User blog:Punch2YourFace/Personal Situation

I would like to tell you guys about a ... small situation I had. Im tryin to get over it, but in the back of my mind I feel... as if Im missing something...

Keep this quote in mind as you read this. "Not after what you did..."

I love life... Its awesome how things turn out sometimes.Allow me to tell a story if you will...

About a guy whos relationship is going through a down part of the "Ups and Downs". This guy was workin 10 hour days everyday while his girlfreind stays at home. Now at the end of the day he wants to relax. But he cant relax. There are things to clean, dishes that need doing, cats gotta be fed and litter box needs cleaning. Just more stuff to put on top of the daily routine. Now after a couple months of doing said activities EVERY day, he decides to stop, see if it will provoke his GF to take up some initiative, do some cleaning around the house, clean her cats litter box. After a month and a half of this she becomes kinda distant. Chattin on the computer and Xbox to other people more. Then comes out one day and asks, "Im going insane with your attitude, you come home and play video games all the time and you dont pay any attention to ME. I wanna get out of here before I kill some one. Would you be against me going to Florida to see a freind of my mother for a couple weeks?"

Naturally I was curious, "Why do you wanna go down there?"

"So I can figure out what I wanna do with my life. Try to get it in order. I need to figure shit out for me"

"Well, if thats what you want, but why cant you do that here?"

"Cause I just need to get away and figure shit out"

This is where I get suspisious. Shes been talkin to my freind Shane, Who is in Florida, on the Xbox alot lately. When ever me and our freind Vito tell a joke or bust on him for somethin, she would defend him to no end. She would listen to the song "Im in love with my best freinds boyfreind" and all these things clicked in my head to match up. None the less she had her mind set to go there. And a freind of hers paid for her Airplane ticket.

Now she claimed she was going for a couple weeks or so, and yet she packed up EVERY last thing she had, even the cat. and I drove her down to JFK from upstate NY. Costs me $100 in gas both ways. We stop by to see her sister and she gives her some money, and its off to the airport. On the way to the Airport I get in a jam and avoid an accident by swerving into an EZPass lane.(Idont have EZPass). I pay the toll and get a ticket for going through the EZPass lane.

We get to the Airport and the cat carrier is too big. So I bought her a smaller one to carry on. Im tryin so hard not to cry thinkin deep down shes not coming back. I watch her go to the ticket guy and I turned and left. I was so upset my freind had to drive us back. When we got home I jumped on her Video website to talk to her. She seemed fine and said she was enjoyin the warmer weather. The next day I talked to her a bit before I went to work then did my routine. Came home and talked to her some more. She made me promise I wouldnt look for another woman while she was away. Of coarse I laughed at that cause theres no one else Id rather be with. That night at midnight was her Bday. I thought Id get on and say Happy Bday and all that. I went into her chat room and noticed... things about the room she was in. Then it hit me... thats all Shanes stuff. Immidiately I told Vito to look at the screen to see if he recognizes anything and just at that momnet, Shane walked past the screen...

I type in the chat "this is great"

And my GFs eyes got really really wide, and she frantically turned off the camera.

Now Im heartbroken. She did leave me, and for my best freind of 13 years. Now I call my freinds phone and when he answers I say one line:

"Hey, tell my girl freind happy birthday asshole." then I hung up.

She calls me back explaining that she was down there and he was online and she wanted to hang out with a freind. And he told me "Were like brothers, you should know I would never do anything like that to you."

My instincts suggest otherwise but I beleive them both. And pass the thought on. A few weeks later, I go to play a game, and I just happen to check her status on xbox and she was on 5 hours ago. And strangely enough, shane was on 5 hours ago. Again my instincts are kickin in, but I dismissed them whole heartedly. Another week goes by, I check her status, and she was playin a game I know she didnt have, but a game Shane had. Yet again I am fearin the worst. but try to calm myself. I confront Vito about my suspisions, and to some extend he agreed. I tell the guys I work with and they casually joke at me "Ha your gf is with your best freind" just bustin my balls.

