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BO4topright Ztr


"Tank" DempseyEdit

"We better start figuring out how to get the power on. And yes- I am talking to all you numbnuts parked on your flabby buttcheeks!"
— Said in a co-op match on Round 2.


"Feels good to be back on American soil. Even if it is home to a bunch of lousy pencil pushers."
— Said in a co-op match on Round 2.


"Different shit, same day. Strap in folks, it's gonna get bumpy."
— Said in a co-op match on Round 3.



"May as well just stick it in my mouth right now. No, Richtofen! I'm talking about this pistol!"
— Receiving a pistol from the Mystery Box


"I'm starting to think these walls are ripping us off."
— Upon purchasing ammunition or a weapon from the wall.


"Stock? Check. Lock? Check. Ready to rock? Ooh-rah!"
— Upon purchasing ammunition from the wall.


"Stock? Check. Lock? Check. Cock? DOUBLE-CHECK! Ready to rock? OOH-RAH!"
— Upon purchasing ammunition from the wall.


"Aw shit! I'm low on ammo!"
— Running low on ammunition.


"Uh-oh! I'm hearing clicking! And it ain't nobodies' joints!"
— Running low on ammunition.


"Aw no I'm low on ammo!"
— Running low on ammunition.


"I had a lot of points in the temple! Why the hell doesn't that shit carry over?"
— When trying to buy a wall weapon without enough points.


"Going through rounds faster than I go through pants!"
— Running low on ammunition.


"I should probably start making these shots count!"
— Running low on ammunition.


"I don't like not having bullets! It sucks balls!"
— Out of ammunition.


"Ok, maggot-addicts! Might be time to meet my knife!"
— Out of ammunition.


"How about someone throw us a bone? Like, an AMMO-BONE?!"
— Out of ammunition.


"Can't fuck shit up on an empty gun! Actually I can, but it gets messy!"
— Out of ammunition.


"Mmm. Tasty. As in, tasty like a dirty diaper."
— Drinking a Perk.


"Damn right you're gonna bump me up a paygrade!"
— Upon receiving a Double Points power-up.


"Is this supposed to be an incentive? BECAUSE I DON'T NEED ONE!"
— Upon receiving a Bonus Points power-up.


"Shit yeah! Fresh juice!"
— Upon receiving a Max Ammo power-up.


"All filled up on lead!"
— Upon receiving a Max Ammo power-up.


"Hey, creepy girl! Instead of sending your dogs after us, how 'bout you grow some balls and face us yourself?"
— Start of a Hellhound round.


"Hell Puppies! 'S been a while! Can't say I'm exactly excited to see you."
— Start of a Hellhound round.


"Glad you're not a cat. I like cats. What? I can have a softer side."
— Killing a Hellhound.


"You're lucky I didn't take you out back first!"
— Killing a Hellhound.


"You just signed your own death warrant!"
— Getting hit by a Zombie.


"Paws and claws off, puss-buckets!"
— Getting hit by a Zombie.


"I will hurt you. Badly."
— Getting hit by a Zombie.


"You will regret that."
— Getting hit by a Zombie.


"Really want to pick a fight? The German's around here somewhere."
— Getting hit by a Zombie.


"Bring it on! I will put you down!"
— Getting hit by a Zombie.


"You picked on the wrong marine!"
— Getting hit by a Zombie.


"You are about to get schooled. OLD-SCHOOLED!"
— Getting hit by a Zombie.


"Stay back, maggot-bait! I'm not in the mood for your shit!"
— Getting hit by a Zombie.


"I'll get to you. All in good time."
— Getting hit by a Zombie.


"If you smell something, kill something!"
— Killing a Crawler Zombie.


"Ok, I was wrong. The fuckers smell fucking terrible!"
— Killing a Crawler Zombie.


"What the fuck are they feeding you guys?!"
— Killing a Crawler Zombie.


"Golden Rods, Focusing Stones... Dammit Richtofen, what the fuck are you scheming?!"
— Said while waiting for the Pack-a-Punch Machine.


"Shouldn't, like, Takeo be doing this? Or is he too busy moping?"
— Upon rebuilding a barrier.


