Moon/Quotes

This is the list of the characters' quotes from the Zombies map Moon.

Entering Area 51
"Ugh. Why did Richtofen bring us here."

- Start of game

"Why they call this place Paradise Ranch is beyond me. Desert sucks."

- Start of a game

"Home sweet home."

- Upon entering the Receiving Area.

"Nevada. Where the men are men and the sheep are nervous."

- Upon entering the Receiving Area.

"Hey, check it out, I think power is on already. Awesome!"

- Start of game

Entering Griffin Space Station
"I've always wanted to be a space marine! Oorah!"

- When entering Griffin Space Station.

"There's a universe full of titty bars and we end up here."

- When entering the moon.

"Where the hell are we?"

- When entering The Griffin Space Station.

Zombies
"I can't believe I'm getting paid to have this much fun!"

- When getting a kill

"Ya know, you'd think the word would get around that Dempsey is a badass!"

- When getting a kill

"No dice, gutter-slugs."

- When getting a knife kill

"What a rush."

- When getting multiple kills

"No hugs buttercup."

- When getting a knife kill

"EAT IT!"

- When getting a knife kill

"Eat shit and puke!"

- When getting an explosive kill

"Eat it and love me gas-hag."

- When killing a crawler

"That. Never. Gets. Old. Booyah!"

- When getting an explosive kill

"Blackjack freaksacks. You lose."

- When killing a zombie

"Not a chance fleshsore."

- After killing zombie that hit him.

"Congratulations freakbags, you've found the ass-kicking line."

- When swarmed

"Not a chance in hell, cupcake."

- When getting a kill.

"Try new 'Lobe Be-Gone'. Available at the end of my gun."

- After getting a headshot

Downed/Hit/Revived
"That wouldn't happen if you guys didn't SUCK!"

- Upon being revived.

"Thanks...next time, PAY ATTENTION!"

- Upon being revived.

"I'm gonna make them wish their mom was here..."

- Upon being revived.

"you see how lucky they got?"

- Upon being revived.

No Air
"Must... hold... breath... Quit... talking."

- When P.E.S is off in airless environment

"Can't......breathe."

- When P.E.S. is off when air is not on

"Lungs...giving...out."

- When taking the P.E.S. off in space

"This...really...sucks."

- When taking the P.E.S. off in space

P.E.S.
"Nice, now I wont have to smell Nikolai anymore."

- When equipping the P.E.S.

"Alright, fresh air!"

- When equipping the P.E.S

"Ah, now I wont have to smell Richtofen's ass breath anymore."

- When equipping the P.E.S

Easter Egg
"Uh, that's it? Seriously? All that work and all we did was blow up the Earth? What the fuck..."

- Upon completion of Richtofen's Grand Scheme Easter Egg.

Weapons
"Look at this...shiny."

- After receiving the Bowie Knife

"I wonder if anyone would design a fully automatic sniper rifle, would kinda defeat the purpose, but heh... it would be cool."

- Upon getting a sniper rifle.

"Alright. I get to be a sniper for once."

- When getting a sniper rifle.

"I'll fill 'em with so many holes, they'll belong in church!"

- When buying a machine gun off the walls.

"I'm gonna buy one of these for my five year old when she's older."

- When getting the M16.

No Ammo
"Okay. No ammo sucks in a shooter, Don't Ya' Think?"

- When out of ammo

"Need to round up some rounds."

- When low on ammo

"Need the juice!"

- When out of ammo

"No dice,No cash,No drink,No woman,No bose,Nothing."

After Running out of ammo

Power-Up
"Everyone's favorite!"

- When getting Max Ammo

"Why would they put fire on sale?"

- When getting a Fire Sale

Perk-a-Cola
"I like the "Beer" part, but I wonder who's "Root" it came from."

- When buying Double Tap Root Beer

"Hey baby! Nice juggs, good nog, fun times."

- After buying Juggernog.

"Ahh finally, a cold cerveza. Tastes like a freaking import, but it'll do."

- After buying Mule Kick. ("Cerveza" means "Beer" in spanish)

"Ack. Chewing ain't something I like to do in my beverages."

- After buying PhD Flopper.

