Kino der Toten/Quotes

Beginning
"No power, no glory."

- At the beginning.

"Aw, are you freakin' kidding me? No power!"

- At the beginning.

"Well well well. Look's like there ain't no power."

- At the beginning.

"Gonna have to get the power on, it's like déjà vu all over again."

- At the beginning.

"Yep, *sigh* just as I suspected. We need to get the power on."

- At the beginning.

"No power. How original."

- Beginning a match

Killing a Zombie
"Get back, you reekass nasty squag!"

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"Back off, meatmouth!"

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"You smell like a pool of shit, freakbag!"

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"Too close, brain-maggot!"

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"Move it! This ain't cuddle time!"

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"You get any closer, I'll gonna' have to introduce you to my mother!"

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"Thank you! Drive-thru!"

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"Look at that mess I made...Oorah."

- After killing lots of zombies in a row.

"I gotta give ya credit zombie, you got no quit in ya!"

- Upon getting a kill.

"Die! Again! Bonebag!"

- Upon killing a legless/footless zombie.

"You're buried for good now!"

- Upon killing a legless/footless zombie.

"Stay dead, cheesehead!"

- Upon killing a legless/footless zombie.

"Finally put down where you belong!"

- Upon killing a legless/footless zombie.

"Uh-uh! Not a chance, stumpy!"

- Upon killing a legless/footless zombie.

"Motherless flesh-addict!"

- After a knife kill.

"I'm gonna' do a jig in your insides, freakbag!"

- After a knife kill.

"Eat my blade, maggot-sack!"

- After a knife kill.

"Taste this, bone-junkie!"

- After a knife kill.

"RARGH!!!"

- After a knife kill.

"Die, DIE!!!!"

- After a knife kill.

"Blew em' to high hell!"

- After an explosive kill.

"AWESOME!"

- After an explosive kill.

"Not a chance, bonemaggots!"

- After an explosive kill.

"Hey, freak-bag! You need to learn when to die!"

- After an explosive kill.

"Gotta give him credit, he's not about to quit!"

- After an explosive kill.

"I guess they need to get blown up again!"

- After an explosive kill.

"Stupid undead flesh monkeys! You're dead already!"

- After an explosive kill.

"There's just somethin' so beautiful about blowin' shit up!"

- After an explosive kill.

"Blood-sucking gutter-slugs, are goin' out Dempsey-style!"

- After an explosive kill.

"Oo-fuckin'-rah!"

- After an explosive kill.

"Whoo-hoo! Haven't lost a touch!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Cracked him right in the dome!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"I should get twice the points for that shot!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Of course I skulled it! What else would I do?!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Slug to the skull! Nice."

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Hope you can appreciate a perfect shot!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"No head. No dinner. Awesome."

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Squish! Ha!!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Pop! Right in the head!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Can't eat meat without a mouth!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Argh! Fuck me that smells!"

- After killing a Gas Zombie.

"Richtofen! Lay off the sauerkraut, man!"

- After killing a Gas Zombie

"How do ya like that, creepy crawler!"

- After killing a Gas Zombie.

"Argh! Those things need to see the sunshine every once in a while!"

- After killing a gas zombie.

"He just... he just blew all over the place! *laughs* Wow!"

- Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"Let's send those freakbags back to 1946!"

- Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"Okay, woah! That was bad-ass!"

- Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"*in advertising voice* Killing zombies in one simple step! Batteries not included."

- When getting multiple kills with the Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"Killing zombies since 1945! Ooh-Ra!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Die you undead flesh-whores!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Hey zombies, you're dying over here!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"More dead here than a goth party!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"You keep coming, I'll keep killing!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Oh yeah, That little dude is badass!"

- Upon getting a kill with a Monkey Bomb.

Being hit by a Zombie
"Eat it ,ya nasty squag!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"Die, you undead flesh-addict!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"K to the I to the A, Zombitch!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him, reference to status K.I.A (Killed in Action)

"You had no chance, bonemonkey!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him

"Look out, freakbag! I bite back!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him

"Get off of me!"

- Upon being hit by a legless/footless zombie.

"L'eggo of my boots, stumpy!"

- Upon being hit by a legless/footless zombie.

"Aw! You're gettin' pus all over my pants!"

- Upon being hit by a legless/footless zombie.

"You wanna' lick my boots, freakbag?!"

- Upon being hit by a legless/footless zombie.

"Knee-biting maggot!"

- Upon being hit by a legless/footless zombie.

"Hand it with the humpy, stumpy!"

- Upon being hit by a legless/footless zombie.

Hellhound
"Ah great... this again!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Bring on the dogs!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"I ain't gonna be any puppy's chew toy!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Time to put you down puppy-dog!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Fetch my grenade, devil voice!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Fuck you, Fido!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"Down, boy!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"That's the last leg you'll ever hump!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"Damn! That was hot!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"Bad doggie!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"Woah! It just blew up!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

Downed or revived
"Fucker caught me napping!"

- When downed. He also says this quote in Der Riese.

"Man down, MAN DOWN!"

- When downed.

"My gun was jammed, else that wouldn't have happened."

- Said when being revived.

"Ahh shit, this is embarrassing!"

- When downed. He also says this quote in Der Riese.

"Someone wanna help me out here?"

- When downed.

"I hope you choke, meat-sack!"

- When downed. He also says this quote in Der Riese

"Lucky bone-sucking maggot-whores... they're really gonna pay now!"

- After being revived.

"Whatever... even a blind squirrel is right twice a day."

- After being revived.

"So they got a little lucky... WHAT?!"

- After being revived.

"Don't worry, just tripped."

- After being revived.

Ammo
"Feeling light. Need the juice."

- When low ammo.

"Gonna need some juice soon!"

- When low ammo.

"Gotta' get some more rounds."

- When low ammo.

"Need some more ammo."

- When out of ammo.

"Knee deep in zombie shit with no ammo! Glorious!"

- When out of ammo.

"Hey! Player! I need more ammo or we're going down!"

- When out of ammo.

"Hey! Player! Drop the chips and get me some ammo!"

- When out of ammo.

"I need to find some lead or I'm gonna' get bored here!"

- When out of ammo.

"Damn! I'm outta' juice!"

- When out of ammo.

"Gonna have to round up some rounds!"

- When low on ammo or out of ammo.

"I need more ammunition! Ahh!! Ahh!!"

- When low on ammo or out of ammo.

Buying weapons off the wall
"The only thing better than an M16 is... well, two M16s!"

- After buying a M16 off the wall.

"Ah, the M16. 5.56 millimeter magazine-fed gas-operated sweetness... just like me."

- After buying a M16 off the wall.

"Wonder if they'll even know what hit them. Ha ha!"

- After buying a M14 off the wall.

"Little gun, lots of holes!"

- Buying a SMG off the wall

"I'm gonna spill their guts all over the place, haha!"

- After buying an Olympia off the wall.

"Nothing like a SMG! haha."

- After buying an AK-74u off the wall.

"Hey zombie! Wanna try out my new gun?"

- Buying an SMG off the wall

Power-up
"Whoo! More shit to kill with!"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"RE-JUICED!"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"Ammunition on the house!"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"Wait, we ARE keeping score?"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up. A possible reference to a quote made in Der Riese.

"Shoot 'em up!"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"Well, that'll keep 'em.... for now."

- Upon getting a Carpenter power-up

"NUUUKE!"

- Upon getting a Nuke.

"KA-BOOOOM!"

- Upon getting a Nuke.

"BOOM FUCKING RAH, Maggotaddicts!"

- Said upon getting a nuke.

"Eat that ya undead flesh monkeys!"

- Upon getting a Nuke.

"Man up Zombies, it's time to die."

- Upon getting Insta-Kill.

"Attention freakbags, everything must go!"

- Upon getting a Fire Sale.

Perk-a-Cola
"Tastes like... fermented herring dipped in cat piss... blaugh."

- Upon drinking Quick Revive.

"Yeah, that hit the spot."

- Upon drinking Speed Cola.

"Reach for me, Jugger Girl. Oo-rah."

- Upon drinking Juggernog.

"Ugh, why is this stuff so damn chewy?"

- Upon drinking Double Tap Root Beer.

Pack-a-Punch
"Wonder if Richtofen has gears like that in his head."

- While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"Man... I wish we could replace Richtofen with a hot chick, I'm getting lonely here."

- While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine. A possible reference to Richtofen's Grand Scheme.

"Pack a punch, just like me."

- While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"C'mon Pack-a-Punch, you better hurry up!"

- While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine. A reference to how players have a limited time to pack-a-punch and grab their gun before they teleport again.

"Hell yeah, Dempsey gets an upgrade!"

- After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"Bring it on, freak-sacks!"

- After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

'''"A fire-breathing shotgun? Tears me up just thinking about it!"

- After getting Hades from the Pack-a-Punch Machine '''

"(Laughs) And I thought this couldn't get any better!"

- After Recieving the Mustang and Sally from the Pack-a-Punch machine.

Mystery Box
"Time to die, bone-jaw!"

- After getting a Commando from Mystery Box.

"Little gun, lots of holes."

- After getting a Spectre from Mystery Box.

"This is gonna turn'em into red mist!"

- After getting a Spectre, SMG or possibly the Ray Gun from the Mystery Box.

"No more nice guy bone-jaw, I'm gonna kick your ass."

- After getting a SPAS-12 from Mystery Box.

"Time to make some noise!"

- After getting a HS-10 from Mystery Box.

"Well, I see the future hasn't changed anything! Fucking box!"

- After getting a Python or CZ75 from the Mystery Box.

"That's just craptastic!"

- After getting a Python or CZ75 from the Mystery Box.

"At least this thing doesn't cost real money!"

- After getting a Python or CZ75 from the Mystery Box.

"*Laughs* Almost nothin'!"

- After getting a Python or CZ75 from the Mystery Box.

"Monkey! So glad to see you again, buddy!"

- After getting a Monkey Bomb from Mystery Box.

"Aww, what a cute little bundle of C4!"

- After getting a Monkey Bomb from Mystery Box.

"*chuckles* Hey, Box! Fuck you!"

- After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"You keep on laughin', little girl! When I find you! You're grounded!"

- After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Man! Why does it always do that to me!"

- After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Ah, I didn't want a new gun anyway!"

- After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Oh, of course! I get the damn teddy bear!"

- After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Can't roll the bet if I can't place the dice!"

- When trying to use the Mystery Box without enough points.

"Check out those cool lights and buttons..."

- After receiving the Thundergun.

"Oh, they are gonna dig this!!!"

- After Receiving the Ray Gun.

"(In a taunting voice) I got the Ray Gun!"

- After Receiving the Ray Gun.

"Well Ray, it's you and me against the world."

- After receiving the Ray Gun.

Interactive
'''"Nice shot, Takeo!"

- When Takeo gets a headshot '''

'''"Beautiful!"

- When Takeo gets a headshot '''

'''"Perfect! As I would expect from a soldier like you!"

- When Takeo gets a headshot '''

'''"Keep it up, Takeo! You're gonna' be USMC honored!"

