Kino der Toten/Quotes

Tank Dempsey
"No power, no glory."

- At the beginning.

"Are you freakin' kidding me? No power!"

- At the beginning.

"Well well well. Look's like there ain't no power."

- At the beginning.

"Gotta have to get the power on, it's like déjà vu all over again."

- At the beginning.

"Yep, just as I suspected. We need to get the power on."

- At the beginning.

"No power. How original."

- Beginning a match

Quotes cut from Kino Der Toten.
"The Waffle! Killing zombies made easy in one single step. Batteries included."

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box (Said in a very fast, commercial-kinda voice.)

"Element 115. Concentrated to a single beam of pure badassery...wait...how the hell do I know that?"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box. Note reference to the brainwashing effect caused by Element 115 on Takeo, Nikolai and Dempsey,

"The DG-2... one slick piece of machinery."

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"Wonder Waffle...yeah. Thing 'o beauty."

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"Hey zombies! You like Waffles?"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"Welcome to the party meatsacks!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"They got ZERO chance against me and the Wonder Waffle!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"You see that? HOLY SHIT BALLS!"

- Killing zombie/s with the Wunderwaffe DG-2

--After being revived.

"Time to fry freakmaggots!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"BZZZ! ZAP! Woohoo!"

- Killing zombie/s with the Wunderwaffe DG-2

Killing a Zombie
"Back off meatmouth!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"Look at that mess I made...Oorah."

- After killing lots of zombies in a row.

"Gotta give ya credit zombie, you got no quit in ya!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"Stay dead cheesehead!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"Eat my blade, maggot-sack!"

- After a knife kill.

"Taste this, bone-junkie!"

- After a knife kill.

"RARGH!!!"

- After a knife kill.

"Die, DIE!"

- After a knife kill.

"Blow them to high hell!"

- After an explosive kill.

"AWESOME!"

- After an explosive kill.

"Hey, freak-bag! You need to learn a way to die!"

- After an explosive kill.

"I've gave him credit, he's not about to quit!"

- After an explosive kill.

"I guess they need to get blowed up again!"

- After an explosive kill.

"Stupid undead flesh monkeys! You're dead already!"

- After an explosive kill.

"There's just something so beautiful about blowing shit up!"

- After an explosive kill.

"Blood-sucking gutter-slugs you're goin' out Dempsy's style!"

- After an explosive kill.

"Oo-fuckin'-rah!"

- After an explosive kill.

"Whoo-hoo!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"If I keep this up I'm gonna run out of zombies!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Argh! Fuck me that smells!"

- After killing a Gas Zombie.

"Richtofen lay off the sourkraut man!"

- After killing a Gas Zombie

"How do ya like that, creepy crawler!"

- After killing a Gas Zombie.

"He just... he just blew all over the place! *laughs* Wow!"

- Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"Lets send those freakbags back to 1946!"

- Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"Okay, woah! That was bad-ass!"

- Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"Killing zombies in one simple step! Batteries no included."

- When getting multiple kills with the Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"Slaying zombies since 1945!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Die you undead flesh-whores!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Hey zombies, you're dying over here!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Enough dead for a Goth party!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"You keep coming, I'll keep killing!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Okay, let's see, a thousand zombies, and one Dempsey; yeah that seems fair."

- Upon multiple kills.

Being hit by a Zombie
"Eat it ya nasty squag!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"Die you undead flesh-addict!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"K to the I to the A Zombitch!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him, reference to status K.I.A (Killed in Action)

Hellhound
"Ah great... this again!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Bring on the dogs!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"I ain't gonna be any puppy's chew toy!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Time to put you down puppy-dog!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Fetch my grenade, devil voice!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Fuck you, Fido!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"Down boy!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"That's the last leg you'll ever hump!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

Downed or revived
"Fuckers caught me napping!"

- When downed.

"Man down, MAN DOWN!"

- When downed.

"Argh... this is embarrassing!"

- When downed.

"I hope you choke, meat-sack!"

- When downed.

"Lucky bone-sucking maggot-whores... they're reeealy gonna pay now!"

- After being revived.

"Whatever... even a blind squirrel is right twice a day."

- After being revived.

"So they got a little lucky... WHAT?!"

- After being revived.

""Don't worry, just tripped.""

- After being revived.

Ammo
"Feeling light... need the juice."

