Kino der Toten/Quotes

Beginning
"No power, no glory."

- At the beginning.

"Are you freakin' kidding me? No power!"

- At the beginning.

"Well well well. Look's like there ain't no power."

- At the beginning.

"Gonna have to get the power on, it's like déjà vu all over again."

- At the beginning.

"Yep, just as I suspected. We need to get the power on."

- At the beginning.

"No power. How original."

- Beginning a match

Cut Quotes
"The Waffle! Killing zombies made easy in one single step. Batteries included."

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box. (Said in a very fast, commercial-sounding voice.)

"Element 115. Concentrated to a single beam of pure badassery...wait...how the hell do I know that?"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box. Note reference to the brainwashing effect caused by Element 115 on Takeo, Nikolai, and Dempsey.

"The DG-2... one slick piece of machinery."

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"Wonder Waffle...yeah. Thing 'o beauty."

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"Hey zombies! You like Waffles?"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"Welcome to the party meatsacks!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"They got ZERO chance against me and the Wonder Waffle!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"You see that? HOLY SHIT BALLS!"

- Killing zombie/s with the Wunderwaffe DG-2

"Time to fry freakmaggots!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"BZZZ! ZAP! Woohoo!"

- Killing zombie/s with the Wunderwaffe DG-2

Killing a Zombie
"Back off meatmouth!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"Look at that mess I made...Oorah."

- After killing lots of zombies in a row.

"Gotta give ya credit zombie, you got no quit in ya!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"Stay dead cheesehead!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"Eat my blade, maggot-sack!"

- After a knife kill.

"Taste this, bone-junkie!"

- After a knife kill.

"RARGH!!!"

- After a knife kill.

"Die, DIE!"

- After a knife kill.

"Blow them to high hell!"

- After an explosive kill.

"AWESOME!"

- After an explosive kill.

"Hey, freak-bag! You need to learn a way to die!"

- After an explosive kill.

"I've gave him credit, he's not about to quit!"

- After an explosive kill.

"I guess they need to get blown up again!"

- After an explosive kill.

"Stupid undead flesh monkeys! You're dead already!"

- After an explosive kill.

"There's just something so beautiful about blowing shit up!"

- After an explosive kill.

"Blood-sucking gutter-slugs, you're goin' out Dempsey-style!"

- After an explosive kill.

"Oo-fuckin'-rah!"

- After an explosive kill.

"Whoo-hoo!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"If I keep this up I'm gonna run out of zombies!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Argh! Fuck me that smells!"

- After killing a Gas Zombie.

"Richtofen! Lay off the sauerkraut man!"

- After killing a Gas Zombie

"How do ya like that, creepy crawler!"

- After killing a Gas Zombie.

"He just... he just blew all over the place! *laughs* Wow!"

- Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"Let's send those freakbags back to 1946!"

- Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"Okay, woah! That was bad-ass!"

- Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"Killing zombies in one simple step! Batteries not included."

- When getting multiple kills with the Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"Killing zombies since 1945! Ooh-Ra!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Die you undead flesh-whores!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Hey zombies, you're dying over here!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Enough dead for a Goth party!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"You keep coming, I'll keep killing!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Okay, let's see, a thousand zombies, and one Dempsey; yeah that seems fair."

- Upon multiple kills.

Being hit by a Zombie
"Eat it ya nasty squag!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"Die you undead flesh-addict!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"K to the I to the A Zombitch!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him, reference to status K.I.A (Killed in Action)

Hellhound
"Ah great... this again!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Bring on the dogs!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"I ain't gonna be any puppy's chew toy!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Time to put you down puppy-dog!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Fetch my grenade, devil voice!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Fuck you, Fido!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"Down boy!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"That's the last leg you'll ever hump!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

Downed or revived
"Fucker caught me napping!"

- When downed.

"Man down, MAN DOWN!"

- When downed.

"My gun was jammed, else that wouldn't have happened."

- Said when being revived.

"Argh... this is embarrassing!"

- When downed.

"I hope you choke, meat-sack!"

- When downed.

"Lucky bone-sucking maggot-whores... they're really gonna pay now!"

- After being revived.

"Whatever... even a blind squirrel is right twice a day."

- After being revived.

"So they got a little lucky... WHAT?!"

- After being revived.

""Don't worry, just tripped.""

- After being revived.

Ammo
"Feeling light... need the juice."

- When low ammo.

"Need some juice soon!"

- When low ammo.

"Need some more ammo..."

- When out of ammo.

"Knee deep in zombie shit with no ammo, glorious!"

- When out of ammo.

"Hey player! I need ammo or we're going down!"

- When out of ammo.

"Hey player! Drop the chips and get me some ammo!"

- When out of ammo.

"I need to find some lead or I'm gonna get bored here!"

- When out of ammo.

"Damn! I'm out of juice!"

- When out of ammo.

"Gonna have to round up some rounds!"

- When low on ammo or out of ammo.

"I need more ammunition! Ahh!! Ahh!!"

- When low on ammo or out of ammo.

"What's that clicking noise?"

- When attempting to fire an empty gun.

Buying weapons off the wall
"The only thing better than a M16 is... well, two M16s!"

- After buying a M16 off the wall.

"Ah, the M16. 5.56 millimeter magazine-fed gas-operated sweetness... just like me."

- After buying a M16 off the wall.

"Wonder if they'll even know what hit them."

- After buying a M14 off the wall.

"Little gun, lots of holes!"

- Buying a SMG off the wall

"I'm gonna spill their guts all over the place, haha!"

- After buying an Olympia off the wall.

"Nothing like a SMG!"

- After buying an AK-74u off the wall.

"Hey zombie! Wanna try out my new gun?"

- Buying an SMG off the wall

Power-up
"Whoo! More shit to kill with!"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"RE-JUICED!"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"Ammunition on the house!"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"Wait, we ARE keeping score?"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"Shoot 'em up!"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"Well, that'll keep 'em.... for now."

- Upon getting a Carpenter power-up

"NUUUKE!"

- Upon getting a Nuke.

"KA-BOOOOM!"

- Upon getting a Nuke.

"BOOM FUCKING RAH, Maggotaddicts!"

- Said upon getting a nuke.

"Eat that ya undead flesh monkeys!"

- Upon getting a Nuke.

"Man up Zombies, it's time to die."

- Upon getting Insta-Kill.

Perk-a-Cola
"Tastes like... fermented herring dipped in cat piss... ugh."