Shes been gone for 3 weeks. Im edgy thinkin terrible things, I read her notebooks she forgot to take, I read all the painfull messeges she wrote about me not spending enough time with her, for playin games too much. It hurt me so badly to read this and know the pain I have caused. So for 3 weeks I cried myself to sleep thinking that she was with my best freind... knowing I pushed her away.

Then one day I get a message from her sayin she wants to come home for a couple weeks, but I wouldhave to buy her ticket. No problem ! Shes coming home for a bit. I was so happy for that. So I booked her a round trip giving us 2 weeks. Then the next day she tells me the Cat cant stay there cause it got into a scuffle with another cat there. My first thought was "Shanes got cats". But I dismissed the thought and rebooked the ticket for pets. I booked the ticked 2 weeks in advance and got the insurance on it. She calls me from the Airport there by way of a strangers phone and says, "they wont let us on the plane". They wouldnt let about 6 poeple get on the plane cause they werent there 15 mins prior. they were there 12 minuters prior and these poeple got to watch there plane sit for 20 before taxiing out. I was pissed. Luckily she got a connecting flight from Orlando to JFK to Syracuse.

When she got to Syracuse I was sooo happy to see her. I made her a sign so she could see me right away. it was cute. Then we went down to the baggage claim and got her stuff. While we are waiting for the guy she took my phone and was gonna let shane know she got home safely. (He took her to the airport down there.) But when she called him... she walked a good distance away from me. Now I thought it was perhaps she wanted to hear better, but she was close to other poeple talkin loud. So again, my instincts were off the wall...

Now we are on our way home when she tells me some rather bad news. While she was down there, she was partying with freinds, got drunk, and woke up with no clothes on. And she told me she was "late".

Instantly I was pissed and wanted to go fuck this guy up. But she said she was scared and was gonna get an abortion if need be. Thats big concidering shes %100 against it. So I left a note on my facebook saying "If I ever meet you, Ill kill you"

Well, sure enough Shane seen my message and inquired about it. So I told him what she told me and he acted like he was taken aback. So I went on with my day. When she got on, Shane IMed her.

She asked me "You told Shane what I told you?"

I said "Yeah"

She said Great now I have to explain this to him, so we fabricated a story that I miss understood her or what not"

Now I was kinda confused about the story were gonna tell, so I asked if I could read their convo so I know I got it right, but she wouldnt let me. Instincts***

The next day she was sleeping and her phone was sittin on the dest. So I flip through her pics and low and behold, a pic of Shane. And a close pic at that. To me it looked like one of those pics when a girl is layin next to you, sits up and takes a close personal photo of you.

Im out raged at this point. I make it her phones back ground with the banner "Why do you have this??"

I leave the house thinkin if maybe Im making a mistake by thinkin what I was thinkin. So I go back, and I pull up her messenger and pull up shanes name. I say "Hey" pretending to be her.

My intent was to get him to respond and tell him "Travis knows about us" but he never replied.

So I get nosey and loop hole my way into her emails...

From as far back as 2 months I read the conversations of my girlfreind and Shane. I read the last one first of coarse.

It was a casual conversationat first... until I get into the real deal.

Her   "hey I wanted to talk to you"


 * Well just so you know, Im late

him***   period??

"yeah..."


 * well it cant be mine, we werent together for more than a month, and I pulled out each time"

(right now Im crying... this situation would accept suicide)


 * well that doesnt always work     her


 * well how do you know its not his? (meaning mine)


 * cause we havent had sex in a couple months and youre the only one I was with down there

(ok now I read the rest and was ... for lack of a better word... upset.)

So I stand up and look at her sleeping, she has no idea how much she just killed me. Her and my best freind. My instincts were right all along, and I refused to beleive it. I pulkled the blanket off her and abrutly told her "You fucked shane"

She sat up and I could see the shock in her eyes.Instant regret, the fear of what I might do to her, or myself. She said shell have her sister come get her in the morning and shell go home.

