Stand-in/Transcript

After walking past the vault
Dempsey: "Hey? Hey!? Is there anyone out there? We're stuck in this room!"

Nikolai: "Hello?! There is a Russian stuck in the room! This is not good!"

Richtofen: "Excuse me, is there anyone out there that would be willing to help? Hellooo?"

After knifing the vault first time
Nikolai: "I'm blind, I'm blind, in my eyes!"

Dempsey: "Holy shitballs, me too... What did you do Richtofen!?"

Richtofen: "I did nothing. Where's the light switch? Oh. I think I found a lever. Perhaps this will turn on the light."

Dempsey: "Ooh, AAH!. Let go, that's.... not... a... LEVER! Richtofen!"

Richtofen: "Haha! Shhh! Did you hear that?"

Nikolai: "Uhh.. Sounded like someone outside. Hey, you! Hey! I need vodka!"

Richtofen: "Hello? Could you help us? There must be a blown fuse or something. It's dark in here."

(Takeo throws up)

Dempsey: "Oh man, that's wet."

After staying at the vault
Dempsey: "Oh for the love of, Richtofen, just cause the lights ain't on doesn't mean I can't kick your ass. (Slaps Richtofen, 'Richtofen falls to floor') Now get your finger out of mine!'"

Nikolai: "You know, I kept the power off my entire first marriage.....first wife looked like Nikolai too much... ugh."

Richtofen: "It's so dark and quiet! Anyone up for a game?"

After putting the fuse in the fuse box
Richtofen: "Ah much better, now I can see the problem. We must have gone too far in the future. Look, the teleporter is completely broken. The time triggers are damaged. We'll have to reboot the--"

Dempsey: "Wait, you took us here on purpose!? Where are we?"

Richtofen: "A better question Dempsey ..."

Nikolai: "Oh look at this blinkey light, oh what´s this button do?"

Richtofen: "Nikolai, NOOOOOOO!!!!'"

(MDT Security System turns on)

Richtofen: "Oohhh great Nikolai, you just activated the MDT security system."

Nikolai: "Good!"

Richtofen: "Excuse me! You outside, ja... the handsome one. We need you to locate the power sources of the security system. They look like little half domes with a hole on top ..kinda like a big... forget it. If you destroy them, it should shut down the security system."

Staying at the vaultDempsey: "This force field is good for something, keeping me away from 'Mr. Touchy Feely' over there."

Richtofen: "Oh with situations like this make me wish I haven't erased their.......I mean.....(sings) force field, force field stuck behind a force field."

Nikolai: "I can destroy these force fields with Russian head smash... Grr..! Argh..! Bad idea."

After destroying the generators (solo dialogue)
Dempsey: "Okay, that did the trick."

Richtofen: "Ah yes, Takeo can you hand me that screwdriver?"

(Takeo throws up)

Dempsey: "Ok, eww."

Richtofen: "Is that all he's going to do this trip?"

Nikolai: "TAKEO! Let's dance you barfing fool!"

Richtofen: "So now that they're occupied I've been wondering, could you do a special errand for me? I need you to retrive a very important device, it looks like a long, stiff, hard, golden rod... With fingers on the end, Aaaoohh, delightful.".

Staying at the vault

Dempsey: "At least there aren´t any fucking zombies in here... I feel like I'm on vacation."

Nikolai: "Wait, my eye-sight is clear, my hands do not shake... aaah! I'm...SOBER!"

Richtofen: "Remember, if you have to use the potty, I have designated this corner the potty corner. Meaning that if you have to potty in a corner, this will be the corner that you would potty in. Number 1 or 2 is acceptable

After destroying the generators (co-op dialogue)
Dempsey: "Okay that did the trick."

Richtofen: "Ah yes, Takeo can you hand me that screwdriver?"

(Takeo throws up)

Dempsey: "Ok, ew."

Richtofen: "Is that all he's going to do this trip?"

Nikolai: "Oh, I have such a headache.. I need vodka!"

Dempsey: "Now ain't the time for drinking, Nikolai!"

Nikolai: "I heartily disagree! Now is perfect time for drinking."

Richtofen: "Ja, vodka! That will give me the distraction I ....... I mean ......good idea!"

Nikolai: ''"See Tank? It always good time for drinking, eh?" ''

Richtofen: "But there couldn't be anything left to drink around here, could there?"

After Getting the Vodka
Richtofen: "Ah hello thank you so much."

Dempsey: "Come on Rechtolfan it's singing time!"

Dempsey and Nikolai (singing): "99 shots of vodka, 99 shots of glee, we drink for fun, it's better than rum! 99 shots vodka for me! 98 shots of vodka, 98 bottles of glee,we drink for fun, it's better than rum! 98 bottles of vodka for me! 

Nikolai: "96 shots of vodka........"

Dempsey: "Come on, you lost count again you dumbass! Now we have to start all over again!"

Nikolai: "Well, I do not like math.'"

(Both repeat song until finished)

Dempsey: "Oh boy, let's leave so we can go on another wild goose chase exept we're the geese and the zombies are......something. There's a saying in here......a little help!"

Nikolai: "It's going to be sad to leave this tiny tiny room. Richtofen, I hope you're leading us to more vodka and less zombies!"

After getting the Golden Rod (Solo dialogue)
Dempsey: "Kinda sick of me to ask this but Richtofen, is that a rod in your hand?"

Richtofen: "Nein, let's go! I have a meeting.

Nikolai: "Ha yeah....DRUNK!"

Richtofen: "Thank you so much for your help out there. Goodbye!"

(Crew tries to teleport away but malfunctions)

Fixing the broken fuse
Richtofen: "Thank you again stranger, perhaps we will see you another time.. goodbye!"

Dempsey: "Yo sauerkraut, never did tell us why we're here--"

Richtofen: "All in good time my clever Dempsey, all in good time!"

(Takeo throws up)

Richtofen: "Oh.. that's what you get for eating raw fish!"

(Crew teleports away)