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GodfreyEdit

"Who said that? Who's there?"
— In response to Dark Godfrey's quote on Round 1 in a solo match.


"This is going to be a long night."
— Said on Round 1 in a solo match.


"My nerves are shredded raw. I'm not joking when I say I will pour myself the world's largest brandy when all this is over."
— Said on Round 2 in a solo match.


"I had hoped the day would never come, but I fear it may be time to compose my letter of resignation."
— Said on Round 3 in a solo match.


"We must find Master Rhodes. I only pray he's not been transformed into one of those wretched... things."
— Said on Round 1 in Co-op.


"How did this happen? Why can't I even remember the guests arriving? Good heavens, am I losing my marbles?"
— Said on Round 2 in Co-op.


"I am wary of what may lay ahead this night. Perhaps the poet Longfellow was right: "Those the Gods would destroy, they first make mad.""
— Said on Round 3 in Co-op.


"Appearances aside, I think this ghastly box might save my life."
— Seeing the Mystery Box for the first time.


"May the Fates be kind."
— Spinning the Mystery Box.


"These weapons are quite...vulgar. But then again this is a night for vulgarity."
— Getting a weapon from the box.


"Just the thing for clearing the house."
— Getting a weapon from the box.


"This ought to keep the guests at arm's length."
— Getting a weapon from the box.


"My weapon grows frightfully light!"
— Running low on ammo.


"What I wouldn't give to hear that voice say 'maximum ammunition!'"
— Running low on ammo.


"If I don't find more bullets, my 'battlin' butler' days are over!"
— Running low on ammo.


"I'll need fresh ammo soon!"
— Running low on ammo.


"Down to my last few bullets. Best make them count."
— Running low on ammo.


"I'm out! That is the proper verbiage, isn't it?"
— Out of ammo.


"What now?! Surely not fisticuffs?!"
— Out of ammo.


"Oh dear, this is how it starts, isn't it? Next thing I know I'll be crawling around Limehouse with the rest of the addicts."
— Taking the Danu Perk.


"Is this the key to survival or just "Dutch Courage"? I'll take it either way."
— Taking the Danu Perk.


"I do hope Alistair's chemist friend has forgiven me for that business with his eye."
— Taking the Ra Perk.


"Disturbingly intimate. But then again, so is dressing Master Alistair."
— Knifing a zombie.


"A lifetime of proper etiquette and this is what I'm reduced to!"
— Knifing a zombie.


"How on Earth will I explain this to the constables tomorrow?"
— Knifing a zombie.


"We have a strict 'no cannibals' policy here!"
— Knifing a zombie.


"It seems I'm working the carving station tonight."
— Knifing a zombie.


"I know, I know- wrong knife."
— Knifing a zombie.


"Party's over!"
— Knifing a zombie.


"Can we not declare an armistice? Get it? ARM-istice?"
— Shooting off an arm of a zombie.


"Well, that was effective."
— Getting a headshot.


"Shall I announce your departure?"
— Getting a headshot.


"That's how I handled the chaps at boarding school!"
— Getting a headshot.


"So much for identifying the body."
— Getting a headshot.


"Don't know what scares me worse: these things or how good I am at killing them!"
— Getting a headshot.


"Agh! Undead buffoon!"
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"Very good, sir!"
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"Nobody ever respects the help."
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"You're all the same: take, take, take and nary a 'thank you'!"
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"I've half a mind to blinker you."
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"No sense in pinching pennies! "You can't take it with you" after all!"
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"Surely there are more appetizing things to eat than me?"
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"When was the last time you washed those filthy claws?"
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"I swear, if you ruined my one good suit..."
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"I think I remember you. You were just as unpleasant when you were alive."
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"Is it petty to hit back ten times harder? Then call me petty!"
— Killing a zombie that hit him.


"What did you think, I'd just stand there and take it?!"
— Killing a zombie that hit him.


"Even a butler has his limits!"
— Killing a zombie that hit him.


"That's for striking me and eating all the shrimp!"
— Killing a zombie that hit him.


"House rules: Mistreat the help and you're out of here!"
— Killing a zombie that hit him.


"Turnabout is fair play!"
— Killing a zombie that hit him.


"How perfectly revolting."
— Seeing a Catalyst transformation.


"You there, dripping water everywhere! Could you at least try to avoid the Persian rugs?"
— Seeing a Water Catalyst.


"*Gag* This is the final indignity! They've made an open sewer of this place!"
— Seeing an Acidic Catalyst.


"Oh dear, hello? I can't seem to hear anything!"
— Affected by an Electric Catalyst.


"That ghoul is a fire hazard!"
— Seeing a Fire Catalyst.


"Somebody please tell me if I still have eyebrows."
— Caught in a Fire Catalyst' explosion.


"No. No! There are too many!"
— Triggering the lockdown.


"Bats? No. I swear we fumigated the attic just last week!"
— Seeing a Nosferatu for the first time.


"Those eyes. Those awful beady eyes!"
— Seeing a Nosferatu.


"I thought vampires were supposed to be glamorous- even noble! These look like rabid street urchins!"
— Seeing a Nosferatu.


"Is it too much to ask you bat-folk to wear some trousers?"
— Seeing a Nosferatu.


"Do you know why you had to die? Here's a hint: the other ghouls wear trousers."
— Killing a Nosferatu.


"Unclean parasite! That's enough out of you."
— Killing a Nosferatu.


"Red blood, blue blood, none for you, bud."
— Killing a Nosferatu.


"Is there a hell for monster bats? I certainly hope so!"
— Killing a Nosferatu.


"More hideous in death than in life. I didn't think it possible."
— Killing a Nosferatu.