This is the woman I love. Even with 2 knives in my back I still love her. I told her "I just have one question for you, and I want the truth... Do you want to be with me?"

I could see the tears in her swollen eyes run down to her shirt and she sayd yes.

I told her she was home and I dont want her to go anywhere. As for as I was concerned she was home and thats where she belongs. I told her that I didnt wanna be without her.

Now when I got my suspiosions when I seen them both on 5 hours ago on xbox, I called Shanes X and asked if she knew anything about his relationship status. She did know.

After this whole thing broke out I talked to her again and told her that my GF came back from FL. Well she let me know "Shanes gf just left him to get back with her BF".. then his X was "holy fuck no way..." I cant lie to her... I assured her accuracy.

Now shes like what a scumbag. Now she doesnt like him.

I finally call Shane and tell him I know everything. He tells me "I only wanted to help your relationship"

And that he didnt intend for anything that happened.

So he said he was sorry and I forgave him. I know how it went down. I wasnt giving her the attention she wanted, he did, they liked each other a lil bit, then alot, then more than enough.

I forgave him and all that and though, move on, let it be the past. Well... its coming up on his Bday, I asked him if he was gonna come home for it and he told me "nope"

but the next day his X tells me, Hes home now and he wants to get back with her even though shes with some one.

So she shot him down and said she knew bout what He did behind my back. He from what I know said that she shouldnt trust my side of the story.

Well I tell yuo this because he was playin a game and I though Id jump in it and play with a freind. Well... he quit and I asked why he didnt wanna play with me... he said:

"Not after what you did..."

Now, I didnt do anything.

His texts were "for the record I never liked your GF. I was just tryin to show you she doesnt care who shes with. I dont know what she told you but I never loved her"

Mine were *****"Well I read all your convos. I seen you say it. I seen the heart you made with your initials in it. I seen the groupie comments and the desire to get her down there"


 * when you wanna stop lying to me let me know k buddy"

"Haha you deleted me off xbox LOL, hey tell your gf thanks for ruining our freindship, but then again its your choice right? buddy?"


 * yeah well, I didnt do anything, you fucked over my relationship, made me misserable, and when I seen her at your place you lied to me. YOU fucked our freindship. If you wanted to prove anything to me you would done it then"

"If I recall, she came down here I didnt spend a dime on that skank but somehow Im gettin all the blame so thanks a lot, I see13 years as freinds gets broke by one slut"


 * youre right, not even on a condom eh. Guess the risk of disease and a baby werent too bad. and you were really excited when you learned she was going down there to be with you"


 * I deleted yo cause its apperent you dont wanna be my freind, you dont wanna play games with me, its been 5 months and you never invite me to partys and what not

"Cause youre a dick for telling everyone u god damn asshole! I didnt tell anyone but you told EVERYONE! why would I!?"


 * I didnt tell anyone


 * ok then. Im gonna go let everyone know so... fuck you. I tried to forgive you and I didnt tell any one straight up. MJ figured it out when I told her Chrissy came back.


 * this was after you told MJ that a girl used you to make her relationship with her BF better

"Look man your gf came to ME ask HER why she came down here and leave me alone thanx :] "


 * I can do that for you anda. you still want your scotch glass?"

"Nope you can keep it as a reminder that me and u knew each other for longer than you and your gf and you threw it way for that stupid skanky slut"

"STOP FUCKIN TEXTING ME BYE"

Now... I fucked up our freindship!?!?

I think its pretty fuckin histerical that hes taking our 13 years of freindship into account NOW that he doesnt have her.

Did I really do somethin wrong...?

Should I feel as bad as I do...?

He said I told everyone... I figured... Ill tell you guys as well. I dont mean to burden anyone with my bulshit. But I feel like I need outside perspectives...