- When low ammo.

"Need some juice soon!"

- When low ammo.

"Need some more ammo..."

- When low ammo.

"Knee deep in zombie shit with no ammo, glorious!"

- When out of ammo.

"Hey player! We need ammo or we're going down!"

- When out of ammo

"Hey player! Drop the chips and get me some ammo!"

- When out of ammo.

"I need to find some lead or I'm gonna get bored here!"

- When out of ammo

"Damn! I'm out of juice!"

- When out of ammo.

"Gonna have to round up some rounds!"

- When low on ammo or out of ammo

"I need more ammunition! Ahh!! Ahh!!"

- When low on ammo or out of ammo

Buying weapons off the wall
"The only thing better than a M16 is... well, two M16s!"

- After buying a M16 off the wall.

"Ah, the M16. 5.56 millimeter magazine-fed gas-operated sweetness... just like me."

- After buying a M16 off the wall.

"Wonder if they'll even know what hit them."

- After buying a M14 off the wall.

"Little gun, lots of holes!"

- Buying a SMG off the wall

"I'm gonna spill their guts all over the place, haha!"

- After buying an Olympia off the wall.

"Nothing like a SMG!"

- After buying an AK-74u off the wall.

"Hey zombie! Wanna try out my new gun?"

- Buying an SMG off the wall

Power-up
"Whoo! More shit to kill with!"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"RE-JUICED!"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"Ammunition on the house!"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"Wait, we ARE keeping score?"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"Shoot 'em up!"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"NUUUKE!"

- Upon getting a Nuke.

"KA-BOOOOM!"

- Upon getting a Nuke.

"Eat that ya undead flesh monkeys!"

- Upon getting a Nuke.

"Man up Zombies, it's time to die."

- Upon getting Insta-Kill.

Perk-a-Cola
"Tastes like... fermented herring dipped in cat piss... ugh."

- Upon drinking Quick Revive.

"Ahhh, that hit the spot"

- Upon drinking Speed-cola.

"Reach for me, Jugger-Girl... oo-rah."

- Upon drinking Jugger-nog.

"Ugh, why is this stuff so damn chewy?"

- Upon drinking Double Tap Root Beer.

Pack-a-Punch
"I wonder if Richtofen has gears like that in his head."

- While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"Man... I wish we could replace Richtofen with a hot chick, I'm getting lonely here."

- While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"Pack a punch, just like me."

- While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"C'mon Pack-a-Punch, you better hurry up!"

- While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"Hell yeah, Dempsy gets an upgrade!"

- After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"Bring it on, freak-sacks!"

- After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

Mystery Box
"Time to die, bone-jaw!"

- After getting a Commando from Mystery Box.

"Little gun, lot's of holes."

- After getting a Spectre from Mystery Box.

"No more nice guy bone-jaw, I'm gonna kick your ass."

- After getting a SPAS-12 from Mystery Box.

"Time to make some noise!"

- After getting a HS-10 from Mystery Box.

"Well, I see the future hasn't changed anything! Fucking box!"

- After getting a Python from Mystery Box.

"That's just craptastic!"

- After getting a CZ75 from Mystery Box.

"Monkey! So glad to see you again, buddy!"

- After getting a Monkey Bomb from Mystery Box.

"Aww, what a cute little bundle of C4!"

- After getting a Monkey Bomb from Mystery Box.

"Looks like the future hasn't changed anything. Stupid bear."

- After getting a Teddy Bear from Mystery Box.

"Can't roll a bet if I can't place the dice!"

- When trying to use the Mystery Box without enough points.

"Oh, they are gonna dig this!!!"

- After Recieving the ray gun.

"Check out those cool lights and buttons..."

- After receiving the Thundergun.

Other
"And you thought I couldn't find this place."

- Upon entering the bathroom at first floor.

"No time for sugar baby, I'm here to check the meter!"

- Upon entering the dressing room.

"Hey, I'm outside!"

- Upon gaining access to the alley.

"I always did want a spot on the big screen."

- After the power is turned on.

"Looks like part of a meteor."

- After found the first piece of the meteor.

"Here's another one!"

- After found the second piece of the meteor

"That has to be the last one."

- After found the last piece of the meteor.

"I found the hidden song, awesome."

- Upon activating the "115" song easter egg.

"I found the hidden song!"

- Upon activating the "115" song easter egg.

