Shadows of Evil/Quotes

This is a list of the characters' quotes from the zombies map Shadows of Evil.

Talking to the Shadow Man
"I can hear you! Geez, are you...are you the one I saw i-in my...dream?"

- In response to Shadow Man, at the beginning of a match

"I-I think we should listen to him. Really, really listen to him."

- In response to the Shadow Man on round 2

"H-hey you out there, whoever was talking to us a minute ago? Can you at least tell us what...the...hell is going on?!?"

- In response to the Shadow Man on round 3

"My wife, my ex-wife, my de-dead wife, it was never enough for her. She was always complaining; if I was busy, I wasn't paying her enough attention, if I wasn't busy, I was lazy. She complained, and she spent money: and she was really good at both."

- In response to the Shadow Man after round 5

Rituals
"I thought evil contracts were usually signed in blood..."

- After picking up the Pen

"They say the pen is mightier than the sword. Unless it's a sword fight."

- After picking up the Pen

"Oh, this reminds me of when I was young, when I used to play Cops n Robbers."

- After picking up the Badge

"Ugh, I'm not gonna get in trouble for impersonating a police officer now, am I?"

- After picking up the Badge

"It's my workshop where I create the props for my spellbinding illusions! Yes..."

- After entering his Landing for the first time, in response to the Shadow Man

"W-would I be able to talk to my lawyer before answering that?"

- After entering the Ruby Rabbit for the first time, in response to the Shadow Man

"...No, I-I can't say that it is..."

- After entering the boxing gym for the first time, in response to the Shadow Man

"Well, ah, I-I have watched the occasional performance in this establishment..."

- After entering the Burlesque for the first time, in response to the Shadow Man

Perk-a-Cola
"It is a weak man who finds strength only through liquor."

- After buying a Perk

"Not sure drinking that was the best idea."

- After buying a Perk-a-Cola

"Has this tonic imbued me with some otherworldly power?"

- After buying a Perk-a-Cola

"I spent half my life, thirsty. Why, I wonder?"

- After buying a Perk-a-Cola

"Bottoms up!"

- After buying a Perk-a-Cola

Gobblegum
"I wasn't allowed gum as a child...wait, wait, wait, that's-that's not true!"

- After purchasing and receiving a GobbleGum

"So many colors! Do they all taste different?"

- After purchasing and receiving a GobbleGum

"Gum is in fact originally derived from tree sap! Isn't that interesting?"

- After purchasing and receiving a GobbleGum

"The sugar does not agree with me."

- After purchasing and receiving a GobbleGum

"Oh! Maybe I'll need this candy to sustain me in the final hours!"

- After purchasing and receiving a GobbleGum

"Mmm, I can't tell you how many times I've found this stuff stuck on the underside of a theater chair!"

- After eating a GobbleGum

"If it imbues me with power, hmm, then chew I WILL!"

- After eating a GobbleGum

Beast Mode
"There must be an explanation, a reason for us to take that hideous, hideous form."

- Randomly after returning from Beast Mode

"With each subsequent transformation, I grow ever more confident with my tentacles"

- Randomly after returning from Beast Mode

"Is there a chance that I've always had this power, but I didn't know?"

- Randomly after returning from Beast Mode

Other
"Kill it, KILL IT, have we got any fire? Fire usually kills things!"

- When a Margwa is near.

"Your vanquishment, will come soon enough, beast!"

- When destroying a Margwa's head

"Watch the...amazing Nero perform...the knives of death."

- Upon getting a melee kill.

"Three heads like Cerberus, tentacles like an octupus! Ooh, Cerbertopus!!"

- When a Margwa is near.

"Time waits for no man... and this man has no time to wait."

- Upon purchasing a wall weapon

"Why don't we just take a breather, and calm down for a minute?"

- In response to Jack Vincent

"This may be the most elaborate egg cup I've ever seen! It seems there's a place for everything. Even a giant, interdimensional egg!"

- Upon placing the Apothicon Egg on a Cthulhu statue

"Just as I thought, it fits like a glove."

- Upon placing the Apothicon Egg on a Cthulhu Statue

"Ah, it appears that the shield is QUICKER THAN THE EYE!"

- When using the Rocket Shield.

Jack Vincent
"You fucking talking to me?"

- In response to Shadow Man, at the beginning of a match after Shadow Man finishes speaking.

"I'm Jackie motherfuckin' Vincent!"

- When randomly killing zombies.

"You got my wife beat. She only has TWO faces!"

- Said when a Margwa spawns.

"No one ever said "Good job, Jackie". No one ever says "Hey, thanks for keeping the streets safe for normal folks. Here's a raise in pay so you don't have to go on the fuckin' take to pay for your bills". NO ONE EVER FUCKING SAID THAT TO JACKIE FUCKING VINCENT!"

- After completing the ritual in the Ruby Rabbit

"I got problems. I got a fuckin' wife who won't stop bitchin' about how much I drink, how much I eat, how much I smoke, how much I wanna fuck. I swear I got an ulcer the size of Staten fuckin' Island."

