Der Riese/Quotes

This article is a list of quotes, that characters recite from time to time, from the fourth Nazi Zombies map Der Riese.

Kills
"Now that's what I call blowing chunks!"

- After getting a headshot.

"Enough already!"

- After killing a zombie that recently hit him

"Bring it, freak bags!"

- Unknown, possibly random while killing zombies

"They're swarming! Look out!"

- Unknown, possibly random while fighting a large group of zombies

"Hi I'm Dempsey, and you are... DEAD!"

- After killing a zombie

"K.I.A., Maggot sack!"

- After killing a zombie

"Oorah! They're droppin' like bad habits!"

- After killing a zombie

"You meatheads too stupid to quit?"

- After killing a zombie

"Aww, look, I just saved everyone's knees, I'm a hero!"

- After killing a crawler

"I told you, I wasn't on the menu!"

- After killing a zombie that hit him

"Hey, we need a clean up in aisle 4!"

- After killing many zombies

"Just what we need, a cluttered battlefield."

- After killing many zombies

"Suck it!"

- After killing many zombies

"This just in, Dempsey is a fuckin' bad ass!"

- After killing many zombies

"I'm surrounded! Bring it mother-fuckers!"

- After being surrounded by zombies

"That was SWEET!"

- After a group of zombies get blown up

"Smells like Zom-B-Q!"

- After lighting a group of zombies on fire

"Can't touch this!"

- After knifing a zombie. (A reference to M.C. Hammer's U Can't Touch This)

"Eat it, gut bags!"

- After knifing a zombie

"Go eat someone else!"

- After knifing a zombie

"Slice and Dice baby!"

- After knifing a zombie with the Bowie Knife

"OWNED!"

- After knifing a zombie or getting a headshot at close range

"Hey! Someone needs to clean up those freak bits!"

- After getting a headshot, or blowing up many zombies

"I don't think it was using that anyway."

- After getting a headshot

"Yeah! I had my eyes closed that time!"

- After getting a headshot

"Didn't anyone tell you, I'm a crack shot!"

- After getting headshot from long range

"Freak-meat-bag-sackers!!!"

- After getting a kill streak

"I'll swim in your skin, maggot-whores!"

- After getting a knife streak

"Oorah, Oorah, Oorah, OORAH!"

- After getting a knife streak

"Awesome! Bzzzzt! BZZZZTTTT!!!"

- After getting multiple kills from the Wunderwaffe DG-2

"Everything burns!"

- After burning zombies with the M2 Flamethrower. Possibly a reference to the film "The Dark Knight". This line was said by the Joker.

"Shock and Awe!"

- After killing many zombies with the Wunderwaffe DG-3 JZ. A reference to the Call of Duty 4 campaign level

"I'm gonna miss that little guy."

- After a Monkey Bomb explodes

"Oorah, Monkey bones!"

- After a Monkey Bomb explodes

"Oorah, Slackjaw sauce comin' up!"

- After getting a automatic weapon

"See that little guy light 'em up!"

- After a Monkey Bomb explodes

"Bullets to the brain. Oorah."

- After getting a headshot

Weapons and Mystery Box
"Aww...isn't that so fucking cute?"

- After getting the Monkey Bomb

"I never win anything, except for WAR!"

- After not getting anything good from the box.

"Hey look, it's Richtofen's brother."

- After getting the Monkey Bomb

"Monkey see, monkey go blow some shit up."

- After getting the Monkey Bomb

"Time to gut these brainbags!"

- After getting the Bowie Knife

"Time to slice and dice!"

- After getting the Bowie Knife

"Oh yeah, now it's gonna get personal!"

- After getting the Bowie Knife

"L'eggo my Wonder Waffle!"

- After getting the Wunderwaffe DG-2. A reference to the company Kellogg's company slogan, "L'eggo My Eggo".

"Time to shock some meatbag ass!"

- After getting the Wunderwaffe DG-2

"Blowin' off limbs is one of my specialties!"

- After getting a shotgun

"Nothing says "I love you" quite like a shotgun."

- After getting a shotgun

"Get the marshmallows, I'll light the fire!"

