happened? Someone slip me a mickey?"

- Randomly after exiting Beast Mode.

"That shit is CRAZY! Those fuckers couldn't even TOUCH ME!"

- Randomly after exiting Beast Mode.

Rituals
"Wait wait, wait, what!?"

- Upon starting the ritual.

"Sacred. Place. Really? Then what? Some worm monster comes for its babies?"

- Upon picking up Gateworm.

"I can think of a few places I'd like to shove this."

- Upon picking up a Gateworm.

"No one ever says "Good job, Jackie". No one ever says "Hey, thanks for keeping the streets safe for normal folks. Here's a raise in pay so you don't have to go on the fuckin' take to pay for your bills". NO ONE EVER FUCKING SAYS THAT TO JACKIE FUCKING VINCENT!"

- After completing the ritual in the Ruby Rabbit

"I got problems. I got a fuckin' wife who won't stop bitchin' about how much I drink, how much I eat, how much I smoke, how much I wanna fuck. I swear I got an ulcer the size of Staten fuckin' Island."

- After completing the ritual in the Ruby Rabbit

"Bumpin' off my snitch, that's one thing. He was a no good lowlife, world's better off without him, but my partner...shit, he didn't deserve that."

- After completing the ritual in the Ruby Rabbit

"It takes a certain kind of man to wear a toupee. Yo Nero, this yours?"

- Upon picking up the Hair Piece.

"It takes a certain kind of idiot to wear a toupee."

- Upon picking up the Hair Piece

Other
"I'm Jackie motherfuckin' Vincent!"

- When randomly killing zombies.

"I've been shot three times in the line of duty, it's gonna take more than a scratch to bother me!"

- After killing a zombie that just attacked him.

"Give up? I'm Jack fuckin' Vincent! I ain't givin' up, not now, not never!"

- After being revived.

"You got my wife beat. She only has TWO faces!"

- Said when a Margwa spawns.

"In a moment this weapon is going to be about as useful as Magic Man's wand."

- When low on ammo.

"You freaks come in "extra large" now??"

- When seeing a Margwa for the first time

"Uhh, this is gonna get all kinds of ugly."

- When seeing a Margwa spawn.

"I'm not gonna let any of your heads take a bite outta me!"

- When seeing a Margwa.

"I'm not even gonna bother reading you your rights."

- When seeing a Margwa.

"Not going down without a fight, huh?"

- When seeing a Margwa.

"C'mon you flying shitheads, I'm ready for ya!"

- When starting a Parasite round.

"Just like taking candy from a baby, without the baby."

- When buying a GobbleGum.

"When life gives you lemons, buy a fucking gun!"

- When buying a wall weapon.

"Jackie V. claims that a minor victory."

- After the end of round.

"What the fuck is this?"

- When picking up Fumigator.

"Ain't gotta fuckin' tell ya, I get shit done."

- After the end of round.

"Who wants to learn about the law?"

- Upon picking up Insta-Kill.

"I'm warning you ugly son of a bitch!"

- When seeing a zombie for the first time.

"Hey, stay where you are!"

- When seeing a zombie for the first time.

"What the fuck!?"

- When seeing a zombie for the first time.

"I got a feeling Jackie V. is about to put a hurt on the next freak I see!"

- Upon picking up Insta-Kill.

"Anyone else feel dizzy coming back from that ride? I feel like I'm gonna puke!"

- Said randomly after returning from Beast Mode.

Talking to the Shadow Man
"I don't think this is a dream..."

- After Shadow Man first contacts the characters

Interacting with zombies
"Congratulations, you just pissed me off."

- After killing a zombie that hit him

"I will walk right through you."

- After killing a zombie that hit him

Beast Mode
"This...is some fucked-up shit."

- Said randomly after returning from Beast Mode.

"Shake it off, Floyd. C'mon!"

- Said randomly after returning from Beast Mode.

Rituals
"This ain't the key to my heart. I threw that away a long time ago."

- After picking up the Summoning Key

"Maybe I could write a note, tell everyone how I really feel..."

- After picking up the Pen

"This don't belong to me, 'less I take it from the champ himself."

- After picking up the Belt

"Of all the things I could find, I found a damn toupee."

- After picking up the Hairpiece

Other
"I just know this ain't gonna be a fair fight."

- When seeing a Margwa for the first time.

"Body shots ain't doing shit. Go for heads!"

- When a Margwa is near.

"Damn, and I thought I was angry."

- In response to Jack Vincent after the ritual at the Ruby Rabbit.

