Ascension/Quotes

Killing a Zombie
"Thank you, Ray!"

- After getting multiple kills with the Ray Gun

"Is it just me, or is there this red mist everywhere?"

- After getting a knife kill

"It's raining body parts, Richtofen will be so happy!"

- After blowing off a limb.

"Say "Hi" to Sam for me!"

- After killing multiple zombies with the Gersch Device

"Eat lead...uh, green shit, marrow-maggots!!"

- After getting multiple kills with the Ray Gun

oh you dont want to die sorrry no returns accepted-after killing a zombie

Downed/Revived
"I know, I know. You need me"

- After being revived

"I'm not winning here!!!"

- After being downed

Ammo

"This isn't as much fun without bullets!"

- Running out of ammo



Buying a Weapon/Door
"Well, this will do the trick."

- After buying a sickle.

Pack-A-Punch
"Everyone says Tak is boring - and, maybe he is - but you always need that one stale guy to make the rest of us a little bit cooler."

- Said When Pack-a-Punching a Weapon

"(Demented Laughing)"

- After receiving Porter's Ray Gun X2 from the Pack-A-Punch machine

"This just turned the fun knob up to 11!"

- After receiving Porter's Ray Gun X2 from the Pack-A-Punch machine. Also a reference to the mockumentary "This is Spinal Tap"

"I don't like that Richtofen. I think I've seen him before Shi No Numa, in fact, I don't remember much at all..."

- When Pack-A-Punching a weapon, referring to the memory wipe caused by Element 115.

'''"Damn, I keep forgetting to update my Facebook page""

- Said when using the Pack-A-Punch machine '''

Mystery Box
"An SMG... now I just need one for my other hand!"

- After getting a SMG from the Mystery Box.

"SCREW THAT STUPID BOX!"

- When attempting to use the mystery box without enough points.

Other
"Who's this guy?"

- After Nikolai's Matryoshka Doll talks to him (possibly because he completely ignores nikolai)

"Is this a doll or an action figure?"

- After a Matryoshka Doll talks to him

Killing a Zombie
"Cheer up! You guys last longer than my marriages!"

- After killing a large group of Zombies

"Feel the wrath of the Motherland!"

- After killing a zombie.

"Russians only get this close to vodka!"

- When a zombie hits Nikolai

"It's a party, see the confetti?!"

- After getting a headshot or an explosive kill

Space Monkey
"So, Takeo DID have love affair with stuffed monkey! Look what they made!"

- Randomly at the start of a Monkey Round.

Downed/Revived
"Oh Crap, I need help! I don't care if it is Takeo!"

- After being downed

"My weapon is filled with bullets, my body is filled with vodka. All is good!"

- After getting a Max Ammo.

"They're all dead, good time for drink."

- After the nuke explosion.

Perk-A-Cola
"Now, I am Russian bear!"

- After buying Juggernog.

"I do not like this drink, it ruins my buzz."

- After buying Quick Revive.

"This makes good mixer, no?"

- After buying Stamin-Up.

Pack-A-Punch
""Ugh... I keep forgetting to update my Facebook page!"

- Said during the use of the Pack-a-Punch machine.

Other
"Your eyes are empty, Takeo."

- When his Matryoshka doll is talked to by Takeo.

"I hate you Richtofen."

- When his matryoshka doll is talked to by Richtofen.

"HEY! You didn't get me a drink!"

- After activating all 5 nodes.

"I will help you, but only if you bring me Vodka!"

- After Gersch speaks

Being Hit by a Zombie

 * "Ah! Touch me not, unless YE BE DESTROYED!"
 * — Upon killing a zombie after being attacked.

I like it!
After buying the MP5K.

Perk-A-Cola
"A taste that reminds me of home."

- After buying Quick Revive.

"Juggernog is fuel for honor!"

- After buying Juggernog.

"This...makes my eyes water."

- After buying PhD Flopper.

Other
"I see you take great pleasure in your work, Doctor!"

- After witnessing Richtofen get multiple kills

"One becomes two becomes three becomes...Death!"

- When talking to a Matryoshka doll.

"How many surprises do you hide, little one?"

- When talking to a Matryoshka doll.

"For the emperor!"

- Takeo's Matryoshka Doll talking to Takeo.

"Good day, Doctor!"

- Takeo's Matryoshka Doll talking to Richtofen.

"You ugly American!"

- Takeo's Matryoshka Doll talking to Dempsey.

"A toy that even I can play with!"

- Takeo talking to Matryoshka Dolls.

Beginning a Match
"Who keeps turning off the power wherever we go? And now taken the color? WHO IS DOING THIS!?"

- After starting a match

Killing a Zombie
"Hahahahahahaha! DIE!!"

- After killing multiple zombies

"The insides of your head are delicious!"

- After getting a headshot

"Now you could fit into a gumball machine... and I could have a piece of you for a quarter. WHO HAS A QUARTER!? Dempsey???"

- After blowing up a zombie.

Space Monkey
"At least it isn't throwing shit."

- After being attacked by a Space Monkey.

"MEIN FOOT!"

- After a Space Monkey hits his foot.

Downed/Revived
"I'm not dead! ...Not yet."

- After being revived. Possible reference to the movie "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"

Power Up
"Oh ze little demons go boom!"

- Upon getting a nuke.

"Double the points, double the death, double the fun"

- After receiving a Double Points power-up

Pack-A-Punch
"The doctor is in!"

- After Pack-A-Punching a weapon

Mystery Box
"Mother told me never to play with dolls - now... they are MINE!!"

- When getting the Matryoshka Dolls

"Not as accurate as my formulas, but it will do."

- After receiving a SMG from the Mystery Box

Other
"Ach, don't breath on me!"

- When his Matryoshka doll talks to Nikolai Belinski.

"Ha ha ha! Stop tickling me!"

- When talking to his own Matryoshka doll.

"Oh hi Takeo!"

- When his Matryoshka doll talks to Takeo Masaki.

"Big Dempsey you're SOOO BIIIG!"

- When his Matryoshka doll talks to Tank Dempsey.

"Maybe we should help this... thing."

- When the generator is sucked into the Gersch Device.

"This Kassimir Mechanism sounds intriguing!"

- When node one of the Kassimir Mechanism is completed.

"Ahhhh, this is just too much fun!"

- When node two of the Kassimir Mechanism is completed

"You've already have this much power and you've want more?!? ... I like the way you think."

- Upon using the Gersch Device near the Kassimir Mechanism when all the nodes are active. The Russian scientist will say that there is still not enough power on which Richtofen would comment.

Gersch
"Please.. Help me.. She's coming! The mechanism must be repaired."

- Said at start of game.

"You've done it! Now, it needs as much power as possible. Hurry, she's getting nearer!"

- Said after generator is sucked into Gersch Device.

"Three more! No, stop it!"

- After activating Node 1 in the Kassimir Mechanism.

"It needs to be more concentrated power for this to work!"

- After activating Node 2 in the Kassimir Mechanism.

"Yes, YES! Almost there! Hurry! She's coming! LUNA!!"

- After activating Node 3 in the Kassimir Mechanism.

"Ah yes, I'm free! I cannot thank you enough for releasing me."

- After completing the Kassimir Mechanism.