Kino der Toten/Quotes

Dempsey
"He just... He just blew all over the place! ·laughs· Wow!"

- Randomnly when killing zombies with the Thundergun/Zeus cannon

"That's the last leg you'll ever hump freak dog."

- When he kills a hellhound.

"Discounted killing! Oorah!"

- Upon getting a Fire Sale

"We need to turn the power on! It's like deja vu all over again."

- Start of a game

"No power, no glory."

- Start of a game

"Tastes like... fermented herring dipped in cat piss... ugh."

- Buying Quick Revive

"Okay, woah! That was bad-ass!"

- Firing the Thundergun

"NUUUUKE!"

- Getting a nuke

"Eat that ya undead flesh monkeys!"

- Getting a nuke

"Back off meatmouth!"

- When killing a zombie

"Stay dead cheesehead!"

- When killing a zombie

"Gotta give ya credit zombie, you got no quit in ya!"

- When killing a zombie.

"I found the hidden song, awesome."

- Upon activating the 115 song easter egg.

"I wonder if Richtofen has gears like that in his head."

- When using the Pack-a-Punch machine

"RE-JUICE!"

- Getting max ammo

"Knee deep in zombie shit with no ammo. Glorious."

- When out of ammo

"Whoo! More shit to kill with!"

- Getting Max Ammo

"Lets send those freakbags back to 1946!"

- Randomly said when killing zombies with the thundergun.

"Reach for me, Jugger-Girl...oo-rah."

- After getting Juggernog.

"Whatever...even a blind squirrel is right twice a day."

- After being revived.

"Monkey! So glad to see you again, buddy!"

- upon receiving a Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box.

"K to the I to the A Zombitch!"

- Randomly when killing zombies.

"Whoo-hoo!"

- Randomly when killing zombies.

"Stupid undead flesh monkeys! You're dead already!"

- After an explosive kill.

"A tale of two Dempseys, starts slow but has a happy ending."

- Upon examining his portrait.

"He's Portrait Bigger than Anyone else is.Must be trying to compensate for something."

- After pressing the action button on Richtofen's portrait

"Hey look! It's nobody!"

- After pressing the action button on the black figure's portrait

"Ah great, this again."

- When a hellround starts.

"Hey player! Drop the chips and get me some ammo!"

- When out of ammo

"Aww, what a cute little bundle of C4!"

- -Upon getting the monkey bomb.

"The only thing better than an M16 is, well, two M16s!"

- Upon buying an M16.

"Eat it ya nasty squag!"

- When killing a gas zombie with a headshot.

"If I keep this up I'm gonna run out of zombies!"

- Upon getting a string of headshots.

"Ahh Fuck me that smells!"

- After killing a Gas Zombie

"Awww, our little bundle of badass."

- After pressing the action button on Takeo's portrait

"Oh, looks like Nikolai has put on a few pounds. What's he been eatin'?"

- After pressing the action button on Nikolai's portrait

"Fuck you, Fido!"

- Said randomly after killing a Hellhound.

"Man I wish we could replace Richtofen with a hot chick, I'm getting lonely here."

- Said randomly when using the Pack-a-punch machine

"Little gun, Lot's of holes."

- Mostly said when buying a submachine gun.

Nikolai
"First you take my money and then you disappear..Kind of like my fourth wife!"

- Teddy Bear from box.

"Please, I have no job!"

- After attempting to buy without enough points

"What? That stripper must've stolen my money!"

- After attempting to buy without enough points

"Stay away from my vodka! ...What? It's a classic!"

- Blowing up a group of zombies with an explosive weapon.

"This makes Nikolai very happy, like first date! ...I bring home flowers!"

- Getting an explosive weapon out of the mystery box

"Hello Ray. Would you like to taste my vodka?"

- Ocassionally when getting the Ray Gun

"You are dead now! But you were dead before! Ahh fuck you!"

- Killing a zombie that recently injured him

"Have a round on me! Get it? A "round"?  Eh.. never mind, fuck you."

- Getting a headshot

"No it's my vodka! MINE! MY OWN!"

- Killing a zombie that recently injured him

"You know how to say owned in Russian? OWNT!"

- Killing a zombie that recently injured him

"No touchie! ...I have issues."

- Killing a zombie that recently injured him.

"I think Dempsey is right. It is a bit fishy"

- Buying Quick Revive

"What's that clicking? Oh, ammo!"

- Out of ammo.

"Out of my way Piz'da!"

- After killing a zombie (Note- Piz'da means 'Cunt' in Russian)

"This is like standing in grocery line!"

- Waiting for Pack-a-Punch.

"Snipers may wear diapers, but they get all the ladies!"

- Sometimes after getting M14 off the wall.

"That smells disgusting... Like my fourth wife. Smelly and pretty, weird combo."

- Said after killing a gas zombie.