- After getting the M2 Flamethrower

"Looks like Santa got my letter."

- After getting the Ray Gun

"Where's this thing keep 160 rounds?"

- After getting the Ray Gun

"You won't be laughing when I get through with you!"

- After getting the Teddy Bear out of the Mystery Box

"A big toy for a big boy!"

- After getting a machine gun

"*Crazed Laughter*"

- After getting a heavy weapon out of the Mystery Box

"Time to rip shit up!"

- After getting the MG42

"Gotta round up some rounds..."

- After being low on/having no ammunition

"I can't do my job if I ain't packin' heat!"

- After being low on/having no ammunition

"SHIT! Outta gun juice"

- After running out of ammunition.

"You laughing at me? Not wise."

- After getting the Teddy Bear

"They're going down. One. Limb. At a time."

- After getting the Shotgun

"Rat-a-tat-tat meat sacks!"

- After getting a heavy machine gun.

"Boiling zombie brains coming right up!"

- After getting the flamethrower.

"You undead punks feeling lucky?"

- After getting the .357 Magnum Revolver. A reference to Clint Eastwood in Dirty Harry

"Now I've got somethin' fun to bring to the party!"

- After getting an MG from the Mystery Box

"If I had a good weapon I'd blow this box up."

- After receiving the Molotov Cocktail from the Mystery Box

Power Ups
"JUUUIIICE!"

- After getting a Max Ammo power-up

"Much appreciated!"

- After getting a Max Ammo power-up

"Line 'em up!"

- After getting a Double Points power-up

"Rack 'em up!"

- After getting a Double Points power-up

"Oorah! (Demonic tone)"

- After getting the Carpenter power-up

"Oorah, devil man!"

- After getting the Carpenter power-up

"Dempsey's butcher shop is open for business!"

- After getting the Insta-Kill power-up

Perk-a-Cola, Pack-a-Punch, and Teleporters
"I wonder how we can get to that..."

- After approaching the unopened Pack-a-Punch Machine

"Mmm, Pack-a-Punch. Must be named after me!"

- After approaching the Pack-a-Punch Machine

"Pack-a-punch. Reminds me of a sweet chick I knew once! Heh heh."

- After approaching the Pack-a-Punch Machine

"This machine belongs in AWESOMETOWN!"

- After approaching the Pack-a-Punch Machine

"This German shit is slower than a freakbag tied to a tree!"

- After using the Pack-a-Punch Machine

"Gotta link up this terra..er, tele... bah... machine."

- After approaching a deactivated Teleporter

"Where's that mainframe again?"

- After approaching a deactivated Teleporter

"Anybody ever hear of a "Die Glocke"?"

- After approaching a Teleporter

"I think Richtofen knows more about what's going on than it seems..."

- After approaching a Teleporter

"Yah! I'm always into Jugg-a-nog [sic]."

- After getting Juggernog

"Livin' the fast life, that's the way I roll."

- After getting Speed Cola

"Yeah, I'm real thirsty partner..."

- After drinking Double Tap Root Beer

"I fucking HATE fish!"

- After drinking the Quick Revive Soda

"*singing* I'll be drinking Jugg-er-nog tonight and uh *stops singing* I can totally get inside that chick."

- Randomly, mostly when upgrading a weapon

"I'm makin' some freak-meat stew! Who wants some?"

- After taking an upgraded weapon in the Pack-a-Punch Machine

"That's what I need... more fucking firepower!"

- After taking an upgraded weapon in the Pack-a-Punch Machine

"Oorah Pack a Punch! Where's that dead meat?"

- After taking an upgraded weapon in the Pack-a-Punch Machine

Interactive
"Poor Richtofen! Surrounded by his own creations!"

- After Richtofen is downed

"Hey Richtofen! Are you having a family reunion?"

- After witnessing Richtofen getting swarmed

"Richtofen's surrounded. Poor little Kraut."

- After witnessing Richtofen getting swarmed

"Couldn't live without me, huh?"

- After being revived

"I must have slipped, oorah."

- After being revived

Other
"Let's get this done..."