"Yes! You killed me in a dream, I kill you right here, right now!"
— Killing a Nosferatu.


"Heaven help us, they have a werewolf with them. How are we meant to defeat that?"
— Seeing a Werewolf for the first time.


"I do believe the time has come to run and never stop."
— Sometimes said when seeing a werewolf for the first time.


"Pardon my French, but these werewolves need to stay the fuck out!"
— Seeing a werewolf.


"Where do these beasts come from? Where does something that large even hide?"
— Seeing a werewolf.


"Another werewolf? When did my life become the Grand Guignol?"
— Seeing a Werewolf.


"Absolutely no pets on the premises! House rules."
— Seeing a werewolf.


"They say a werewolf can only be killed with silver bullets. I think we all know this not to be true."
— Seeing a werewolf.


"The legends were true. Silver does destroy them."
— Killing a werewolf using a gun with Silver Bullets.


"Worst house guest ever!"
— Killing a werewolf.


"I do believe I am getting the hang of this!"
— Killing a werewolf.


"Sorry you had to go so soon! Shall I fetch your coat?"
— Killing a werewolf.


"This wasn't out here before. You can almost feel the power radiating from it."
— Upon seeing the Pack-a-Punch machine.


"All I'm really building right now is a false sense of security."
— Rebuilding a barrier.


"They're a little less terrifying with a few boards keeping them at arm's length."
— Rebuilding a barrier.


"A shield would be lovely right about now. Any protection would."
— Picking up a Shield part.


"Is this shield in pieces for a reason? Or just for someone's twisted amusement?"
— Picking up a Shield part.


"This thing looks ludicrous."
— Picking up the Shield.


"Well it's not exactly Saville Road, but it will have to do."
— Picking up the Shield.


"Why do I get the feeling this piece of charcoal may prove useful?"
— Picking up the charcoal.


"Come on Godfrey, you've mucked out the stables often enough. Just hold your nose and think of England."
— Picking up the bat dropping.


"What is this smelly thing doing out here?"
— Picking up the sulfur.


"I'd say I earned this."
— Picking up a part.


"I'd be an idiot to leave this behind."
— Picking up a part.


"Now who left this lying around?"
— Picking up a part.


"Shouldn't there be an employee discount?"
— Buying a weapon from the wall.


"These weapons are quite...vulgar. But then again this is a night for vulgarity."
— Buying a weapon from the wall.
"If I can take comfort in anything tonight, it's that Alistair's daughter is not here. Odd that their estrangement would have an upside- even if it broke the master's heart. He wrote yet another pleading letter to her recently, but like the others, it went unanswered."
— Talking about Scarlett Rhodes.


"Oh. My tongue shouldn't be itching, should it?"
— Drinking an Elixir.


"I never felt heroic before tonight, but by God I want more!"
— Getting self-revived.


"Right this way, honored guests. Nothing to fear!"
— Activating Electric Trap.


"My hammer longs for battle. Don't ask me how I know this."
— Reaching full charge on the Hammer of Valhalla.


"The whip-sword and cannon appear to be ready for use."
— Reaching full charge on the Viper and Dragon.


"There. I think that was the right thing to do. Please let that be the right thing to do."
— Upon interacting with the Sentinel Artifacts.


"I spent all day in here, setting up the party. Everything in its place , the floor sparkling... Eight hours of labor, gone in the blink of a dead man's eye."
— Upon entering the main hall.


"The billiards room. I cannot tell you how much money Master Alistair lost in here. Actually, I do know- down to the last penny."
— Upon entering the billiards room.


"I always found this game exceedingly... common. Probably why Master Alistair made me play it so much."
— Approaching the billiard table.


"Ah, my favorite room in the house. Because it is always empty."
— Upon entering the library.


"I told Master Alistair this gun case is an eyesore, but he valued this weapon more than the entire estate."
— Seeing the Alistair's Folly gun case.


"The family plot. My advice is tread softly. Too many angry souls roaming the grounds as it is."
— Upon entering the cemetery.


"So many memories in here: dressing Master Alistair, listening to his deepest thoughts, emptying his chamber pot... I must confess, this is my least favorite room."
— Upon entering the master bedroom.


"Sadly, I fear supper will not be served this evening. Nor ever again."
— Upon entering the dining room.


"Master Alistair used to spend hours on that telescope. If only he'd minded his worldly affairs as closely as he watched the stars."
— Upon entering the greenhouse terrace.


"This unholy substance blocking the gate- it wasn't here before."
— Seeing the barrier to the forest.


"Out of the frying pan, into the fire."
— Upon entering the forest.


"How curious. There wasn't a stone in that vase before."
— Revealing a crystal in a vase.


"It would seem Master Alistair left us a clue. Let us act upon it."
— Seeing an image from the crystal.


"It seemed a bit daft when Master Alistair installed these. Not anymore."
— Installing the Fire Gate trap.


"Is that a grenade?!"
— Shooting balls in the billiard table in the wrong order.


"A shame the old warrior who once wore this can't be here to help."
— Looking at the suit of armor.


""By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.""
— Said at the beginning of the match on solo.


"When all this is over, Godfrey, you will belong to me."
— Said after Godfrey's quote on Round 2.


"You can't quit me, Godfrey. I own you now."
— Said after Godfrey's quote on Round 3.


"Do you really believe that, Godfrey?"
— Sometimes said when Godfrey says certain quotes.


Gideon JonesEdit

"Well this shindig sure got interesting all of a sudden. And when I say interesting, I mean painted with all shades of shit."
— Said on Round 1 in Co-op.


"Screaming sons 'a' bitches are everywhere! We gotta hunker down, circle the wagons, and try to find ourselves a way out."
— Said on Round 2 in Co-op.