"Oh, I like, it's pretty!"

- Receiving Pack-a-Punch weapon.

"Hello beautiful, I'll 'cock' you gently"

- Sometimes said after buying an M14 from the wall.

"Don't worry guys! Nikolai is coming for you!"

- Receiving weapon from Pack-a-Punch

"Who didn't pay the electric bill?"

- Said when game starts.

"You don't want my soul, it probably tastes like vodka. mmm... vodka."

- When a hellround starts.

"Do svidaniya, bitches!"

- After killing multiple zombies

"No power! Just like home."

- Start of a game.

"Why am I so heavy now?"

- after getting a Max Ammo

"They're trying to fetch our souls again!"

- at the start of a Hellround

"Holding this up makes my arms so tired!"

- upon purchasing the M14

"NO! NO VODKA FOR YOU!"

- random killing zombies

"You cannot even beat a drunk Soviet!"

- random killing zombies

"This is nice and light..."

- upon purchasing MPL

"Why is no-one caring about my lack of ammo?"

- no ammo

"Just what the doctor ordered!"

- on receiving a Max Ammo

"Oh, I feel stupid..."

- upon being downed/killed

"I'm out of ammo! Maybe I should just drink instead... piss on someone..."

- Out of ammo

"Wha-what? I was only taking a nap!"

- when revived

"How do you say... "Thank you" in Idiot?"

- when revived by Takeo

"You see what happened to me? There were thousands!"

- when revived

"Well, they say the camera puts on 10 pounds."

- When looking at his portrait.

"Hey Dempsey! I think they got your bad side!"

- When looking at Dempsey's portrait

"Richtofen looks a little younger in this picture"

- When looking at Richtofen's portrait

"I hate you, Takeo."

- When looking at Takeo's portrait

"Hey! Someone took the picture!"

- When looking at the blank portrait

"I have made mess in trousers."

- Upon getting downed/killed

"Reach for vodka tooooniiiiggghhht..."

- Upon getting Juggernog

"Die, before Nikolai! Hey, that rhymes!"

- After getting a kill while Insta-Kill is active.

"Oh baby... we do the 69, eh? He he..."

- Upon getting an SMG

"Out of my way, suka!"

- Upon killing a hellhound(note that suka means bitch in Russian.

"All right, all right, I'll get up all ready, sheesh..."

- After being revived.

"This little girl and her games. It's a sign of bad parenting."

- After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Hey, what's that? Oh, crawler!"

- Being attacked by a crawling zombie.

"Ah, two pistols are better than one! And one pistol is better than... what?"

- Getting dual pistols from the mystery box.

"The Fist of Stalin... up your ass"

- Random when Killing Zombies

"I hate this FN gun! Get it? 'Cause it's...eh, nevermind.""

- After taking the FN FAL from the Mystery Box.

Takeo
"We need to bring light to this dark place."

- Start of a game

""Double the honor""

- When getting the double points power up

"*chuckling* The Emperor would be amused!"

- Getting the monkey bomb

"Oh!... Sounds like a big monster is atacking the building."

- After turning on the electricity

"With the force of one thousand wombats you die!"

- random

"I will show them the path!"

- Getting the MPL

"Here is a picture of an ugly American! Eugh!"

- Upon examining Dempsey's portrait.

"A picture of a great warrior!"

- Upon examining his portrait.

"Honour to the doctor!"

- Upon examining Richtofen's portrait

"The Russian is so drunk, I can smell his breath through this portrait!"

- Upon examining Nikolai's portrait

"I need more honor!"

- Attempting to open a door/buy a weapon without enough points

"Hmm, a drink that requires a... mature palette"

- Buying Quick Revive

"I have no ammo. I have no honor."

- When out of ammo.

"That will keep them out for a thousand years... eh, a few seconds."

- Takeo after getting the Carpenter power up.

"I cannot be defeated!...probably.."

- Getting a random weapon

"You kill me? No! I kill you."

- Killing a zombie that recently injured him.

"You had an unhappy ending! Ha ha ha!"

- Killing a zombie that recently injured him.

"This gun fires pure honor"

- Upon getting the Ray Gun

"Not on this day, tormented soul!"

- Killing a zombie that recently injured him

"This does not suit a warrior!"

- Upon getting the python

"A worthless weapon, from an honourless box!"

- Upon getting the python from the Mystery Box

"I have found a grand secret!"

- Upon activating the 115 song easter egg

"Let the light of a thousand suns purify your souls!"

- Getting a nuke

"...Nice timing!"

- Said when someone gets a nuke that destroys all zombies on the map, ending the round.

"A true warrior needs no weapon!"

- Out of ammo

"I will fire honor at them mightily!"

- Buying an SMG off the wall

"My honor is bigger than yours!"

- random

"Takeo one, Zombie zero!"

- After Headshot

"Pew pew pew, ha ha ha."