"Headshot help? Whatever."

- After buying Deadshot Daiquiri.

"Ugh. (Vomits). This stuff tastes worse than out the other way."

- After buying Quick Revive.

"(Groans). Sour."

- After buying Stamin-Up.

Utilities
"Suddenly I feel like I'm in a really bad movie. I mean really bad."

- When using gravity lift

"Bounce and shoot. Bounce and shoot. I'm liking it."

- When using gravity lift

"Boing!"

- When using gravity lift

"WHEEE!"

- When using the gravity lift

"This is aaawsoooome!"

- When using the gravity lift

Area 51
"Something is different. Bells ringing, alarms sounding... Call it a hunch, but I think there may be zombies near."

- Spawning in Area 51

"This place is too loud. Maybe if I plug my ears and hum song. dadadadadaDA dadadadadaDA dadadadashleydalow! Fuck."

- Spawning in Area 51

"Shit. Sounds like all hell is breaking loose here. We must get out quick."

- Spawning in Area 51

Upon Reaching the Moon
"Ah, a moon base! The perfect place for my favorite hobby, hitting random buttons without any caution what-so-ever!"

- Upon teleporting to the Moon

"Yes! Finally, I've made it to the Moon! You were wrong fourth wife! YOU WERE WRONG!"

- Upon teleporting to the Moon

"Uh...We are on... the Moon. Really at this point, even going to the Moon is not a surprise."

- Upon teleporting to the Moon

"This Moon base is pretty cool, but how did zombies get up here?"

- Upon teleporting to the Moon

No Air
"If this... is end... of Nikolai... must have one... last shot of... vodka."

- When taking off P.E.S.

"Must... get air... but low gravity... so much fun... decisions, decisions."

- When taking off P.E.S.

"Its really hard... to breath out here... in space... anyone else find that... weird?"

- When taking off P.E.S.

"Must... hold... breath. *long pause* That was hard."

- When taking off P.E.S.

"*singing* do do...suffocating on the moon...zombies dissapear into the gloom..."

- When taking of P.E.S

Zombie
"Take THAT, you legless hellpig!"

- After killing a crawler

"Pull down the trigger, zombies die, simple enough."

- After obtaining a machine gun

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAH!"

- After stabbing a zombie

"1! 2! 3! 4! 5! I can't be stopped!"

- When on a killing streak(a referance to The Count on the toddler's show, Seseme Street).

"Ouch! Little Nikolai, are you hurt? (In high pitched voice) No Papa!"

- Nikolai, after being hit by a crawler.

"Want a sip of Vodka? Oh, you can't, you're dead!"

- Getting a kill

"DID NOT I SAY HANDS OFF ZOMBIE?"

- After killing a zombie that recently hit him

"Why did you have to hit me?! I called time out!"

- After killing a zombie that recently hit him

"Remember, close your mouth when it expl- *gags* Oh, shit. Taste like zombie! Ugh."

- After getting an explosive kill. A reference to his quote in Shangri-La.

"OUCH! That really hurt, zombie! I think I may bruise..."

- After killing a zombie that recently hit him

Power-Up
"Now I can go home and tell seventh wife I make double points! ...And about new girlfriend."

- When receiving a double points powerup.

"Great... Now I can make double of whatever the hell these points are..."

- When recieving a double points powerup.

Weapon
"Now I have got two black hole bombs, the other one is my ass!"

- After getting the Gersch Device from the mystery box

"Outta Ammo! Maybe if I walk around like a zombie they will ignore me? GRRRRRR......"

- When out of ammo

"Yay! This bomb-y thingy did something nice for Nikolai!"

- After killing a zombie with the QED

"Well looks like I am about to die..... Click Click"

- When out of ammo

"This sucks harder than sixth wife!"

- After deploying a Gersch Device

"Oh no I hate the clicky click sound!"

- When out of ammo

"Oh great, almost out of ammo, I hate having to wait for that green floating-thingy!"

- Upon running out of ammo. (A reference to the Max Ammo Power-Up. Possibly from Shangri-La)

"I would 360 noscope all you zombies, but I would get dizzy. Someone else do it."