Other
"Uh oh, this gun has stopped working!"

- When out of ammo.

"I will dance all over your dumb ass"

- When killing a zombie that had hit her.

"You're so ugly, I can't blame you for being mad"

- When a Margwa is near

"Ah well, he was a no-good sleezeball anyway."

- After completing the ritual in the Black Lace Burlesque

Shadow Man
"You bear the mark, you are cursed! You must place your hand upon the stone!"

- Said at the beginning of a match.

"You have blood on your hands, it cannot be cleansed! Your sins have allowed others to tear their way into your world."

- Said at the beginning of round 2-3

"Your world, as it was, is still here. It's shifted slightly, wrenched from its rightful place. Many of the souls, who inhabited it, have succumbed to the darkness. There are echoes in themselves, trapped in a fractured shadow of reality."

- Said at the beginning of round 2-3

"They are coming. They have already corrupted this world with their twisted malfeasance. YOU are chosen, YOU are marked, YOU are cursed!"

- Said at the beginning of round 2-3

"Only by invoking the beast, can you find the items you need. You must explore the... unexplored."

- Said at the beginning of round 3.

"Why did you kill?"

- Said at the beginning of round 5-8.

"These are our TRUE enemies!"

- Said upon the first spawn of the gatekeepers.

"This...is a room of secrets. Do you know what I speak of?"

- When the player enters Nero's Landing for the first time.

"The Ruby Rabbit. Each of you knows this place. What does it mean to you?"

- When the player enters The Ruby Rabbit for the first time.

"The boxing gym. Is this room...familiar to you?"

- When the player enters the boxing gym for the first time.

"The Burlesque. More than any other place in this city, your paths have crossed here."

- When the player enters the Burlesque for the first time.

"Here we go! The ritual now commences!"

- When a ritual begins for the first time.

"We must hurry! The keepers seek to hasten the collapse of the dimensions."

- Said upon killing the gatekeepers for the first time.

"The summoning key is the most powerful artifact in this, or any other dimension."

- Upon obtaining the summoning key.

"Complete the ritual! The gateworm's energy must be released!"

- Upon entering the Pack-a-Punch area.

"Your services to the overlords is appreciated. Our complete assimilation of this dimension will now... Proceed."

- Upon completing the 5th ritual.

"How could this be?! This was NOT what supposed to order the prophecies!"

- Upon initiating the 6th step of the easter egg.

"WAIT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! YOU ARE BUT MORTALS! AARRRGGGG!!!"

- About to be trapped inside the summoning key.

Floyd Campbell & Jack Vincent
Vincent: ''Hey Floyd! I was at the fight last week. You messed him up good, you fucking animal.''

Campbell: There's a little more to it than that, but I appreciate it.

Vincent: ''C'mon, you're in the fight game. You know how this works. Debts. They always have to be paid.''

Campbell: You're saying we're here because we owe a debt?

Vincent: ''It's survival of the fittest. I don't know about you, but I don't think Magic Man and Twinkle Tits are gonna make it.''

Campbell: ''Ehh, I'm looking out for number one, know what I'm sayin'? I don't have a problem with anyone... unless they get in my way.''

Vincent: ''C'mon, we gotta be realistic here. These two morons are only slowing us down. How about, we team up and uh, *whistles*. C'mon, you know?''

Campbell: ''You wanna take them out of the game? That's your business. Told you before, I'm looking out for myself. There's no easy way of getting out of this. He told us right from the start. We bear the mark. We are cursed.''

Vincent: ''Curses? I don't believe in fucking curses. We make our own destiny. There's gotta be a way to get out of this nightmare!''

Jessica Rose & Floyd Campbell
Jessica: ''You're so ugly, I almost thought you were one of them. Do me a favor, and stay the Hell away from me.''

Campbell: ''Calm down, lady. Believe me. If I wanted to cause trouble, I could. Right now, I couldn't give two bits what you think... You seem friendly with the magician. Does he... know something about what's going on?''

Jessica: ''He's a "child of privilege"!... He barely knows how to wipe his own ass. Word to the wise, you might wanna look out for our detective friend. I think he's ready to sell you out.''

Campbell: ''Vincent? He's no friend of mine. I wouldn't trust that crooked piece of garbage if he swore on his mother's life... So what's your story? You seem kinda like the odd one out here. Or have you got blood on your hands too?''

Jessica: ''I have only ever done what I needed to protect myself. If this is about getting us to say sorry, then someone's in for a disappointment.''

Campbell: You don't care about what happens to anyone but yourself, do ya?