"Oh yeah, this is TOTALLY worth my time!"
— Upon rebuilding a barrier.


"Everything trying to kill us. Death around every corner. And I'm here practicing CARPENTRY!"
— Upon rebuilding a barrier.


"I'm getting antsy! They're... right behind me right now, aren't they?"
— Upon rebuilding a barrier.


"If I'm nailing anything, I should be nailing meatsacks! With bullets! Come on! Get your mind out of the gutter!"
— Upon rebuilding a barrier.


"DG-5 must be ready. These sticks are vibratin' more than a...knock it off, Tank. Kids play this game."
— Upon reaching max charge with the Ragnarok DG-5.


"Blade's ready? The hell's it getting ready for? This ain't a night on the fucking town!"
— Upon reaching max charge with the Katana.


"Blade's whispering again? Must be ready for use. I swear if this thing whispers and destroys all humans I am OUT!"
— Upon reaching max charge with the Katana.


"I'll take anything that helps cover my ass."
— Upon equipping the Shield.


"I guess having a real shield means I don't need to use Richtofen."
— Upon equipping the shield.


"Looks good. Should be able to absorb a few hits."
— Upon equipping the shield.


"An audio reel? I bet someone thinks they're clever!"
— Picking up an audio reel.


"I suppose we gotta find a way to play this? Dammit."
— Picking up an audio reel.


"Wait, the check didn't clear? RICHTOFEN!"
— Attempting to purchase something with insufficient points.


"Okay I get it, I gotta kill things to get money. *unenthusiastically* Oorah."
— Attempting to purchase something with insufficient points.


"What's the matter, Nikolai? He say something mean about your wife?"
— Seeing Nikolai getting a headshot.


"I see you smiling, Richtofen! Creepy bastard."
— Seeing Richtofen get a headshot.


"Nice shooting, Doc! That's what's known as dumb luck!"
— Seeing Richtofen get a headshot.


"Hey Tak! You're putting them down with one shot! You trying to save bullets?"
— Seeing Takeo get a headshot.


Takeo MasakiEdit

"I...miss the green light that surrounded us on our previous journey. This environment is...sterile."
— Upon starting Round 1 on Solo.


"Darkness can be an ally. Darkness can be a teacher. Darkness can be a- OWW! My littlest toe..."
— Upon starting Round 2 on Solo.


"A familiar purpose presents itself...I know now that I should endeavor to turn power on!"
— Upon starting Round 3 on Solo.


"Travel makes me feel queasy. I fear I may bring dishonor to my undergarments. Hurgh..."
— Said on Round 1 in co-op.


"This facility houses many secrets! The Emperor likes secrets. Perhaps I will recover them. Secretly."
— Said on Round 2 in co-op.


"Slowly, I am recovering from my queasiness! Some sushi would be most welcome!"
— Said on Round 3 in co-op.


"I do not recall walls being this money hungry in previous adventures..."
— When buying a wall weapon.


"The spirits speak through the wall! They say, 'Give me your money!'"
— When buying a wall weapon.


"A tool of uh, *moderate* devastation."
— When buying a wall weapon.


"If we are to battle demons, we must barter with other demons!"
— When buying a wall weapon.


"We must send all demons back to Hell! Haha, maybe send Nikki with them!"
— When buying a wall weapon.


"If you do not enter the tiger's cave, you will not catch its cub!"
— When buying a wall weapon.


"Time to put the Kodomotachi in a big time-out!"
— When buying a wall weapon.


"At least honorable walls do not deceive Takeo with dishonorable weapons!"
— When buying a wall weapon.


"Only full-auto honor will silence the Hellions!"
— Receiving an assault rifle from the mystery box.


"Now, to kill Niko-Uh, I mean uh, demons! Haha, yes! Kill the demons!"
— Receiving a weapon from the mystery box.


"I will fill demons with holes!"
— Receiving an automatic weapon from the box.


"At least it is not a pistol. Again."
— Receiving a "good" weapon from the box.


"This will suffice. Until I roll a better weapon."
— Receiving a "bad" weapon from the box.