- Upon drinking Quick Revive.

"Ahhh, that hit the spot"

- Upon drinking Speed-cola.

"Reach for me, Jugger-Girl... oo-rah."

- Upon drinking Jugger-nog.

"Ugh, why is this stuff so damn chewy?"

- Upon drinking Double Tap Root Beer.

Pack-a-Punch
"I wonder if Richtofen has gears like that in his head."

- While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"Man... I wish we could replace Richtofen with a hot chick, I'm getting lonely here."

- While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"Pack a punch, just like me."

- While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"C'mon Pack-a-Punch, you better hurry up!"

- While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"Hell yeah, Dempsey gets an upgrade!"

- After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"Bring it on, freak-sacks!"

- After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

'''"A fire-breathing shotgun? Tears me up just thinking about it!"

- After getting Hades from the Pack-a-Punch Machine '''

Mystery Box
"Time to die, bone-jaw!"

- After getting a Commando from Mystery Box.

"Little gun, lots of holes."

- After getting a Spectre from Mystery Box.

"No more nice guy bone-jaw, I'm gonna kick your ass."

- After getting a SPAS-12 from Mystery Box.

"Time to make some noise!"

- After getting a HS-10 from Mystery Box.

"Well, I see the future hasn't changed anything! Fucking box!"

- After getting a Python from Mystery Box.

"That's just craptastic!"

- After getting a CZ75 from Mystery Box.

"Monkey! So glad to see you again, buddy!"

- After getting a Monkey Bomb from Mystery Box.

"Aww, what a cute little bundle of C4!"

- After getting a Monkey Bomb from Mystery Box.

"Looks like the future hasn't changed anything. Stupid bear."

- After getting a Teddy Bear from Mystery Box.

"Hey, Box! Fuck you!"

- After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Can't roll the dice if I can't place a bet!"

- When trying to use the Mystery Box without enough points.

"Oh, they are gonna dig this!!!"

- After Receiving the ray gun.

"Check out those cool lights and buttons..."

- After receiving the Thundergun.

Interactive
'''"Nice shot, Takeo!"

- When Takeo gets a headshot '''

'''"Beautiful!"

- When Takeo gets a headshot '''

'''"Perfect, as I would expect from a soldier like you!"

- When Takeo gets a headshot '''

'''"Keep it up Takeo! You're gonna be USMC honored!"

- When Takeo gets a headshot '''

'''"Do it again, Tak!"

- When Takeo gets a headshot '''

'''"Oh, you turned it's head inside out! OORAH!"

- When Takeo gets a headshot '''

'''"We're coming, Takeo!"

- When Takeo is swarmed '''

'''"Hang in, Tak! On the way!"

- When Takeo is swarmed '''

'''"Covering fire on its way for ya, Tak!"

- When Takeo is swarmed '''

'''"We gotta go help out Takeo!"

- When Takeo is swarmed '''

'''"Takeo's in trouble! Gotta help him!"

- When Takeo is swarmed '''

'''"Nice work, Takeo! But, you missed some."

- When Takeo makes a crawler '''

'''"We have a knee biter coming in!"

- When Takeo makes a crawler '''

'''"Wind 'em up and let 'em loose, Takeo!"

- When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"Lucky shot!"

- When Richtofen gets a headshot '''

'''"Richtofen's all surrounded! Let's leave him to his friends!"

- When Richtofen is swarmed '''

'''"Seriously, Richotfen, you gotta at least TRY to kill the thing!"

- When Richtofen makes a crawler '''

'''"Richtofen, stop playing with your monkey, man!"

- When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb '''

Other
"And you thought I couldn't find this place."

- Upon entering the bathroom at first floor.

"No time for sugar baby, I'm here to check the meter!"

- Upon entering the dressing room.

"Hey, I'm outside!"

- Upon gaining access to the alley.

"I always did want a spot on the big screen."

- After the power is turned on.

"Looks like part of a meteor."

- After found the first piece of the meteor.

"Here's another one!"

- After found the second piece of the meteor

"That has to be the last one."

- After found the last piece of the meteor.

"I found the hidden song, awesome."

- Upon activating the "115" song easter egg.

"I found the hidden song!"

- Upon activating the "115" song easter egg.

"A tale of two Dempseys, starts slow but has a happy ending."

- After examining his portrait.

"Whoa, looks like Nikolai has put on a few pounds. What's he been eatin'?"

- After examining Nikolai's portrait.

"Aww, our little bundle of badass."

- After examining Takeo's portrait.

"He's portrait bigger than anyone else is. Must be trying to compensate for something."

- Upon examining Richtofen's portrait.

"Hey look! It's nobody!"

- After examining the blacked-out portrait.

Beginning
"Maybe someone should go turn on the power now."

- At the beginning.

"No power! Just like home!"

- At the beginning.

"I think we need to do something about the power."

- At the beginning.

"Who didn't pay the electric bill?"

- At the beginning.

"We should go find the fuse box."

- At the beginning.

Cut Quotes
"Anyone else smell bacon?"

- Upon killing a zombie with the M2 Flamethrower

"You DIE!"

- Upon killing a zombie with a flamethrower

"You are on fire, hellpig!"

- Upon killing a zombie with a flamethrower

"All this fire is making me sweat. Sweat vodka!"

- Upon killing a zombie with a flamethrower

"Taste the flames of hell!"

- Upon killing a zombie with a flamethrower

"Oh great! It's the Wonderfulwaffle!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"This has more power than Moscow Electric Company!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"This ALMOST as strong as the best Russian vodka."

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"I have more for you!"

- Upon killing a zombie with the Wunderwaffe DG-2

"Taste the power of the Red Menace!"

- Upon killing a zombie with the Wunderwaffe DG-2

"Electrocution! Just like the gulag! What fun. Good times."

- Upon killing a zombie with the Wunderwaffe DG-2

"Ha! You die like the dogs that you are."

- Upon killing a zombie with the Wunderwaffe DG-2

"Heh, I think I saw his bone for a split-second."

- Upon killing a zombie with the Wunderwaffe DG-2

Killing a Zombie
"Out of my way piz-da!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"Move it! Coming through!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"You got pus on my new shirt!..I have to dry clean now!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"You capitalist pigdogs!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"It tried to take my vodka!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"Die by the hand of Nikolai! Hey, dat rhyme, heh..."

- Upon getting a kill when "Insta-Kill" is on.