"I once fought off an Apache war party for three whole days without so much as a wink of sleep. What I'm saying is, we can do this. Just don't lose your head."
— Said on Round 3 in Co-op.


"Who the hell carved this thing? Sick bastard oughtta be shot!"
— Seeing the Mystery Box for the first time.


"My gun gets any lighter, it's gonna be a damn paperweight!"
— Running low on ammo.


"I'm low on lead and there ain't a gunsmith in sight!"
— Running low on ammo.


"Down to my last few rounds!"
— Running low on ammo.


"I've gone through a pile of bullets. Gotta rustle up some more."
— Running low on ammo.


"Hmm... That'll put hair on your pencil!"
— Taking a perk.


"Sometimes you gotta get hands-on."
— Knifing a zombie.


"You're not worth a bullet!"
— Knifing a zombie.


"That's one way to silence complaints."
— Knifing a zombie.


"Blew the stiff upper lip right off your shoulder!"
— Getting a headshot.


"How's that for a flash in the brainpan?"
— Getting a headshot.


"Nasty piece of work."
— Killing a zombie with Alistair's Folly.


"Hands off, screamer!"
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"Just like city folk, always pawin' at ya'!"
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"Hey, you're scratching up my buckskins!"
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"I'd best pour some whiskey on that wound before it goes septic."
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"I wouldn't have hit back, but then they'd have said I was going soft."
— Killing a zombie that hit him.


"That's what you get for trying to bushwack me!"
— Killing a zombie that hit him.


"You picked the wrong cowpoke to... well, poke."
— Killing a zombie that hit him.


"That settles the score."
— Killing a zombie that hit him.


"Last fool who took a swing at me ended up in a shallow grave, maybe you know him?"
— Killing a zombie that hit him.


"That's for scratching up my Sunday best!"
— Killing a zombie that hit him.


"Don't go startin' somethin' you can't finish."
— Killing a zombie that hit him.


"My eyes, wha-?! Can't hardly hear myself!"
— Affected by the Electric Catalyst.


"Holy crow! *coughs* Damn! Sorry turd-blossom, but you gotta die!"
— Seeing an Acidic Catalyst.


"Okay, who invited the walking outhouse to the party?"
— Seeing an Acidic Catalyst.


"Am I on fire? Cause it sure feels like I'm on fire!"
— Caught in a Fire Catalysts' explosion.


"Those vampires sure got some messed up legs... And is that a tail I see? Better be a tail."
— Seeing a Nosferatu.


"There's more of these pee-wee vampires than you can shake a stick at!"
— Seeing multiple Nosferatu.


"I heard folks over here had funny teeth. But you make 'em look normal!"
— Killing a Nosferatu.


"What'd the Brigadier call em'? "Nosy-fartoo?" Well, adios, Nosy-fartoo!"
— Killing a Nosferatu.


"You weren't nothing but an overgrown coyote!"
— Killing a werewolf.


"Werewolf, roadkill. Ain't no difference now, is there?"
— Killing a werewolf.


"Well whaddaya know, I done skinned me a skinwalker!"
— Killing a werewolf.


"Dead dog. Finally. Somebody pour me a drink!"
— Killing a werewolf.


"That'll teach you to come sniffing around my butt!"
— Killing a werewolf.


"I've seen benches like these in workshops. Different ones for different jobs."
— Approaching a crafting table.


"Well it's this or build our own coffins."
— Rebuilding a barrier.


"No offense, but American wood has more, uh... Rugged individualism. This stuff's just weak."
— Upon rebuilding a barrier.


"Never wanted to quit drinking till' now."
— Drinking an Elixir.


"And here I thought guns were hard to find in this country!"
— Buying a weapon from the wall.


"Come on, shield piece, let's round up your two best buddies!"
— Picking up a Shield part.


"It's like walkin' with a stagecoach door on my back. Not that I'm complainin'."
— Crafting the Shield.


"Gonna put this to use."
— Picking up a part.


"You're coming with me."
— Picking up a part.


"Just gonna tuck this in my holster."
— Picking up a part.


"This is how you live off the land."
— Picking up a part.


"Well looky here."
— Picking up a part.


"I once whupped half a saloon with a pool cue. Wasn't half as fun as using this!"
— Using the Hammer of Valhalla.


"This newfangled booby-trap better work."
— Installing a Fire Gate Energy core.


"Y'all got some funny lookin' saloon doors here in England."
— Activating Fire Gate trap.


"Just hope I'm on the right side of this thing."
— Activating Fire Gate trap.


"Campfire's lit!"
— Activating Fire Gate trap.


"There was a time where I would've thought that was the strangest thing I'd ever seen. That time was ten minutes ago."
— Activating the Sentinel Artifacts.


"It don't feel right: sauntering into a man's bedroom without his say-so. I know, I know! We're fighting dead men and THAT'S what I'm worried about?"
— Upon entering the master bedroom.


"Now see,? Ownin' your own pool table- that's class. Like a brass spittoon, or red velvet drapes in a cathouse."
— Upon entering the billiards room.


"The dining room. Guess that fits the bill, now that we're all on the menu."
— Upon entering the dining room.


"So this is the garden, huh? Good a place as any to end up pushin' daisies."
— Upon entering the gardens.


"Anyone mind if I absquatulate from this boneyard directly? That means "get the heck out.""
— Upon entering the mausoleum.


"This ain't funny. And it don't scare me, neither."
— Seeing his own tombstone in the cemetery.


"Looks like somethin' don't want us goin' through here. Meanin' we'd best find a way to get it open."
— Seeing the barrier to the forest.