"Of course this rifle is for me! After all, is a TAK-tical rifle! Hahaha!"
— Receiving a tactical weapon from the box.


"I will return these hellions to the ninth circle!"
— Receiving the Winter's Howl.


"I will make demon icicle!"
— Receiving the Winter's Howl.


"This weapon is as cold as Nikki's Russian heart!"
— Receiving the Winter's Howl.


"Disappointment is my name... Disappointment Masaki."
— Receiving a weak weapon from the box.


"Perhaps the spirits wish to bless us with more ammo? PLEASE?!"
— When low on ammo.


"A warrior should not need to purchase ammunition!"
— Upon purchasing ammunition from a wall.


"Ugh...I am reduced to purchasing more ammo. I am ashamed. Deeply."
— Upon purchasing ammunition from a wall.


"Running ridiculously low on ammo! Literally!"
— Running low on ammunition.


"Hmm, the chalk drawings follow us from ancient temple! Hmph! At least evil maze did not follow too!"
— Upon purchasing ammunition from a wall, referencing Shangri-La.


"If I run out of bullets, my outlook is bleak!"
— Running low on ammunition.


"I must choose my shots carefully. My weapon is nearly empty!"
— Running low on ammunition.


"This is no time to run low on ammo!"
— Running low on ammunition.


"As recent proverb say... No ammo, no life."
— Running low on ammunition.


"Ugh... I am bereft. Bereft with only my blade."
— Out of ammunition.


"Misery... Thy name is Takeo."
— Out of ammunition.


"A warrior does not require ammo! But... but it is preferable!"
— Out of ammunition.


"Without ammo, this fight is deeply perilous!"
— Out of ammunition.


"The taste is pungent! It burns my eyes! Aah! I am blind!"
— Drinking a perk-a-cola.


"Nothing tastes better than American Cola!"
— Drinking a perk in the Cola slot.


"You risk unleashing the wrath of the samurai?"
— Hit by a Zombie.


"Your touch will not be tolerated!"
— Hit by a Zombie.


"Kuso! You have tainted my uniform!"
— Hit by a Zombie.


"Every action will trigger an equal reaction, Hellion!"
— Killing a Zombie that hit him.


"Your feckless touch means nothing!"
— Hit by a Zombie.


"Did your master not teach you proper manners?"
— Hit by a Zombie.


"Chikuso!"
— Hit by a Zombie.


"How dare you touch an envoy of the Emperor?!"
— Hit by a Zombie.


"The demons are enraged today! They literally reek of desperation!"
— Hit by a Zombie.


"Be stricken from this mortal coil!"
— After killing a Zombie.


"Fear the Bushido blade!"
— After killing a Zombie.


"That is for grabbing my... my... I do not wish to elaborate!"
— Killing a Zombie that hit him.


"That smell! It haunts my dreams!"
— When a Crawler Zombie spawns in.


"The devil's perfumer stalks us again!"
— When a Crawler Zombie spawns in.


"Haha! May your gas never torture another- *coughing*"
— After killing a Crawler Zombie.


"If only creature had eyes! It would look in the mirror and kill itself!"
— After killing a Crawler Zombie.


"Ugh... If pure evil was an odor... This would be it!"
— After killing a Crawler Zombie.


"Get back from the fart explosion!"
— After killing a Crawler Zombie.


"Oh...shit."
— When surrounded by zombies.


"Takeo's fun fact of the day. You will all die."
— When surrounded by zombies.


"Oh! A new location! Still, only one small step, Richtofen. Hopefully next move is a giant leap!"
— Teleporting to Groom Lake.


"Ugh... May good fortune smile upon us."
— Waiting for the Pack-a-Punch Machine.


"Traditionally, when we mess with teleporters, things go from bad to worse!"
— Waiting for the Pack-a-Punch Machine.


"Disaster! Thy name is Takeo!"
— Teleporter link interrupted.


"It is impossible! Success was literally assured!"
— Teleporter link interrupted.


"I am defeated. Where is fuzzy monkey? Maybe cuddle will make Takeo feel better!"
— Teleporter link interrupted.