"A tale of two Dempseys, starts slow but has a happy ending."

- After examining his portrait.

"Whoa, looks like Nikolai has put on a few pounds. What's he been eatin'?"

- After examining Nikolai's portrait.

"Aww, our little bundle of badass."

- After examining Takeo's portrait.

"He's portrait bigger than anyone else is. Must be trying to compensate for something."

- Upon examining Richtofen's portrait.

"Hey look! It's nobody!"

- After examining the blacked-out portrait.

Nikolai Belinski
"Maybe someone should go turn on the power now."

- At the beginning.

"No power! Just like home!"

- At the beginning.

"I think we need to do something about the power."

- At the beginning.

"Who didn't pay the electric bill?"

- At the beginning.

"We should go find the fuse box."

- At the beginning.

Quotes cut from Kino Der Toten.
"Oh great! It's the Wonderfulwaffle!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"This has more power than Moscow Electric Company!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"This ALMOST as strong as the best Russian vodka."

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

Killing a Zombie
"You cannot even beat a drunk Soviet!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"The Red Army cannot be overun!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"Out of my way piz-da!"

- Upon getting a kill. "piz-da" means "pussy" in Russian.

"NO! NO VODKA FOR YOU!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"Die, Satan's minions!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"Die by the hand of Nikolai! Hey, that rhymes..."

- After a knife kill.

"Die now, son of bitch!"

- After a knife kill.

"You got slime on my new shirt! Now I have to dry clean!"

- Killing a Gas Zombie at close range

"Now that's what I call a goulash!"

- Killing multiple zombies with an explosive weapon

"You fall like coddled bourgeois!"

- Multiple kills

"STAY AWAY FROM MY VODKA! What? It's a classic!"

- After an explosive kill.

"Euuuaaaaghhhhhh!!"

- After a knife kill

"This fucking gun is amazing!"

- Getting multiple kills with the Ray Gun

"Now they're here, now they're not. Such is life in the...ah, fuck you."

- After an explosive kill.

"Explosives make things so much easier!"

- After an explosive kill or Ray Gun kill.

"BOOM! You are dead!"

- After an explosive kill.

"Have a round on me! Get it? A "round"? Eh.. never mind, fuck you."

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Don't slip in the slime!"

- Upon killing a Gas Zombie.

"What is that smell? Maybe I sharted..."

- Upon killing a gas zombie

"You got slime on my uniform!"

- Upon killing a Gas Zombie.

"That smells disgusting... like my fourth wife. She pretty though... pretty and smelly, weird combo."

- Upon killing a Gas Zombie.

"Like the Fist of Stalin... up your ass!"

- Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"Feel the might of the Red Army!"

- Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"Do svidaniya, bitches!"

- Upon multiple kills. Do sdivania means "Good Bye" in Russian

"Never mess with a Russian when drinks are on the line!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Nikolai cannot die! Hey, that rhymes!"

- After a knife kill.

"Die, demon hell-pigs!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"I just killed a billion zombies... why is no one helping?"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Hey, you left your arm behind!"

- After destroying a zombie's limb.

"From Russia with great affection!"

- After killing a zombie, a reference to the movie From Russia with Love.

Being hit by a Zombie
"I like it rough, but not that rough."

- When getting attacked by a zombie.

"OW! My shins!"

- When getting attacked by a crawler.

"Hey, what's that? Oh, crawler!"

- When getting attacked by a crawler.

"You know how to say "owned" in Russian? OWNT!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"No it's my vodka! MINE! MY OWN!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"No touchie! ...I have issues."

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"You are dead now! But you were dead before! Ahh fuck you!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"You see what happens when you touch Nikolai?!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

Hellhound
"Come play "Fetch the Grenade", demon-spawn!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"They're trying to fetch our souls again!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"You don't want my soul, it probably tastes like vodka. Mmm... vodka."

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Out of my way, suka!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound (this is a wordplay, as in russian "suka" means both "bitch" and a female dog)

"Die, demon-spawn!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"No soul for you!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"Ugh...I think I got fur in my mouth"

- Killing a Hellhound

"Ugh...I think I got fur in my mouth"

- Killing a Hellhound

Down or revived
"I have made mess in trousers..."

- When downed.

"Well, maybe I have time for drink."

- When downed.

"Do not leave me to the maggots!"