Jessica: ''You're right. And that makes me exactly the same as the rest of you.''

Nero Blackstone & Floyd Campbell
Nero: ''Say, you-you're clearly a man of formidable physical strength. Perhaps your skills, could complement my intellect?''

Campbell: ''I think I'd rather you just kept your distance, pal. Can't say I'm too keen on theatrical types.''

Nero: ''I can't imagine a man such as yourself is able to comprehend the implications of, of this... inter-dimensional convergence.''

Campbell: ''Don't go thinking your fancy words confuse me. I know what all this means. I know why we're here.''

Nero: ''So, my pugilistic friend, why do you think this is happening? I'd love to hear the opinion of a, uh, blue-collar guy.''

Campbell: ''You wanna know what I think? I think we're being punished. I think all of this is happening because we're bad people.''

Nero: ''He told us we have blood on our hands. That's what you were talking about when you said we were being punished, right?''

Campbell: ''The way I see it, we each ended up on this Shadow guy's naughty list. And I don't think there's a way to change that.''

Nero: Do you think we need to repent, possibly to somehow, make amends for our past misdeeds?

Campbell: ''Nah. I don't think we're ever gonna make amends. I think we're better off just embracing our darker side.''

Jessica Rose & Nero Blackstone
Nero: ''Hey, so uh, I-I like your show. Uhm, I'm also a theatrical performer, "The Amazing Nero". Uhh, maybe you've heard of me?''

Jessica: ''I haven't. Just keep your distance, ok? I haven't quite figured you out yet.''

Nero: ''Say, I hope you don't mind me saying, uhm, but for some reason... you kinda remind me of my wife. Isn't that interesting? But, uh, you're nicer, of course, and less dead.''

Jessica: ''If you think I'm nice, you really don't know me well at all. So don't be getting any ideas. You get too close, and I'll hurt you real bad.''

Nero: ''You know, clearly the whole world has gone completely insane. We may be better off, you and I, if we work together. Uhh, you know, maybe it's the others they really want.''

Jessica: Why do you act like you know something I don't?

Nero: Well, uh, I wish that were true, but I don't think I'm sure of anything more than you are.

Jessica: ''Look, this is a bad situation. You seem to be the only one who has any clues what's happening to us!''

Nero: I think we may have to work together if we have any chance of getting out of this.

Jessica: ''You'll scratch my back if I scratch yours, is that what you're saying?... I'll get back to you on that.''

Jack Vincent & Jessica Rose
Vincent: ''Listen, sweet tits, I know who you are. I know what you do. I'd trust you about as far as I could piss in a hurricane.''

Jessica: ''I know who you are too... A crooked cop with more bad habits than he could deal with.''

Vincent: ''You know you're not gonna get far on your own. Stick with me and you might have a chance.''

Jessica: ''I don't rely on anyone, Detective. Least of all, a dirty cop who will double-cross me at the first opportunity.''

Vincent: So, this fucking Magic Man, do you think he knows something we don't? This shit seems right up his alley.

Jessica: ''Oh, Detective, are you really so naive? Nero's about as "magic" as my left cheek!... Are you still looking to make alliances, Detective? I'm thinking, maybe I could do worse than team up with you.''

Vincent: ''I knew you'd come around. You're a lot better off with me than the meathead or the conjurer.''

Jessica: ''You know I'd really appreciate it if... you would stay close and... watch my back, hmm?''

Vincent: ''Oh, you know I will, honey. Even though I know you'll stab mine first chance you get.''

Nero Blackstone & Jack Vincent
Vincent: ''Hey! Magic Man! You got something to do with all of this? One of your spells go wrong or something?''

Nero: ''No, I'm an illusionist, I-I deal in misdirection and theatrics. This, this is uh, well, this is something else... This seems familiar. I, I think I read about something like this, in a book.''

Vincent: Wh-what book?

Nero: ''This is an inter-dimensional convergence. Other galaxies, other realities are bleeding into our own.''

Vincent: So, you're talking about some book like it might explain all this?

Nero: Uh, yes Detective, I've read many books, but uh, forgive me if I don't remember the precise details of one specific book.

Vincent: ''You know what, shitbag? I'm starting to think you got no more idea what's happening than the rest of us.''

Nero: ''I never claimed absolute knowledge, Detective, only... speculated. Like a, uh, positive theory... Detective! Detective? Are you avoiding me? You don't want to seem to talk.''

Vincent: ''Know what? Why don't you just back the fuck off? I'm starting to get the feeling that you might be the fucking jinx!''