"The Emperor must never hear of this!"
— Teleporter link interrupted.


"Takeo is master! Master of doom and gloom!"
— Teleporter link interrupted.


"Nooooooooooo!"
— Teleporter link interrupted.


"Failure? Me? It cannot be!"
— Teleporter link interrupted.


"Takeo will not claim responsibility for comrade's inability!"
— Teleporter link interrupted.


"For every Yang, there is Yin. For every Takeo, there is Nikolai."
— Teleporter link interrupted.


"A fire brews inside me! Oooh....where is little room for boys?"
— After drinking an Elixir.


"Ancestors, give me power! Oooh...and stronger stomach."
— After drinking an Elixir.


"I have Ray Gun! Should I fall, you will want to revive me!"
— After getting Ray Gun out of Mystery Box


"This is a task for peasants. Where is Nikolai?"
— When repairing a barricade


"This is a task for the brainless. Where is Dempsey?"
— When repairing a barricade


"*Whistling* What? Richtofen does it to pass the time. Why cannot Takeo?"
— When repairing a barricade


"*Sigh* Tedious work. But essential to our success, apparently."
— When repairing a barricade.


"Ugh. This effort is barely worth the pitiful pennies we are paid!"
— When repairing a barricade.


"The only spirits guiding you, Nikki, are the ones in your bottle!"
— Seeing Nikolai kill a horde of Zombies.


"Any dog can catch his own tail, Nikki. But few know what to do next."
— Seeing Nikolai score a headshot.


"Try to do that three more times, Dempsey!"
— Seeing Dempsey score a headshot.


"It takes more than a single headshot to impress me, Dempsey!"
— Seeing Dempsey score a headshot.


"Great! You killed ONE, Dempsey! What about the rest?"
— Seeing Dempsey score a headshot.


"Why must you always be so American, Dempsey?!"
— Seeing Dempsey score a headshot.


"Blind man shooting fish in barrel will still hit many fish, Dempsey!"
— Seeing Dempsey kill a horde of Zombies.


"There is a warrior in you, Dempsey! But your bloodthirst must be tamed!"
— Seeing Dempsey kill a horde of Zombies.


"Dempsey's appetite for violent slaughter is relentless!"
— Seeing Dempsey kill a horde of Zombies.


"Hoho! An angry fire burns within you, Dempsey!"
— Seeing Dempsey kill a horde of Zombies.


"Dempsey would see the way of the warrior! Were he not so foolish!"
— Seeing Dempsey kill a horde of Zombies.


"Nikki could learn a thing from you, Dempsey! But drunkards rarely learn!"
— Seeing Dempsey kill a horde of Zombies.


"There is never a moment where the American is not eager to show off!"
— Seeing Dempsey kill a horde of Zombies.


"Try shouting loudly at them, Dempsey! It has worked for you before!"
— Seeing Dempsey get surrounded.


"Typical American. Blissfully unaware of larger war!"
— Seeing Dempsey get surrounded.


"What happened to your brave American soldier act, Dempsey?"
— Reviving Dempsey.


"The spirits call out to you, Dempsey! They say, 'DO NOT DIE!'"
— Reviving Dempsey.


"Ugh, how much longer now, Richtofen? Takeo is no longer young man! My legs ache! My eyelids are heavy! My stomach growls! When will it end?!"
— Occasionally said to Richtofen after a round.



Nikolai BelinskiEdit

"Oh hello Ray. Do you want some vodka?"
— When receiving the Ray Gun from the Mystery Box


"Who wants powerful, high quality weapon? That Nikolai is totally not lying about."
— Upon sharing a (presumably) low tier Mystery Box weapon in Co-Op


"You know... Picture of Nikolai holding weapon make good promotional material, eh? Contact agent, they sort details."
— Upon picking up a non-wonder weapon from the Mystery Box


"Overkill has nuclear option? I'm sure is very safe."
— Upon reaching max charge with a Level 3 Overkill special weapon.


"Time for impression of cliche American soldier! Ahem... ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
— When activating Overkill special weapon.


"Who wants to play Hot Potato? I have potatoes!"
— When firing grenades with the Overkill special weapon


"Gun is full! Slaughter may now resume."
— When purchasing ammo off the wall.