- Unknown, possibly when starting a game

"Imagine that! We need to turn the power on; how original!"

- Starting a game

"Ah, shit, here come the dogs!"

- Before a Hellhound round starts

"Shouldn't you guys be on a leash?"

- Before a Hellhound round starts

"When I find your master, I'm kicking his ass!"

- Before a Hellhound round starts

"*sigh* These Wonder-Waffles [sic], Ray Guns, teleporters, Die Glockes, uhh, whatever, let's just go kill some freak bags."

- Randomly

"Freakdogs! Bring it on!"

- Before a Hellhound round starts

"Richtofen, stop humping the monkey toy!"

- When Richtofen is about to throw the monkey bomb

Kills
"Even drunk, I am still too powerful for you."

- Randomly while killing a zombie

"FUCK YOU!"

- Randomly while killing a zombie

"Only man and wife should be so close!"

- After killing a zombie that has hit him

"And the limbs go flying! Hows that for an ARM-y?! Get it? With the arms? Fuck you."

- After dismembering a zombie's arm

"Look, I just made a new pet. I'll take it for a walk for about 5 minutes while the rest of you dick around."

- After approaching a crawling zombie (Reference to people using crawlers to buy time to do any necessary actions)

"Now we're BOTH legless!"

- After blowing a zombie's legs off.

"Zombies! We gotta move!"

- After being surrounded by zombies

"Die, Hell-pig!"

- After knifing a zombie

"Good, that fucking song was driving me nuts!"

- After a Monkey Bomb explodes

"Ha Ha, you just got fucked by a monkey!!"

- After a Monkey Bomb explodes

"*Grunt*...Did I just do that?"

- After getting a headshot

"This is a happy massacre!"

- After killing a large amount of zombies

Weapons and Mystery Box
"Those should be mine, you Japanese pig!"

- After witnessing Takeo get the monkey bomb.

"Death is inevitable, like hangovers, I know."

- When getting a shotgun

"Even I can hit something with this!"

- After getting the FG-42

"Same weapon I used to kill my second wife. It was accident!...She talked too much."

- After getting the PTRS-41 or the PPSh-41

"I had more powerful weapons on my pig farm!"

- After getting a Molotov Cocktail

"This will hurt like syphilis. Believe me, I know."

- After getting an automatic weapon (Syphilis is a sexually transmitted disease.)

"That's a big fucking knife!"

- After getting the Bowie knife

"Someone is not sharing their ammo..."

- After running low on/out of ammunition

"Don't make me fight with broken vodka bottle!"

- After running low on/out of ammunition

"Soviet war machine grind to halt without ammo!"

- After running low on/out of ammunition

"I have vodka, BUT NO FUCKING AMMO!"

- After running low on/out of ammunition

"I feel empty... SHIT! I AM EMPTY!"

- After running out of ammo

"In Russia, I kill bears TEN TIMES your size!"

- After getting a teddy bear

"Ha ha, you make funny joke..."

- After getting a teddy bear

"Cold, hard, Russian steel!"

- After receiving the Bowie Knife.

"Where is ammo? Nikolai is in deep shit!"

- When out of ammunition

"My first wife was more dangerous than this!"

- After obtaining a low power gun from the Mystery Box

Power-ups
"I just boarded all the windows. Don't help or anything."

- After getting a Carpenter power-up

"In Russia, I was carpenter, you know."

- After getting a Carpenter power-up

"I'll drink to that. Hell, I'll drink to anything."

- After getting Double Points.

"I've got the hammer. Go find me a sickle."

- After getting a Carpenter power-up (A reference to the Soviet insignia)

"Maybe I will share these points with State!"

- After getting a Double-Points power-up

"Points?! I'm trying to stay alive!"

- After getting a Double-Points power-up on later rounds

"Soviet supply routes... not this good."

- After getting the Max Ammo power-up.

Perk-a-cola, Pack-a-Punch, and Teleporter
"Wow, it's a distillery!...Oh, wait, it's just a teleporter."

- After approaching a deactivated Teleporter

"Now I have to run all the way back to the mainframe, so much fucking running."