- When downed.

"Oh, I feel stupid..."

- When downed.

"Come back! Nikolai can still fight!"

- When downed.

"Wha-what? I was only taking a nap!"

- After being revived.

"You see what happened to me, there were thousands!"

- After being revived.

"All right, all right, I'll get up all ready, sheesh..... like mother."

- After being revived.

"What? Break-time's over now?"

- After being revived.

"How do you say... "thank you" in Idiot?"

- After being revived.

Ammo
"Running low on ammunition!"

- When low on ammo.

"Running low on ammo! I'm drunk..."

- When low ammo.

"It's that clicking again! Oh, ammo!"

- When out of ammo.

"I'm out of ammo! Maybe I should just drink instead... piss on someone..."

- When out of ammo.

"When did I run out of ammo?"

- When out of ammo.

"Why is no one caring about my lack of ammo?"

- When out of ammo.

"Greedy capitalists dogs! Give me ammo!"

- When out of ammo

"Why am I always needing more ammo?"

- When out of ammo.

"If I don't find ammo, I'll have to kill them with my breath!"

- When out of ammo.

Buying off weapons off the wall
"Holding this up makes my arms so tired!"

- After buying a M14 off the wall.

"Hey, snipers may wear diapers, but we get all the ladies."

- Upon buying an M14 off the wall.

"Great! I can camp now! I hate moving around so much..."

- Upon buying an M14

"Alright, who else want to try and take me?"

- After buying any SMG off the wall.

"Come baby...we do the 59, eh? He he..."

- After buying any SMG from the wall.

"This is "nice and light"..."

- After buying any SMG off the wall.

"This will make demon-holes nicely!"

- After buying any SMG from the wall.

"A shotgun, now I just need a shot glass! He he!"

- After buying an Olympia off the wall.

"Please, I have no job!"

- When attempt to buy a weapon without requisite points.

"Such strength, such craftsmanship. Must be made in Motherland!"

- -When buying the Bowie Knife

Power-up
"Just what the doctor ordered!"

- Upon receiving a "Max-Ammo" power-up.

"Why am I so heavy now?"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"This is proper socialist reform!"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"It is happy hour!"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"Vodka for everybody!"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"Capitalists...if you can't beat them...you know..."

- Upon getting a Fire-Sale power-up

"Salute!"

- Upon getting the Nuke power-up

"What's happening? That music sucks."

- Upon getting a Fire Sale power-up.

"Nikolai is coming for you!"

- Upon getting an Insta-Kill power-up.

"A salute to the nuclear bomb!"

- Upon getting the Nuke power-up

"I drink to the nuclear bomb!"

- Upon getting a Nuke.

"Thank you!... disembodied girl voice!"

- Upon getting the Carpenter power-up.

"Great, I don't have to do anything!"

- Upon getting the Carpenter power-up.

Perk-a-Cola
"I think Dempsey is right. It is a bit fishy."

- Upon drinking Quick Revive.

"Reach for vodka tooooniiiiggghhht..."

- Upon drinking Jugger-nog.

"Why can I see so clearly now?"

- Upon drinking Speed Cola.

"My tap is doubled, but not my vodka."

- When Double Tap Root Beer is bought.

Pack-a-Punch
"This is like standing in grocery line!"

- While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"This better be good... costed enough!"

- While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"Don't worry guys! Nikolai is coming for you!"

- After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"Oh, I like, it's pretty!"

- After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"Such power, so smooth! Maybe this upgraded weapon is nice too..."

- Upon receiving a Pack-A-Punched weapon.

"Hurryhurryhurryhurryhurryhurry.......come on!!"

- Putting a gun in the Pack-A-Punch machine

Mystery Box
"I've got ninety-nine problems, but a gun ain't one, da!"

- After getting an Assault Rifle Galil from Mystery Box. A reference to "99 Problems,"a song by Jay-Z.

"I love this effing gun! Get it? FN? Just like... fuck!"

- After getting a FN FAL from Mystery Box.

"Snipers may wear diapers, but they get all the ladies!"

- After getting a sniper rifle from Mystery Box (also said after buying an M14).

"Hello beautiful, I'll 'cock' you gently."

- After getting a gun from Mystery Box.

"I never met an MG I didn't like"

- Upon getting an SMG from the Mystery Box

"Why? Why do you treat me like this?"