"Die now, son of bitch!"

- Upon getting a kill when Insta-Kill is on.

"Do svidaniya, bitches!"

- Upon getting a kill when Insta-Kill is on. ("Do svidaniya" meaning "goodbye" in Russian.)

"Euuuaaaaghhhhhh!!"

- Upon getting a kill when Insta-Kill is on.

"I'll drink to your death"

- Upon getting a kill when Insta-Kill is on.

"Now that's what I call a goulash!"

- Killing multiple zombies with an explosive weapon

"You fall like coddled bourgeois."

- When getting multiple kills

"I made a very big mess."

- When getting multiple kills

"No it's MY VODKA! MINE! MY OWN!"

- When getting multiple kills

"Death to you, demon-spawn!"

- When getting multiple kills

"I just killed a billion zombies! Why is no one helping?!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Good hellspawns! Die!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Like weak before sight."

- Upon multiple kills.

"Nikolai cannot die. Hey, that rhymes!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Hey guys, look what I did."

- Upon multiple kills.

"The Red Army cannot be overrun!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Ha! You cannot even beat a drunk Soviet!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"NEVER mess with a Soviet!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"No! No vodka for you!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"If that's all you got. Maybe, I'm not drinking enough."

- Upon multiple kills.

"STAY AWAY FROM MY VODKA! What? It's a classic!"

- After an explosive kill.

"This fucking gun is amazing!"

- Getting a kill with the Ray Gun

"That was satisfying."

- Getting a kill with the Ray Gun

"I've got more for you."

- Getting a kill with the Ray Gun

"No chance for you, hellpig!"

- Getting a kill with the Ray Gun

"No more drinks for you! You've been cop off. heh."

- Getting a kill with the Ray Gun

"They were here, now they're not. Such is life in the...ah, fuck it."

- After an explosive kill.

"Explosives make things so much easier."

- After an explosive kill.

"BOOM! You are dead!"

- After an explosive kill.

"Have a round on me! Get it? Because... never mind, fuck you."

- Upon getting a headshot.

"I can barely see, but that sounded like it hit his head!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Right between the garza!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Either i'm good or i'm drunk. I hit two zombies with one bullet!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Your misery has ended, comrade."

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Die AGAIN, hellpig!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Never mess with a Russian when drinks are on the line!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Somehow, have good aim!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Poor russian lost his head."

- Upon getting a headshot.

"My aim is straight. My vision is blurry."

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Don't slip in the slime!"

- Upon killing a Crawler Zombie.

"What's that smell? Maybe I sharted."

- Upon killing a Gas/Crawler zombie

"DIE slime thing, DIE! DIE!"

- Upon killing a Gas/Crawler zombie

"You got slime on my uniform!"

- Upon killing a Gas/Crawler Zombie.

"*sniffs* Ugh, that smells disgusting, like my fourth wife. She pretty though.. pretty and smelly, weird combo."

- Upon killing a Gas/ Crawler Zombie.

"Like the fist of Stalin... up your ass."

- Upon getting a kill with the Thundergun.

"Feel the might of the Red Army!"

- Upon getting a kill with the Thundergun.

"Nikolai cannot die! Hey, that rhymes!"

- After a knife kill.

"Die, demon hell-pigs!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Hey, you left your arm behind!"

- After destroying a zombie's limb.

"From Russia with great affection!"

- After killing a zombie, a reference to the movie From Russia with Love.

"Oh, you grovel, but you still cannot have any vodka!"

- After killing a zombie.

"It pains me to kill you again, comrade."

- Upon getting a kill on a legless/footless zombie.

"That one isn't a problem anymore."

- Upon getting a kill on a legless/footless zombie.

"If only I had time to piss on you too."

- Upon getting a kill on a legless/footless zombie.

"Die, you filthy creature!"

- Upon getting a kill on a legless/footless zombie.

"Stand up and say that to my face!"

- Upon getting a kill on a legless/footless zombie.

"Screw all of you!"

- Upon getting a kill with the Monkey Bomb.

"I think the zombies hate you monkey!"

- Upon getting a kill with the Monkey Bomb.

"I can't believe that works."

- Upon getting a kill with the Monkey Bomb.

"I knew that monkey was good for something."

- Upon getting a kill with the Monkey Bomb.

"Good! That song was driving me nuts."

- Upon getting a kill with the Monkey Bomb.

Being hit by a Zombie
"OW! My shins!"

- When getting attacked by a crawler.

"What was that? Oh, crawler!"

- When getting attacked by a crawler.

"Stay off my boots, hellpig!"

- When getting attacked by a crawler.

"Stop scratching me!"

- When getting attacked by a crawler.

"Get off of me, swine."

- When getting attacked by a crawler.

"Die, Satan's minions!"

- When getting attacked by a zombie.

"I like it rough, but not that rough."

- When getting attacked by a zombie.

"You know how to say "owned" in Russian? OWNT!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"No it's my vodka! MINE! MY OWN!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"No touchie! ...I have issue."

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"So you're dead now! But you were dead before! Ah, fuck you!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"You see what happens when you touch Nikolai?!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

Hellhound
"Come play "Fetch the Grenade", demon-spawn!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Come suka, I have vodka for you."

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"They're trying to fetch our souls again!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"You don't want my soul, it probably tastes like vodka. Mmm... vodka."

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Die, helldog!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"Woof. Woof. Die, demon-spawn!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"Down, suka!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound. (suka Translates to Bitch in russian)

"No soul for you!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"*spits* Ugh...it got fur in my mouth"

- Killing a Hellhound

Down or revived
"I have made mess in trousers..."

- When downed.

"Well, maybe I have time for drink."

- When downed.

"Do not leave me to the maggots!"

- When downed.

"Oh, I feel stupid..."

- When downed.

"Come back! Nikolai can still fight!"

- When downed.

"Wha-what? I was only taking a nap!"

- After being revived.

"You see what happened to me, there were thousands!"

- After being revived.

"All right, all right, I'll get up all ready, sheesh..... like mother."

- After being revived.

"What? Break-time's over now?"

- After being revived.

"How do you say... "thank you" in Idiot?"

- After being revived.

Ammo
"Getting low on ammunition!"

- When low on ammo.

"Running low on ammo! I'm drunk..."

- When low ammo.

"Greedy capitalist dogs! Give me ammo!"

- When low of ammo

"Why am I always needing more ammo?"

- When low of ammo.