- After getting a Sniper Rifle. This is a reference to trickshotters.

"I think this is what Dempsey calls, a Boom Dick!"

- Nikolai, after buy a Stakeout off the wall. A reference to Dempsey frequently calling shotguns a "Boom stick."

"Ohh, low on ammo. Think, Nikolai, think. Okay, I got it. HELP! I NEED MORE AMMO!"

- When low on ammo.

"Okay, someone give me their gun, and you can have my gun, which has full ammo, I swear."

- When out of ammo.

"I think this big weapon makes me look sexy. Sexy, Russian Nikolai..."

- Upon receiving certain weapons from the Mystery Box or the M16.

"Hey guys, I'm gonna go get a weapon from the b- OH FUCK!"

- When someone else gets a teddy bear from the box.

Perk-A-Cola
"I have just about had it with this fish juice."

- After buying Quick Revive.

"I feel like little boy again...And get a beating from dad."

- After buying Juggernog.

"Hahaha! I like this drink."

- After buying Mule Kick.

"Mmm. Spicy. Add some vodka, maple, celerory... Now it is a drink!"

- After buying Speed Cola.

"It must be fun to watch this fat Russian run."

- After buying Stamin-Up.

"Now I'll run out of ammo twice as fast. Is this a good thing?"

- After buying Double Tap Root Beer.

"Now I can aim and be drunk at the same time! Perfection!"

- After buying Deadshot Daiquiri.

"Whoa, thick. Little bit of vodka should fix that right up."

- After buying PhD Flopper.

Random
"That brings smile to my face!"

- After killing an Astronaut Zombie

"Space Nikolai leaps across the Moon!"

- Randomly when jumping.

"Look! I am space man cosmonaut."

- Randomly when jumping.

"Too much blinky-blinky, not enough DRINKY-DRINKY."

- When trying to do Step 2 of the Easter Egg

"Now that I've flipped this grimy switch, in an otherwise technologically advanced moon station, the power is on. Who designed this stupid place?"

- After turning on the power

Area 51
"What is this new madness?"

- After starting the game.

"Great Scott! This is a new way to start."

- After starting the game.

"Okay, for first time in ages, Takeo is surprised."

- After starting the game

"So, they want to shake things up a bit? Takeo is game."

- After starting the game

"Okay... I get it... We are not supposed to be here...."

- After starting the game

Moon Base
"This place has "Richtofen" written all-over it. Not literally. That was the last place"

- After teleporting to the Moon. Referencing Richtofen's name being carved upon the altar in Shangri-La.

"Ugh, I need a vacation, someplace uhh nice, like Fiji."

- After teleporting to the Moon

"Ow, the Moon. How predictable."

- After teleporting to the Moon

"And NOW we must turn on the power..."

- After teleporting to the Moon

"We must stop the machine, before it's too late!"

- After hearing the Excavator Breach Alarm

"What new Devilsh Challenge is this?"

- After hearing the Escavator Breach Alarm

No Air
"Takeo....can...hold..his..breath.....indefinitely."

- When not wearing the P.E.S. in an airless room

Weapons
"Good things, come with MG's."

- When getting an MG

"I would smile.... If I knew how."

- When getting an SMG

"Bah, I've had better."

- When getting an SMG

Pack-A-Punch
"Oh Nikki, still drinking. I feel so sorry for him."

- Waiting for the Pack-A-Punch

"Hmm, Dempsey. Too much empty space between his ears, but there is still hope."

- Waiting for the Pack-A-Punch

Perk-A-Cola
"Now I can Jugg their Noggs."

- After drinking Jugger-Nog

"Headshots come natural to Takeo."

- After drinking Deadshot

"Yum! This never taste so good!"

- After drinking Quick Revive

"I am ready! Bring 'em on Cowboy yee-haaaw!"

- After drinking Double Tap

"This is helpful, although not my favorite."

- After drinking PhD Flopper

"Now THIS Is Cola!"

- After drinking Mule Kick

"This drink makes Takeo strong!"

- After drinking Mule Kick

Zombies
"I stab at thee."

- After knifing a Zombie (A reference to Richtofen's identical quote in Shangri-La)

"How dare you touch Takeo?!"