- After getting a Python from Mystery Box.

"Come box, share with me your treasures, not your junk!"

- After getting a CZ75 from Mystery Box.

"Ah, two pistols are better than one! And one pistol is better than... what?"

- After getting a Dual-Wielded CZ75 from Mystery Box.

"I will be able to take them out gangsta' style now!"

- After getting a Dual Wielded CZ75 from Mystery Box.

"This makes Nikolai very happy, like first date! ...I bring home flowers!"

- After getting a China Lake from Mystery Box.

"I drank so much, I moved to the future!"

- After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box.

"Such power... Such pride! It must be Russian made!"

- Upon receiving the Thundergun

"Hello Ray. Would you like to taste my vodka?"

- After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box.

"This looks like it comes from space, no?"

- After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box

"First it takes my money, then it disappears... just like my fourth wife!"

- After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"This little girl and her games. It's a sign of bad parenting."

- After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Oh well, maybe I'll just sit here and nap."

- When trying to use Mystery Box without requisite points.

"Fuck you, monkey!"

- After receiving a Monkey Bomb.

"I hate those fucking Monkeys."

- When getting the Monkey Bomb from Mystery Box

"This must be vodka power."

- Nikolai after obtain Thundergun from box.

"What?! That stripper must have stolen my money!"

- Trying to use the Mystery Box without enough points

Other
"The film must have been shit, this place is full of stiffs!"

- Upon turning on the power.

"Why do they insist on picking on me?"

- While being being chased by a swarm of zombies

"I will piss in style here!"

- Upon entering the bathroom in first floor.

"Another dark alley, I know this well."

- Upon gaining access to the alley.

"Hey Dempsey, I think you left your blush here!"

- Upon gaining access to the dressing room.

"Oh I found a rock, great."

- After finding the first piece of the meteor.

"I found another rock... but no vodka!"

- After finding the second piece of the meteor.

"Well, they do say the screen puts on ten pounds."

- After examining his portrait.

"Hey Dempsey! I think they got your bad side!"

- After examining Dempsey's portrait.

"I hate you, Takeo."

- After examining Takeo's portrait.

"Richtofen looks a little younger in this picture."

- After examining Richtofen's portrait.

"Hey! Someone took the image from this picture!"

- After examining the blacked-out portrait.

"I'll rescue you, but only because you owe me from last time!"

- When Takeo is being chased by a swarm of Zombies

"Richtofen, your children are becoming annoying!"

- Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"Oh, look! Our Mighty Warrior surrounded again!"

- Upon seeing Takeo chased by a swarm of Zombies.

Takeo Masaki
"We need to bring light to this dark place."

- At the beginning.

"There seems to be no power!"

- At the beginning.

"There is no power now! Perhaps there never was."

- At the beginning.

"We should go find the power box."

- At the beginning.

Quotes cut from Kino Der Toten.
"This will make for a fun time!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"I will SHOCK them into submission!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"I finally get the turn...with the Wunderwaffe."

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"BEHOLD! The Electric Katana!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"It is on now freakbags!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box (quoting Dempsey)

Killing a Zombie
"Shi-Ne!"

- Upon getting a kill. "Shi-Ne" means "die" in Japanese.

"My honor is bigger than yours!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"You die with no honor!"

- After a knife kill.

"Takeo one, Zombie zero!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Pew pew pew, ha ha ha."

- Upon getting a kill with Ray Gun.

"With the force of one thousand wombats YOU DIE!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Ugh, that thing couldn't possibly have been human!"

- Upon killing a gas zombie.

"Smells like rotten sushi!"

- Upon killing a gas zombie.

"Hyah!"

- Upon getting a knife kill

Being hit by a Zombie
"You kill me? No! I kill you!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"Not on this day, tormented soul!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"You had an unhappy ending! Ha ha ha!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"You lack focus!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

Hellhound
"I fear no dog!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Die, demon-spawn!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

Downed or revived
"This is not how I wish to die!"

- When downed

"This is without reason!"

- When downed

"I have fallen into darkness!"

- While downed

"Your karma has approved"

- After being revived

Ammo
"Need more ammunition!"

- When low ammo

"A true warrior needs no weapon!"

- When out of ammo.

"I have no ammo. I have no honor."

- When out of ammo.

"I will crush them with my bare hands!"