"If I don't find ammo, I'll have to kill them with my breath!"

- When low of ammo.

"It's that clicking again! Oh, ammo!"

- When out of ammo.

"Hey, where is all the ammo at?"

- When out of ammo.

"I'm out of ammo! Maybe I should just drink instead... piss on someone..."

- When out of ammo.

"When did I run out of ammo?"

- When out of ammo.

"Why is no one caring about my lack of ammo?"

- When out of ammo.

Buying off weapons off the wall
"Holding this up makes my arms so tired!"

- After getting a sniper from the Mystery Box

"Hey, snipers may wear diapers, but we get all the ladies."

- Upon buying an M14 off the wall.

"Great! I can camp now! I hate moving around so much..."

- Upon buying an M14

"Alright, who else want to try and take me?"

- After buying any SMG off the wall.

"Come baby...we do the 59, eh? He he..."

- After buying any SMG from the wall.

"This is "nice and light"..."

- After buying any SMG off the wall.

"This will make demon-holes nicely!"

- After buying any SMG from the wall.

"A shotgun, now I just need a shot glass! He he!"

- After buying an Olympia off the wall.

"Please, I have no job!"

- When attempt to buy a weapon without requisite points.

"Such strength, such craftsmanship. Must be made in Motherland!"

- -When buying the Bowie Knife

Power-up
"Just what the doctor ordered!"

- Upon receiving a "Max-Ammo" power-up.

"Why am I so heavy now?"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"This is proper socialist reform!"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"It is happy hour!"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"Vodka for everybody!"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"Capitalists...if you can't beat them...you know..."

- Upon getting a Fire-Sale power-up

"Salut!"

- Upon getting the Nuke power-up

"What's happening? That music sucks."

- Upon getting a Fire Sale power-up.

"Nikolai is coming for you!"

- Upon getting an Insta-Kill power-up.

"I drink to the nuclear bomb!"

- Upon getting the Nuke power-up

"I drink to the nuclear bomb!"

- Upon getting a Nuke.

"Thank you!... disembodied girl voice!"

- Upon getting the Carpenter power-up.

"Great, I don't have to do anything!"

- Upon getting the Carpenter power-up.

Perk-a-Cola
"I think Dempsey is right. It is a bit fishy."

- Upon drinking Quick Revive.

"Reach for vodka tooooniiiiggghhht..."

- Upon drinking Jugger-nog.

"Why can I see so clearly now?"

- Upon drinking Speed Cola.

"My tap is doubled, but not my vodka."

- When Double Tap Root Beer is bought.

Pack-a-Punch
"Uhh, this is like standing in grocery line!"

- While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"This better be good... cost enough!"

- While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"Don't worry guys! Nikolai is coming for you!"

- After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"Oh, I like, it's pretty!"

- After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"Such power, so smooth! And this upgraded weapon is nice too..."

- Upon receiving a Pack-A-Punched weapon.

"Hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry... come on!"

- Putting a gun in the Pack-A-Punch machine

Mystery Box
"I've got ninety-nine problems, but a gun ain't one, da!"

- After getting an Assault Rifle from Mystery Box. A reference to "99 Problems", a song by Jay-Z.

"I love this effing gun! Get it? FN? Just like... fuck!"

- After getting a FN FAL from Mystery Box.

"Snipers may wear diapers, but they get all the ladies!"

- After getting a sniper rifle from Mystery Box (also said after buying an M14).

"Hello beautiful, I'll 'cock' you gently."

- After getting a gun from Mystery Box. Also said when buying an M14 off the wall.

"I never met an MG I didn't like"

- Upon getting an SMG from the Mystery Box

"Why? Why do you treat me like this?"

- After getting a Python from Mystery Box.

"Come box, share with me your treasures, not your junk!"

- After getting a CZ75 from Mystery Box.

"Ah, two pistols are better than one! And one pistol is better than... what?"

- After getting a Dual-Wielded CZ75 from Mystery Box.

"I will be able to take them out gangsta' style now!"

- After getting a Dual Wielded CZ75 from Mystery Box.

"Either I'm drunk, or I'm holding two weapons!"

- Said after getting a Dual-Wield CZ75 from the Mystery Box.

"This makes Nikolai very happy, like first date! ...I bring home flowers!"

- After getting a China Lake from Mystery Box.

"I drank so much, I moved to the future!"

- After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box.

"Such power... Such pride! It must be Russian made!"

- Upon receiving the Thundergun

"Hello Ray. Would you like to taste my vodka?"

- After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box.

"This looks like it comes from space, no?"

- After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box

"First it takes my money, then it disappears... just like my fourth wife!"

- After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"This little girl and her games. It's a sign of bad parenting."

- After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Does anyone else hear that or is it just me?"

- After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Either I'm drunk or that box is flying around?"

- After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Why is noone tried nailing this down?!"

- After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Oh well, maybe I'll just sit here and nap."

- When trying to use Mystery Box without requisite points.

"Fuck you, monkey!"

- After receiving a Monkey Bomb.

"I hate those fucking Monkeys."

- When getting the Monkey Bomb from Mystery Box

"No, Monkey, you may not have any vodka."

- After getting a Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box.

"This must be vodka power."

- Nikolai after obtain Thundergun from box.

"What?! That stripper must have stolen my money!"

- Trying to use the Mystery Box without enough points

"Oh, it's the effin' falawful!"

- Upon recieving the FN FAL from the Mystery Box.

Interactive
'''"Oorah, Dempsey!"

- When Dempsey gets a headshot '''

'''"That was a shot deserving a toast."

- When Dempsey gets a headshot '''

'''"Good shooting, Tank. Next wife, I call you."

- When Dempsey gets a headshot '''

'''"Maybe,I give you a small taste of vodka someday. Someday."

- When Dempsey gets a headshot '''

'''"Back, hellpigs!"

- When Dempsey is swarmed '''

'''"On my way, Dempsey, but you owe me some vodka in return!"

- When Dempsey is swarmed '''

'''"Why are you not sharing, you fucking capitalist?!"

- When Dempsey is swarmed '''

'''"Dempsey is surrounded!"

- When Dempsey is swarmed '''

'''"Dempsey, maybe try giving 'em something and then, they go away!"

- When Dempsey is swarmed '''

'''"Nice shot Dempsey! But you missed a little bit."

- When Dempsey makes a crawler '''

'''"Watch for the crawler, Dempsey!"