- After killing a zombie that just hit him

"I will avenge.. myself!"

- After killing a Zombie that just hit him

"I would say "BANZAI!" but Takeo is no cliché"

- After killing lots of Zombies

Crawlers
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA these Crawlers are very amusing!"

- After making a Crawler

"I would take one as a pet, if it was not for the mess."

- After making a Crawler

"OUCH! My legs are not for eating!"

- After getting hit by a Crawler

Ammo
"No ammo? .... Not cool.."

- When out of ammo

"No more ammo means no more fun"

- When out of ammo (A possible reference to a similar quote made by Richtofen)

"Anybody got a extra bullet?"

- Getting low on ammunition

"Mag? Mag? Anyone got a mag!?"

- Getting low on ammunition

Gravity
"Okay, put me down! Put me down!"

- While jumping in low gravity(Possible reference to Nikolai quote on Shangri-La.)

"Low gravity, is honorable!"

- While jumping in low gravity

"Why is this jumping weird?"

- While jumping in low gravity

Hacking
"What is this Hacking, I see no sharp blades or edges."

- After picking up the Hacker

"Hacking-Takeo on it's way!"

- After picking up the Hacker

Other
"I promise to destroy every last remnant of 935! I will destroy them all!"

- After completing Richtofen's Grand Scheme

"Just what a doctor ordered. No, not you Richtofen."

- After getting max ammo or after getting power up from QED.

"I will take it anytime."

- After getting shots from weapons from QED.

Area 51
"Dempsey! I can see your house from here! It's on fire!"

- Upon entering Area 51

"This must be the place where they make all the apple pies!"

- Upon entering Area 51 (Reference to a Call of the Dead radio in which Richtofen complains about America and their apple pies)

"We must get to the teleporter"

- Upon entering Area 51

"The foolish Americans will never gain my secrets."

- Upon entering Area 51 (Reference to Richtofen's Grand Scheme)

Reaching the moon base
"It will all be over soon, just do as I do and try not to die."

- After entering the base.

"FINALLY IT WILL BE MINE! I mean, hey I think we're in space!"

- After putting on helmet.

Zombies
"This will open your mind! Ahahahaha, get it? Open your mind! Forget it..."

- After getting a headshot

"I take your soul!"

- Knifing during Insta-Kill. Possible reference to Richtofen's Grand Scheme

"MORE! GIVE ME MORE! Ok, little less."

- After killing many Zombies

"Again, I am the victor!"

- When getting a kill.

"EAT IT und LIKE IT!"

- When killing a zombie

Weapons
"It goes *high pitch* BOOM!. But not so high pitched more like BOOM!"

- Buying Semtex

Perk-A-Colas
"Revive this you animals!"

- After drinking Quick Revive.

"I do need a Juggernog tonight!"

- After drinking Juggernog

"The power of a third arm! I know it well."

- After drinking Mule Kick

"Root beer! ja!"

- after drinking double tap root beer.

"I will shoot them! in there eyes!"

- after drinking deadshot daiquiri.

"again with the flopping doctor..."

- after drinking PhD flopper.

"oh the rush is invigorating!"

- after drinking speed cola.

"its stamin-uuuup time!"

- After drinking stamin-up

Utilities and Equipment
"Oh no, I got to go."

- After using the Launch Pad

"Yes! It worked, now onto phase 12!"

- When turning the power on or opening a door, sometimes even at random times.

"My mad Haxor Skill is only eclipsed by my Mad Scientist Skills"

- When using the Hacker

"If my calculations are correct, that big digging thingy is going to FUCK US UP!"

- When an excavator is about to breach the moon base.

No Air
"*gasping* This is...all..Dempsey's fault!...I hate pie!"

- When taking the P.E.S. off outside

"NEIN!...AIR!...GOOD FOR...TORTURE..*cough*"

- When taking the P.E.S off outside

"The...Doctor...needs..to find..some..AIR!!"

- When taking the P.E.S off outside

""The....Doctor....is....almost....out....of....SPLEENS!""

- Spawning without a helmet

Downed/Hurt/Revived
"I am dying!"

- When downed

"You dare touch me, minion?"