- When Takeo gets a headshot '''

'''"Do it again, Tak!"

- When Takeo gets a headshot '''

'''"Oh, you turned it's head inside out! OORAH!"

- When Takeo gets a headshot '''

'''"We're coming, Takeo!"

- When Takeo is swarmed '''

'''"Hang in, Tak! On the way!"

- When Takeo is swarmed '''

'''"Covering fire on its way for ya, Tak!"

- When Takeo is swarmed '''

'''"We gotta go help out Takeo!"

- When Takeo is swarmed '''

'''"Takeo's in trouble! Gotta' help him!"

- When Takeo is swarmed '''

'''"Nice work, Takeo! But, you missed some."

- When Takeo makes a crawler '''

'''"We have a knee-biter comin' in!"

- When Takeo makes a crawler '''

'''"Watch out for the crawler!"

- When Takeo makes a crawler '''

'''"You see what you did there, Takeo!"

- When Takeo makes a crawler '''

'''"Hey! Takeo! Some of it's still alive!"

- When Takeo makes a crawler '''

'''"Wind 'em up and let 'em loose, Takeo!"

- When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"Unleash the little guy, Takeo!"

- When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"Use the monkey, Takeo! I like its little song!"

- When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"Blow em' to hell, Takeo!"

- When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"Hey Takeo! Wind it up and see if Richtofen will chase it down!"

- When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"Lucky shot!"

- When Richtofen gets a headshot '''

'''"Richtofen's all surrounded! Let's leave him to his friends!"

- When Richtofen is swarmed '''

'''"Seriously, Richtofen, you gotta at least TRY to kill the thing!"

- When Richtofen makes a crawler '''

'''"Richtofen, stop playing with your monkey, man!"

- When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb '''

Other
"Haha, and you thought I wouldn't find it."

- Upon entering the bathroom at first floor.

"No time for sugar, baby. I'm here to check the meter!"

- Upon entering the dressing room.

"Hey, check it out! I'm outside!"

- Upon gaining access to the alley.

"Alright, I always did want a spot on the big screen."

- After the power is turned on and then, entering the theater.

"Another easter egg. Ha! How do they do it."

- Upon entering the foyer.

Meteorite Quotes
"Looks like part of a meteor."

- After having the first piece of the meteor. Tank Dempsey Meteorite First Piece BO.ogg

"Here's another one!"

- After found the second piece of the meteor.

"This has gotta be the last piece."

- After finding the last piece of the meteor. Tank Dempsey Meteorite Last Piece BO.ogg

"I found the hidden song. Awesome!"

- Upon activating the "115" song easter egg. Tank Dempsey Meteorite Musical Easter Egg Activated BO.ogg

Portrait Quotes
"Ahh, a tale of two Dempseys. Starts slow, but, has a happy ending."

- After examining his portrait.

"Whoa, looks like Nikolai's put on a few pounds. What's he been eatin'?"

- After examining Nikolai's portrait.

"Awwwww, our little bundle of badass."

- After examining Takeo's portrait.

"His portrait's bigger than anyone elses. Must be trying to compensate for somethin'."

- Upon examining Richtofen's portrait.

"Hey, look! It's nobody!"

- After examining the blacked-out portrait.

Cut Quotes
"The Waffle! Killing zombies made easy in one single step. Batteries included."

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box. (Said in a very fast, commercial-sounding voice.)

"Element 115. Concentrated to a single beam of pure badassery...wait...how the hell do I know that?"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box. Note reference to the brainwashing effect caused by Element 115 on Takeo, Nikolai, and Dempsey.

"The DG-2... one slick piece of machinery."

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"Wonder Waffle...yeah. Thing 'o beauty."

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"Hey zombies! You like Waffles?"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"Welcome to the party meatsacks!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"They got ZERO chance against me and the Wonder Waffle!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"You see that? HOLY SHIT BALLS!"

- Killing zombie/s with the Wunderwaffe DG-2

"Time to fry freakmaggots!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"BZZZ! ZAP! Woohoo!"

- Killing zombie/s with the Wunderwaffe DG-2

"BURN!"

- Killing zombie/s with the M2 Flamethrower

"That smells a little like popcorn."

- Killing zombie/s with the flamethrower

"Woo! You want fries with that?!"

- Killing zombie/s with the flamethrower

"Mmm. That's some well done meat right there."

- Killing zombie/s with the flamethrower

"Burn in hell, you skull sucking maggot!"

- Killing zombie/s with the flamethrower

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Beginning
"Maybe someone should go turn on the power now."

- At the beginning.

"No power! Just like home."

- At the beginning.

"I think we need to do something about the power."

- At the beginning.

"Who didn't pay the electric bill?"

- At the beginning.

"We should go find the fuse box."

- At the beginning.

Killing a Zombie
"Out of my way piz-da!"

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"Move it! Coming through!"

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"You got puss on my new shirt!..I have to dry clean now!"

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"You capitalist pigdogs!"

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"It tried to take my vodka!"

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"Die by the hand of Nikolai! Hey, dat rhyme, heh..."

- Upon getting a kill when "Insta-Kill" is on.

"Die now, son of bitch!"

- Upon getting a kill when Insta-Kill is on.

"Do svidaniya, bitches!"

- Upon getting a kill when Insta-Kill is on. ("Do svidaniya" meaning "goodbye" in Russian.)

"Euuuaaaaghhhhhh!!"

- Upon getting a kill when Insta-Kill is on.

"I'll drink to your death"

- Upon getting a kill when Insta-Kill is on.

"Now that's what I call a goulash!"

- Killing multiple zombies with an explosive weapon

"You fall like coddled bourgeois."

- When getting multiple kills

"I made a very big mess."

- When getting multiple kills

"No it's MY VODKA! MINE! MY OWN!"

- When getting multiple kills

"Death to you, demon-spawn!"

- When getting multiple kills

"I just killed a billion zombies! Why is no one helping?!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Good hellspawns! Die!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Like wheat before scythe."

- Upon multiple kills.

"Nikolai cannot die. Hey, that rhymes!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Hey guys, look what I did."

- Upon multiple kills.

"The Red Army cannot be overrun!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Ha! You cannot even beat a drunk Soviet!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"NEVER mess with a Soviet!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"No! No vodka for you!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"If that's all you got. Maybe, I'm not drinking enough."

- Upon multiple kills.

"STAY AWAY FROM MY VODKA! What? It's a classic!"

- After an explosive kill.

"This fucking gun is amazing!"

- Getting a kill with the Ray Gun

"That was satisfying."

- Getting a kill with the Ray Gun

"I've got more for you."

- Getting a kill with the Ray Gun

"No chance for you, hellpig!"

- Getting a kill with the Ray Gun

"No more drinks for you! You've been cut off. heh."

- Getting a kill with the Ray Gun

"They were here, now they're not. Such is life in the...ah, fuck it."

- After an explosive kill.

"Explosives make things so much easier."

- After an explosive kill.

"BOOM! You are dead!"

- After an explosive kill.

"Have a round on me! Get it? Because... never mind, fuck you."

- Upon getting a headshot.

"I can barely see, but that sounded like it hit his head!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Right between the glaza (eyes)!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Either I'm good or I'm drunk. I hit two zombies with one bullet!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Your misery has ended, comrade."

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Die AGAIN, hellpig!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Never mess with a Russian when drinks are on the line!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Somehow, I have good aim!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Poor Russian lost his head."

- Upon getting a headshot.

"My aim is straight. My vision is blurry."

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Don't slip in the slime!"

- Upon killing a Gas/Crawler Zombie.

"What's that smell? Maybe I sharted."

- Upon killing a Gas/Crawler zombie

"DIE slime thing, DIE! DIE!"

- Upon killing a Gas/Crawler zombie

"You got slime on my uniform!"

- Upon killing a Gas/Crawler Zombie.

"*sniffs* Ugh, that smells disgusting, like my fourth wife... She pretty though.. pretty and smelly, weird combo."

- Upon killing a Crawler Zombie.

"Like the fist of Stalin... up your ass."

- Upon getting a kill with the Thundergun.

"Crushed under the might of the Red Army!"

- Upon getting a kill with the Thundergun.

"How do you like that, demons!"

- Upon getting a kill with the Thundergun.

"DIE, you filthy dogs!"

- Upon getting a kill with the Thundergun.

"Oh..They're splattered all over the place now."

- Upon getting a kill with the Thundergun.

"Nikolai cannot die! Hey, that rhymes!"

- After a knife kill.

"Die, demon hell-pigs!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"You left your arm behind!"

- After destroying a zombie's limb.

"He's half the zombie he used to be."

- After destroying a zombie's limb.

"Limbless creature, I still have no pity."

- After destroying a zombie's limb.

"He can't sip from his bottle anymore."

- After destroying a zombie's limb.

"I will put you out of your misery now."

- After destroying a zombie's limb.

"From Russia with great affection!"

- After killing a zombie, a reference to the movie From Russia with Love.

"Oh sure, you grovel, but you still cannot have any vodka!"

- Upon spawning a legless/footless zombie.

"Looks like I didn't get all of him."

- Upon spawning a legless/footless zombie.

"He is persistent, like begging pheasant!"

- Upon spawning a legless/footless zombie.

"Hey! Look what your doing to the floor!"

- Upon spawning a legless/footless zombie.

"He's crawling back to me, just like good women. Heh."

- Upon spawning a legless/footless zombie.

"It pains me to kill you again, comrade."

- Upon getting a kill on a legless/footless zombie.

"That one isn't a problem anymore."

- Upon getting a kill on a legless/footless zombie.

"If only I had time to piss on you too."

- Upon getting a kill on a legless/footless zombie.

"Die, you filthy creature!"

- Upon getting a kill on a legless/footless zombie.

"Stand up and say that to my face!"

- Upon getting a kill on a legless/footless zombie.

"Screw all of you!"

- Upon getting a kill with the Monkey Bomb.

"I think the zombies hate you monkey!"

- Upon getting a kill with the Monkey Bomb.

"I can't believe that works."

- Upon getting a kill with the Monkey Bomb.

"I knew that monkey was good for something."

- Upon getting a kill with the Monkey Bomb.

"Good! That song was driving me nuts."

- Upon getting a kill with the Monkey Bomb. A reference to a similar quote in Der Riese.

Being hit by a Zombie
"OW! My shins!"

- When getting attacked by a crawler.

"What was that? Oh, crawler!"

- When getting attacked by a crawler.

"Stay off my boots, hellpig!"

- When getting attacked by a crawler.

"Stop scratching me!"

- When getting attacked by a crawler.

"Get off of me, swine."

- When getting attacked by a crawler.

"Die, Satan's minions!"

- When getting attacked by a zombie.

"I like it rough, but not that rough!"

- When getting attacked by a zombie.

"You know how to say "owned" in Russian? OWNT!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"No it's my vodka! MINE! MY OWN!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"No touchie! ...I have issue."