"Hammers. Gunshots. All I do is raise a ruckus wherever I go."
— Buying a door.


"Did'ja have a good nap? Swell. Now start chopping."
— Interacting with a suit of armor.


"Go get 'em, partner."
— Interacting with a suit of armor.




Christina FowlerEdit

"Where the hell did everyone go? This better be a joke Alistair, or this is the worst party I've ever been invited to!"
— Said on Round 1 in Solo.


"Okay Christina, get a hold of yourself. Ghosts aren't real. Neither are monsters. The hell they're not!"
— Said on Round 2 in Solo.


"Well, I'm still in this, still in one piece. Emily Post might not approve, but that old skank wouldn't last ten seconds here."
— Said on Round 3 in Solo.


""Hell hath no fury," am I right? Yeah, I'm right. Don't go around scorning people."
— Said on Round 1 in Co-op.


"The spirits have spoken! After eons, we finally have our answer! There IS life after death! And it smells like rotten eggs!"
— Said on Round 2 in Co-op.


"This can't last forever. There can only be so many monsters in this mansion, right?"
— Said on Round 3 in Co-op.


"Well, if it isn't Satan's footlocker. Better be more than pitchforks and underwear inside."
— Seeing the Mystery Box.


"Eenie, meenie, miney, mo..."
— Spinning the mystery box.


"Wait, what? This is not what I paid for!"
— Getting a Pistol from the box.


"I'm having a vision... lots of ghouls... shot fulla holes."
— Getting an SMG from the box.


"I'm gonna name you... "spitfire.""
— Getting an SMG from the box.


"Hmm. Feisty. Petite. Just like me."
— Getting an SMG from the box.


"Loud, slow, and powerful. Two out of three ain't good."
— Getting a Sniper Rifle from the box.


"Looks impressive. But how fast does it shoot?"
— Getting a Sniper Rifle from the box.


"Sometimes, "spray-and-pray" isn't as good as "aim-and-maim.""
— Getting a Sniper or Tactical Rifle from the box.


"It's official: This party is ending with fireworks."
— Getting the Hellion Salvo from the box.


"Aww, box. Always letting me down. Like every man I ever met."
— Getting the skull from the box.


"Hey, why's my gun feeling so light?"
— Running low on ammo.


"My 'pew-pew-pew's about to go 'click-click-click'!"
— Running low on ammo.


"I sense disaster approaching! Disaster! Of the run-out of bullets-and-get-torn-to-pieces variety!"
— Running low on ammo.


"Did I get shortchanged on ammo? Or am I just shooting that much?"
— Running low on ammo.


"No ammo, no blammo."
— Out of ammo.


"Empty. Just like my wallet."
— Out of ammo.


"I'm out! Now, does my gun turn back into a pumpkin?"
— Out of ammo.


"This is worse than running out of champagne"
— Out of ammo.


"That's very pungent indeed, and not in a good way. Believe me, I've a nose for such things."
— Taking the Danu Perk.


"Ooh. I'm not sure I like that. I'm a bit woozy."
— Taking the Zeus Perk.


"Sometimes the simple way's the best!"
— Knifing a zombie.


"I should change my stage name to "Madame Stabina!" Too on-the-nose?"
— Knifing a zombie.


"And stay dead!"
— Knifing a zombie.


"Y'know, my dad was a butcher. Not sure why I just thought of that."
— Knifing a zombie.


"Chop chop!"
— Knifing a zombie.


"You just don't make the cut, sweetie."
— Knifing a zombie.


"Nice to meetcha!"
— Knifing a zombie.


"Guess I should've worn an apron."
— Knifing a zombie.


"I don't mind the stabbing, It's the squishiness that gets me."
— Knifing a zombie.


"There. You are free! Free from your skull."
— Getting a headshot.


"Luck? Skill? WHO CARES?!"
— Killing a horde of zombies.


"Anyone else wanna get grabby?"
— Killing a zombie that hit her.


"Right back atcha, toots!"
— Killing a zombie that hit her.


"You scratch my back, I scratch you!"
— Killing a zombie that hit her.


"That's what you get!"
— Killing a zombie that hit her.


"That's called 'karma.' I'd explain, but you know...karma?"
— Killing a zombie that hit her.


"Admit it: You had that coming."
— Killing a zombie that hit her.


"Shoulda' kept your mitts off me."
— Killing a zombie that hit her.


"Sorry, but I tend to hold a grudge."
— Killing a zombie that hit her.


"Ow! Wait your turn, stinky!"
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"They all want a piece of me! You'd think I'd be used to it by now!"
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"You really need to file those nails!"
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"I'd lay a curse on ya, but what's the point?"
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"Do I have to be the one to teach you some manners?"
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"Sorry! No autographs!"
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"Grabby lil' bastards!"
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"Cor! Someone open a window! That is the worst thing I- *gag* ever smelled!"
— Seeing an Acidic Catalyst.


"Crikey, that one smells worse than the Thames in August."
— Killing an Acidic Catalyst.


"Oh, if Nicky-boy Tesla could only see this."
— Seeing an Electric Catalyst.


"Agh! My bleeding ears!"
— Affected by an Electric Catalyst.


"Oi, get back in the fireplace, you!"
— Seeing a Fire Catalyst.


"OWW! Feels like I walked into a blast furnace!"
— Caught in a Fire Catalysts' explosion.


"Where'd that little bloke come from? The one with the fangs?"
— Seeing a Nosferatu for the first time.


"Creature of the night! I'm going to blow your ugly little head off!"
— Seeing a Nosferatu.


"Another little bloodsucker. Cor, they give me the creeps."
— Seeing a Nosferatu.