- When being hit

"You dare attack the doctor?"

- When being hit

"It bites my shins... IT BITES MY SHINS!"

- Hit by crawler

Easter Egg
"I knew I should have invented an automatic egg-moving robot. Stupid Maxis with his stupid accent."

- When moving the "egg" towards the pyramid

"Why can't we just PICK THIS UP!"

- When knifing the egg towards the pyramid

"Hello Samantha, you little brat. Your time is coming. Soon.(Laughs) SO SOON!"

- After revealing Samantha from the pyramid

"It's Mine, FINALLY ITS MINE!"

- When Recieving The Vrll Generator

"I LIVE! The POWER! THE POWER! I WILL CONTROL THEM ALL! I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL! But not before we continue the game."

- After swapping bodies with Samantha

Ammo
"MY AMMO IS LOW!"

- When low on ammo

"Oh no, I need ammo."

- When low on ammo

"Without the bullets I will have to start stabbing. AH! STABBING!"

- When out of ammo, similar to a quote said in Kino der Toten

Interactive
"I think they want your Apple Pies, American, hahahahahahahahaha, and he'd be carrying the Python. Forget it."

- When Dempsey is surrounded with a Python

Miscellaneous
"Oh good, I'm dolphin diving!"

- After diving.

Announcer
"Kaa-BOOM!"

- When picking up Nuke

"Insta-Kill!"

- When picking up Insta-Kill

"Time for a FIRE SALE!"

- When picking up Fire sale.

"Aahahahahahahah, Nahahahahah Byebye!"

- When A Player Gets the Teddy Bear out of the Mystery box.

Ludvig Maxis
"Greetings. If you are receiving this message, it means that Richtofen has entered the device. If you free me, I will help you minimize the damage that he will inevitably cause."

- Said after Sam and Richtofen switch bodies.

"I have finished the calculations. Launch protocol initiated. Launch in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1..."

- Said after completing final game of Samantha Says

"30 seconds to impact."

- Said when rockets are halfway to Earth.

Pack-A-Punch
"I hate Edward! He has lied to daddy since I was just a little girl. *laughs*"

- When waiting for the Pack-a-Punch

Easter Egg
"But I want my body back, and I will destroy that evil Richtofen for taking daddy away!"

- Samantha upon completion of the Big Bang Theory Achievement.

"I WILL DESTROY YOU FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO DADDY!"

- Said when filling up the four jars

"EDWARD! YOU WILL TREMBLE IN FEAR! I'LL SLICE YOU APART AND EXPOSE YOUR ROTTEN INNARDS SO YOU WILL BE JUDGED FOR WHAT YOU HAVE BECOME!"

- Said when Richtofen is nearby

""YOUR TEARS WILL TASTE SO SWEET, WHEN YOU BEG FOR YOUR MISERABLE LIFE!""

- When filling up the jars

'''"YOU DID THIS! I WILL HAVE NO MERCY ON YOU FOR YOUR ARROGANCE!"

- Said when filling up the jars '''

'''"I WILL DESTROY ALL THOSE WHO HELP YOU!"

- Said when filling up the jars. Note: This explains why the zombies attack the other three characters, not just Richtofen. '''

"THE EARTH'S DESTRUCTION WILL LIE IN YOUR HANDS EDWARD! YOUR FAULT!"

- Said when filling up the jars

"It was more fun when I was in charge!"

- After swapping bodies with Richtofen

"Go egg go!"

- When watching the egg travel

Zombies
"Zombies! Go bother Nikolai."

- When swarmed.

"Pop goes the zombie..."

- Explosive kill.

"Let's play hide and seek!"

- Upon getting a kill. A reference to the Fly Trap.

"Next time,﻿ Uncle Edward will give you stronger legs! Edward! Give them stronger legs! You're terrible at this!"

- When making a crawler. (Reference to how Richtofen is controlling the Zombies now.)

"Down comes the baby, cradle and all. Shh..."

- When getting a kill.

"Hahahaha! Stop that! It tickles!"

- When getting hit by a crawler

"Crawl to me! Minion!"

- When making a crawler

"I'll drink your sorrow..."

- When making a crawler

"I feel no pity for your pain!"