- When out of ammo.

"I am still better off with the Arisaka."

- When out of ammo.

Buying off weapons off the wall
"I will fire honor at them mightily!"

- After buying a PM63 off the wall.

"I will show them the path!"

- After buying a MPL off the wall.

"I need more honor!"

- When trying to buy a weapon without requisite points.

"This weapon is lighter than a feather, but twice as deadly."

- After buying the AK74U off of the wall.

"One by one, I shall curse them from afar!"

- After buying the M14 off of the wall.

Power-ups
"Double the honor!"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"You will feel the power in my veins!"

- Upon getting an Insta-Kill power-up.

"Quick, kill as many as you can!"

- Upon getting a Carpenter power-up

"That will keep them out for a thousand years... eh, a few seconds."

- Upon getting a Carpenter power-up.

"Let the light of a thousand suns purify your souls!"

- Upon getting a Nuke.

"Destruction rains on the unholy!"

- Upon getting a Nuke.

"...Nice timing!"

- Upon getting a Nuke.

Perk-a-Colas
"Hmm, a drink that requires a... mature palette."

- Upon drinking Quick Revive.

"Speed Cola speed up your might!"

- Upon drinking Speed Cola.

"I am fast shooting Eastern cowboy!"

- Upon drinking Double Tap Root Beer.

Pack-a-Punch
"This will make a weapon that will honor my ancestors."

- After putting a weapon inside the Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"A weapon is an extension of ones ownself."

- After taking a newly upgraded weapon out of the Pack-a-Punch.

Mystery Box
"I cannot be defeated!...Probably..."

- After getting an AUG from Mystery Box.

"I will turn them into red mist!"

- After getting a G11 from Mystery Box.

"Light as a feather, and twice as deadly!"

- After getting a Spectre from Mystery Box.

"I will steal what honor they have left!"

- After getting a L96A1 from Mystery Box.

"This does not suit a warrior!"

- After getting a Python from Mystery Box.

"A worthless weapon, from an honorless box!"

- After getting a CZ75 from Mystery Box.

"This gun fires pure honor!"

- After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box.

"I have acquired the Thundergun!"

- After getting a Thundergun from Mystery Box.

"*chuckling* The Emperor would be amused!"

- After getting a Monkey Bomb from Mystery Box.

"I am not yet ready for the ways of the box."

- When attempting to use the Mystery Box without requisite points.

Other
"Just breathe on them!"

- After Nikolai comments about getting swarmed.

"Oh!... Sounds like a big monster is attacking the building."

- After turning on the electricity. A reference to the film, "Godzilla".

"I found a piece of the meteor!"

- After found the first piece of the meteor.

"I found another piece of the meteor! Maybe they stole this from Japan!"

- Finding the second piece of the meteor. A reference to the meteor at Shi No Numa.

"I have found a grand secret!"

- Upon activating the "115" song easter egg.

"A picture of a great warrior!"

- After examining his portrait.

"Here is a picture of an ugly American! Eugh!"

- After examining Dempsey's portrait.

"The Russian is so drunk, I can smell his breath through this portrait!"

- After examining Nikolai's portrait.

"Perhaps what once was, is no more, but shall be again!"

- When examining the blacked out portrait.

"Honor to the doctor!"

- After examining Richtofen's portrait.

Edward Richtofen
"Oh joy! No power!"

- At the beginning.

"*impatiently* Ja, ja, the power needs to be turned on."

- At the beginning

"I cannot torture my minions without power... Dempsey, you go turn it on."

- At the beginning.

"Powerpowerpowerpower! It's always the first priority!"

- At the beginning.

"There is no power, how suspicious... or OBVIOUS!"

- At the beginning.

Quotes cut from Kino Der Toten.
"I have been recognized by Treyar--the Illuminati!"

- Unknown, note the last words being cut off, a reference to Treyarch.

Killing a Zombie
"Ah, the smell of delicate flesh, ja..."

- When Richtofen kills a large number of zombies

"Do you feel it? Oh I hope you did..."

- Upon getting a kill.

"Yes, COME TO ME, minions!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"I take your pain, I put my straw in it, *slurping noises* AND I DRINK IT UP!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"It hurts, doesn't it? GOOD!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"The life has been sucked out of that one"

- Upon getting a kill

"Aaaand... he is no longer with us"

- Upon getting an explosive kill

"Ah, smell so wunderbar!"