"I hate bats. Rats with wings is what they are."
— Seeing a Nosferatu.


"That blood your tasting? That's your own."
— Killing a Nosferatu.


"Naked. Bitey. Pervy eyes. Too many reasons to kill you. Sorry."
— Killing a Nosferatu.


"These Celtic vampires have little tails. Did you notice? That, or, ooh- their wedding tackle's on backwards."
— Killing a Nosferatu.


"Aww, they look kinda cute once you kill em'."
— Killing a Nosferatu.


"Live like a bat, die like a rat."
— Killing a Nosferatu.


"Bloody hell, now it's werewolves?! I'm usually a dog-lover, but tonight's cured me of that."
— Seeing a werewolf for the first time.


"Oh, bollocks! Why'd it have to be a fucking full moon tonight?"
— Seeing a werewolf.


"O wolf who walks like a man, let me lift your curse. I promise it won't hurt! Much."
— Seeing a werewolf.


"The Big Bad Wolf is back, but this little piggy's ready for him."
— Seeing a werewolf.


"Who's a dead boy, huh? Who's a dead boy? You are, aren't you?"
— Killing a werewolf.


"Play dead! Oh. You're good at this."
— Killing a werewolf.


"Let sleeping dogs lie, am I right?"
— Killing a werewolf.


"'Ere, what's this then? An oven? A fireplace? A window to the Great Beyond? Well, don't look at me. I'm a big fake, remember?"
— Seeing the Pack-a-Punch machine.


"Just let me live through this and I swear: no more phony seances."
— Waiting for the Pack-a-Punch machine.


"This thing can't work fast enough."
— Waiting for the Pack-a-Punch machine.


"Well, I really got in over my head today, didn't I?"
— Waiting for the Pack-a-Punch machine.


"And stay out!"
— Rebuilding a barrier.


"Bought myself what, ten seconds? I'll take it."
— Rebuilding a barrier.


"I swear, if break a nail doing this."
— Rebuilding a barrier.


"There's instructions on this table. Too bad I can't read factorese."
— Approaching a crafting table.


"Gonna need this to cover my back."
— Picking up a Shield part.


"Another puzzle piece."
— Picking up a Shield part.


"A lump of coal. Brilliant. Christmas came early for me."
— Picking up charcoal.


"Bat "guano?" What the hell is guano? *Sniffs* Wait... eugh."
— Picking up the bat dropping.


"Brimstone. It's my lucky day, I guess."
— Picking up the sulfur.


"Never know when I might need this."
— Picking up a part.


"Come on, we've got work to do."
— Picking up a part.


"A girl can't have enough of these."
— Picking up a part.


"Be a shame to leave this lying around."
— Picking up a part.


"Hope this proves useful."
— Picking up a part.


"I call dibs on this."
— Picking up a part.


"Finders keepers."
— Picking up a part.


"Hey! That tickles me nose! Great. Now I can't smell anything."
— Drinking an Elixir.


"Is this supposed to make my teeth hurt?"
— Drinking an Elixir.


"Pickle juice. Pretty sure that was pickle juice."
— Drinking an Elixir.


"Ack. Tastes like someone mixed clam juice and formaldehyde."
— Drinking an Elixir.


"Fellas? I don't really do the damsel-in-distress thing, so I'm not gonna ask for help, but if you guys want me around to save your asses, you might wanna consider giving me a hand here? For your own good, not mine, okay?"
— Getting downed.


"Up and at em', girl!"
— Getting self-revived.


"Time for my encore. Knock 'em dead, kid."
— Getting self-revived.


"I'm not usually the damsel-in-distress type, but you do know how to make a girl feel safe."
— Getting revived.


"The spirits are pleased with you, Brigadier. And by spirits, I mostly mean me."
— Getting revived by Jonathan Warwick.


"Got me a couple of new trinkets, lads! Come take a look."
— Using the Chakrams of Vengeance.


"The Chakrams demand vengeance! Is there a volunteer from the audience?"
— Using the Chakrams of Vengeance.


"Oh, my Viper and Dragon feel eager for action- Like puppies pulling on their leash."
— Reaching max charge with the Viper and Dragon.


"Hammer of Valhalla's ready for a scrap. Who wants some?"
— Reaching max charge with the Hammer of Valhalla.


"Wooh! Again! Again!"
— Using a fast travel.


"Sure beats the twopenny tube."
— Using a fast travel.


"Not sure what just happened, but I could really use a cigarette."
— Using a fast travel.


"No, no, no, this can't be happening!"
— Upon seeing zombies for the first time in solo.


"Forces of the spirit world! Deliver us from darkness! And maybe stop sending all those dead blokes our way?"
— Upon activating the Sentinel Artifacts.


"I grew up in an East End tenement. Nine families lived in my building. This room could swallow it whole."
— Upon entering the main hall.


"Anyone up for a quick game of snooker? I'm sure our screamey friends won't mind."
— Upon entering the billiards room.


"I love the smell of books. Closest thing to the smell of money."
— Upon entering the library.


"Perfect for an intimate dinner with fifty of your closest friends."
— Upon entering the dining room.


"The cellar. Brilliant. Nothing bad ever happens in a cellar."
— Upon entering the wine cellar.


"Nice place for a picnic. Long as we're not what's for lunch."
— Upon entering the cemetery.


"Nice to get a whiff of fresh air for a change."
— Upon entering the


"The park is open. And here comes the welcoming committee."
— Upon opening up the forest area.


"Hang on, why's this crystal hidden in that vase?"
— Revealing a crystal in a vase.


"Ooh, that thing's glowing all pretty-like. Wonder what it does?"
— Charging a crystal.