"Without ammo, only weapon will be body odor! Very deadly, nearly killed third wife."
— When low on ammo.


"If I run out of bullets it will be hammer and sickle time!"
— When low on ammo.


"Anyone want to swap guns? Mine is... Completely full of bullets! Yup! Completely!"
— When low on ammo.


"Surely there are more bullets somewhere! This is America!"
— When low on ammo.


"Oh nyet! Not the click-click again!"
— When low on ammo.


"I am low on ammo! Where is floaty green thingy?"
— When low on ammo.


"Ok, hellpigs, time to go bother Takeo for a while!"
— When low on ammo.


"It could be worse. I could be out of vodka."
— Out of ammo.


"Insta Kill? I prefer insta-drunk! Oh wait, I have that already, heh."
— When picking up Insta-kill


"Max Ammo? What about Max Vodka?."
— When picking up Max Ammo


"Aaaaahg! Nikolai is on fire! *burp* *cough* cough* Oh no wait... was just indigestion."
— After picking up a Nuke


"Why use terrible wood in such nice... uh... forget it."
— After picking up a Carpenter


"Is bribe? I accept!"
— When attacked by a zombie.


"You dare provoke red menace?!"
— When attacked by a Zombie.


"You dare challenge a cossack?!"
— When attacked by a Zombie.


"No, not my vodka!"
— When attacked by a zombie.


"Zombies always attack most formidable foe! Formidable sexy Nikolai!"
— When attacked by a Zombie.


"Ugh, you give more attention than fourth OR fifth wife! Combined!"
— When attacked by a Zombie.


"Sixth wife hit harder than you!"
— When attacked by a Zombie.


"Hellpigs so needy! Do not worry! Nikolai will make time to kill you all!"
— When attacked by a Zombie.


"Why so much attention? Is fragrance, da? Nikolai use special Soviet spruce cologne!"
— When attacked by a Zombie.
Oh
"Why like Nikolai? Is attraction to progressive Socialist ideology? Is understandable. Very appealing."
— When attacked by a Zombie.


"FUCKING SUKA!"
— When attacked by a Zombie.


"You will suffer the red menace!"
— When attacked by a Zombie.


"I already say 'no-touching!'"
— When killing a Zombie that attacked him.


"That is for stealing my vodka!"
— When killing a Zombie that attacked him.


"Nikolai is One-Man-Red Army!"
— When killing a horde of zombies.


"I hit that? Oh, hey, I hit that! Did you see? *sigh* Of course, nobody looking..."
— When scoring a headshot.


"I will make you proud, Vasily!"
— When scoring a headshot.


"Nikolai just want to escape place without Takeo vomiting all over him again!"
— When Pack-a-Punching, referring to the main quest of Call of the Dead


"Richtofen keeps playing with his Golden Rod! He was not raised well."
— When Pack-a-Punching.


"Why would Richtofen want us to come here? It is very boring."
— After Pack-a-Punching.


"Is okay, everyone! Nikolai does not need help. He will fix wall. All by self. Like always."
— Upon rebuilding a barrier.


"Payment for building walls too low. Nikolai should start union."
— Upon rebuilding a barrier.


"Fuck you, hellpig!"
— Upon using the elevator.


"High prices for bare essentials? How American!"
— Attempting to purchase something with insufficient points.


"It seem place does not have cleaning staff. Or... they Zombie"
— Upon picking up part for the Electric Trap


"Okay Dempsey. You can have teeny tiny bit of Vodka to say thank you."
— Upon being revived by Tank Dempsey.


"You were bound to hit something sooner or later, Tak!"
— Seeing Takeo score a headshot.


"Why shoot one at time, German? Were you picky eater as child too?"
— Seeing Richtofen score a headshot.



Edward RichtofenEdit

"Okay, so it's not exactly where I wanted to be, but at least I can find some comfort fiddling with my Golden Rod! AHAHAHAHA!"
— Upon starting Round 1 on Solo.


"I find the office environment stifling. I would have been so much happier if I was floating and bouncing around on the moon right now!"
— Upon starting Round 2 on Solo.