- After a knife kill. "wunderbar" means "wonderful" in German.

"No more Doctor Nice Guy!"

- After a knife kill.

"BLOOD! THE BEAUTIFUL BLOOD!"

- After a knife kill.

"Little organ parts for everyone!"

- Killing a zombie via explosive means

"Oh, it's the lovely blood!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"How can I hear the screams when it has no mouth?"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Oh, the showers of the damned!"

- After an explosive kill.

"*sings* Fountains of sorrow..."

- After an explosive kill.

"Yes, YES, explode!"

- After an explosive kill.

"*sings* All hail the Fuhrer..."

- Upon detonation of an explosive that killed a zombie.

"He went *splat*."

- Upon getting a kill with Olympia.

"Where did it go? I don't know!"

- Upon getting a kill with Ray Gun.

"Do you like my glowing green balls?"

- Getting a kill with the Ray Gun

"Poof! You are gone!"

- Getting a kill with the Ray Gun

"He's become random bits of joy!"

- Getting a kill with the Ray Gun

"The powers of nature at my fingertips!"

- Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"They are hurting... we must help them!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"This is MY creation! And I will destroy it! AND clean it up!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Ja, ja... DIE!!!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Don't be afraid of death, be afraid of THE DOCTOR!!!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Squishy Squishy little bug"

- Upon killing a gas zombie

"Now there is puss everywhere"

- Upon killing a gas zombie

"No, no! You're not supposed to fall apart like that!"

- After dismembering a zombie

"He can no longer fight, he is DISARMED! Ha ha!"

- After shooting off a zombie's hand or arm

"Look at it, crawling to me!"

- After destroying a zombie's leg.

"It has no legs, but still moves. Interesting."

- After destroying a zombie's leg.

"Dempsey, if you had a brain for everytime you had a headshot...you'd be stupid"

- After achieving multiple headshots in a row.

Being hit by a Zombie
"I can smell my own blood! FEAR ME!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"Get off my legs, minion!"

- When getting attacked by a crawler.

"Just DIE!"

- upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"How DARE you touch the doctor?"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"LEAVE ME BE!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"No touching the doctor, unless he asks..."

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

Hellhound
"Aww, the poor puppies!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"NEIN! NOT THE PUPPIES!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round. (Nein is German for No).

"What have you done to the POOR PUPPIES?!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Mommy told me not to hurt animals any more!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"My mother told me to stop hurting animals."

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"Go back to Maxis, Samantha!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"My poor little accidents... STAY AWAY!"

- At the start of a Hellhound round

Downed or revived
"IT TICKLES! IT TICKLES! I KNEW IT, IT TICKLES!"

- When downed.

"IT CANNOT BE! I'M DOWN!"

- When downed.

"No, no. I am not ready for hell, I don't even have my good shoes."

- When downed.

"I'll get you something nice when this is over."

- After being revived.

"I am ALIVE!!!"

- After being revived

"Did the voices tell you to save me?"

- After being revived.

"Ja, danke!"

- After being revived ('danke' is 'thanks' in German).

Ammo
"Low on ammo!"

- When low on ammo.

"How can I be running out of ammo?!"

- When low ammo

"Without bullets I will have to resort to... STABBING!"

- When out of ammo.

"I need to find some ammunition... *wailing*"

- When out of ammo.

"No ammo is no fun!"

- When out of ammo.

"I have no ammunition."

- When out of ammo.

"No rounds, no wounds, NO JOY!"

- When out of ammo.

Buying weapons off the wall
"Yes, now their kidneys will be all MINE! And none for you, Dempsey."

- After buying a M14 off the wall.

"What? The voices are louder!"

- Upon buying a MP5K off the wall.

"Oh, this is just so heavy!"

- Buying M14 off the wall

"A MP40! Wunderbar!"

- Upon buying a MP40 off the wall.

"Yes, my children, I am coming!"

- Upon buying an Olympia off the wall.

"Of course they still have the BEST WEAPON EVER MADE HERE!"

- Buying MP40 off the wall

"An autopsy is more easily performed with a shotgun."

- Upon buying a Stakeout off the wall.

"The Doctor is well-armed!"

- After buying a SMG off the wall

"What?! I am nothing but a peasant!"

- When attempting to buy a weapon without requisite points.

