User:N7

Herp De Derp
No leaks regarding Call of Duty: Black Ops are allowed! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeuoQ58YeLs

= Cock of Doody: Modern Gayfuckstupid 2 =

Campaign
The singleplayer follows a similar template to the other Call of Duty games, essentially: you are a bullet absorbing superman with a funny accent and the bad guys are not, kill them.

S.S.D.D
S.S.D.D. is an acronym for Same Shit, Different Day; funny because you did not do this shit yesterday. It's because you probably had common sense way back when. The first mission. You listen to General Shepard talk about Russia's economy, then teach some militia from Afghanistan. Finally, you have to run an obstacle course filled with cardboard cut-outs. This might seem easy at first, but you will find they are very difficult to destroy.

Mission note: Do NOT get confused between the Militia and civilians. You will have to go through the whole demonstration again.

Team Player
This is by far the most important mission of the game as it teaches you the vital game mechanics. A player cannot expect to do well online until he has mastered the game.

Cliffhanger
You take control of a Cockroach under the command of a bar of Soap who was supposed to have died in the first game. You kill Communist Russians in a snowstorm before escaping in a badass snowmobile chase.

No Russian
Mission made to make John McCain and Sarah Palin angry. You take a overly huge machine gun and shoot a bunch of cloned civilians in an Airport. Then, you spam noobtubes at Russian police with riot shields only to be shot in the face with a M9, even if you run away and hide behind a wall somehow the guy with the Desert Eagle curve the bullet and hit you in the head like the guy from the movie WANTED, staring someguy and angelena jolie.

Takedown
You drive down a busy street in Rio de Janeiro in a mid 70s sedan. You follow and park behind a white van. Proceed to be shot in the face with a Desert Eagle, again. Shrugging off death, you begin to chase the asshole down the street. Only not being able to get revenge, because some whining superior doesn't wanna have a hernia, you aim your rifle just right so he has to shit sidewards for the rest of his life.

Wolverines
U.S gets invaded by Russians in FUCKING HUGE-ASS, DEATH PLANES. But seriously, the scenario is actually somewhat legitimate as it begins and is an awesome mangasm of war. You become very familiar with your the neighborhood as you blow up civilian homes with your grenade-launcher and use the Big Machine gun on wheels to shoot people's houses and kill absolutely nobody... ALL in the name of defense of course.

The Rest
At this point Activision hires a new plot writer who fucks the game up so bad it isn't even worth reporting. Long story short, Washington blows up, insect dude gets shot in the face by a .44 Magnum by Shepherd and dies, and you get stabbed by the bitch who shot the insect dude in the face before using his badass motherfuckeric idealism by throwing the same knife in his eye. Yep, totally realistic. And shit. Derp.

Multiplayer
The famous multiplayer returned in Modern Warfare 2 with all its... glory. Infinity Ward can truly be said to have given up at attempting to make the game balanced, finally introducing a nuclear weapon so that accomplished players can end the game very swiftly. The hallmarks from the original Modern Warfare return; camping, back-stabbing, noob tubing, glitching, and pricks that stand next to you for five seconds before killing you, can all be found on the Call of Duty servers and guarantee an... "unparalled" game experience for all. Several changes were made between this and the previous installment:


 * Grenade Launchers now rewarded users instead of penalizing them.
 * The Attack Helicopter returned. It failed, but it returned.
 * On a similar wavelength, the Chopper Gunner killstreak returned, proving 5 times more powerful than the previous game's Attack Helicopter.
 * The AC-130 killstreak was added, being OVER 9000 times more powerful than the Attack Helicopter, being able to shoot down other killstreaks with its trademarked sheer OMGWTFness.
 * Dogs were removed, Infinity Ward believed it was unrealistic.
 * Following that note, Infinity Ward then proceeded to allow American players to drop a tactical nuke in the middle of *New York to kill nine Russians, as one does.


 * The Terminator now made frequent appearances with Model 1887s. Often Brazilian.
 * Players could spend up to $40 on maps from the previous game everyone hated.
 * The game rewarded players with dying with perks such as "Copycat," allowing users to grow a penis like their killer.
 * Shotguns were remade into secondary weapons, average players turned into tanks.
 * Tanks were removed and replaced with shotguns.