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"You are dead now! But you were dead before! Ah, fuck you!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"You see what happens when you touch Nikolai?!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

Hellhound
"Let's play "Fetch the Grenade", demon's spawn!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Come suka, I have vodka for you."

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"They are trying to fetch our souls again!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"You don't want my soul, it probably tastes like vodka. Mmm... vodka."

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"I think there are dogs coming now."

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Die, helldog!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"Woof. Woof. Die, demon-spawn!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"Down, suka!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound. (suka Translates to Bitch in russian)

"No soul for you!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"*spits* Ugh...it got fur in my mouth"

- Killing a Hellhound

Down or revived
"I have made mess in trousers..."

- When downed.

"Maybe I have time for drink."

- When downed. A reference to a similar quote in Der Riese.

"Do not leave me to the maggots!"

- When downed. A reference to a similar quote in Der Riese.

"Oh, I feel stupid..."

- When downed. A reference to a similar quote in Der Riese.

"Come back! Nikolai can still fight!"

- When downed. A reference to a similar quote in Der Riese.

"Wha-what? I was only taking a nap!"

- After being revived.

"You see what happened to me? There were thousands!"

- After being revived.

"All right, all right, I'll get up all ready, sheesh..... *quietly* like mother."

- After being revived.

"What? Is breaktime over now?"

- After being revived.

"How do you say... "thank you" in Idiot?"

- After being revived.

Ammo
"Getting low on ammunition!"

- When low on ammo.

"Running low on ammo! I'm drunk..."

- When low ammo.

"Greedy capitalist dogs! Give me ammo!"

- When low of ammo

"Why am I always needing more ammo?"

- When low of ammo.

"If I don't find ammo, I will have to kill them with my breath!"

- When low of ammo.

"It's that clicking again! Oh, ammo!"

- When out of ammo.

"Hey, where is all the ammo at?"

- When out of ammo.

"I'm out of ammo! Maybe I should just drink instead... piss on someone..."

- When out of ammo.

"When did I run out of ammo?"

- When out of ammo.

"Why is no one caring about my lack of ammo?"

- When out of ammo.

Buying off weapons off the wall
"Holding this up makes my arms so tired."

- After getting a sniper from the Mystery Box or M14

"Hey... snipers may wear diapers, but we get all the ladies. eh? Hey hey."

- Upon buying an M14 off the wall.

"I can camp somewhere and not have to move so much. Good. I get tired."

- Upon buying an M14 off the wall.

"Alright, who wants to try and take me?"

- After buying any SMG off the wall.

"Eheheh. Come baby...we do the 59, eh? He he..."

- After buying any SMG from the wall.

"This is "nice and light"..."

- After buying any SMG off the wall.

"This will make demon-holes nicely!"

- After buying any SMG from the wall. (These SMG lines above are also said when getting a SMG from the Mystery Box.)

"A shotgun, now I just need a shot glass! He he!"

- After buying an Olympia off the wall.

"Please, I have no job!"

- When attempt to buy a weapon without requisite points.

"Such quality manufacturing. Must come from Motherland."

- When buying the Bowie Knife

"I will stab them in the back, like Stalin did me."

- When buying the Bowie Knife

"This weapon makes me happy."

- When buying the Bowie Knife

"I will cut them, like a filthy capitalist pig!"

- When buying the Bowie Knife

"What a sturdy piece of equipment!"

- When buying the Bowie Knife

Power-up
"Just what the doctor ordered."

- Upon receiving a Max Ammo power-up.

"Why am I so heavy now?"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"This is proper socialist reform!"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"It is happy hour!"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"Vodka for everybody!"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"Capitalism. If you can't beat them. Meh."

- Upon getting a Fire-Sale power-up

"If this were Russian, it would be free. Just big lines."

- Upon getting a Fire-Sale power-up

"Ugh, these lights are making me sick."

- Upon getting a Fire-Sale power-up

"What is happening? That music sucks. I need another drink."

- Upon getting a Fire Sale power-up.

"A Fire-Sale. I hope they have vodka."

- Upon getting a Fire Sale power-up.

"Salut!"

- Upon getting the Nuke power-up

"Nikolai is coming for you!"

- Upon getting an Insta-Kill power-up.

"Taste communist aggression, filthy wormtrain!"

- Upon getting an Insta-Kill power-up.

"I drink to the nuclear bomb!"

- Upon getting the Nuke power-up

"Die, demon hellpigs!"

- Upon getting a Nuke power-up.

"Oh good, I don't have to do anything."

- Upon getting the Carpenter power-up.

"That will keep em' out for a while."

- Upon getting the Carpenter power-up.

"Did you guys hear that voice?"

- Upon getting the Carpenter power-up.

"Stay out, helldogs!"

- Upon getting the Carpenter power-up.

"Thank you, disembodied girl voice."

- Upon getting the Carpenter power-up.

Perk-a-Cola
"I think Dempsey is right. It is a bit fishy."

- Upon drinking Quick Revive.

"Reach for vodka tooooniiiiggghhht..."

- Upon drinking Juggernog. (Said in song of "Jugger-Nog" tune.)

"Why can I see so clearly now?"

- Upon drinking Speed Cola.

"My tap is now doubled, but not my vodka!"

- When Double Tap Root Beer is bought.

Pack-a-Punch
"Uhh, this is like standing in grocery line!"

- While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"This better be good. It cost enough!"

- While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"Hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry! Come on!"

- Putting a gun in the Pack-A-Punch machine

"Waiting is good! I can have more drink!"

- Putting a gun in the Pack-A-Punch machine

"*snores* Eh, fuck you."

- Putting a gun in the Pack-A-Punch machine

"This Soviet is ready to fight now!"

- After receiving a H115 Oscillator.

"I will hold the demon-spawn at bay with this!"

- After receiving a H115 Oscillator.

"HK Goodness!"

- After receiving a H115 Oscillator.

"Die demon-spawn!"

- After receiving a H115 Oscillator.

"What I wouldn't give for two of these, heh."

- After receiving a H115 Oscillator.

"May you rest in pieces, zombies!"

- After receiving a H115 Oscillator.

"Don't worry guys! Nikolai is coming for you!"

- After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"Oh, I like, it's pretty!"

- After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"Such power, so smooth! And this upgraded weapon is nice too..."

- Upon receiving a Pack-A-Punched weapon.

"Heh, a weapon suitable for a Soviet."

- Upon receiving a Pack-A-Punched weapon.

"Da-BOOM!"

- Upon receiving a Pack-A-Punched weapon.

"Exactly what I need!"

- Upon receiving a Pack-A-Punched weapon.

"Oh I like! It's pretty!"

- Upon receiving a Pack-A-Punched weapon.

Mystery Box
"Got ninety-nine problems, but a gun ain't one, da!"

- After getting an Assault Rifle from Mystery Box. (Also said when buying an M16) and a reference to "99 Problems", a song by Jay-Z.

"Beats a hammer and sickle every time."

- After getting an Assault Rifle from Mystery Box. (Also said when buying an M16. Actually in all the lines below.)

"Ohhh, look it how shiny she is."

- After getting an Assault Rifle from Mystery Box.

"A toast to a brilliant weapon."

- After getting an Assault Rifle from Mystery Box.

"This should help me protect my vodka."

- After getting an Assault Rifle from Mystery Box.

"Hello zombies, I am coming for you!"

- After getting an Assault Rifle from Mystery Box.

"More bullets, more drinks. This is not so bad."

- After getting an Assault Rifle from Mystery Box.

"Magnificent!"

- After getting a FN FAL from Mystery Box.

"I love this FN gun! Get it? Cause it's a FN? like... fuck!"

- After getting a FN FAL from Mystery Box.

"I wish they had more vodka to go with falafel."

- After getting a FN FAL from Mystery Box.

"This FN FAL is good weapon, no?"

- After getting a FN FAL from Mystery Box.

"I like this."

- After getting a FN FAL from Mystery Box.

"They stand no chance against this Soviet."

- After getting a shotgun from the Mystery Box (also said after buying an Olympia or a Stakeout in the lines below.)

"Time to die now, zombies!"

- After getting a shotgun from the Mystery Box

"Nikolai will show them the way back to hell now!"

- After getting a shotgun from the Mystery Box

"A weapon like this will end them in a hurry!"

- After getting a shotgun from the Mystery Box

"12 gauge fury!"

- After getting a shotgun from the Mystery Box

"Hello beautiful, I will 'cock' you gently."

- After getting a sniper rifle from Mystery Box. (Also said when buying an M14 off the wall.)

"Now, I can keep my pants from getting bloodier. Hehey."

- After getting a sniper rifle from Mystery Box.

"A sniper rifle makes for much cleaner killing."

- After getting a sniper rifle from Mystery Box.

"I never met an MG I didn't like"

- Upon getting an SMG from the Mystery Box. (Also said when buying an SMG from the Mystery Box.)

"Why? Why do you treat me like this?"

- After getting a Python or CZ75 from the Mystery Box.

"Come box, share with me your treasures, not your junk!"

- After getting a Python or CZ75 from the Mystery Box.

"Ugh, Useless."

- After Getting a Python or CZ75 from the Mystery Box

"Ugh, I have better luck when I am drunk!"

- After getting a Python or CZ75 from the Mystery Box

"Ah, two guns are better than one! And one is better than, uh... what?"

- After getting Dual CZ75s from the Mystery Box.

"I will be able to take them out gangsta' style now!"

- After getting Dual CZ75s from the Mystery Box.

"Either I'm drunk, or I'm holding two guns!"

- Said after getting Dual CZ75s from the Mystery Box.

"How am I supposed to hold my vodka if I have to carry both of these?"

- Said after getting Dual CZ75s from the Mystery Box.

"This makes Nikolai very happy, like after first date! ...I bring home flower!"

- After getting a China Lake, M72 LAW, or Crossbow from Mystery Box.

"I will make Stalin proud!"

- After getting a China Lake, M72 LAW, or Crossbow from Mystery Box.

"This looks like fun!"

- After getting a China Lake, M72 LAW, or Crossbow from Mystery Box.

"Must've drank so much, I went to the future! Heh."

- After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box.

"It's like finding extra vodka in your pocket."

- After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box.

"Such power... Such pride! It must be Russian made!"

- Upon receiving the Thundergun

"Hello Ray. Would you like to taste my vodka?"

- After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box.

"This must come from outer space, no?"

- After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box

"Oooo, It's the Ray Gun! Hehehehe."

- After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box

"First it takes my money, then it disappears... just like my fourth wife!"

- After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"This little girl and her games. It's a sign of bad parenting."

- After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Does anyone else hear that or is it just me?"

- After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Either I'm drunk or that box is flying around?"

- After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Why hasn't somebody tried nailing this down?!"

- After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Oh well, maybe I'll just sit here and nap."

- When trying to use Mystery Box without requisite points.

"Fuck you, monkey!"

- After receiving a Monkey Bomb.

"No, Monkey, you may not have any vodka."

- After getting a Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box.

"Aiiiii...I think it's taunting me. I don't like monkey. Remind me of circus in Bagrationovsk."

