User blog:Sal Renbar/Sgt. Frank Woods Is Actually Cpt. John "Soap" MacTavish

Woods was born in Japan. His mother was Viktor Reznov and his father was Dmitri Petrenkov. His brother is Thomas Edison, who died during Basic Training. He was a sissy.

After that day, Woods promised to avenge his brother by killing all the people named Lev Kravchenko. Not surprisingly, he does this (there is only one person in history with this name; luckily they lived at the same time). Woods then has nothing else to do so he jumps out a window and tries blowing himself up.

Not surprisingly, he does not die. So instead he signs up for the role of Sgt. Frank Woods in Black Ops II. And he makes the cut!! Then he becomes really old for the role and has to sit in a chair for the whole game while his double does all the 1980s gameplay.

The only ironic thing is that he dies and becomes Soap in Modern Warfare, Modern Warfare 2, and Modern Warfare 3. After being Soap and dying as Soap, he returns as Woods but really old and thus Black Ops II, just in case I wasn't clear enough in the last paragraph.

Proof, you ask? His name is Woods. No one is made of trees and no one is made of soap, therefore they must be the same. The end.