- After activating a Teleporter

"If this were Russia, you wouldn't have to do all this. You would press ONE button, and it would work."

- After linking a Teleporter to the mainframe

"Ugh, I feel like I will throw up..."

- After using a Teleporter

"Balls, check. Vodka, check. Okay I'm good."

- After using a Teleporter

"Ugh, that vodka was terrible. Oh wait, I teleported!''""

- After using a Teleporter

"Why didn't they spend their money on a Vodka Transfer machine?"

- After linking a Teleporter to the mainframe

"Hello? Can someone open this door so I can get to the cool gadgets?"

- After approaching an unopened Pack-a-Punch Machine

"Pack-a-punch? Oh my God, I think it makes vodka"

- After approaching the Pack-a-Punch Machine

"Wow... I gotta take this back for the boss to see."

- After approaching the Pack-a-Punch Machine

"Urgh! That was worst vodka I ever taste."

- After getting Juggernaut

"Now that I have speed, maybe I can drink vodka between kills! Yeah?"

- After drinking Speed Cola

"Do I really want to help anyone else?"

- After buying Quick Revive

"Thank you, Comrade cowboy"

- After buying Double Tap Root Beer

Interactive
"Use it wisely Tank. Use it wisely."

- After Tank Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb

"That a new pet, American?"

- When Tank Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb or when he makes a crawler

"How come you always get the good guns, and I get the Colt?"

- After witnessing Tank Dempsey getting a good gun

"You're almost as brave as me, Dempsey."

- After witnessing Tank Dempsey running through a group of zombies

"You're killing them, I'm killing them. Even fucking Doc is killing them! Takeo?"

- Said randomly

"Did someone make joke?"

- After witnessing someone get the Teddy Bear

"I share your hatred for our stumpy nemesis-is-is...nemes-eye...uh, enemies."

- After hearing a remark about the Nazi Zombies

"Perhaps you are of use."

- After getting revived

"Looks like Takeo shit his pants again, heh heh."

- Nikolai after Takeo remarks about killing a lot of zombies.

"Oorah! The Marines Dempsey!""

- After Tank remarks about getting a large killstreak

"Right here with you Tank!""

- After Tank asks where everyone else is

Other
"I need a fucking perk. Let's go get the power back on."

- At the beginning of the game

"The air hangs heavy with stench of dog shit."

- At the start of a hellround

"I need more money first, why do we not share the points?"

- After trying to buy something without enough points

"What the hell are you doing here you dirty fucks?"

- At the beginning of the game

"I'm out of ammo! I'm going for a drink"

- When out of ammo

"You hurt me, I KILL you!"

- After killing a Zombie that just hit him

"Stay away from my Vodka!!!"

- At the beginning of the Hellhound round

"FUCK! They're between me and my vodka!"

- Randomly

Kills
"Ahh.. .a small weapon, very dangerous, just like me."

- After killing a zombie with an SMG

"The power of my ancestors runs through my veins"

- After killing a group of zombies

"One less appendage..."

- After gibbing a zombie

"I will not give up!"

- After being surrounded by Zombies

Weapons and Mystery Box
"This will hold them back for a while! Ha Ha Ha!"

- Planting Bouncing Betties

"Do not mock me, Bear."

- After getting the Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box

"Ah, the little warrior."

- After getting the Monkey Bomb

"Even a monkey is smarter than Nikolai."

- After getting the Monkey Bomb

"Tickles..."

- Rarely after getting damaged by the Wunderwaffe

"My gun is like Dempsey's head. Empty."

- Said when out of ammo

"Monkey, I choose you!"

- Receiving a Monkey Bomb from the Mystery box. A reference to Pokemon.

"Ohhh... Monkey Bomb!"

- After receiving the Monkey Bomb

"Monkey is image of Nikolai's wife! But prettier."

- After a player receives a monkey bomb, reference to Nikolai's family background.

"The main ingredient... a Zombie!"

- After getting the Bowie Knife

Power-ups
"Don't drop limb, drop power up..."

- After gibbing and killing a zombie without a power up dropping

"The killing can continue!"