- After getting a Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box.("Bagrationovsk" is a city in Russia.)

"I don't like it's beady little eyes."

- After getting a Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box.

"Why do play this annoying song, monkey?!"

- After getting a Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box.

"This must be vodka-powered."

- After obtaining Thundergun from the Mystery Box.

"Well, this looks new."

- After obtaining Thundergun from the Mystery Box.

"Such pride, such power. Must be Russian made."

- After obtaining Thundergun from the Mystery Box.

"Does this come with a cupholder?"

- After obtaining Thundergun from the Mystery Box.

"I really like these gadgets."

- After obtaining Thundergun from the Mystery Box.

Interactive
'''"Oorah, Dempsey!"

- When Dempsey gets a headshot '''

'''"That was a shot deserving a toast."

- When Dempsey gets a headshot '''

'''"Good shooting, Tank. Next wife, I call you."

- When Dempsey gets a headshot '''

'''"Maybe,I give you a small taste of vodka someday. Someday."

- When Dempsey gets a headshot '''

'''"I admire your aim Tank, but not your sobriety."

- When Tank gets multiple headshots. '''

'''"Back, hellpigs!"

- When Dempsey is swarmed '''

'''"On my way, Dempsey, but you owe me some vodka in return!"

- When Dempsey is swarmed '''

'''"Why are you not sharing, you fucking capitalist?!"

- When Dempsey is swarmed '''

'''"Dempsey is surrounded!"

- When Dempsey is swarmed '''

'''"Dempsey, maybe try giving 'em something and then, they go away!"

- When Dempsey is swarmed '''

'''"Nice shot Dempsey! But you missed a little bit."

- When Dempsey makes a crawler '''

'''"Watch for the crawler, Dempsey!"

- When Dempsey makes a crawler '''

'''"There is a crawler on the loose!"

- When Dempsey makes a crawler '''

'''"Dempsey, you made a crawler."

- When Dempsey makes a crawler '''

'''"He's not altogether dead yet, Dempsey."

- When Dempsey makes a crawler '''

'''"Dempsey, watch out for that evil monkey! He freak me out."

- When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"Watch out, Dempsey. It bites!"

- When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"Dempsey and monkey sitting in a tree. K I L L I N G. I spelled it right, right?"

- When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb. '''

'''"Set him loose, so it dies!"

- When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb. '''

'''"I like your monkey, Dempsey. But, not that little monster."

- When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb. '''

'''"So what, Takeo?"

- When Takeo gets a headshot '''

'''"Luck favors the weak."

- When Takeo gets a headshot '''

'''"You were 3 feet away. Big deal."

- When Takeo gets a headshot '''

'''"My little sister shoots better than you, Takeo!"

- When Takeo gets a headshot '''

'''"Let's throw a parade for our mighty but tiny warrior."

- When Takeo gets a headshot. Replaces "Bushido" to "but tiny." '''

'''"I'll come to your rescue, but only because you owe me from last time!"

- When Takeo is swarmed '''

'''"Takeo, you've made friends."

- When Takeo is swarmed '''

'''"Did they steal your sense of humor, Takeo?"

- When Takeo is swarmed '''

'''"Oh, look! Our Mighty Bushido Warrior is surrounded again! *high pitched* Hehyiiii!"

- Upon seeing Takeo chased by a swarm of Zombies. (The "hehyi" is said, taunting Takeo's Japanese sayings.) '''

'''"They must be attracted to your "honor!""

- Upon seeing Takeo chased by a swarm of Zombies '''

'''"Try killing it next time, Takeo!"

- When Takeo makes a crawler '''

'''"You never finish anything."

- When Takeo makes a crawler '''

'''"There's is more to kill still."

- When Takeo makes a crawler '''

'''"We have a crawler, Thanks to Takeo."

- When Takeo makes a crawler '''

'''"Thank you for sharing your misery, Takeo."

- When Takeo makes a crawler '''

'''"Not so honorable, are you, Takeo."

- When Takeo makes a crawler '''

'''"Maybe the evil monkey will eat YOU, Takeo!"

- When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"I hate you both."

- When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"The Mighty Warrior and his little doll."

- When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"Look out, Takeo. The monkey might wind YOU up! *laughs*"

- When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb '''

'''"heh. You guys make perfect couple. You are both ugly. Love to see your kids. *chuckles*"

- When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb '''

Other
"What! I did something?"

- Upon getting a Xbox 360 achievement/Playstation 3 Trophy.

"The film must've been shit, this place is full of stiffs!"

- Upon turning on the power.

"Uh, uh-oh. That sounds like trouble."

- When the Crawler Zombies spawn/turning on the power.

"Oh so. What's all that noise? It's making my headache worse!"

- When the Crawler Zombies spawn/turning on the power.

"Do you guys hear all that racket?"

- When the Crawler Zombies spawn/turning on the power.

"Now, it's going to happen."

- When the Crawler Zombies spawn/turning on the power.

"Perfect. More things to chase me around."

- When the Crawler Zombies spawn/turning on the power.

"Perfect, I shall piss in style here!"

- Upon entering the bathroom in first floor.

"Another dark alley, I know this well."

- Upon gaining access to the alley.

"Dempsey, I think you left your blush!"

- Upon gaining access to the dressing room.

"This place looks like my first apartment. Just less blood."

- Upon gaining access to the foyer.

"What?! That stripper must have stolen my money!"

- Trying to use a door/Perk-A-Cola/Pack-A-Punch without enough points

"Oh I found a rock, great."

- After finding the first piece of the meteor.

"I found another rock... but no vodka!"

- After finding the second piece of the meteor.

"Here's the last piece. What do I win?"

- After finding the third/last piece of the meteor.

"Hey Hey, I found something neat!"

- When he activates the musical easter egg

"Well, they do say the screen puts on ten pounds."

- After examining his portrait.

"Hey Dempsey! I think they got your bad side!"

- After examining Dempsey's portrait.

"I hate you, Takeo."

- After examining Takeo's portrait.

"Richtofen looks a little younger in this painting."

- After examining Richtofen's portrait.

"Hey! Someone stole the image from this picture!"

- After examining the blacked-out portrait.

"Richtofen, your children are becoming annoying!"

- Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"Why do they insist on picking on me?!"

- Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"You capitalist hellpigs, DIE!"

- Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"Meet the fury of the Red Army!"

- Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"You didn't bring enough hellpigs to take on a Soviet!"

- Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"I am surrounded by hellpigs!"

- Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"I think they're all trying to steal my vodka!"

- Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"Either I'm surrounded or I'm seeing double!"

- Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"Come quickly! I'm surrounded!"

- Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"Bad hellpigs, BAD!"

- Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"Come, let's dance to your butchka!"

- Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"I think I'm alone now. There doesn't seem to be anyone around.They're all around me now!"

- Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies. A reference to "I Think We're Alone Now", by multiple artists.

"You Bolshevik dogs!"

- Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"*sniffs* Alright, Which one of you crap your pants."

- Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"I gotta move or they'll take me down!"

- Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

Cut Quotes
"Anyone else smell bacon?"

- Upon killing a zombie with the M2 Flamethrower

"You DIE!"

- Upon killing a zombie with a flamethrower

"You are on fire, hellpig!"

- Upon killing a zombie with a flamethrower

"All this fire is making me sweat. Sweat vodka!"

- Upon killing a zombie with a flamethrower

"Taste the flames of hell!"

- Upon killing a zombie with a flamethrower

"Ey! It's a flamethrower!"

- Receiving a flamethrower from the Mystery Box

"Let's see if I can light my breath on fire. No,no,no,no! Come! Come look! This is funny!"

- Receiving a flamethrower from the Mystery Box

"Anyone need a light?"

- Receiving a flamethrower from the Mystery Box

"Da. Same weapon I used to kill my- oh- no, that was something else. I used iron."

- Receiving a flamethrower from the Mystery Box

"Hey Dempsey, I found a flamethrower. Jealous?"

- Receiving a flamethrower from the Mystery Box

"Hoho. Is it just me or is it getting hot in here. *chuckles*"

- Receiving a flamethrower from the Mystery Box

"Oh great! It's the Wonderfulwaffle!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"Hellpigs! I am coming!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"Now, this gun makes Nikolai a very happy cossack!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"This has more power than Moscow Electric Company!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"This ALMOST as strong as the best Russian vodka."

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"I have more for you!"

- Upon killing a zombie with the Wunderwaffe DG-2

"Taste the power of the Red Menace!"

- Upon killing a zombie with the Wunderwaffe DG-2

"Electrocution! Just like the gulag! What fun. Good times."

- Upon killing a zombie with the Wunderwaffe DG-2

"Ha! You die like the dogs that you are."

- Upon killing a zombie with the Wunderwaffe DG-2

"Heh, I think I saw his bone for a split-second."

- Upon killing a zombie with the Wunderwaffe DG-2

Beginning
"We need to bring light to this dark place."

- At the beginning.

"This place is dark. We need to find the light!"

- At the beginning.

"There seems to be no power!"

- At the beginning.

"There is no power now! Perhaps there never was."

- At the beginning.

"We should go find the power box."

- At the beginning.

Killing a zombie
"Your teeth will not cut into my flesh!"

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"Keep your hands to yourself, monster!"

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"You will not feel the flesh of the honorable!"

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"Always counter your enemy's movements!"

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"Your evil cannot infect the honorable!"

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"Daah, I'm soaked with your blood!"

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"My personal space must be preserved!"

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"You will never touch me, hell-beast!"

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"Shi-Ne!"

- Upon getting a knife kill. "Shi-Ne" means "die" in Japanese.

"My honor is bigger than yours!"

- Upon getting a knife kill.

"Now you die!"

- Upon getting a knife kill.

"Die, Monster!"

- Upon getting a knife kill.

"I send you to your ancestors!"

- Upon getting a knife kill.

"You die with no honor!"

- Upon getting a knife kill.

"Hyah!"

- Upon getting a knife kill.

"Die, foul creatures!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"I will not stop until you are all destroyed!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Return to darkness!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Continuance is strength, so I shall continue!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"When I am finished, none shall remain!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"You bring me great honor!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"There is no victory, only death!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"You cannot survive this!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Die, cursed beasts!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Feel the fist of the emperor!"

- Upon an explosive kill.

"Amazing!"

- Upon an explosive kill.

"With the force of one thousand wombats, YOU DIE!"

- Upon an explosive kill.

"You explode with honour!"

- Upon an explosive kill.

"You all kneel before the emperor!"

- Upon an explosive kill.

"Takeo one, Zombie zero!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"That is one for Takeo, zero for zombie!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Hmm. Impressive."

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Their head vanishes, then death."

- Upon getting a headshot.

"No supper for you!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"That is perfect training!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"I cannot allow you to stare at me!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Now your head is a threat to no one!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"You cannot harm us without a mouth!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"The beast never knew what hit him!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Eat my vengeance!"

- Upon killing a gas zombie.

"You are purified!"

- Upon killing a gas zombie.

"I take great pleasure in ending you!"

- Upon killing a gas zombie.