Power-ups
"A gift from Sam? But why?!"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"More time to play with my pretty ones!"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"Ammo to the max, ja?"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"Attention shoppers, we have a special... on death!"

- Upon getting a Fire Sale power-up.

"MORE SCORE!"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"I am paid for pain!"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"This must be the work of the Masons."

- Upon getting a Carpenter power-up.

"I feel some power!"

- Upon getting a Insta-Kill power-up.

"They seem to have all gone boom!"

- Upon getting a nuke

"The flames... of the damned!"

- Upon getting a Nuke.

"I get double the points because of my efforts!"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

Perk-a-Colas
"Yes! She sounds like a sweet little specimen."

- Upon drinking Jugger-nog.

"For the revival of the un-fittest!"

- Upon drinking Quick Revive.

"I can't be sure but I think the active ingredient rots your mind."

- Upon drinking Speed Cola.

Pack-a-Punch
"*whistling*"

- While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"I'm going to kill SOOO many now."

- After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"The Doctor is ready for war now!"

- After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"The Fatherland would be so proud! Such a shame..."

- After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"This machine takes so long!"

- While waiting on the Pack-a-Punch Machine

Mystery Box
"I like the funny sound it makes!"

- After receiving the FN FAL, Ray Gun, or the Galil from the Mystery Box.

"They will submit to darkness... YES!"

- After getting a HK21 from Mystery Box.

"I can kill more than one at a time!"

- After getting a Dragunov from Mystery Box.

"Ugh, this is just so... heavy."

- After getting a L96A1 from Mystery Box.

"Ja, this make a big hole! I like it..."

- After getting a SPAS-12 from Mystery Box.

"They will be all over the walls! And the ceiling! And the floor!"

- After getting an explosive weapon from the Mystery Box.

"Could it be? The DG-3!"

- After getting a Thundergun from Mystery Box.

"Could this be the DG-3, the DG-3 that is just for me?"

- After getting a Thundergun from Mystery Box.

"So THIS is what Maxis was keeping from me!"

- After getting a Thundergun from Mystery Box.

"I will please you now... THE VOICES!"

- After getting a SPAS-12 or China Lake from the Mystery Box

"Samantha, I talked to you about this."

- After getting a Teddy Bear from Mystery Box.

"Maybe you move it... because you like me?"

- After the Mystery Box teleports

"RATATATATATATAT!!"

- Upon receiving a sub-machinegun from the Mystery Box

"Why do they love you so much, little monkey?"

- After recieving the Monkey Bomb from the Mystic Box

Other
"Alas, the doctor is too poor to buy this..."

- When attempt to open a door without requisite points.

"Dempsey, I hate you. I hate your ugly voice."

- Randomly when Dempsey talks.

"I hate you Dempsey. I even hate your eyes."

- After witnessing Dempsey gets a kill.

"Look at the big American hero needing help from the doctor"

- After Dempsey comments about getting swarmed.

"Dempsey made a crawler, now everyone can do it"

- After Dempsey destroys a zombie's leg's

"Ah, the bathroom, not a very intersting place, unless you're German... LIKE ME!!!"

- Upon entering the bathroom at first floor.

"Doctor Maxis almost had his undead army if only he could have broken the trust barrier."

- Upon entering the dressing room.

"They are shaking down the roof, what a pity!"

- After the power is switched on.

"I found a piece of the meteor!"

- After found the first piece of the meteor.

"I found another rock! Maybe they stole this from Japan..."

- Finding the second piece of the meteor. Reference to the meteor in Shi No Numa

"I have found a magnificent tune!"

- Upon activating the "115" song easter-egg.

"Oh look, its me... but not quite as magnificent!"

- After examining his portrait.

"Hello Dempsey. Oh, wait, its just a portrait... AN UGLY ONE!"

- After examining Dempsey's portrait.

"It's eyes are following me!"

- After examining Nikolai's portrait.

"Oh, it's a picture of the Monkey Bomb!"

- After examining Takeo's portrait.

"This one did not photograph so well."

- After examining the blacked-out portrait.

Trivia

 * PC game files reveal recorded quotes from all four characters referring to the Wunderwaffe DG-2 and the Flamethrower (which isn't a standalone weapon in the game). It is unknown why either were removed. Many of these cut quotes can be heard in maps that feature these weapons.