- After receiving a max ammo power-up

"We have a chance to grow rich!"

- After receiving a Double Points power-up

"A good carpenter leaves no wood to be carved!"

- After using Carpenter

Perk-a-cola, Pack-a-Punch, Teleporter
"This weapon has honor!"

- After receiving a weapon from the Pack-a-Punch machine.

"Arigatou. (Japanese for "Thank you")"

- After receiving Perk-a-cola or using a teleporter.

"This will do very nicely... hehehe."

- After receiving a weapon from the Pack-a-Punch machine.

Interactive
"Where is Red Army now, eh?"

- Said when Nikolai gets downed

"Richtofen, I will not desert you!"

- After Richtofen is swarmed

"Monkey knows Nikolai can't survive without him."

- Said when Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb .

"My ancestors will have to wait for my arrival!"

- After being revived

Other
"Die you diseased dog!"

- At the start of a Hellhound round

"The spirits are toying with us."

- At the start of a Hellhound round

"I require more money."

- After trying to buy something without enough points

"An Eye for an Eye!"

- Randomly said when killing a zombie after being hit by said zombie.

"I am warrior!"

- Killing a large group of zombies

"I teach the animals, in the ways of death!"

- Beginning of a Hellhound round

"All will fall!"

- Said randomly, but usually when killing many zombies or getting a good gun from the Mystery Box.

"You dare touch me?!"

- After he is hit or when zombies get closer

Kills
"His head EXPLODED. SUCH JOY!"

- After getting a headshot or blowing a zombie's head off with a grenade.

"Do you know WHO I AM?!?!"

- After killing a zombie. Possibly a reference to him co-creating the zombies.

"Excuse me, do you have the time? AHAHAHAHAHA!''"

- After killing a zombie

"I long to bathe naked...in your blood!"

- After killing a zombie

"Rest in peace, my little undead friend."

- After killing a zombie

"Stumpy was rude to the doctor. Stumpy paid the price."

- After killing a zombie

"The Doctor prescribes you.... PAIN!!"

- After killing a zombie

"Who's your daddy?"

- After killing a zombie

"You are my child. Bastard child, but child nonetheless."

- After killing a zombie

"Doctor recommends AMPUTATION!"

- After gibbing a zombie

"So many body parts! I am in HEAVEN!!"

- After gibbing a zombie

"Ed wants your head!"

- After getting a headshot

"Now let's see you clap! Hahaha!"

- After shooting off a zombie's arm

"Take your medicine, Child"

- After getting a headshot

"You will not feed!"

- Killing a group of zombies, or getting a headshot

"This must be how Dempsey's mother must have felt when he was born!"

- After being surrounded by zombies

"Let us all have a sing-along for the corpses"

- After a Monkey Bomb explodes

"No more monkey sing-along for the cadavers."

- After a Monkey Bomb explodes

"Oh, my! It kills people! Brilliant!"

- After a Monkey Bomb explodes

"You cannot resist the power of the Wunderwaffe!"

- After getting several kills with the Wunderwaffe

"His head sends his apologies."

- After getting a head shot.

"Look at all the body parts. Some-one get me a bag!"

- After blowing up a group of zombies

Weapons and Mystery Box
"Excuse me, I have an apple to peel. AN ADAMS APPLE!"

- After purchasing the Bowie Knife

"Oh, it feels so good in my hands..."

- After getting the .357 Magnum

"Ooh, Wunderwaffe!"

- After getting multiple kills with the DG-2

"To kill quickly, ja! But with skill? No."

- After receiving an Automatic Weapon.

"So much lead, for ze dead! Ahah! I'm a poet, and I didn't know it, Ha!"

- After getting an Automatic or Shotgun out of the Mystery Box

"Ich bin... FUCKING ANGRY!"

- After getting Molotovs

"Maybe you move it because... you like me?"

- After getting the Teddy Bear in the Mystery Box

"Let Richtofen's carnival of horrors begin!"

- After getting the Monkey Bomb

"Ooh, a cute little monkey bomb for ze doctor"

- After getting the Monkey Bomb

"Play the cymbals of death, my little monkey friend."