"There is no tomorrow for you!"

- Upon killing a gas zombie.

"I have taken care of the crawler!"

- Upon killing a gas zombie.

"Ugh, that thing could not ever have been human!"

- Upon killing a gas zombie.

"Smells like rotten sushi!"

- Upon killing a gas zombie.

"You have been purified!"

- Upon killing a gas zombie.

"I will rid the Earth of this plague!"

- Upon killing a gas zombie.

"Back to nothing with you!"

- Upon killing a gas zombie.

"The kamikaze strikes!"

- Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"Begone!"

- Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"The divine wind carries you away!"

- Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"Hadoken!"

- Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon. A hadoken is a fictional attack in the Street Fighter series involving a character shooting energy from their hands.

"Their bones are dust!"

- Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"Pew pew, pew pew, hahahahaha!"

- Upon getting a kill with Ray Gun.

"Your soul will not survive this!"

- Upon getting a kill with Ray Gun.

"You are eviscerated!"

- Upon getting a kill with Ray Gun.

"Such power!"

- Upon getting a kill with Ray Gun.

"You have been deemed unworthy!"

- Upon getting a kill with Ray Gun.

"The path of the unholy is always trumped by the pure!"

- Upon getting a kill with a Monkey Bomb.

"Taste the honor!"

- Upon getting a kill with a Monkey Bomb.

"Ahh, as fierce as he is cute!"

- Upon getting a kill with a Monkey Bomb.

"With honor you die, monkey."

- Upon getting a kill with a Monkey Bomb.

"Those stupid beasts!"

- Upon getting a kill with a Monkey Bomb.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

- Upon shooting a limb off.

"My honour is bigger than yours!"

- Upon shooting a limb off.

"It is rotting from the inside!"

- Upon shooting a limb off.

"No more meat for you!"

- Upon shooting a limb off.

"Give him a hand! (laughs)"

- Upon shooting a limb off.

"Its evil persists!"

- Upon making a legless zombie.

"That creature is possessed!"

- Upon making a legless zombie.

"Die, evil beast!"

- Upon making a legless zombie.

"Eat death, beast!"

- Upon making a legless zombie.

"You don't have enough honor to die!"

- Upon making a legless zombie.

Being hit by a Zombie
"You kill me? No! I kill you!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"Not on this day, tormented soul!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"You had an unhappy ending! Ha ha ha!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"Your strike was weak!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"You lack focus!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"Crawler!"

- Upon being hit by a legless/footless zombie.

"Get Back!"

- Upon being hit by a legless/footless zombie.

"Look out for the short zombie!"

- Upon being hit by a legless/footless zombie.

"Watch your feet!"

- Upon being hit by a legless/footless zombie.

"Stay off my uniform!"

- Upon being hit by a legless/footless zombie.

Hellhound
"I fear no dog!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"We have truly angered hell!"

- At the begginning of a Hellhound round.

"Hell has sent its hounds!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"These Hell-beasts must be destroyed!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"You may not take me!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"Die, demon-spawn!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"Die, dog!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"You cannot take that which is not yours!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"You are vanquished!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

Downed or revived
"I require assistance!"

- When downed.

"Is this how it ends?"

- When downed.

"This is not how I wish to die!"

- When downed.

"This is without reason!"

- When downed.

"This cannot be!"

- When downed.

"I have fallen into darkness!"

- When downed.

"Your karma has approved"

- After being revived.

"You have much honor..."

- After being revived.

"Nana korobi, ya oki."

- After being revived. A Japanese proverb meaning "fall seven times, stand up eight."

"Even monkeys fall from trees!"

- After being downed.

"Meditation time over!"

- After being revived.

Ammo
"My weapon is low on honour."

- When low on ammo.

"I will soon need ammunition."

- When low on ammo.

"This weapon will be useless without bullets!"

- When low on ammo.

"I should go look for more ammunition."

- When low on ammo.

"Where is my ammunition?"

- When low on ammo.

"Need more ammunition!"

- When low ammo

"A true warrior needs no weapon!"

- When out of ammo.

"I have no ammo. I have no honor."

- When out of ammo.

"Vengeance waits for no ammunition!"

- When out of ammo.

"I will crush them with my bare hands!"

- When out of ammo.

"I am still better off with the Arisaka."

- When out of ammo.

Buying weapons off the wall
"I will fire honor at them mightily!"

- After buying an SMG off the wall.

"I will show them the path!"

- After buying an SMG off the wall.

"I need more honor!"

- When trying to buy a weapon without requisite points.

"This weapon is lighter than a feather, but twice as deadly."

- After buying an SMG off of the wall.

"One by one, I shall curse them from afar!"

- After buying the M14 off of the wall.

"It's almost a katana."

- Upon buying the Bowie Knife.

"Shiny!"

- Upon buying the Bowie Knife.

"An honorable weapon."

- Upon buying the Bowie Knife.

"Sometimes, I like to keep them close."

- Upon buying the Bowie Knife.

"I will stab with perfection!"

- Upon buying the Bowie Knife.

Power-ups
"Oh... blessings come from above!"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up

"The tide tips in our favour!"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"The spirits come to aid us!"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"Double the honor!"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"Now we can continue the fight!"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"The path of the virtuous gives great gifts!"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"The unholy shall kneel before the might of the honorable!"

- Upon getting an Insta-Kill power-up.

"I am possessed by the power of the EMPEROR!"

- Upon getting an Insta-Kill power-up.

"You will feel the power in my veins!"

- Upon getting an Insta-Kill power-up.

"That will hold them up for a while."

- Upon getting a Carpenter power-up.

"This gives us time to prime."

- Upon getting a Carpenter power-up.

"The stake that sticks out gets hammered down!"

- Upon getting a Carpenter power-up.

"Quick, kill as many as you can!"

- Upon getting a Carpenter power-up

"That will keep them out for a thousand year- er, uh, well, a few seconds."

- Upon getting a Carpenter power-up.

"Let the light of a thousand suns purify your souls!"

- Upon getting a Nuke power-up.

"Destruction rains on the unholy!"

- Upon getting a Nuke power-up.

"...Nice timing!"

- Upon getting a Nuke power-up.

"What is a fire sale?"

- Upon getting a Fire Sale power-up.

"We will take this a sign!"

- Upon getting a Fire Sale power-up.

"If we move quickly, we will be rewarded!"

- Upon getting a Fire Sale power-up.

"There is little time to grab a deal, ha ha!"

- Upon getting a Fire Sale power-up.

"To the box!"

- Upon getting a Fire Sale power-up.

Perk-a-Colas
"Hmm, a drink that requires a... mature palette."

- Upon drinking Quick Revive.

"Speed Cola speeds up your life!"

- Upon drinking Speed Cola, said in a quite fast voice.

"I am fast shooting Eastern cowboy!"

- Upon drinking Double Tap Root Beer.

"Ahhh. This water is a pure delight!"

- Upon drinking Juggernog.

Pack-a-Punch
"Consequences will never be the same!"

- After putting a weapon inside the Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"A true warrior forges his own bread!"

- After putting a weapon inside the Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"Patience is a virtue of the honorable!"

- After putting a weapon inside the Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"May the weapon be blessed... by the ancestor!"

- After putting a weapon inside the Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"I will honor this machine, by slaying many...."

- After putting a weapon inside the Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"This will make a weapon that will honor my ancestors."

- After putting a weapon inside the Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"A weapon is an extension of ones ownself."

- After taking a newly upgraded weapon out of the Pack-a-Punch.

"Much better"

- Receiving a weapon from the Pack a Punch Machine

"Now with more honor!"

- Receiving a weapon from the Pack a Punch Machine

Mystery Box
"I cannot be defeated!...Probably..."

- After getting an AUG from Mystery Box.

"I will turn them into red mist!"

- After getting a G11 from Mystery Box.

"This is lighter than a feather, but more than twice as deadly!"

- After getting an SMG from Mystery Box.

"Ahhh... The bullets will rain upon the demon spawn!"

- After getting an SMG from Mystery Box.

"With this SMG, I bring death!"

- After getting an SMG from Mystery Box.

"I will fire honor at them mightily!"

- After getting an SMG from Mystery Box.

"I will fire honor at them mightily!"

- After getting an SMG from Mystery Box.

"Hmm... A fine weapon."

- After getting a Sniper Rifle from Mystery Box.

"They will not expect my ambush!"

- After getting a Sniper Rifle from Mystery Box. A reference to how Japanese soldiers ambushed soldiers in WWII.

"They will die without honor!"

- After getting a Sniper Rifle from Mystery Box.

"One by one, I will curse them from afar!"

- After getting a Sniper Rifle from Mystery Box.

"Ahh... A useful weapon!"

- After getting a Sniper Rifle from Mystery Box.

"I will steal what honor they have left!"

- After getting a Sniper Rifle from Mystery Box.

"This does not suit a warrior!"

- After getting a CZ75 or a Python from Mystery Box.

"A worthless weapon, from an honor-less box!"

- After getting a CZ75 or a Python from Mystery Box.

"I see the box still dispenses dishonor!"

- After getting a CZ75 or a Python from Mystery Box.

"Mmm. If only this box had honor!"

- After getting a CZ75 or a Python from Mystery Box.

"This is unacceptable!"

- After getting a CZ75 or a Python from Mystery Box.

"Double the honor!"

- After getting dual CZ75's from Mystery Box.

"Ahh, 2 guns is a good thing, for me!"

- After getting dual CZ75's from Mystery Box.

"I have more firepower!"

- After getting dual CZ75's from Mystery Box.

"Their disease will be forgotten!"

- After getting dual CZ75's from Mystery Box.

"I will bring the wrath of the emperor down upon them!"

- After getting dual CZ75's from Mystery Box.

"I will blast them apart!"

- After getting a shotgun from Mystery Box.

"They will feel my anger with every destroyed limb!"

- After getting a shotgun from Mystery Box.

"They will be zen..."

- After getting a shotgun from Mystery Box.

"I shatter their souls!"

- After getting a shotgun from Mystery Box.

"Now these beasts will be destroyed!"

- After getting a shotgun from Mystery Box.

"I will end their suffering!"

- After getting a shotgun from Mystery Box.

"This gun fires pure honor!"

- After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box.

"The weapon that those who call me "ancestor" will employ!"

- After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box.

"Now I will send them back into darkness!"

- After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box.

"They will not know what hit them!"

- After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box.

"I will purify them!"

- After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box.

"I have acquired the Thundergun!"

- After getting a Thundergun from Mystery Box.

"A gift from the emperor!"

- After getting a Thundergun from Mystery Box.

"Nature's fury, packed into a tube!"

- After getting a Thundergun from Mystery Box.

"I will unleash this great power!"

- After getting a Thundergun from Mystery Box.

"The skies will shake with my power!"

- After getting a Thundergun from Mystery Box.

"*chuckling* The Emperor would be amused!"

- After getting a Monkey Bomb from Mystery Box.

"*chuckling*, I have found a toy!"

- After getting a Monkey Bomb from Mystery Box.