"Fond as I am of dingy, lifeless environments, I would fare better with a little bit of electricity. Hello power switch! I'm coming to find you!"
— Upon starting Round 3 on Solo.


"I actually like dogs! Does that make me a nice person?"
— Upon starting a Hellhound round.


"Well, now I feel empowered!"
— Upon receiving an Assault Rifle from the Mystery Box.


"I shall be tearing more than a few 'new ones'!"
— Receiving an LMG from the Mystery Box.


"I've always thought of adopting a little monkey of mein own! We'd have so much fun!"
— Receiving the Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box.


"Oh, look! It's the little man gun!"
— Receiving a pistol from the Mystery Box.


"I could probably handle 2 at the same time! Yup. Pretty certain!"
— Receiving a pistol from the box.


"Dempsey! This one looks just like you!"
— Receiving the Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box.


"Come, monkey. It will soon be time to sing your final song."
— Receiving the Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box.


"Monkey see, monkey do. Dempsey's the same way."
— Receiving the Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box.


"We could all learn from this... simple simian."
— Receiving the Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box.


"I prefer everything to be fully automatic. Even my Underwear"
— Upon receiving the ABR 223 from the Mystery Box.


" Look how happy I am to get a sniper rifle... Go me."
— Upon receiving a Sniper Rifle from the Mystery Box. Delivered in Monotone


"I hate you, Samantha! You take cruelty to new depths!"
— Getting the Teddy Bear.


"Your laugh is very infectious, Samantha! Very much like Gonorrhea!"
— Getting the Teddy Bear.


"Mock me all you want! One day soon, I will be the one doing the mocking. Ha! HA!"
— Getting the Teddy Bear.


"I'm disappointed. VERY disappointed."
— Getting the Teddy Bear.


"Oh dear, I'm a little bit low on ammo!"
— Running low on ammo.


"Hello?? Anyone have ammo?!"
— Running low on ammo.


"Bullets? Who needs bullets? I DO!"
— Running low on ammo.


"I've only got a few rounds left! NICHT GUHT!"
— Running low on ammo.


"My optimism is diminishing even faster than my ammunition!"
— Running low on ammo.


"I'M DOOMED!"
— Out of ammo.


"I HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO SHOOT!"
— Out of ammo.


"A bullet! A bullet! Mein kingdom for a bullet!"
— Out of ammo.


"Please don't make me use mein fists!"
— Out of ammo.


"No ammo! I'll probably die soon."
— Out of ammo.


"Bullets, are what I need."
— Purchasing ammo.


"I used to have plenty of these. I honestly don't know what happened."
— Purchasing ammo.


"I could KISS you right now, but you're a wall."
— Purchasing ammo.


"Ah, I'd like to comment on how delicious that was, but it wouldn't be true."
— Upon drinking a Cola.


"Honestly, you can't even begin to imagine the things I've had in my mouth."
— Upon drinking a Soda.


"Oh, things are going to get VERY visceral."
— Upon receiving an Insta-Kill.


"Why do we have 'insta-kill' but no 'prolonga-kill'?"
— Upon receiving an Insta-Kill.


"Double! Why not triple? Quadruple? Or even the one that means five times?"
— Upon receiving Double Points.


"Honestly, I'm worth every penny."
— Upon receiving Double Points.


"Look, everyone. I'm making us filthy rich!"
— Upon receiving Double Points.


"Haha, keep them out! Right before you let them back in..."
— Upon receiving a Carpenter.


"I hear the work of unseen hands!"
— Upon receiving a Carpenter.


"Woof, that nearly singed my eyebrows!"
— Upon receiving a Nuke.


"Scream all you want, it's not annoying at all! I like it!"
— Upon receiving a Nuke.


"My point cup runneth over!"
— Upon receiving Bonus Points.


"I'll count mein blessings... one.""
— Upon receiving Max Ammo.


"Bullets make me happy. Especially LOTS of them!"
— Upon receiving Max Ammo.


"Sehr gut! Just what the Doctor ordered!"
— Upon receiving Max Ammo.