"I'm meant to go find that thing I saw... apparently?"
— Seeing an image in the crystal.


"You see it too, yes? The clock face on the floor?"
— Setting a clock.


"Huh? Picture's different."
— Revealing a painting.


"Here comes my fan club."
— Initiating Perk lock down.


"You got one that matches my earrings?"
— Buying a weapon from the wall.


"Just another Friday night, pulling weapons from the wall."
— Buying a weapon from the wall.


"Well, maybe I can sell the ones I don't use."
— Equipping Silver Bullets.


"Oh, what now?"
— Seeing a ghost.


"Nice suit of armor, but a bit creepy."
— Looking at the suit of armor.


Jonathan WarwickEdit

"Let's take stock of the situation, shall we? Either someone doped me with opium, or I've gone completely off my chump. Then again, in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king!"
— Said on Round 1 in Solo.


"Yes! A small moment in which I may catch my breath. The good news is that the enemy are not terribly bright. The bad news: They appear to be dead already."
— Said on Round 2 in Solo.


"Alistair my friend, I know not if you are safe, or if you've become one of these poor, wretched flesh-devils... But I do know you still throw one hell of a party!"
— Said on Round 3 in Solo.


"Those ghouls have made an utter shambles of Alistair's fine house! As the lord is my witness, I will not allow them to do the same to us!"
— Said on Round 1 in Co-op.


"My hands are shaking! Heart fit to burst from my chest! For the first time in years, I feel like a proper soldier!"
— Said on Round 2 in Co-op.


"I was at Rorke's Drift when the Zulu tried to overrun us. Tonight feels rather like Deja Vu. Or is it Deja Voodoo?"
— Said on Round 3 in Co-op.


"This beastly box wasn't part of Alistair's collection."
— Seeing the Mystery Box for the first time.


"Not too big, not too small. It's the Goldilocks rifle!"
— Getting an assault rifle from the box.


"Finally, a weapon with style and refinement. I shall mind P's and Q's as I blast the holy shit from my enemies!"
— Getting the Alistair's Folly from the mystery box.


"This looks deadly enough, but zounds, what an ugly weapon."
— Getting an SMG from the box.


"Is this a stunted rifle or an overgrown pistol?"
— Getting an SMG from the box.


"If nothing else, I've seen the future of warfare tonight."
— Getting an automatic rifle from the box.


"I'm feeling rather bricky with this in hand."
— Getting an automatic rifle from the box.


"Not the most sophisticated weapon, but I'm not trying to impress anyone- just blow them to shreds."
— Getting a shotgun from the box.


"It's loud, and crude, and it shouts down all comers. Just like me."
— Getting a shotgun from the box.


"These guns may lack an artful flourish, but firepower has a beauty all its own."
— Getting a tactical rifle from the box.


"Now THIS is a proper rifle!"
— Getting a tactical rifle from the box.


"Present arms!"
— Getting a tactical rifle from the box.


"This is like bringing a bloody howitzer to a knife fight!"
— Getting a sniper rifle from the box.


"Brilliant. A starting pistol- so the ghouls can race to tear me apart."
— Getting a pistol from the box.


"Stay put, box! That is an order!"
— Getting the Skull from the box.


"Quartermaster! If you're listening, I could really use a reload!"
— Running low on ammo.


"Blast! My weapon will soon be as empty as a politician's promises!"
— Running low on ammo.


"I'm low on ammo! But this party is far from over."
— Running low on ammo.


"Best find more bullets before my gun goes silent!"
— Running low on ammo.


"Anyone seen a cartridge box around here? No? Fuck me."
— Out of ammo.


"My gun's as empty as a bird's nest in December."
— Out of ammo.


"I'm poked up to admit it, but I'm stone out of ammo."
— Out of ammo.


"Even though I am blessed with an abundance of vigor and vitality, I'm not ashamed to enhance what's there by nature."
— Taking the Danu Perk.


"*Cough* So now it's magic smelling salts? What a night this is shaping up to be."
— Taking the Ra Perk.


"I will fight with renewed vigor! For King! And Country!"
— Taking the Zeus Perk.


"Goodness me! I feel somehow energized!"
— Taking the Odin Perk.


"Meet my lady friend! Her name is bayonet!"
— Knifing a zombie.


"Pardon. Didn't mean to cut you off there."
— Knifing a zombie.


"Saw your timber, you wretched thing!"
— Knifing a zombie.


"Sometimes the old ways work best!"
— Knifing a zombie.


"Test my dash-fire, will you?!"
— Knifing a zombie.


"Anyone else want to shake hands?!"
— Knifing a zombie.


"Toodle-pip, you motherless prat!"
— Getting a headshot.


"Pop! Rather like a party favor!"
— Getting a headshot.


"A "farewell to arms" always sounded more... pleasant than this."
— Shooting an arm off a zombie.


"You lot could learn a thing or two from me!"
— Killing a horde of zombies.


"Ha! I cannot miss."
— Killing a horde of zombies.


"Got to crack a few eggs as they say!"
— Killing a horde of zombies.


"Any more for any more? I dare you!"
— Killing a horde of zombies.


"Good shooting if I say so myself! And I do!"
— Killing a horde of zombies.


"I haven't lost a step. You on the other hand..."
— Shooting a leg off a zombie.


"I saw men blown in half during the Boer war. They had the decency to stay put."
— Making a crawler.


"Someone failed to finish this one off!"
— Making a crawler.


"Crawling, screaming, trailing a bloody smear! Have you no self-respect whatsoever?!"
— Making a crawler.


"Hmm. Legless, but still lethal."
— Making a crawler.


"Oh, I'll never be able to un-see that."
— Killing a zombie with the Alistair's Folly.