"The monkey of honor!"

- After getting a Monkey Bomb from Mystery Box.

"This monkey holds the cure to their disease!"

- After getting a Monkey Bomb from Mystery Box.

"This will not fit in my scabbard!"

- After getting a Monkey Bomb from Mystery Box.

"Honour... In spades!"

- After getting a China Lake or M72 LAW from Mystery Box.

"With this, I will purge this place!"

- After getting a China Lake or M72 LAW from Mystery Box.

"I will rain fire on the dishonorable!"

- After getting a China Lake or M72 LAW from Mystery Box.

"This teddy bear fuels my nightmares!"

- After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"The box is no longer here! Maybe never was..."

- After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"This box is cursed!"

- After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Who is responsible for this?"

- After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"The box leaves us powerless!"

- After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

Interactive
"Your aim has pleased the Emperor!"

- When Richtofen gets a headshot

"That was good shooting, doctor!"

- When Richtofen gets a headshot

"Oh! They stand no chance against you!"

- When Richtofen gets a headshot

"Oh! Amazing shot!"

- When Richtofen gets a headshot

"You shoot like Samurai!"

- When Richtofen gets a headshot

"Richtofen is surrounded!"

- When Richtofen is swarmed

"We're coming to help, Richtofen!"

- When Richtofen is swarmed

"The doctor could use some assistance!"

- When Richtofen is swarmed

"On our way, doctor!"

- When Richtofen is swarmed

"Coming, Richtofen!"

- When Richtofen is swarmed

"Saving some for later?"

- When Richtofen makes a crawler

"I see you kept a bit of it alive."

- When Richtofen makes a crawler

"I think you made a crawler."

- When Richtofen makes a crawler

"Some of it still lives!"

- When Richtofen makes a crawler

"Crawler, on its way!"

- When Richtofen makes a crawler

"Did you make that too, doctor?"

- When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb

"You are honered by the presence of the monkey."

- When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb

"You have been blessed by the Emperor."

- When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb

"Richtofen found the monkey."

- When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb

"Hurry up and use it!"

- When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb

"You have lucky number, Russian pig!"

- When Nikolai gets a headshot

"That was not your shot, but your breath!"

- When Nikolai gets a headshot

"The sight of you made its head explode!"

- When Nikolai gets a headshot

"If you shoot 1000 bullets, you hit maybe one time!"

- When Nikolai gets a headshot

"They fall before your ugliness!"

- When Nikolai gets a headshot

"Poor Russian."

- When Nikolai is swarmed

"I'll be there someday, Nikolai!"

- When Nikolai is swarmed

"If you would shoot instead of taking shots, maybe that not happen!"

- When Nikolai is swarmed

"Just breathe on them!"

- When Nikolai is swarmed

"Oh! I thought you were one of them!"

- When Nikolai is swarmed

"Of course you didn't kill it all!"

- When Nikolai makes a crawler

"(Mockingly) Oh, he must be attracted to you!"

- When Nikolai makes a crawler

"They want to kill you, Nikolai...maybe can't blame them!"

- When Nikolai makes a crawler

"Maybe they find you irritating."

- When Nikolai makes a crawler

"Looks like you missed a bit."

- When Nikolai makes a crawler

"Nothing like making friends, Nikolai, eh?"

- When Nikolai makes a crawler

"Maybe it will wind YOU up, Russian!"

- When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb

"The monkey is better at killing zombies than you!"

- When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb

"Look out, Nikolai! It's watching you!"

- When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb

"Its loud cymbals give you a headache, huh?"

- When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb

"I bet that monkey hates you."

- When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb

Other
"I require more funds!"

- When attempting to buy something on the wall without the required points.

"I need more honor!"

- When attempting to buy something on the wall without the required points.

"I am not yet ready for the way of the box."

- When attempting to buy a gun from the Mystery Box on the wall without the required points.

"Virtuous folds in the fire of adversity!"

- When being swarmed.

"I see them on all sides!"

- When being swarmed.

"The disease surround me!"

- When being swarmed.

"I must fight through the scourge!"

- When being swarmed.

"It takes discipline to be surrounded by your foes!"

- When being swarmed.

"You will all die again!"

- When being swarmed.

"You will meet your doom!"

- When being swarmed.

"I shall free your souls!"

- When being swarmed.

"You will be purified by honor!"

- When being swarmed.

"Your path leads to your death!"

- When being swarmed.

"You will meet the rage of Takeo!"

- When being swarmed.

"Hey guys! I am surrounded!"

- When being swarmed.

"I am surrounded by all that is unholy!"

- When being swarmed.

"Your disease ends here!"

- When being swarmed.

"The honorable cannot be tainted!"

- When being swarmed.

"Oh!... Sounds like a big monster is attacking the building."

- After turning on the electricity. A reference to the Japanese film, "Godzilla".

"The disease is spreading..."

- Upon turning the electricity on.

"Somehow, they are becoming more foul!"

- Upon turning the electricity on.

"Evil only begats more evil!"

- Upon turning the electricity on.

"Huh? What new evil is afoot?"

- Upon turning the electricity on.

"I found a piece of the meteor!"

- After found the first piece of the meteor.

"I found another rock! Maybe they stole this from Japan!"

- Finding the second piece of the meteor. A reference to the meteor at Shi No Numa.

"I have found a grand secret!"

- Upon activating the "115" song easter egg.

"This is a picture of a great warrior!"

- After examining his portrait.

"A picture of The ugly American! Eugh!"

- After examining Dempsey's portrait.

"He is so drunk, I can smell his breath through this portrait!"

- After examining Nikolai's portrait.

"Perhaps what once was, is no more, but shall be again!"

- When examining the blacked out portrait.

"Honor to the doctor!"

- After examining Richtofen's portrait.

Cut Quotes
"Oh... I am honored."

- When earning an achievement.

"This will make for a fun time!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"I will SHOCK them into submission!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"I finally get the turn...with the Wunderwaffe."

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"BEHOLD! The Electric Katana!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"It is on now freakbags!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box (quoting Dempsey)

"The dragon's breathe will end their suffering!"

- Receiving the flamethrower from the Mystery Box.

"I will burn them off the face of the Earth!"

- Receiving the flamethrower from the Mystery Box.

"They will succumb to the brightness of my honor!"

- Receiving the flamethrower from the Mystery Box.

"Now they will become as ash!"

- Receiving the flamethrower from the Mystery Box.

"This disease will be burned away forever!"

- Receiving the flamethrower from the Mystery Box.

"They will be cured!"

- Receiving the flamethrower from the Mystery Box.

"I burn away your sins!"

- Killing zombie/s with the flamethrower.

"Darkness becomes light!"

- Killing zombie/s with the flamethrower.

"That stings like wasabi!"

- Killing zombie/s with the flamethrower. Wasabi is a plant known for spiciness.

"Zombie Shabu-Shabu!"

- Killing zombie/s with the flamethrower. Shabu-Shabu is a Japanese soup.

"The rising sun burns you away!"

- Killing zombie/s with the flamethrower.

Beginning
"Oh joy! No power!"

- At the beginning.

"*impatiently* Ja, ja, the power needs to be turned on."

- At the beginning. "Ja" is German for "yes".

"I cannot torture my minions without power... Dempsey, you go turn it on."

- At the beginning.

"Power power power power! It's always the first priority!"

- At the beginning. A reference to a similiar quote in Der Riese.

"There is no power, how suspicious... or obvious!"

- At the beginning.

Killing a Zombie
"Stay away from me!"

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"You shan't touch the doctor!"

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"No my dear, I touch YOU!"

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"I like the way the bloodiness feels against my skin..."

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"I feel the blood in my eyes!"

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"Ugh, I think you had an infection."

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"NEIN! TOO CLOSE!"

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"No touching the doctor!... Unless he asks."

- Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"Die, my pretty! Die!"

- Upon getting a knife kill.

"I'll swallow your heart!"

- Upon getting a knife kill.

"THE BLOOD! THE BEAUTIFUL BLOOD!"

- Upon getting a knife kill.

"No more Doctor Nice Guy!"

- Upon getting a knife kill.

"Ahh, it smells so wunderbar!"

- Upon getting a knife kill. "Wunderbar" translates to "wonderful".

"Their screams are so... erotic... ja."

- Upon getting a knife kill.

"Live up to your death!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"OH, THE LOVELY BLOOD!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Let me smell the delicate flesh, ja..."

- Upon multiple kills.

"Yes... ja, JA, DIE!!!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"The anguished cries of the damned make such music!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"I am so pleased! NOW DIE!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"I need more screams!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Don't be afraid of death. Be afraid of The Doctor!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"I take your pain! I put my straw in it! *slurping noise* And I drink it up!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Oh it hurts, doesn't it?... GOOD!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Ahh, you must be punished! You're dirty, DIRTY!"

- Upon multiple kills.

"Filthy schweinehund!"

- Upon multiple kills. Schweinehund translates to "sausage-dog" in German.

"Oh, the showers of the damned!"

- Upon an explosive kill.

"*singing* Fountains of sorrow..."

- Upon an explosive kill.

"Yes! Yes, explode!"

- Upon an explosive kill.

"Tiny little organ parts for everybody!"

- Upon an explosive kill.

"He's exploded!"

- Upon an explosive kill.

"DIE, SCHWEINE!"

- Upon an explosive kill. Schweine translates to pig.

"Bahaha, watch the little pieces of bone fly from its neck!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Awww, I cannot hear their screams if they no longer have mouths..."

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Poof! You have no more head. Hahaha!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"See the power of Doctor Richtofen!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"Haha, ja, I want you to head for me!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"I want to get closer to embrace their pain!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"*laughter* His head shattered! *laughter*"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"You have paid the price for your insolence."

- Upon getting a headshot.

"POP goes the weasel!"

- Upon getting a headshot.

"OOH, it just went splat!"

- Upon killing a gas zombie.

"Squishy squishy, little bug."

- Upon killing a gas zombie.

"Now there is pus everywhere."

- Upon killing a gas zombie.

"The Doctor says... DIE!"

- Upon killing a gas zombie.

"Taste my medicine, squishy beast!"

- Upon killing a gas zombie.

"Feel the power of Doctor Richtofen!"

- Upon getting a kill with a Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"The force of nature at my fingertips!"

- Upon getting a kill with a Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"Ja, bow before the almighty Doctor!"

- Upon getting a kill with a Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"They were all flattened like PANCAKES!"

- Upon getting a kill with a Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"I said take your medicine!"

- Upon getting a kill with a Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"AND... he is no longer with us."

- Upon getting a kill with a Ray Gun.

"Where did he go? I don't know, do you?"

- Upon getting a kill with a Ray Gun.

"He's become random bits of joy."

- Upon getting a kill with a Ray Gun.

"Transmuted into nothing!"

- Upon getting a kill with a Ray Gun.

"Do you like my glowing green balls?!"

- Upon getting a kill with a Ray Gun.

"Keep your head down next time! Haha, oh, there won't be a next time."

- Upon getting a headshot.