- When Dempsey makes a crawler '''

'''"There is a crawler on the loose!"

- When Dempsey makes a crawler '''

'''"Dempsey, you made a crawler."

- When Dempsey makes a crawler '''

'''"He's not altogether dead yet, Dempsey."

- When Dempsey makes a crawler '''

'''"Dempsey, watch out for that evil monkey! He freak me out."

- When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"Watch out, Dempsey. It bites!"

- When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"Dempsey and monkey sitting in a tree. K I L L I N G. I spelled it right, right?"

- When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb. '''

'''"Set him loose, so it dies!"

- When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb. '''

'''"I like your monkey, Dempsey. But, not that little monster."

- When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb. '''

'''"So what, Takeo?"

- When Takeo gets a headshot '''

'''"I'll come to your rescue, but only because you owe me from last time!"

- When Takeo is swarmed '''

'''"Try killing it next time, Takeo!"

- When Takeo makes a crawler '''

'''"Maybe the evil monkey will eat YOU, Takeo!"

- When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb '''

Other
"What! I did something?"

- Upon getting a Xbox 360 achievement/Playstation 3 Trophy.

"The film must've been shit, this place is full of stiffs!"

- Upon turning on the power.

"Why do they insist on picking on me?"

- While being being chased by a swarm of zombies

"Perfect, I shall piss in style here!"

- Upon entering the bathroom in first floor.

"Another dark alley, I know this well."

- Upon gaining access to the alley.

"Dempsey, I think you left your blush!"

- Upon gaining access to the dressing room.

"This place looks like my first apartment. Just less blood."

- Upon gaining access to the foyer.

"Oh I found a rock, great."

- After finding the first piece of the meteor.

"I found another rock... but no vodka!"

- After finding the second piece of the meteor.

"Here's the last piece. What do I win."

- After finding the third/last piece of the meteor.

"I admire your aim Tank, but not your sobriety."

- Rarely said when playing splitscreen and player 1 gets multiple headshots.

"Well, they do say the screen puts on ten pounds."

- After examining his portrait.

"Hey Dempsey! I think they got your bad side!"

- After examining Dempsey's portrait.

"I hate you, Takeo."

- After examining Takeo's portrait.

"Richtofen looks a little younger in this painting."

- After examining Richtofen's portrait.

"Hey! Someone stole the image from this picture!"

- After examining the blacked-out portrait.

"Richtofen, your children are becoming annoying!"

- Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"Oh, look! Our Mighty Warrior surrounded again!"

- Upon seeing Takeo chased by a swarm of Zombies.

Beginning
"We need to bring light to this dark place."

- At the beginning.

"There seems to be no power!"

- At the beginning.

"There is no power now! Perhaps there never was."

- At the beginning.

"We should go find the power box."

- At the beginning.

Cut Quotes
"This will make for a fun time!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"I will SHOCK them into submission!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"I finally get the turn...with the Wunderwaffe."

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"BEHOLD! The Electric Katana!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"It is on now freakbags!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box (quoting Dempsey)

Killing a Zombie
"Shi-Ne!"

- Upon getting a kill. "Shi-Ne" means "die" in Japanese.

"My honor is bigger than yours!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"You die with no honor!"

- After a knife kill.

"Takeo one, Zombie zero!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Pew pew pew, ha ha ha."

- Upon getting a kill with Ray Gun.

"With the force of one thousand wombats YOU DIE!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Ugh, that thing couldn't possibly have been human!"

- Upon killing a gas zombie.

"Smells like rotten sushi!"

- Upon killing a gas zombie.

"Hyah!"

- Upon getting a knife kill

Being hit by a Zombie
"You kill me? No! I kill you!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"Not on this day, tormented soul!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"You had an unhappy ending! Ha ha ha!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"You lack focus!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

Hellhound
"I fear no dog!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Die, demon-spawn!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

Downed or revived
"This is not how I wish to die!"

- When downed

"This is without reason!"

- When downed

"I have fallen into darkness!"

- While downed

"Your karma has approved"

- After being revived

Ammo
"Need more ammunition!"

- When low ammo

"A true warrior needs no weapon!"

- When out of ammo.

"I have no ammo. I have no honor."

- When out of ammo.

"I will crush them with my bare hands!"

- When out of ammo.

"I am still better off with the Arisaka."

- When out of ammo.

Buying off weapons off the wall
"I will fire honor at them mightily!"

- After buying an SMG off the wall.

"I will show them the path!"

- After buying an SMG off the wall.

"I need more honor!"

- When trying to buy a weapon without requisite points.

"This weapon is lighter than a feather, but twice as deadly."

- After buying an SMG off of the wall.

"One by one, I shall curse them from afar!"

- After buying the M14 off of the wall.

Power-ups
"Double the honor!"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"You will feel the power in my veins!"

- Upon getting an Insta-Kill power-up.

"Quick, kill as many as you can!"

- Upon getting a Carpenter power-up

"That will keep them out for a thousand years... eh, a few seconds."

- Upon getting a Carpenter power-up.

"Let the light of a thousand suns purify your souls!"

- Upon getting a Nuke.

"Destruction rains on the unholy!"

- Upon getting a Nuke.

"...Nice timing!"

- Upon getting a Nuke.

Perk-a-Colas
"Hmm, a drink that requires a... mature palette."

- Upon drinking Quick Revive.

"Speed Cola speed up your might!"

- Upon drinking Speed Cola.

"I am fast shooting Eastern cowboy!"

- Upon drinking Double Tap Root Beer.

"Ahhh. This water is a pure delight!"

- Upon drinking Juggernog.

Pack-a-Punch
"This will make a weapon that will honor my ancestors."

- After putting a weapon inside the Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"A weapon is an extension of ones ownself."

- After taking a newly upgraded weapon out of the Pack-a-Punch.

"Much better"

- Receiving a weapon from the Pack a Punch Machine

Mystery Box
"I cannot be defeated!...Probably..."

- After getting an AUG from Mystery Box.

"I will turn them into red mist!"

- After getting a G11 from Mystery Box.

"Light as a feather, and twice as deadly!"

- After getting a Spectre from Mystery Box.

"I will steal what honor they have left!"

- After getting a L96A1 from Mystery Box.

"This does not suit a warrior!"

- After getting a Python from Mystery Box.

"A worthless weapon, from an honor-less box!"

- After getting a CZ75 from Mystery Box.

"This gun fires pure honor!"

- After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box.