"RUUUUUUUMBLE thy bellyful! Spit! Fire! HAHAHAHAH!"
— Killing a zombie with the Alistair's Folly.


"Finally! A weapon as bombastic as I am!"
— Killing a zombie with the Alistair's Folly.


"I am Zeus hurling lightning! I am the destroyer of worlds!"
— Killing a zombie with the Alistair's Folly.


"Well kiss my ruddy arse! This gun is fucking superb!"
— Killing a zombie with the Alistair's Folly.


"It's the gun to end all guns!"
— Killing a zombie with the Alistair's Folly.


"Well, that's rather stomach-churning."
— Killing a zombie wit the Alistair's Folly.


"Cheeky bugger!"
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"Bracket-faced mutton monger!"
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"You keep that snapping sauce box far from me!"
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"Respect the uniform!"
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"You want to shake a flannin? Just try that again!"
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"Get back! That is a direct order!"
— Getting hit by a zombie.


"I'll not be manhandled by moldering riffraff!"
— Killing a zombie that hit him.


"I actually recognized that one! Never could abide the lickspittle!"
— Killing a zombie that hit him.


"That's what you get for laying hands on a gentlemen!"
— Killing a zombie that hit him.


"You couldn't wait your turn, could you?"
— Killing a zombie that hit him.


"Keep your thrice-damned dandles off me!"
— Killing a zombie that hit him.


"If I let that go unanswered, everyone would want a turn!"
— Killing a zombie that hit him.


"The day I'm pulled down by the likes of you is... well, it's not today."
— Killing a zombie that hit him.


"You simpering smellfungus!"
— Killing a zombie that hit him.


"You should've remembered your place!"
— Killing a zombie that hit him.


"I didn't survive the Boers and the Zulu to be brought down by you lot!"
— Killing a zombie that hit him.


"Learn your place, ghoul!"
— Killing a zombie that hit him.


"This is why I hate parties!"
— Surrounded by zombies.


"Clear off! I am not your supper!"
— Surrounded by zombies.


"Can't say I like the look of that one- Skulking about like an East End catpurse."
— Seeing a Water Catalyst.


"I see now. The blue ones avoid the front lines... Because they're the medics!"
— Seeing zombies get charged by a Water Catalyst.


"Egads! The Great Stink of 1858 has returned!"
— Seeing an Acidic Catalyst.


"Electricity. It's all the rage these days."
— Seeing an Electric Catalyst.


"Feels like... I stared into the sun."
— Affected by an Electric Catalyst.


"Looks like this one has a touch of heartburn."
— Seeing a Fire Catalyst.


"Stone the crows! Smells like my whiskers are burning!"
— Caught in a Fire Catalyst' Explosion.


"Those are the biggest bats I've ever seen. And I saw some stonkers in the Transvaal."
— Seeing a Nosferatu for the first time.


"A blood-sucking pygmy?! Is there no end to the beasts we must battle?!"
— Seeing a Nosferatu for the first time.


"Gruesome little shits, aren't they?"
— Seeing a Nosferatu.


"And the vampires just keep coming!"
— Seeing a Nosferatu.


"Another fiend with fangs. Lovely!"
— Seeing a Nosferatu.


"The Romanians have a word for these bloodsuckers: "Nosferatu." I think it means... Bloodsucker."
— Seeing a Nosferatu.


"More sneaky, pointy-eared bastards!"
— Seeing a Nosferatu.


"I thought you'd look better dead, but... Sorry, no. Still as ugly as sin!"
— Killing a Nosferatu.


"Brigadier General Jonathan Warwick: vampire hunter!"
— Killing a Nosferatu.


"Stay back, parasite! Brigadier blood is too good for the likes of you!"
— Killing a Nosferatu.


"Bloodsucker! Lickspittle! Mumblecrust! There's no name foul enough for you... Shithead!"
— Killing a Nosferatu.


"You should've just bitten your tongue!"
— Killing a Nosferatu.


"That wide-eyed look of surprise. Priceless!"
— Killing a Nosferatu.


"Nothing like a ten-foot wolf to test your battle skills!"
— Seeing a werewolf.


"Come to me, you overgrown cur! The Brigadier will teach you how to howl!"
— Seeing a werewolf.


"Another ruddy werewolf? Is this a mansion or a fucking kennel?!"
— Seeing a werewolf.


"Brigadier General Jonathan Warwick: wolf slayer!"
— Killing a werewolf.


"So much for the Hound of the Wankervilles."
— Killing a werewolf.


"I wonder, if an old fart like me climbed in there, would a younger, stronger me emerge?"
— Waiting for the Pack-a-Punch machine.


"I've taken quite a shine to our fortune teller. As the Yanks like to say, that girl has moxie."
— Waiting for the Pack-a-Punch, talking about Christina Fowler.


"The Yank's not half the fool I thought he was. Hell, he reminds me of me."
— Waiting for the Pack-a-Punch, talking about Gideon Jones.


"Call me "the chairman of the board!" Hahaha! Get it?"
— Repairing a barricade.


"We keep plugging holes, they keep getting in."
— Rebuilding a barrier.


"We really should hire a few chaps to do this for us, wot?"
— Rebuilding a barrier.


"Where the blazes are these things coming from?!"
— Buying a weapon from the wall.


"Next we'll be buying grenades from the bloody commode!"
— Buying a weapon from the wall.


"Alistair posted schematics on these workbenches. I wonder what this one does."
— Approaching a crafting table.


"Possession is nine-tenths of the law."
— Picking up a part.


"Alistair, old bean. Was this part of your collection?"
— Picking up a part.


"Something for my collection."
— Picking up a part.