- After killing zombies with the Ray Gun

Richtofen
"I take your pain and I put in my straw in it *slurping noises* and I drink it up!"

- After killing a group of zombies.

"What? The voices are louder!"

- Buying a weapon

"Dempsey. I hate you. I hate your ugly voice."

- Randomly when Dempsey talks.

"A gift from Sam? But why?!"

- Getting Max Ammo

"For the revival of the un-fittest!"

- Buying Quick Revive

"Blood! The beautiful BLOOD!"

- Randomly said when killing zombies.

"Did the voices tell you to save me?"

- After being revived.

"Without bullets I will have to resort to....STABBING!"

- After running out of ammo with any weapon

"My mother told me to stop hurting animals."

- After killing a hellhound

"Go back to Maxis, Samantha!"

- After killing a hellhound.

"Mommy told me not to hurt animals any more!"

- At the beginning of a hellhound round

"And, he is no longer with us."

- After killing a zombie.

"I need to find some ammunition... *wailing*"

- When out of ammo

"I am nothing but a peasant!"

- When attempting to buy something without enough points.

"Alas, the doctor is too poor to buy this..."

- When attempting to buy something without enough points

"Yes, now their kidneys will be all MINE! And none for you, Dempsey"

- When buying the M14

"He went "splat""

- When killing a zombie with the Olympia

"Yes, COME TO ME, minions!"

- Random

"Aww, the poor puppies!"

- During the beginning of a HellHound round

"They are hurting... we must help them!"

- Random

"Look at it, crawling to me!"

- After dismembering a zombie

"It has no legs, but still moves. Interesting."

- After dismembering a zombie

"Yes, YES, explode!"

- When killing a zombie with an explosive

"It hurts, doesn't it? GOOD!"

- When killing a zombie

"Oh, the showers of the damned!"

- When blowing up zombies

"*Whistling*"

- when waiting for the pack-a-punch machine

"I'm going to kill SOOOOO many now."

- When receiving a pack-a-punched weapon

"Attention shoppers, we have a special... on death!"

- Said when obtaining the Fire Sale.

"The flames... of the damned!"

- Getting a nuke

"How can I hear the screams when it has no mouth?"

- Occasionally after getting a headshot

"They will submit to darkness...YES!"

- After receiving an LMG

"Do you feel it? Oh I hope you did..."

- After killing a zombie

"Samantha, I talked to you about this."

- Said when a teddy bear is acquired in the mystery box

"This is MY creation! And I will destroy it! AND clean it up!"

- Multiple kills

"How can I be running out of ammo?!"

- When running low on ammo

"No ammo is no fun!"

- When out of ammo

"Yes, my children, I am coming!"

- Picking up the Olympia

"So THIS is what Maxis was keeping from me!"

- Getting a Thundergun

"They will be all over the walls! And the ceiling! And the floor!"

- Getting a Crossbow w/Explosive Bolts

"More time to play with my pretty ones!"

- When obtaining Max Ammo

"(impatiently)Ja, ja, ja, the power's off and we need to turn it back on."

- When game starts

"Ugh, this is just so... heavy."

- When buying the M14

"Get off my legs, minion!"

- When being attacked by a crawler

"Just DIE!"

- When being attacked by a crawler

"How DARE you touch the doctor?"

- When killing a zombie after being hit

"Oh joy! No power!"

- Game starting.

"Oh look, its me...but not quite as magnificent!"

- When looking at his Portrait

"Oh its a picture of the monkey bomb!"

- When looking at Takeo's Portrait

"Its eyes are following me!"

- When looking at Nikolai's Portrait

"Hello Dempsey..oh wait..its just a portrait...AN UGLY ONE!"

- When looking at Dempsey's Portrait

"This one did not photograph so well."

- When looking at the blank portrait.

"Could it be? The DG-3!"

- After getting the Thundergun from the Mystery Box.

"Could this be the DG-3, the DG-3 that is just for me?"

- Getting the Thundergun

"The Fatherland would be so proud! Such a shame......"

- After receiving a pack-a-punched weapon.

"I can kill more than one at a time!"

- Buying an M14.

"You remind me of patient 2-6... only with less noise when I stick things into you."

- Upon receiving the Monkey Bomb.

"All hail the Fuhrer...(singing)"

- Upon detonation of an explosive that killed a zombie.

"No more doctor nice guy!"

- Multikill

"No power! How suspicious...or OBVIOUS!!"

- After starting a match

"Ammo to the max ja?"

- After getting a Max Ammo

"I can smell my own blood! FEAR ME!"

- Randomly when hit by a zombie.

"I cannot torture my minions without power. Dempsey, you go turn it on."

- Starting a Game.

"Fountains of sorrow..."

- Said randomly.

"An opperation is best performed with a shotgun."

- After obtaining Stakout.