"Your skull minimizing surgery went exactly as planned."
— Scoring a headshot.


"Oh, how I miss cranial procedures."
— Scoring a headshot.


"Aw, I was aiming for an imaginary apple just above your head."
— Scoring a headshot.


"Aw... a little bit of brain came out!"
— Scoring a headshot.


"Did you hear that? Or did it actually go through your ear?"
— Scoring a headshot.


"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
— Scoring a headshot.


"I wasn't even TRYING! Hard."
— Scoring a headshot.


"I think that's probably my tenth headshot today. Hooray!"
— Scoring a headshot.


"I live for this!"
— Knifing a zombie.


"I don't like stabbing! I LOVE STABBING!"
— Knifing a Zombie.


"Lick my knife. I DARE YOU!"
— Knifing a Zombie.


"Stab, stab, stabbity-stab-stab!"
— Knifing a zombie.


"The doctor is IN!!"
— Knifing a zombie.


"OHHH, could you FEEL it going in?"
— Knifing a zombie.


"STOP IT!"
— Hit by a zombie.


"How dare you even TOUCH the doctor?"
— Hit by a zombie.


"I will RUIN you for that!"
— Hit by a zombie.


"Oh, That was a big mistake on your part!"
— Hit by a zombie.


"You will regret that. And soon!"
— Hit by a zombie.


"If you wanted to pick a fight, I would have suggested Dempsey!"
— Hit by a zombie.


"You're very insistent, aren't you?"
— Hit by a zombie.


"Don't touch without asking! It's not nice!"
— Hit by a zombie.


"Did you like dying last time? Because you're going to be doing it again very soon!"
— Hit by a zombie.


"You're very...grabby."
— Hit by a zombie.


"I told you I'd be back! If I didn't, I should have."
— Killing a zombie that hit him.


"Goodbye! Or as my Russian friend would say... DAS VAGINA!"
— Killing a zombie that hit him.


"Ugh! I do hope you don't release MORE gas post mortem!"
— Killing a Nova Crawler.


"I seem to remember that you smell even worse than Nikolai. How is that possible?!"
— Killing a Nova Crawler.


"DOWN, GIRL! Or boy. I didn't really get a good look."
— Killing a Hellhound.


"Sorry! I had to put you to sleep!"
— Killing a Hellhound.


"I have seen you drink from the toilet!"
— Killing a Hellhound.


"Aww, the blasts will drown out their agonizing screams!"
— Killing a zombie with a grenade.


"If in doubt, blow everything up! That nearly always works!"
— Killing a zombie with a grenade.


"The potential for accidental deaths is really quite high."
— Killing a zombie with a grenade.


"Oh ja! The Doctor likes!"
— Building the Shield.


"Just what I needed. I'm very protective of my posterior!"
— Building the Shield.


"I wish I had these on some of my previous misadventures."
— Building the Shield.


"Shouldn't Nikolai be doing this? Russians love hard labor!"
— Upon rebuilding a barrier.


"One day, I won't HAVE to perform such menial tasks."
— Upon rebuilding a barrier.


"Mein hands were not designed for manual labor! But labor they must."
— Upon rebuilding a barrier.


"I really do have better things to do."
— Upon rebuilding a barrier.


"HELLO, ZOMBIES! It's nearly ready for you to tear down!"
— Upon rebuilding a barrier.


"Ohh, anyone want to give me a hand?"
— Upon getting downed.


"Agh! I'll do it myself. Believe me, I'm used to it."
— Upon reviving himself.


"I don't need ANYONE to help me get up."
— Upon reviving himself.


"I do love flipping switches, it's always fun!"
— Upon turning on the power.


"Way to go, Dempsey! Too cool for school! Too stupid too."
— To Tank Dempsey


"You think you got three of them, don't you, Nikolai?"
— Seeing Nikolai score a headshot.


"You are an excellent shit, Takeo! Excellent shit indeed! Apologies, mein English is not always perfect."
— Seeing Takeo score a headshot.


"You're very greedy, Dempsey! I don't like it!"
— Seeing Dempsey kill a horde of Zombies.