- After getting the Monkey Bomb.

"I am useless!"

- After being low on/having no ammunition

"I need bullets to further my work!"

- After being low on/having no ammunition

"AMMO FOR ZE DOCTOR!""

- After being low on/out of ammo

"No ammo....? NOOOOOO!"

- After being low on/having no ammunition

"There is NOTHING left!"

- After being low on/having no ammunition

"Without any bullets there can be no bullet wounds!"

- After being low on/having no ammunition

"Aaaah, zis vil help me ad to my collection... OF APPENDAGES!"

- After purchasing Bowie Knife

"Under what reich is that fair?"

- After getting a Teddy Bear

"You could not put that simian in more trusted hands!"

- After receiving the Monkey Bomb

"Wunderbar!! Wunderwaffe, WUNDERBAR!!"

- Rarely heard, possibly when Richthofen receives the Wunderwaffe from the mystery box.

"Scheiße, meine veapon, Scheiße!!"

- When Richtofen runs out of ammo.

"Come my undead friends to the monkey carnival of horror........I made that up."

- When about to throw the monkey bomb.

Power-ups
"With a single strike, you DIE!"

- After getting Insta-Kill.

"This must work with Tele-Kinesis!"

- After getting Carpenter.

"Go to work, my minions!"

- After getting Carpenter.

"A hammer to bash their brains! Oh, the windows, right."

- Obtaining Carpenter.

"Do not guard the windows my friends. The doctor has it covered!"

- Obtaining Carpenter.

Perk-a-cola, Pack-a-Punch, and Teleporter
"Ahh, I love it. STAY AWAY THIS IS MINE!"

- After using the Pack-a-Punch Machine

"Attach part A to grommet B... Oh screw it, just press buttons!"

- After approaching a deactivated Teleporter

"Ahh it is still here! Err, I mean, what is this strange device?"

- After approaching a deactivated Teleporter

"Step one, activate teleporter. Step two, link it to the mainframe. Step three...matter transfer!"

- After activating a Teleporter

"If I remember correctly, we need to link it to the mainframe where we first started. Err, I mean, this is so confusing!"

- After activating a Teleporter

"If only Maxis were here to see this."

- After activating a Teleporter

"Max Ammo Machine?! What a wonderful idea!"

- After buying the Amm-O-Matic, an unseen Perk Machine programmed into Der Riese.

Interactive
"What's that Nikolai? You're scared and wish to run? OK!"

- To Nikolai

"Fascinating creatures, don't you think, Nikolai?"

- After Nikolai Belinski comments on the zombies

"Once again, Nikolai leads from the front."

- After Nikolai Belinski gets a kill

"Dempsey, I am not your babysitter."

- After Tank Dempsey gets downed

"Dempsey, when this is all over, I'm going to donate you to medical science."

- After Tank Dempsey says something

"Look! The missing link! And he's holding a monkey!"

- After witnessing Tank Dempsey getting the Monkey Bomb

"Aw nein. It seems sexy. Whatever."

- Richtofen

"Dempsey, I hate you with every cell of my body!"

- After Dempsey comments on himself

"You are head and shoulders above them Nikolai!"

- Richtofen to Nikolai.

""Dempsey, I hate you. I hate your ugly voice.""

- Edward Richtofen after Dempsey comments on himself.

"Patients my red friend, they will all perish under our might."

- To Nikolai

"Kick him over to me if you need help Russian!"

- To Nikolai

"For someone so drunk, you aim so well."

- To Nikolai

"Nikolai, you are like drunken sniper!"

- To Nikolai

"Nikolai would you like me to cram it down Dempsey's throat? I will if you like."

- To Nikolai

"I think a bear would have been more suited to you Russian."

- To Nikolai

"The Russian and the German, what a team!!"

- To Nikolai

"I nominate Dempsey as crawler bait, any objections?"

- Edward Richtofen

Other
"There is probably one big switch somewhere that powers EVERYTHING. We Germans are very efficient."

- At the beginning of the game.

"Fluffy? Is that you?"