"I have acquired the Thundergun!"

- After getting a Thundergun from Mystery Box.

"*chuckling* The Emperor would be amused!"

- After getting a Monkey Bomb from Mystery Box.

"I am not yet ready for the ways of the box."

- When attempting to use the Mystery Box without requisite points.

Interactive
'''"Your aim has pleased the Emperor!"

- When Richtofen gets a headshot '''

'''"That was good shooting, doctor!"

- When Richtofen gets a headshot '''

'''"Oh! They stand no chance against you!"

- When Richtofen gets a headshot '''

'''"Oh! Amazing shot!"

- When Richtofen gets a headshot '''

'''"You shoot like Samurai!"

- When Richtofen gets a headshot '''

'''"Richtofen is surrounded!"

- When Richtofen is swarmed '''

'''"We're coming to help, Richtofen!"

- When Richtofen is swarmed '''

'''"The doctor could use some assistance!"

- When Richtofen is swarmed '''

'''"On our way, doctor!"

- When Richtofen is swarmed '''

'''"Coming, Richtofen!"

- When Richtofen is swarmed '''

'''"Saving some for later?"

- When Richtofen makes a crawler '''

'''"I see you kept a bit of it alive."

- When Richtofen makes a crawler '''

'''"I think you made a crawler."

- When Richtofen makes a crawler '''

'''"Some of it still lives!"

- When Richtofen makes a crawler '''

'''"Crawler, on its way!"

- When Richtofen makes a crawler '''

'''"Did you make that too, doctor?"

- When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"You are honered by the presence of the monkey."

- When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"You have been blessed by the Emperor."

- When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"Richtofen found the monkey."

- When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"Hurry up and use it!"

- When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"You have lucky number, Russian pig!"

- When Nikolai gets a headshot '''

'''"That was not your shot, but your breath!"

- When Nikolai gets a headshot '''

'''"The sight of you made its head explode!"

- When Nikolai gets a headshot '''

'''"If you shoot 1000 bullets, you hit maybe one time!"

- When Nikolai gets a headshot '''

'''"They fall before your ugliness!"

- When Nikolai gets a headshot '''

'''"Poor Russian."

- When Nikolai is swarmed '''

'''"I'll be there someday, Nikolai!"

- When Nikolai is swarmed '''

'''"If you would shoot instead of taking shots, maybe that not happen!"

- When Nikolai is swarmed '''

'''"Just breathe on them!"

- When Nikolai is swarmed '''

'''"Oh! I thought you were one of them!"

- When Nikolai is swarmed '''

'''"Of course you didn't kill it all!"

- When Nikolai makes a crawler '''

'''"(Mockingly) Oh, he must be attracted to you!"

- When Nikolai makes a crawler '''

'''"They want to kill you, Nikolai...maybe can't blame them!"

- When Nikolai makes a crawler '''

'''"Maybe they find you irritating."

- When Nikolai makes a crawler '''

'''"Looks like you missed a bit."

- When Nikolai makes a crawler '''

'''"Nothing like making friends, Nikolai, eh?"

- When Nikolai makes a crawler '''

'''"Maybe it will wind YOU up, Russian!"

- When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"The monkey is better at killing zombies than you!"

- When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"Look out, Nikolai! It's watching you!"

- When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"Its loud cymbals give you a headache, huh?"

- When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"I bet that monkey hates you."

- When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb '''

Other
"Oh!... Sounds like a big monster is attacking the building."

- After turning on the electricity. A reference to the film, "Godzilla".

"I found a piece of the meteor!"

- After found the first piece of the meteor.

"I found another piece of the meteor! Maybe they stole this from Japan!"

- Finding the second piece of the meteor. A reference to the meteor at Shi No Numa.

"I have found a grand secret!"

- Upon activating the "115" song easter egg.

"A picture of a great warrior!"

- After examining his portrait.

"Here is a picture of an ugly American! Eugh!"

- After examining Dempsey's portrait.

"The Russian is so drunk, I can smell his breath through this portrait!"

- After examining Nikolai's portrait.

"Perhaps what once was, is no more, but shall be again!"

- When examining the blacked out portrait.

"Honor to the doctor!"

- After examining Richtofen's portrait.

Beginning
"Oh joy! No power!"

- At the beginning.

"*impatiently* Ja, ja, the power needs to be turned on."

- At the beginning

"I cannot torture my minions without power... Dempsey, you go turn it on."

- At the beginning.

"Power power power power! It's always the first priority!"

- At the beginning.

"There is no power, how suspicious... or obvious!"

- At the beginning.

Cut Quotes
"I have been recognized by Treyar... the Illuminati!"

- When earning an achievement (refers to Treyarch).

"OHHHH! The Wunderwaffe DG-2! (slighty cries) I missed you!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"This will be the SHOCK!....of a lifetime...(giggles)"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"Oh, the element of POWER!!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"Can it be the DG-3? The DG-3 that's just for me?"

- When receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-3 JZ from the Pack-a-Punch machine.

Killing a Zombie
"I smell the delicate flesh, ja..."

- When Richtofen kills a large number of zombies

"Stay below me, hundewurst!"

- When killing a crawler that attacked him.

"Did you feel it? Oh I hope you did..."

- Upon getting a kill.

"Yes, COME TO ME, minions!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"I take your pain, I put my straw in it, *slurping noises* AND I DRINK IT UP!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"It hurts, doesn't it? GOOD!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"The life has been sucked out of that one"

- Upon getting a kill

"Aaaand... he is no longer with us"

- Upon getting an explosive kill

"Ah, it smells so wunderbar!"

- After a knife kill.

"No more Doctor Nice Guy!"

- After a knife kill.

"THE BLOOD! THE BEAUTIFUL BLOOD!"

- After a knife kill.

"Tiny little organ parts for everybody!"

- Killing a zombie with explosives.

"Oh, the lovely blood!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"How can I hear the screams when it has no mouth?"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Oh, the showers of the damned!"

- After an explosive kill.

"*sings* Fountains of sorrow..."

- After an explosive kill.

"Yes, YES, explode!"

- After an explosive kill.

"That's so... humerus. *laughs*"

- After dismembering a zombie with an explosive. 'Humerus' is the name for a bone in the arm, making it a play on words.

"Ooh, he just went splat!"

- Upon getting a kill with Olympia.

"Where did it go? I don't know! Do you?"

- Upon getting a kill with Ray Gun.

"Do you like my glowing green balls?"