"This looks useful."
— Picking up a part.


"I'm not too proud to scrounge."
— Picking up a part.


"Best not leave this lying around."
— Picking up a part.


"The right tool for the right job."
— Picking up a part.


"Mustn't let perfectly good kit go to waste."
— Picking up a part.


"Would it have been so hard to provide the shield whole instead of in pieces?"
— Picking up a Shield part.


"I used to think shields cowardly... And then I fought the Zulu."
— Picking up a Shield part.


"Armor is always welcome at times like this."
— Picking up a shield part.


"Suitable for keeping rain off one's back, and pain off one's back."
— Crafting the Shield.


"Old Ironbutt, they called me. Never more true than now."
— Buying the Shield.


"The "Ironclad Brigadier." I like the sound of that."
— Buying the Shield.


"My shield is gone. Who designed these blasted things, anyway?!"
— Upon Shield breaking.


"My shield is dead. Long live my next fucking shield!"
— Upon Shield breaking.


"The shield that covered my ass was not up to dick."
— Upon Shield breaking.


"Foul stuff. Bloody foul. Have to try some more."
— Drinking an Elixir.


"Here's to my health!"
— Drinking an Elixir.


"The Chakrams of Vengeance feel ready for... er, vengeance."
— Reaching max charge with the Chakrams of Vengeance.


"Ooh that tingle means the Chakrams are ready again."
— Reaching max charge with Chakrams of Vengeance.


"I feel you, my Chakrams. Do you have something new to show me?"
— Reaching max charge with the Chakrams of Vengeance.


"These Chakrams are brilliant! Where on Earth did Alistair find them?"
— Using the Chakrams of Vengeance.


"Time to let fly with my secret weapon!"
— Using the Chakrams of Vengeance.


"Astonishing! It seeks them out like a rat-catching hound!"
— Using the Chakrams of Vengeance.


"A lad could get to feeling invincible using these."
— Using the Chakrams of Vengeance.


"Chakram. Such a beautiful word. Such a vicious weapon."
— Using the Chakrams of Vengeance.


"Chakram, you deserve a promotion."
— Using the Chakrams of Vengeance.


"Haha! Rather efficient."
— Using the Chakrams of Vengeance.


"I give you fair warning, ghouls: you are not long for this Earth!"
— Using the Chakrams' Level 3 Ability.


"Come, ghouls! Just try to storm this castle!"
— Using the Chakrams Level 3 Ability.


"The Viper and Dragon feel primed for battle!"
— Reaching max charge with the Viper and Dragon.


"I wonder if the Viper and Dragon have something more to offer."
— Reaching max charge with the Viper and Dragon.


"Zounds! The Dragon is a bloodthirsty beast."
— Using the Viper and Dragon.


"Ah-ha! There was a jewel secreted in that vase!"
— Revealing a jewel in the vase.


"What the devil? Alistair's crystal seems to think it's a glow-worm."
— Fully charging the jewel.


"Some kind of mystic vision. But what exactly is it trying to say?"
— Seeing an image in the jewel.


"I think I've seen our next objective. We must search the estate."
— Seeing an image in the jewel.


"It appears our battleground is literally drawn out for us."
— Setting the clock.


"Another arrow for my quiver, so to speak."
— Picking up a tuning fork.


"You can't die now! I have to show off for someone!"
— Reviving a downed player.


"Well if that doesn't get your heart racing, you're already dead."
— Using a fast travel.


"Had to check to make sure I didn't leave my goolies behind."
— Using a fast travel.


"HA! Who says the old man lost his get up and go, eh?"
— Using a fast travel.


"Zounds! Feels like I just got fired from a cannon!"
— Using a fast travel.


"Warwick, you old scobberlotcher, get up off your arse and fight!"
— Getting revived.


"Er... Would you accept a promissory note?"
— Attempting to buy something with insufficient points.


"Haha! Feels like I just lit the fuse on a cannon!"
— Activating the Sentinel Artifacts.


"I always loved this room. Feels like a proper museum in here. Of course, Alistair had a... difficult history with museums."
— Upon entering the main hall.


"Alistair collected books on the strangest topics. Do tell if you see one titled "Ghoul Extermination"."
— Upon entering the library.


"I recognize this pistol. "Alistair's Folly," he called it. The folly would be to stand downrange of it."
— Seeing the Alistair's Folly in the locked box in the library.


"During the siege of Ladysmith, we ran a field hospital in a billiards hall. Operations, amputations, all done on the tables. I'll never touch a cue stick again."
— Upon entering the billiards room.


"I've spent the last ten years dreading my inevitable, lingering death in a bed such as this. Well, that's the least of my worries now, isn't it?"
— Upon entering the Master Bedroom.


"Whatever we do down here, let's be quick about it. This room has "death trap" written all over it."
— Upon entering the wine cellar.


"I've spent more than a few pleasant evenings in here with Alistair. Where the hell is he?"
— Upon entering the dining room.


""Tell me, Alistair, what are you growing in your greenhouse these days?" "Oh, the usual stuff: a telescope, some science experiments, an electrified death trap...""
— Upon entering the greenhouse laboratory.


"Alistair's garden. I'm amazed it's not withered, as much traveling as he did."
— Upon entering the gardens.


"You know, I have relatives buried out here. I pray we don't run into them now."
— Upon entering the cemetery.


"Hmm. It would seem that reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated."
— Seeing his own tombstone in the cemetery.


"There must be a way past this gate. It may be our only way out of here."
— Seeing the barrier to the forest.


"Alistair prized this armor, though he never told me why."
— Looking at a suit of armor.


"Fire in the hall!"
— Activating the fire trap.


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