- After completing the ritual in the Ruby Rabbit

"Bumpin' off my snitch, that's one thing. He was a no good lowlife, world's better off without him, but my partner...shit, he didn't deserve that."

- After completing the ritual in the Ruby Rabbit

"It takes a certain kind of man to wear a toupee. Yo Nero, this yours?"

- Upon picking up the Hair Piece.

"It takes a certain kind of idiot to wear a toupee."

- Upon picking up the Hair Piece

"In a moment this weapon is going to be about as useful as Magic Man's wand."

- When low on ammo.

"You freaks come in "extra large" now??"

- When seeing a Margwa for the first time

"Uhh, this is gonna get all kinds of ugly."

- When seeing a Margwa spawn.

"I'm not gonna let any of your heads take a bite outta me!"

- When seeing a Margwa.

"I'm not even gonna bother reading you your rights."

- When seeing a Margwa.

"Not going down without a fight, huh?"

- When seeing a Margwa.

"C'mon you flying shitheads, I'm ready for ya!"

- When starting a Parasite round.

"Just like taking candy from a baby, without the baby."

- When buying a GobbleGum.

"When life gives you lemons, buy a fucking gun!"

- When buying a wall weapon.

"Jackie V. claims that a minor victory."

- After the end of round.

"What the fuck is this?"

- When picking up Fumigator.

"I fuckin' tell ya, I get shit done."

- After the end of round.

"Who wants to learn about the law?"

- Upon picking up Insta-Kill.

"I'm warning you ugly son of a bitch!"

- When seeing a zombie for the first time.

"Hey, stay where you are!"

- When seeing a zombie for the first time.

"What the fuck!?"

- When seeing a zombie for the first time.

"Wait wait, wait, what!?"

- Upon starting the ritual.

"I got a feeling Jackie V. is about to put a hurt on the next freak I see!"

- Upon picking up Insta-Kill.

"Sacred. Place. Really? Then what? Some worm monster comes for its babies?"

- Upon picking up Gateworm.

Talking to the Shadow Man
"I don't think this is a dream..."

- After Shadow Man first contacts the characters

Interacting with zombies
"Congratulations, you just pissed me off."

- After killing a zombie that hit him

"I will walk right through you."

- After killing a zombie that hit him

Rituals
"This ain't the key to my heart. I threw that away a long time ago."

- After picking up the Summoning Key

"Maybe I could write a note, tell everyone how I really feel..."

- After picking up the Pen

"This don't belong to me, 'less I take it from the champ himself."

- After picking up the Belt

"Of all the things I could find, I found a damn toupee."

- After picking up the Hairpiece

Other
"Damn, and I thought I was angry."

- In response to Jack Vincent after the ritual at the Ruby Rabbit

Talking to the Shadow Man
"This can't be happening."

- At the beginning of a match.

"Cursed?! In what way am I cursed?!"

- In response to the Shadow Man on round 2.

"Sucks being them, I guess."

- In response to the Shadow Man on round 3.

Other
"I am completely out of ammo!"

- When out of ammo.

"No break and no bullets, this sucks!"

- When out of ammo. "Uh oh, this gun has stopped working!"

- When out of ammo.

"I will dance all over your dumb ass!"

- When killing a zombie that had hit her.

"What the hell is that!?!"

- When seeing a Margwa for the first time

"Ah well, he was a no-good sleezeball anyway."

- After completing the ritual in the Black Lace Burlesque

Shadow Man
"You bear the mark, you are cursed! You must place your hand upon the stone!"

- Said at the beginning of a match.

"You have blood on your hands, it cannot be cleansed!"

- Said at the beginning of round 2-3

"Only by invoking the beast, can you find the items you need. You must explore the unexplored."

- Said at the beginning of round 3.

"Why did you kill?"

- Said at the beginning of round 5-8.

"These are our TRUE enemies!"

- Said upon the first spawn of the gatekeepers.

"This...is a room of secrets. Do you know what I speak of?"

- When the player enters Nero's Landing for the first time.

"The Ruby Rabbit. Each of you knows this place. What does it mean to you?"

- When the player enters The Ruby Rabbit for the first time.

"The boxing gym. Is this room...familiar to you?"

- When the player enters the boxing gym for the first game.

"The Burlesque. More than any other place in this city, your paths have crossed here."

- When the player enters the Burlesque for the first game.

"We must hurry! The keepers seek to haste the collapse of the dimensions."

- Said upon killing the gatekeepers for the first time.

"The summoning key is the most powerful artifact in this, or any other dimension."

- Upon obtaining the summoning key.

"Complete the ritual! The gateworm's energy must be released!"

- Upon entering the Pack-a-Punch area.

"Your services to the overlords is appreciated. Our complete assimilation of this dimension will now... Proceed."

- Upon completing the 5th ritual.

"How could this be?! This was NOT what supposed to order the prophecies!"

- Upon initiating the 6th step of the easter egg.

"WAIT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! YOU ARE BUT MORTALS! AARRRGGGG!!!"

- About to be trapped inside the summoning key.