User:Crazy sam10/Discord's Story

It all started when our adventure-loving...adventurer, Fluttershy, woke up in a lemur-infested moor. It was the fourth time it had happened. Feeling scarcely concerned, Fluttershy slapped a gerbil, thinking it would make her feel better (but as usual, it did not). Just as zero people expected she realized that her beloved element of harmony was missing! Immediately she called her enemy in training, Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy had known Rainbow Dash for (plus or minus) one million years, the majority of which were flamboyant ones. Rainbow Dash was unique. She was clever though sometimes a little... dimwitted. Fluttershy called her anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Rainbow Dash picked up to a very unhappy Fluttershy. Rainbow Dash calmly assured her that most spotted wolf hamsters sneeze before mating, yet Indonesian devil cats usually scandalously panic *after* mating. She had no idea what that meant; she was only concerned with distracting Fluttershy. Why was Rainbow Dash trying to distract Fluttershy? Because she had snuck out from Fluttershy's with the element of harmony only five days prior. It was a striking little element of harmony... how could she resist?

It didn't take long before Fluttershy got back to the subject at hand: her element of harmony. Rainbow Dash shuddered. Relunctantly, Rainbow Dash invited her over, assuring her they'd find the element of harmony. Fluttershy grabbed her canoe and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Rainbow Dash realized that she was in trouble. She had to find a place to hide the element of harmony and she had to do it aggressively. She figured that if Fluttershy took the rice rocket, she had take at least five minutes before Fluttershy would get there. But if she took the Chariot? Then Rainbow Dash would be abundantly screwed.

Before she could come up with any reasonable ideas, Rainbow Dash was interrupted by eight pestering parasprotes that were lured by her element of harmony. Rainbow Dash cringed; 'Not again', she thought. Feeling angered, she fearlessly reached for her banana and aimlessly groped every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the fanstic pumpkin patch, squealing with discontent. She exhaled with relief. That's when she heard the Chariot rolling up. It was Fluttershy.

As she pulled up, she felt a sense of urgency. She had had to make an unscheduled stop at Jim's House of Wings to pick up a 12-pack of wolverines, so she knew she was running late. With a heroic leap, Fluttershy was out of the Chariot and went charismatically jaunting toward Rainbow Dash's front door. Meanwhile inside, Rainbow Dash was panicking. Not thinking, she tossed the element of harmony into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind her hammock. Rainbow Dash was pleased but at least the element of harmony was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' Rainbow Dash wildly purred. With a careful push, Fluttershy opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some abrasive social outcast in a gas-guzzling, ecology-destroying, tankish SUV,' she lied. 'It's fine,' Rainbow Dash assured her. Fluttershy took a seat conveniently far from where Rainbow Dash had hidden the element of harmony. Rainbow Dash grimaced trying unsuccessfully to hide her nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' she blurted. But Fluttershy was distracted. A few freaknasty minutes later, Rainbow Dash noticed a pestering look on Fluttershy's face. Fluttershy slowly opened her mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

Rainbow Dash felt a stabbing pain in her love handle when Fluttershy asked this. In a moment of disbelief, she realized that she had hidden the element of harmony right by her oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on Fluttershy's face. She turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's dangerous oil-soaked rags from when she used to have pet legless puppies. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Fluttershy nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Rainbow Dash could react, Fluttershy aggressively lunged toward the box and opened it. The element of harmony was plainly in view.

Fluttershy stared at Rainbow Dash for what what must've been two seconds. A few freaknasty minutes later, Rainbow Dash groped earnestly in Fluttershy's direction, clearly desperate. Fluttershy grabbed the element of harmony and bolted for the door. It was locked. Rainbow Dash let out a enticing chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Fluttershy,' she rebuked. Rainbow Dash always had been a little funny-smelling, so Fluttershy knew that reconciliation was not an option; she needed to escape before Rainbow Dash did something crazy, like... start chucking ripened avocados at her or something. With fist clenched and teeth gnashed, she gripped her element of harmony tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

Rainbow Dash looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Fluttershy. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame eight days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly she felt a tinge of concern for Fluttershy. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Rainbow Dash walked over to the window and looked down. Fluttershy was gone.

Just yonder, Fluttershy was struggling to make her way through the secret vineyard behind Rainbow Dash's place. Fluttershy had severely hurt her shin during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral parasprotes suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the element of harmony. One by one they latched on to Fluttershy. Already weakened from her injury, Fluttershy yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing she saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of parasprotes running off with her element of harmony.

But then God came down with His ingenious smile and restored Fluttershy's element of harmony. Feeling angered, God smote the parasprotes for their injustice. Then He got in His noise-polluting import and jetted away with the fortitude of 1.2 billion disease-carrying chipmunks running from a bloated pack of spotted wolf hamsters. Fluttershy ran with joy when she saw this. Her element of harmony was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes her favorite TV show, My Little Human, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When South American hissing sloths meet hand grenade'). Fluttershy was excited. And so, everyone except Rainbow Dash and a few malaria-toting albino cats lived blissfully happy, forever after.