User blog:Kid With The Baseball Bat/Top Five Worst Call of Duty Zombies Maps

So after my "Top Five Best Call of Duty Zombies Maps", I wanted to create the antithesis of that blog post and create this one, the "Top Five Worst Call of Duty Zombies Maps". As a reminder, these are just my opinion and I'm not saying yours are wrong. So without further ado let's begin this Top Five.

Number Five "Five"
At number five we have "Five" (haha I did it Ultimate94ninja). Set in the Pentagon, "Five" has the players play as the likes of John F. Kennedy, Robert McNamara, Richard Nixon, and Fidel Castro. With these two things combined, it makes the map sound like a fun little lampoon of the game mode, but instead, we get one of the most annoying zombies map in existence. Each area is just a recycled location from the Campaign (much like Nacht der Untoten and Verrückt), very lazy if you ask me. The map itself is excessively close-quarters, zombie spawn points are almost everywhere, and the box spawns are terrible. Crawler Zombies while not bad in Kino der Toten, are completely obnoxious in this map, and the Pentagon Thief is just a way for the game to cheat the players, instead of a fair threat. And last but not least, the teleporters on this map are awful. You can't predict where they'll take you because every destination is random, and because of the poor choice of areas, each destination is terrible. In the end "Five" is an awful map, but as bad as this one is, the next four maps are on a whole different level of bullshit.

Number Four Call of the Dead
Call of the Dead was released as a part of Escalation, the second DLC Map Pack for Call of Duty: Black Ops. The map is set on a Group 935 outpost located on a snowy Siberian Island with a large ship collided next to it. The players play as the likes of Sarah Michelle Gellar, Robert Englund, Danny Trejo, and Michael Rooker, with the main boss zombie being the late George A. Romero (aka the "Godfather of Zombies"). Much like "Five" all of this sounds like a fun send-up of Zombies, but once again it's another rollercoaster of bullshit. While the map is not as close-quarters as "Five", zombies still can come from everywhere, from a shit ton of barriers to the ground, and the outside of the map itself, this map has it all when it comes to zombie spawn points. The box spawns are awful, with only two good ones being the front of the ship and lighthouse. The Juggernog location is an unnecessary jog from point a to point b and the randomized Pack-a-Punch Machine doesn't work for this map, especially considering how terrible the spawns are, as they are all located in the water, which can freeze and slow down the player. George A. Romero as a boss zombie is annoying, period. His health is ridiculously high, if the player attacks or even touches him, he'll go berserk forcing you to bring him back to the water in order to calm him down. There's also one area of the map that features a shack and a slope that'll take you back to the side of the lighthouse, I feel this area was unneeded, sure it contains Speed Cola, Stamin-Up, a Radio, and a Beacon, but those could've easily been placed somewhere else. Overall Call of the Dead is a map that may sound like fun, but in reality is a map that's much weaker than its predecessors (especially one predecessor in particular).

Number Three Buried
Call of Duty: Black Ops II was no stranger to having awful zombie maps, and Buried was no exception. Released as part of the Vengeance DLC Map Pack, Buried concluded Jimmy Zielinski's series of zombie maps, and what a disappointment it was. The biggest issue of this map is how easy it can be. There are various new and returning mechanics in this map that the players can take advantage and make the map much easier than it should be, erasing any form of a challenge, making it boring even faster. These mechanics include but are probably not limited to; having The Giant lock the Mystery Box so it never moves (which can be good as the other box locations are garbage), being able to activate the power switch on Round One, being able to get Juggernog on Round One, the Paralyzer can allow the players to skip the work of getting to certain areas making it less satisfying, if you have an excessive amount of money in your bank you can buy anything (especially the Pack-a-Punch Machine on Round Fucking One), and there are several out of map glitch spots that can make you invincible. There are probably more I left out, but you get the point, it can get too easy. The Ghosts are a joke, sure their ability to steal your points suck, but once you learn to approach the mansion slower (which is easy to do by the way) they aren't much of a threat anymore. And to finish it off, this map is a huge step down from the healthy progress Mob of the Dead made, this most likely because they had two different leads behind them. So Buried was a disappointing send off to Jimmy Zielinski's zombie maps, but these next two maps take the bee's knees in poor quality.

Number Two TranZit
In the eyes of the community, this is easily the worst zombies map of all time, and while I'll agree it's one big clusterfuck, I think it's more worthy of second place on this list. TranZit is included with Call of Duty: Black Ops II (isn't that just great), and is set after the events of Moon, introducing the highly forgettable Victis crew. There is no single biggest issue for this map as there are multiple of them. For starters the bus, while a cool idea on paper, in execution, it's very poor. Most of the traveling is relegated to the bus and zombies can easily break in, it's the only alternative to traveling on foot, which brings me to my next problem with this map. Traveling on foot is annoying as hell with the fog and Denizens trying to tear the flesh off your head. Building the power switch, Pack-a-Punch Machine, and new wonder weapon, is one of the most criminal sins this map possesses. The lava is obnoxious, box and perk locations are terrible considering how large this map is, and the Avogadro is more of a nuisance than an actual meaningful threat. TranZit is hated for good reasons, but this isn't number one because at least this map along with the others on this list felt like they had some order to them, but this next one is nothing but pure utter chaos.

Number One Nuketown Zombies
Nuketown Zombies is the worst Call of Duty zombies map of all time, hands down. As mentioned it's pure utter chaos, because of the fact almost everything is unpredictable. The Perk-a-Cola and Pack-a-Punch Machines always spawn at complete random, which can be a huge problem when you need something like Juggernog, Speed Cola, or a Pack-a-Punched firearm, and while sure Quick Revive is always guaranteed to drop in at Round One on solo, that's not nearly enough (obviously), and not to mention the perk and pack spawns are very bad in general. The box spawns while more predictable are still very bad, much like the perks and Pack-a-Punch, as they're always next to a zombie spawn point. The layout is terrible, and certain areas are way too close-quarters, making them death traps. Not only can this map be obnoxious and frustrating, it also can be very boring too. Also, the easter egg song is just the loading screen song from Moon. Overall this map is extremely awful, and is by far the worst zombies map of all time, making it number one on my list.

Zetsubou No Shima
Zetsubou No Shima is one of Jason Blundell's weaker efforts, and one of the weaker maps in Call of Duty: Black Ops III. From the long and annoying setup to the terrible new enemy types. This map falls short, unlike its two predecessors. The reason why it's only a dishonorable mention is that I find this map more enjoyable than the ones that made it on the list.

Conclusion
So that was my list. Let me know what you guys thought in the comments below, and tell me what's your top five worst zombies maps. Goodbye!