"You have all been fooled! Just like Peter! *laughter*"

- Upon getting a kill with the Monkey Bomb.

"Oh, the excitement and joy of their sorrows!"

- Upon getting a kill with the Monkey Bomb.

"(singing) I don't think they saw that coming!"

- Upon getting a kill with the Monkey Bomb.

"You must have heard the voices that time!"

- Upon getting a kill with the Monkey Bomb.

"BOOM! You are all dead now!"

- Upon getting a kill with the Monkey Bomb.

"I could probably use that."

- Upon shooting a limb off.

"That's so... humerus. (laughs)"

- Upon shooting a limb off. A pun on humerus and humourous.

"No, no, you're not supposed to fall apart like that."

- Upon shooting a limb off.

"He cannot fight now. He's been... disarmed. (laughs)"

- Upon shooting a limb off.

"That must be so beautifully painful!"

- Upon shooting a limb off.

"Look at what I have created!"

- Upon making a legless zombie.

"IT'S STILL ALIVE!"

- Upon making a legless zombie.

"OH JOY! I made und stumpy!"

- Upon making a legless zombie.

"Look at it, crawling to me!"

- Upon making a legless zombie.

"It has no legs, but still moves. Interesting."

- Upon making a legless zombie.

"Pity. He had such will to live."

- Upon killing a legless zombie.

"He cannot get up again, ha-ha."

- Upon killing a legless zombie.

"The life has been drained from that one."

- Upon killing a legless zombie.

"Ohhh, his torture was so beautiful!"

- Upon killing a legless zombie.

"Perhaps I can save his appendix."

- Upon killing a legless zombie.

Being hit by a Zombie
"I can smell my own blood! FEAR ME!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"How DARE you touch the doctor?"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"LEAVE ME BE!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"Schweinehund! Die!"

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him, "Schweinehund" translates literally to "pig-dog", but means the equivalent of "bastard" in German.

"Did you feel it? Oh, I hope you did."

- Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"Get off my legs, minion!"

- When getting attacked by a crawler.

"DIE!"

- When attacked by a crawler.

"It's tearing my shins! Delicious!"

- When attacked by a crawler.

"Stay below me, hundewurst!"

- When attacked by a crawler. "Hundewurst" translates to "sausage-dog".

"I'll kill you for your insolence!"

- When attacked by a crawler.

Hellhound
"Aww, the poor puppies!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"NEIN! NOT THE PUPPIES!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round. "Nein" is German for "No".

"Mommy said not to hurt animals any more!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"My poor little accidents... STAY AWAY!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Aww, poor little doggies!"

- At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Have no fear, the Doctor is present."

- Upon making a legless zombie.

"Aah, I don't like it when they lick me!"

- After killing a hellhound.

"Take them back, Samantha!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"Back, hellions! Die!"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"What have you done to the POOR PUPPIES?"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

"How can they be so mean?"

- Upon killing a Hellhound.

Downed or revived
"IT TICKLES! IT TICKLES! I KNOW IT, IT TICKLES!"

- When downed.

"IT CANNOT BE! I AM DOWN!"

- When downed.

"No, no. I am not ready for hell, I don't even have my good shoes!"

- When downed. A reference to a similiar quote in Der Riese.

"Death calls my name!"

- When downed.

"Help me! They are displeased!"

- When downed.

"I feel my life slipping away!"

- When downed.

"I'll get you something nice when this is over."

- After being revived.

"I am ALIVE!!!"

- After being revived.

"Did the voices tell you to save me?"

- After being revived.

"Ja, danke! (Yes, thanks!)"

- After being revived. This is the only quote Rictofen speaks entirely in German.

"They've all gone mad! We must help them."

- After being revived.

Ammo
"Low on ammo!"

- When low on ammo.

"How could I be running out of ammo?!"

- When low on ammo.

"I need to find more of my little friends!"

- When low on ammo.

"I can't cherish their agony if I run out of ammo completely!"

- When low on ammo.

"I only have a few rounds left!"

- When low on ammo.

"Without bullets I will have to resort to... *gasp* STABBING!"

- When out of ammo.

"I need to find some ammunition... *wailing*"

- When out of ammo.

"No ammo is NO FUN!"

- When out of ammo.

"I have no ammunition."

- When out of ammo.

"No rounds, no wounds, NO JOY!"

- When out of ammo.

Buying weapons off the wall
"Yes, now their kidneys will be all MINE! But none for you, Dempsey!"

- After buying a M14 off the wall.

"What? The voices are louder!"

- Upon buying a MP5K off the wall.

"Oh, this is just so heavy!"

- Buying M14 off the wall

"An autopsy is more easily performed with a shotgun."

- Upon buying a Stakeout or Olympia off the wall.

"Yes, my children, I am coming!"

- Upon buying an Olympia off the wall.

"The MP40! Wunderbar!"

- When buying a MP40 off the wall. "Wunderbar" is "wonderful" in German.

"Of course they still have the BEST WEAPON EVER MADE HERE!"

- When buying the MP40 off the wall.

"The Doctor is well armed!"

- When buying the MP40 off the wall.

"Look at the sheen on this weapon... striking."

- When buying the MP40 off the wall.

"Ah! The most precise invention!"

- When buying the MP40 off the wall.

"So sharp... so long!"

- Upon buying the Bowie Knife.

"Zombies! It's time for your disembowelment!"

- Upon buying the Bowie Knife.

"Oh look, I can see myself in it."

- Upon buying the Bowie Knife.

"Finally, a tool worthy of my hand."

- Upon buying the Bowie Knife.

"I don't know who Jim Bowie was, but he must have been big and long... and sharp."

- Upon buying the Bowie Knife. Jim Bowie popularized the use of the Bowie Knife.

Power-ups
"A gift from Sam? But why?!"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"More time to play with my pretty ones!"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"Ammo to the max, ja?"

- Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"MORE SCORE!"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"I am paid for pain!"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"I get paid double for my effort!"

- Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"This must be the work of the Masons."

- Upon getting a Carpenter power-up; A reference to Freemason.

"STAY AWAY!"

- Upon getting a Carpenter power-up.

"That will keep my patients at bay."

- Upon getting a Carpenter power-up.

"Are you... bored? *laughter*"

- Upon getting a Carpenter power-up. A pun on the homophones "board" and "bored".

"They are held outside for a little while now."

- Upon getting a Carpenter power-up.

"I feel THE POWER!"

- Upon getting an Insta-Kill power-up.

"I will please you now... THE VOICES!"

- Upon getting an Insta-Kill power-up.

"My blood will roar with their tears!"

- Upon getting an Insta-Kill power-up.

"They seem to have all gone boom!"

- Upon getting a Nuke.

"The flames... of the damned!"

- Upon getting a Nuke. A possible reference to a similiar quote in Der Riese.

"Watch them all explode so beautifully!"

- Upon getting a Nuke.

"Attention shoppers, we have a special... ON DEATH!"

- Upon getting a Fire Sale power-up.

"Oh, I love a good bargain!"

- Upon getting a Fire Sale power-up.

"Cheaper weapons are a prescription for pain!"

- Upon getting a Fire Sale power-up.

"Flashy lights! Flashy lights!"

- Upon getting a Fire Sale power-up.

"Step into the light!"

- Upon getting a Fire Sale power-up.

Perk-a-Colas
"Yes! She sounds like a sweet little specimen."

- Upon drinking Jugger-nog.

"For the revival of the un-fittest!"

- Upon drinking Quick Revive.

"I can't be sure but I think the active ingredient rots your mind."

- Upon drinking Speed Cola.

"Hmm, I prefer hefeweizen. With some lemon."

- Upon Drinking Double Tap.

Pack-a-Punch
"*whistling*"

- While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"I'm going to kill SOOO many now."

- After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"The Doctor is ready for war now!"

- After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"The Fatherland would be so proud! It's so emotional..."

- After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"Can you feel their cries coming?"

- After Recieving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"Hey Dempsey, WATCH YOUR BACK!"

- After recieving an Awful Lawton from the Pack-a-Punch machine.

"How wonderfully simplistic!"

- After receiving an Awful Lawton from the Pack-a-Punch machine.

"I will make them go boom now!"

- After receiving an Awful lawton from the Pack-a-Punch machine.

"What a savage weapon."

- After receiving an Awful Lawton from the Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"A crossbow with an explosive round... they think of everything."

- After receiving an Awful Lawton from the Pack-a-Punch machine.

"I can blow up so many now!"

- After receiving an Awful Lawton from the Pack-a-Punch machine.

"Tic, toc, tic, toc, oh this takes so long!"

- While waiting on the Pack-a-Punch Machine

"So many gears, such German ingenuity!"

- While waiting on the Pack-a-Punch Machine.

Mystery Box
"I like the funny sound it makes!"

- After receiving the FN FAL, Ray Gun, Famas, or the Galil from the Mystery Box.

"They will submit to darkness... *high pitched* YES!"

- After getting a HK21 from Mystery Box.

"I can kill more than one at a time!"

- After getting a sniper rifle from the Mystery Box.

"Ugh, this is just so... heavy."

- After getting a sniper rifle from the Mystery Box.

"Ja, this make a big hole! I like big holes."

- After getting a SPAS-12 from Mystery Box.

"They will be all over the floor! Und de valls!! Und the ceiling!"

- After getting an explosive weapon from the Mystery Box.

"I need to hurry up and shoot this!"

- After receiving an explosive weapon from the Mystery Box.

"Could it be? The DG-3!"

- After getting a Thundergun from Mystery Box.

"Could this be the DG-3, the DG-3 that is just for me?"

- After getting a Thundergun from Mystery Box.

"So THIS is what Maxis was keeping from me!"

- After getting a Thundergun from Mystery Box.

"I will please you now... THE VOICES!"

- After getting a SPAS-12 or China Lake from the Mystery Box

"This will never work!"

- When receiving a Python or CZ75 from the Mystery Box

"This makes me ANGRY!"

- When receiving a Python or CZ75 from the Mystery Box.

"The doctor is not pleased."

- When receiving a Python or CZ75 from the Mystery Box.

"Hehe, what is this?"

- When receiving a Python or CZ75 from the Mystery Box.

"Ach, I cannot achieve pleasure with this!"

- When receiving a Python or CZ75 from the Mystery Box.

"Double the medicine!"

- When receiving dual CZ75's from the Mystery Box.

"Yes, more firepower!"

- When receiving dual CZ75's from the Mystery Box.

"I will try to shoot all of their extremities... AT THE SAME TIME!"

- When receiving dual CZ75's from the Mystery Box.

"I have two guns now... JOY!"

- When receiving dual CZ75's from the Mystery Box.

"(singing) Double the pleasure, double the pain, double the damage!"

- When receiving dual CZ75's from the Mystery Box.

"They will be all over the floor, and the walls, and the ceiling!"

- When receiving a China Lake or M72 LAW from the Mystery Box.

"A pity they won't feel their sorrows..."

- When receiving a China Lake, M72 LAW or Crossbow from the Mystery Box.

"I need to hurry up and shoot this!"