- When killing an Astronaut Zombie

"Stay away from Sam!"

- When killing an Astronaut Zombie

"STAY BACK!"

- When killing a Zombie that recently attacked

"Bye Bye..."

- When getting a kill

"Bored now. Ice cream!"

- When making a crawler

"Hurt you more than you hurt me."

- When killing a zombie that recently hit her

"Tell Edward to DIE!"

- When getting a kill with the Gersch Device

"Ha! I'm a natural!"

- When getting a headshot

"Guns are fun!"

- Getting a headshot

"Boom goes Fluffy dog!"

- Killing a Hellhound (A reference to her dog, Fluffy)

"No soul for you today!"

- Killing a Hellhound

"Die hell spawn!"

- Killing a Hellhound

"Fetch this!"

- Killing a Hellhound

"Poor puppy..."

- Killing a Hellhound

"Feel Samantha!"

- When killing a Zombie with the Zap Gun Dual Wield

"Did you see that? He blew up!"

- Killing a Zombie with the Wave Gun

"Bye bye dead guy!"

- Killing a Zombie with the Wave Gun

"Do you smell the rotting flesh cook?"

- Killing a Zombie with the Wave Gun

"Ding! Snacks ready! Who wants spleen?"

- Killing a Zombie with the Wave Gun

"Just like mommy used to make...."

- Killing a Zombie with the Wave Gun

"SPLAT!"

- Killing a Zombie with the Ray Gun

"Drink it Eddy! You liar!"

- Getting multiple kills

Mystery Box
"Oh, goodie! Hahahahah!"

- Receiving a good gun from the box

"You cannot hide in there forever Edward!"

- Receiving a teddy bear from the box

"Let's play a game!"

- When getting a Machine Gun from the box. Also could be a reference to the Fly Trap easter egg

"He he he! Samantha's been a naughty little girl!"

- When getting an assault rifle from the box

"My favorite little toy!"

- When receiving a Ray Gun from the box

"Oh, no! This is not fun."

- When receiving a pistol from the box

"Oh! I can't make them play dead with this!"

- When getting a pistol from the box

"I WILL MAKE YOU DIE!"

- When getting the QED

"Meet the Aether!"

- When using the Gersch Device

"I will rip you to pieces, liar!"

- When Mystery Box moves location

"Take me to my father!"

- When receiving Teddy Bear from the box

"Bring it back to me!"

- When Mystery Box moves location

"How convenient!"

- When hacking the Mystery Box

Ammo
''"DAMN DAMN DAMN! No bullets." ''

--When out of ammo

Power Up
"DIE!"

- When getting a kill during Insta Kill

"Feel me!"

- Getting a kill during Insta Kill

"I will drink your tears!"

- Getting a kill during Insta Kill

"I'll cut you!"

- When getting a kill during Insta Kill

"Bad puppet!"

- When getting a kill during Insta Kill

"That will keep them out for a second."

- When getting Carpenter

"I liked my song better..."

- When getting a Fire Sale

"Feel my wrath!"

- Getting a Nuke

Perk-a-Cola
"Ooh! Strawberries! And a little something like...spleens."

- When buying Deadshot Daiquiri

"Mmm I like rootbeer! Hehehe!"

- When buying Double Tap

"I feel all grownup!"

- When buying Juggernog

"Mommy said I didn't have to eat prunes! It is for old people."

- When purchasing PhD Flopper

"This still feels slow."

- When buying Speed Cola

"Ugh, blech! Yucky!"

- When buying Quick Revive

"Mmm...yummy in my tummy!"

- When buying Mule Kick

"Sour!"

- When buying Stamin-Up

Interactive
"Samantha says STOP!"

- When hacking an excavator

"What's that scary sound!?"

- When excavator approaches

"The floor is all rumbly..."

- When excavator is incoming

"Takeo you play the game really good!"

- When Takeo gets a headshot

"No matter how many you kill, you cannot win this way!"

- When another player gets a headshot

"Uh-oh...you made a booboo."

- When another player makes a crawler

"Wheeeeeee!"

- When using the Launch Pad

"Look at me daddy!"

- When using the Launch Pad