- Getting a kill with the Ray Gun

"Poof! You are gone!"

- Getting a kill with the Ray Gun

"He's become random bits of joy!"

- Getting a kill with the Ray Gun

"The powers of nature at my fingertips!"

- Upon getting a kill with the Thundergun.

"Zey will all flatten LIKE PANCAKES!"

- When Richtofen kills multiple zombies with the Thundergun/Zeus Cannon

"They have all gone mad, we must help them!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"This is MY creation! And I will destroy it! AND clean it up!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Ja, ja... DIE!!!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Don't be afraid of death, be afraid of THE DOCTOR!!!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Squishy squishy little bug."

- Upon killing a gas zombie

"Now there is pus everywhere."

- Upon killing a gas zombie

"No, no! You're not supposed to fall apart like that!"

- After dismembering a zombie

"He cannot fight now, he's been... disarmed. *laughs*"

- After shooting off a zombie's arm.

"Look at it, crawling to me!"

- After destroying a zombie's leg.

"It has no legs, but still moves. Interesting."

- After destroying a zombie's leg.

"Dempsey, if you had a brain cell for every time you had a headshot... you'd only be stupid."

- After achieving multiple headshots in a row.

Being hit by a Zombie
"I can smell my own blood! FEAR ME!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"Get off my legs, minion!"

- When getting attacked by a crawler.

"How DARE you touch the doctor?"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"LEAVE ME BE!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"Don't touch the doctor!"

- Upon being attacked by a zombie.

"No touching the doctor, unless he asks..."

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"DIE!"

- When attacked by a crawler.

"It's tearing my schins! Delicious!"

- When attacked by a crawler.

Hellhound
"Aww, the poor puppies!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"NEIN! NOT THE PUPPIES!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round. (Nein is German for No).

"What have you done to the POOR PUPPIES?!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Aah, I don't like it when they lick me!"

- After killing a hellhound.

"Mommy told me not to hurt animals any more!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Go back to Maxis, Samantha!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"My poor little accidents... STAY AWAY!"

- At the start of a Hellhound round

Downed or revived
"IT TICKLES! IT TICKLES! I KNEW IT, IT TICKLES!"

- When downed.

"IT CANNOT BE! I'M DOWN!"

- When downed.

"No, no. I am not ready for hell, I don't even have my good shoes."

- When downed.

"I'll get you something nice when this is over."

- After being revived.

"I am ALIVE!!!"

- After being revived

"Did the voices tell you to save me?"

- After being revived.

"Ja, danke!"

- After being revived.

"The Doctor needs a nurse!"

- When downed.

Ammo
"Low on ammo!"

- When low on ammo.

"How can I be running out of ammo?!"

- When low ammo

"Without bullets I will have to resort to... STABBING!"

- When out of ammo.

"I need to find some ammunition... *wailing*"

- When out of ammo.

"No ammo is no fun!"

- When out of ammo.

"I have no ammunition."

- When out of ammo.

"No rounds, no wounds, NO JOY!"

- When out of ammo.

Buying weapons off the wall
"Yes, now their kidneys will be all MINE! And none for you, Dempsey."

- After buying a M14 off the wall.

"What? The voices are louder!"

- Upon buying a MP5K off the wall.

"Oh, this is just so heavy!"

- Buying M14 off the wall

"An MP40! Wunderbar!"

- Upon buying a MP40 off the wall.

"Yes, my children, I am coming!"

- Upon buying an Olympia off the wall.

"Of course they still have the BEST WEAPON EVER MADE HERE!"

- Buying MP40 off the wall.

"An autopsy is more easily performed with a shotgun."

- Upon buying a Stakeout or Olympia off the wall.

"The Doctor is well-armed!"

- After buying a SMG off the wall

"What?! I am nothing but a peasant!"

- When attempting to buy a weapon without requisite points.

Power-ups
"A gift from Sam? But why?!"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"More time to play with my pretty ones!"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"Ammo to the max, ja?"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"Attention shoppers, we have a special... on death!"

- Upon getting a Fire Sale power-up.

"MORE SCORE!"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"I am paid for pain!"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"This must be the work of the Masons."

- Upon getting a Carpenter power-up.

"I feel THE POWER!"

- Upon getting a Insta-Kill power-up.

"They seem to have all gone boom!"

- Upon getting a nuke

"The flames... of the damned!"

- Upon getting a Nuke.

"I get paid double for my effort!"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

Perk-a-Colas
"Yes! She sounds like a sweet little specimen."

- Upon drinking Jugger-nog.

"For the revival of the un-fittest!"

- Upon drinking Quick Revive.

"I can't be sure but I think the active ingredient rots your mind."

- Upon drinking Speed Cola.

Pack-a-Punch
"*whistling*"

- While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"I'm going to kill SOOO many now."

- After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"The Doctor is ready for war now!"

- After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"The Fatherland would be so proud! It's so emotional..."

- After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"Tic, toc, tic, toc, oh this takes so long!"

- While waiting on the Pack-a-Punch Machine

"Such German ingenuity!"

- While waiting on the Pack-a-Punch Machine.

Mystery Box
"I like the funny sound it makes!"

- After receiving the FN FAL, Ray Gun, or the Galil from the Mystery Box.

"They will submit to darkness... YES!"

- After getting a HK21 from Mystery Box.

"I can kill more than one at a time!"

- After getting a sniper rifle from the Mystery Box.

"Ugh, this is just so... heavy."

- After getting a sniper rifle from the Mystery Box.

"Ja, this make a big hole! I like it..."

- After getting a SPAS-12 from Mystery Box.

"They will be all over the walls! And the ceiling! And the floor!"

- After getting an explosive weapon from the Mystery Box.

"Could it be? The DG-3!"

- After getting a Thundergun from Mystery Box.

"Could this be the DG-3, the DG-3 that is just for me?"

- After getting a Thundergun from Mystery Box.

"So THIS is what Maxis was keeping from me!"

- After getting a Thundergun from Mystery Box.

"I will please you now... THE VOICES!"

- After getting a SPAS-12 or China Lake from the Mystery Box

"Samantha, I talked to you about this."

- After getting a Teddy Bear from Mystery Box.

"Maybe you move it... because you like me?"

- After the Mystery Box teleports

"RATATATATATATAT!!"

- Upon receiving a sub-machinegun from the Mystery Box

"Why do they love you so much, little monkey?"