- At beginning of a Hellhound round. Refers to Samantha's dog, Fluffy.

"I require more money!"

- After trying to buy something without enough money.

"This must be the Mainframe. It must need power."

- Starting a match

"Get off my boots!!"

- Killing a crawler

"Leave some for me!!"

- After seeing zombies killed.

"You know I really think this whole war thing could have been worked out over a nice little schnapps."

- Edward Richtofen

"Heeheeheee they cannot run from me now!!"

- Getting weapon

"Dunker, so good."

- Edward Richtofen

"Look at the red spray!!"

- Killing

"I am AROUSED!!"

- Edward Richtofen

Monkey Bomb
"Bye, bye, Zombies!"

- Before exploding

"Let's be friends!"

- While being primed

"Get ready for a surprise!"

- Before exploding

"Is this the end?"

- Before exploding

"Let's play again!"

- Before exploding

"I'm coming Sam!"

- Before exploding. This proves that Samantha Maxis is dead.

"You're not Sam..."

- While being primed

"Hello friend."

- While being primed

"Ow! Ooh! Ow!"

- After being thrown in the furnace

"You look friendly."

- While being primed

"I'm faulty."

- While being primed

"I'll miss you."

- Before exploding

"I hope we meet again!"

- Before exploding

"I love you."

- While being primed

"Hi! I'm Monkey. Wanna play?"

- While being primed

"I don't want to leave."

- Before exploding

"Here I come Sam!"

- Before Exploding, similar to the above quote, "I'm coming Sam!"

"I just crapped my pants!"

- Before Exploding

"Hello!"

- When Activating

"I'm Mr. Monkey"

- While being primed

Shared Quotes
"This looks powerful..."

- Nikolai

"Why don't you throw it at Richtofen?"

- Tank after Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb

"Where the hell is everybody?!"

- Dempsey

"Are you scared Dempsey? Do you want me to hold your hand?"

- Richtofen after Dempsey is swarmed.

"Ooh, a cute little monkey bomb for ze doctor!"

- Richtofen

"Richtofen, Quit humping the Monkey toy! Just creeps me out.''"

- Tank after Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb

"Hey Richtofen, there's quite a party down here"

- Dempsey

"Dempsey can you keep the noise down, some of us are trying to work!"

- Doctor Richtofen

"Having a family reunion Doc?"

- Dempsey

"Ah yes, family reunions can be so stressful."

- Richtofen after Dempsey makes the above comment

Demonic Announcer
"Ka-Boom!"

- After getting nuke power-up.

"Max Ammo!"

- After getting the Max Ammo power-up

"Insta-Kill!"

- After getting Insta-Kill

"Double Points."

- After getting Double Points

"Carpenter!"

- After getting the Carpenter power-up

"Bye Bye!"

- After getting Teddy Bear from the Mystery box

"FETCH ME THEIR SOULS!"

- When hellhounds appear (said in a much deeper voice than normal)

"[Demonic Laughter]"

- When the Teddy Bear appears

Samantha
"Uh Oh"

- When both hellhounds and power-ups spawn after teleporting.

"Uh-oh...NO TREATS FOR YOU!"

- When hellhounds spawn after teleporting, without any power-ups

"I want to play a game...let's play Hide & Seek!!"

- After activating the Fly Trap

"Oh, you found one..."

- After finding the first item of the Fly Trap

"Wow, you found another one."

- After finding the another item of the Fly Trap

"You win... GAME OVER!"

- After finding all the items of the Fly Trap

"Why are you so cruel to Mr. Monkey? Mr. Monkey just wanted to PLAY!."

- After completing the Monkey Bomb in the furnace Easter Egg (See Der Riese)

Der Riese Announcer
"Power Levels Critical...shutting down now."

- Starting of the Game (barely audible)

"Teleport Successful."

- After Teleporting

"Electric Defense Active"

- After Using the Electro-Shock Defenses

"Diverting power to bridge."

- After activating the Electro-Shock Defense at the bridge.

"You have 25 seconds to link to the main frame."

- After activating a teleporter

"Power re-established, re-link Teleporters"

- After the power is activated