"Ah, I LOVE finding old recordings! Who knows what you might discover!"
— Picking up a tape recording.


"This could reveal hitherto unknown mysteries of the Universe! Or it could be some poor soul in a basement!"
— Picking up a tape recording.


"I love to record things! Especially things I might forget! I remember that time I recor...ded."
— Picking up a tape recording.


"I literally can't wait to hear this. Honestly. I'm riveted! Look at me. I'm on the edge of mein face!"
— Picking up a tape recording.


"Where oh where can I play this recording? I suppose I'll have to... explore?"
— Picking up a tape recording.


Samantha MaxisEdit

"...I am watching you, Edward. You are so close now! The voices says you will be here soon. But I. Can't. Let. That. HAPPEN!"
— Upon reaching the end of the second round of three in Groom Lake for the last step of Project Skadi when playing as Richtofen.
"Stupid, sneaky, silent Teddy! I know you can hear me! Ignore me all you want, I'm in your head now -- with all your other voices! You think you know the voices so well -- HA! You only briefly touched the aether. You have not lived it like I have! You do not understand what it truly wants."
— Upon completing the Project Skadi Easter Egg when playing as Richtofen.
"Oh, SO brave, Teddy! You come all this way -- just to possess the aether's powers! What was it you wanted? Oh ja, to find Agartha! As if it will somehow solve all your problems! How...childish. Do you want to know, Edward? What I've learned about this place? The aether is not for us. Not me. Not you. Not anyone. We do not use it. It uses us!"
— Randomly speaks upon completing a round when playing as Richtofen.
"If you acquire this power, I know what you will do. I have seen everything. Do not worry, Teddy, I won't ruin the big surprise! It would make your sad little head explode! Besides, it doesn't matter -- because I won't let you take it!"
— Randomly speaks upon completing a round when playing as Richtofen.
"You cannot escape mein kinder [my children]..."
— Randomly speaks in the middle of a round when playing as Richtofen.
"Remember what Daddy said, Teddy? "Kill them all?" You took everything from me. So I will take everything from you. It's only fair! So go on! Play your stupid game with your stupid toys! I plan on breaking all of them! Because when there are no more toys? There will be no. More. Games."
— Randomly speaks upon completing a round when playing as Richtofen.
"How should they kill you, Edward? Quickly? No, I think not. I think: one limb at a time."
— Randomly speaks in the middle of a round when playing as Richtofen.
"Having FUN, Edward???"
— Randomly speaks in the middle of a round when playing as Richtofen.
"You have been bad, Edward! Very bad indeed!"
— Randomly speaks in the middle of a round when playing as Richtofen.
"Oh nein [no]! Mein [my] puppets!! Do not worry, Edward...I have plenty more!"
— Randomly speaks in the middle of a round when playing as Richtofen.
"He said. Leave! Him! ALONE!"
— When interacting with the Main Offices door for the fifth time.





Robert McNamaraEdit

"(sigh) Whatever it is, it can wait. I specifically requested that I'm not to be disturbed under any circumstances. This meeting is of unparalleled importance and I must ensure every is planned to perfection."
— When interacting with the Main Offices door for the first time.
"I'm sorry? Did I not make myself crystal clear? This meeting will literally, and I mean literally, change the course of history. Perhaps you're familiar with the term "mutually assured destruction", well this meeting aims to render that concept obsolete! So I asked you nicely! Leave! Me! BE!"
— When interacting with the Main Offices door for the second time.
"Why are you so damned persistent? What on Earth could possibly be more important than my work? Oh... I know what it is. If this is about the broken server, we are aware of the issue and we will have it fixed by tuesday. So, if there's nothing else, please... Leave me in peace."
— When interacting with the Main Offices door for the third time.
"Good heavens, man, have you no reason?! Are you deaf?! Can you not comprehend the importance of my work?! This isn't just America's fight, it is the world's fight! Wait a minute... Pernell, is that you? Dammit Pernell, if you don't leave me alone, I will have you remove from Groom Lake! I don't give a damn about what the compagny has to say about it, you know better than to bother me at this hour!"
— When interacting with the Main Offices door for the fourth time.
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