- After receiving the Monkey Bomb from the Mystic Box

"The amazing monkey of POWER!"

- Said after getting a Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box.

"Joy!"

- After getting a Ray Gun

Interactive
'''"Ah, das ist good, Nikolai!"

- When Nikolai gets a headshot (Das ist is "that is" in German) '''

'''"You take the Illuminati up on their offer, no?"

- When Nikolai gets a headshot '''

'''"Straight shooting from a drunk Russian. How quaint."

- When Nikolai gets a headshot '''

'''"Excellent shooting, Nikolai!"

- When Nikolai gets a headshot '''

'''"Perhaps aim at Dempsey next time."

- When Nikolai gets a headshot '''

'''"I'll buy you some vodka!"

- When Nikolai gets a headshot '''

'''"Don't worry Nikolai, I will probably not let them hurt you."

- When Nikolai is swarmed '''

'''"Back, minions! Stay away from his vodka!"

- When Nikolai gets swarmed '''

'''"I will help you, Russian!"

- When Nikolai gets swarmed '''

'''"The doctor is on his way!"

- When Nikolai gets swarmed '''

'''"Nikolai needs our help!"

- When Nikolai gets swarmed '''

'''"Crawlers, they make such cute noises!"

- When Nikolai makes a crawler '''

'''"Nikolai, you've made me a new present!"

- When Nikolai makes a crawler '''

'''"Thank you so much for your gift, Nikolai!"

- When Nikolai makes a crawler '''

'''"He looks so cute and happy!"

- When Nikolai makes a crawler '''

'''"(High-pitched) A little crawling minion...(Angrily) I WANT ONE!"

- When Nikolai makes a crawler '''

'''"Fuzzy fuzzy, was a monkey!"

- When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"Give him drink, Nikolai, and send him on his way!"

- When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"He causes so much sorrow, Nikolai!"

- When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"Oh, joy for Nikolai!"

- When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"Do you hear him talking to you, Nikolai?"

- When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"If I could bottle up your luck, I could make a lot of money, Dempsey."

- When Dempsey gets a headshot '''

'''"Dempsey, you marrow sucking...freakbag, is it?"

- When Dempsey gets a headshot '''

'''"Why don't you just shut your ignorant hole, Dempsey! And your mouth!"

- When Dempsey gets a headshot '''

'''"Dempsey, if you had a brain cell for every headshot, you'd only be stupid!"

- When Dempsey gets a headshot '''

'''"No, Dempsey! I shot that one!"

- When Dempsey gets a headshot '''

'''"You deserve to die, Dempsey!"

- When Dempsey is swarmed '''

'''"I will help you, but only because I want to be the one to eat your heart!"

- When Dempsey is swarmed '''

'''"Dempsey is surrounded! JOY!"

- When Dempsey is swarmed '''

'''"(Tauntingly) Oh, look at the big, brave American soldier, needing help from the doctor!"

- When Dempsey is swarmed '''

'''"(Laughs) Dempsey's being tortured by my little friends."

- When Dempsey is swarmed '''

'''"One day, I will taste your tears, Dempsey."

- When Dempsey makes a crawler '''

'''"I hate you Dempsey. I even hate your eyes."

- When Dempsey makes a crawler '''

'''"Dempsey has made a crawler. Now everyone can do it."

- When Dempsey makes a crawler '''

'''"You have made them multiply. Maybe that's how YOU got here!"

- When Dempsey makes a crawler '''

'''"Dempsey, look at what you have done! *clicks tongue*"

- When Dempsey makes a crawler '''

'''"You are so annoying, Dempsey."

- When Dempsey makes a crawler '''

'''"Nein! Dempsey shouldn't be allowed to have this much fun!"

- When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"Oh, Dempsey, you are now my favorite."

- When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"You see the family resemblance, American."

- When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"Oh, how I hate you now, little monkey."

- When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"Not Dempsey! He doesn't deserve the fun!"

- When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb '''

Other
"Alas, the doctor is too poor to buy this..."

- When attempt to open a door without requisite points.

"Ah, the bathroom, not a very intersting place, unless you're German... LIKE ME!!!"

- Upon entering the bathroom at first floor.

"Doctor Maxis almost had his undead army if only he could have broken the trust barrier."

- Upon entering the dressing room.

"those seats, that screen, they wanted to implant the mind with instructions!"

- upon entering the theatre.

"an ally, how quaint."

- upon entering the alley.

"They are shaking down the roof, what a pity!"

- After the power is switched on.

"That doesn't sound good."

- After turning on the power.

"I found a piece of the meteor!"

- After found the first piece of the meteor.

"I found another rock! Maybe they stole this from Japan!"

- Finding the second piece of the meteor. Reference to the meteor in Shi No Numa

"I have found a magnificent tune!"

- Upon activating the "115" song easter-egg.

"Oh look, its me... but not quite as magnificent!"

- After examining his portrait.

"Hello Dempsey. Oh, wait, its just a portrait... AN UGLY ONE!"

- After examining Dempsey's portrait.

"It's eyes are following me!"

- After examining Nikolai's portrait.

"Oh, it's a picture of the Monkey Bomb!"

- After examining Takeo's portrait.

"This one did not photograph so well."

- After examining the blacked-out portrait.

Demonic announcer(Samantha Maxis)
"Fetch me their souls!!!" (Used at begining of Hellround)

"Kaboom!" (Used when Nuke is picked up)

"Carpenter!" (Used when Carpenter is picked up)

"Fire Sale!" (Used when Fire Sale is picked up)

"Max Ammo!" (Used when Max Ammo is picked up)

"Bye bye!" (When Teddy Bear appears in Mystery Box)

"Double points!" (Used when Double Points is picked up)

"Attention, Zombie shoppers! Time for a Fire Sale. Until the music stops, box rolls ten Dollars, at a convenient location near you! (evil laugh) (A longer version of the Fire Sale announcement, found in PC files)

Trivia

 * PC game files reveal recorded quotes from all four characters referring to the Wunderwaffe DG-2 and the Flamethrower (which isn't a standalone weapon in the game). It is unknown why either were removed. Many of these cut quotes can be heard in maps that feature these weapons.
 * Also, an extended version of the Fire sale cry was found, as seen above.
 * Sometimes, when playing as Richtofen on Solo, he will say a multiplayer quote that involves Tank Dempsey
 * The characters seem to confuse the M14, an assault rifle, for a sniper rifle based on many of these quotes.