- When receiving a China Lake or M72 LAW from the Mystery Box.

"Ratatatatatatata Ratatatata! Ahhahahaha!"

- Upon receiving a G11 from the Mystery Box

"Why do they love you so much, little monkey?"

- After receiving the Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box

"You remind me of Patient 13225, only you make less noise when I stick things in you."

- After receiving the Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box. This is a reference to Element 115, as the square root to 13225 is 115.

"The amazing monkey of POWER!"

- Said after getting a Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box.

"Joy!"

- After getting a Ray Gun

"Where did you go?"

- When getting a Teddy Bear.

"Samantha? Samantha, where have you run off too?"

- When getting a Teddy Bear.

"But I need your gifts, how can I have them?"

- When getting a Teddy Bear.

"That dreadful little girl continues to make my life difficult."

- When getting a Teddy Bear.

"Samantha, didn't I teach you a lesson about this?"

- When getting a Teddy Bear.

Interactive
"Ah, das ist good, Nikolai!"

- When Nikolai gets a headshot (Das ist is "that is" in German).

"You take the Illuminati up on their offer, no?"

- When Nikolai gets a headshot.

"Straight shooting from a drunk Russian. How quaint."

- When Nikolai gets a headshot.

"Excellent shooting, Nikolai!"

- When Nikolai gets a headshot.

"Perhaps aim at Dempsey next time."

- When Nikolai gets a headshot.

"I'll buy you some vodka!"

- When Nikolai gets a headshot.

"Don't worry Nikolai, I will probably not let them hurt you."

- When Nikolai is swarmed.

"Back, minions! Stay away from his vodka!"

- When Nikolai gets swarmed.

"I will help you, Russian!"

- When Nikolai gets swarmed.

"The doctor is on his way!"

- When Nikolai gets swarmed.

"Nikolai needs our help!"

- When Nikolai gets swarmed.

"Crawlers, they make such cute noises!"

- When Nikolai makes a crawler.

"Nikolai, you've made me a new present!"

- When Nikolai makes a crawler.

"Thank you so much for your gift, Nikolai!"

- When Nikolai makes a crawler.

"He looks so cute and happy!"

- When Nikolai makes a crawler.

"(High-pitched) A little crawling minion...(Angrily) I WANT ONE!"

- When Nikolai makes a crawler.

"Fuzzy fuzzy, was a monkey!"

- When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb.

"Give him drink, Nikolai, and send him on his way!"

- When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb.

"He causes so much sorrow, Nikolai!"

- When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb.

"Oh, joy for Nikolai!"

- When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb.

"Do you hear him talking to you, Nikolai?"

- When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb.

"If I could bottle up your luck, I could make a lot of money, Dempsey."

- When Dempsey gets a headshot.

"Dempsey, you marrow sucking... freakbag, is it?"

- When Dempsey gets a headshot.

"Why don't you just shut your ignorant hole, Dempsey! And your mouth!"

- When Dempsey gets a headshot.

"Dempsey, if you had a brain cell for every headshot, you'd only be stupid!"

- When Dempsey gets a headshot.

"No, Dempsey! I shot that one!"

- When Dempsey gets a headshot.

"You deserve to die, Dempsey!"

- When Dempsey is swarmed.

"I will help you, but only because I want to be the one to eat your heart!"

- When Dempsey is swarmed.

"Dempsey is surrounded! JOY!"

- When Dempsey is swarmed.

"(Tauntingly) Oh, look at the big, brave American soldier, needing help from the doctor!"

- When Dempsey is swarmed.

"(Laughs) Dempsey's being tortured by my little friends."

- When Dempsey is swarmed.

"One day, I will taste your tears, Dempsey."

- When Dempsey makes a crawler.

"I hate you Dempsey. I even hate your eyes."

- When Dempsey makes a crawler.

"Dempsey has made a crawler. Now everyone can do it."

- When Dempsey makes a crawler.

"You have made them multiply. Maybe that's how YOU got here!"

- When Dempsey makes a crawler.

"Dempsey, look at what you have done! *clicks tongue*"

- When Dempsey makes a crawler.

"You are so annoying, Dempsey."

- When Dempsey makes a crawler.

"Nein! Dempsey shouldn't be allowed to have this much fun!"

- When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb.

"Oh, Dempsey, you are now my favorite."

- When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb.

"You see the family resemblance, American."

- When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb.

"Oh, how I hate you now, little monkey."

- When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb.

"Not Dempsey! He doesn't deserve the fun!"

- When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb.

Other
"Alas, the doctor is too poor to buy this..."

- When attempt to buy something without requisite points.

"What?! I am nothing but a peasant!"

- When attempting to buy something without requisite points.

"How can the doctor be so poor?"

- When attempting to buy something without requisite points.

"The infernal box will not give it's secrets freely..."

- When attempting to use the Mystery Box without the required points.

"THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!"

- When being swarmed.

"Why has everyone abandoned the Doctor?"

- When being swarmed.

"No! The Doctor could use some help about now!"

- When being swarmed.

"My patience is at an end. YOU WILL DIE NOW!"

- When being swarmed.

"How have you all been? Ja, good... TIME TO DIE!"

- When being swarmed.

"Yes, my children, gather around...*nervous laughter*"

- When being swarmed.

"Let me tell you a story about your doom!"

- When being swarmed.

"Oh, it must be playtime!"

- When being swarmed.

"Glad to meet you all! I am the Doctor!"

- When being swarmed.

"Time to RUN!!!"

- When being swarmed.

"My fame has preceded me."

- When being swarmed.

"Have you heard? It's your time to go."

- When being swarmed.

"Why won't they stop talking to me?"

- When being swarmed.

"You should go follow Dempsey now!"

- When being swarmed.

"Nein, this is not the time to stalk the doctor!"

- When being swarmed.

"You are all getting so close... YOU WILL DIE NOW!"

- When being swarmed.

"Ah, the bathroom, not a very interesting place, unless you're German... LIKE ME!!!"

- Upon entering the bathroom.

"Doctor Maxis almost had his undead army, if only he could have broken the trust barrier."

- Upon entering the dressing room.

"Those seats, that screen, they wanted to implant the mind with instructions!"

- Upon entering the theater.

"An ally, how quaint."

- Upon entering the alley.

"They are shaking down the roof, what a pity!"

- After turning on the power.

"That doesn't sound good."

- After turning on the power.

"What is that beautiful sound? It's like MUSIC!"

- After turning on the power.

"The beautiful creatures fall from the sky!"

- After turning on the power.

"These must have been the failed experiments Maxis mentioned."

- After turning on the power.

"I found a piece of the meteor!"

- After found the first piece of the meteor.

"I found another rock! Maybe they stole this from Japan!"

- Finding the second piece of the meteor. Reference to the meteor in Shi No Numa

"I have found the last piece!"

- Finding the last Meteor.

"I have found a delicious tune!"

- Upon activating the "115" song easter-egg.

"How can I download this to my MP3 player?"

- Upon activating the "115" song easter-egg.

"Oh look, it's me... but not quite as magnificent!"

- After examining his portrait.

"Hello Dempsey. Oh, wait, its just a portrait... AN UGLY ONE!"

- After examining Dempsey's portrait.

"His eyes are following me!"

- After examining Nikolai's portrait.

"Oh, it's a picture of the Monkey Bomb!"

- After examining Takeo's portrait.

"This one didn't photograph so well."

- After examining the blacked-out portrait.

Cut Quotes
"I have been recognized by Treyar... the Illuminati!"

- When earning an achievement (refers to Treyarch).

"OHHHH! The Wunderwaffe DG-2! (slighty cries) I missed you!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"This will be the SHOCK!....of a lifetime...(giggles)"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"Oh, the element of POWER!!"

- Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"Can it be the DG-3? The DG-3 that's just for me?"

- When receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-3 JZ from the Pack-a-Punch machine.

"Listen, do you hear its joy?"

- Upon getting a kill with the Wunderwaffe DG-2.

"The Doctor sends his regards!"

- Upon getting a kill with the Wunderwaffe DG-2.

"Shocking! *laughter*"

- Upon getting a kill with the Wunderwaffe DG-2.

"Feel the power of the element!"

- Upon getting a kill with the Wunderwaffe DG-2.

"Samantha, is that you? You mustn't tell anyone!"

- Upon getting a kill with the Wunderwaffe DG-2.

"Ohh, what I wouldn't give to feel that kind of power."

- Upon getting a kill with the Wunderwaffe DG-2.

"Burn them... burn them, yes, BURN SO NICELY!"

- Upon receiving the flamethrower from the Mystery Box.

"So heavy, so hot, so... handsome."

- Upon receiving the flamethrower from the Mystery Box.

"They bathe in their anguished cries!"

- Upon receiving the flamethrower from the Mystery Box.

"The Doctor is ready to boil them into submission."

- Upon receiving the flamethrower from the Mystery Box.

"Shut up, shut up, or I will BURN out your eyes!"

- Upon receiving the flamethrower from the Mystery Box.

"Liverwurst, anyone? (laughter)"

- Upon receiving the flamethrower from the Mystery Box.

"He... He-he's BURNING! (crying) Oh joy!"

- Killing zombies with the flamethrower.

"Oh, do you smell the cooked intestine? Delicious."

- Killing zombies with the flamethrower.

"The flames! Oh, the glorious flames!"

- Killing zombies with the flamethrower.

"*laughter*"

- Killing zombies with the flamethrower.

"Fry, my pretties! Fry!"

- Killing zombies with the flamethrower.

Samantha Maxis
"Fetch me their souls!"

- At begining of a Hellhound round.

"Bye bye!"

- When a player revives the Teddy Bear in the Mystery Box.

"Kaboom!"

- When a Nuke power-up is picked up.

"Carpenter!"

- When a Carpenter power-up is picked up.

"Insta-kill!"

- When an Insta-kill power-up is picked up.

"Fire Sale!"

- When a Fire Sale power-up is picked up.

"Max Ammo!"

- When a Max Ammo power-up is picked up.

"Double points!"

- When a Double Points power-up is picked up.

"Attention, Zombie shoppers! Time for a Fire Sale. Until the music stops, box rolls ten Dollars, at a convenient location near you! (evil laugh)"

- A longer version of the Fire Sale announcement, found in PC files.

Trivia

 * PC game files reveal recorded quotes from all four characters referring to the Wunderwaffe DG-2 and the Flamethrower (which isn't a standalone weapon in the game). It is unknown why either were removed. Although the Wunderwaffe DG-2 was likely replaced by the Thundergun and the Flamethrower not being a compatable weapon since it was made into an attachment. Many of these cut quotes can be heard in maps that feature these weapons.
 * Also, an extended version of the Fire sale cry was found, as seen above.
 * Sometimes, when playing as Richtofen on Solo, he will say a multiplayer quote that involves Tank Dempsey.
 * The characters seem to confuse the M14, an assault rifle, for a sniper rifle based on many of these quotes.
 * This is the only map with cut quotes that actually makes references to the PS3 trophy/Xbox achievements.