This article is a list of quotes, that characters recite from time to time, from the tenth Zombies map Shangri-La.
Note: Weapon specific quotes (except Wonder Weapons) are only heard in the Call of Duty: Black Ops version.
Tank Dempsey[]
- "Ugh we have the same objective again, I'm getting tired of this, you know you guys NEVER give the community what they want!"
- — Upon spawning.
- "Lights are out, Perk-a-Cola machines are out, the zombies aren't here yet, guess that means we gotta turn on the power."
- — At the beginning of a match
- "Power's out... wait, does power even make sense in an ancient temple? Seriously, Treyarch? SERIOUSLY?"
- — At the beginning of a match
- "Power's out, then again, why is there power in an ancient temple? FUCK YOU TREYARCH!"
- — At the beginning of a match
- "Finally, we're out of that damn closet!"
- — Upon spawning. Reference to the Original Characters Trapped easter egg.
- "No power. (yawn) I'm so bored of this "quote-unquote" objective that I can't even complain anymore...."
- — At the beginning of the match
- "No dice, gutterbags. You Die!"
- — Upon getting a Spikemore kill
- "Spikes are way better than clay!...Okay, that was a bad joke. Sorry."
- — After getting a Spikemore kill (A reference to the Claymore)
- "Care for some spikes, Mr. Jones? (Reference to Indiana Jones)"
- — Upon getting a Spikemore kill
- "Crack shot certification complete. Where's my medal?"
- — Upon getting a headshot
- "DIE! DIE!"
- — Upon killing multiple zombies.
- "FREAKS!"
- — Upon killing multiple zombies
- "Body parts flying, zombies dying, just another Dempsey day!"
- — Upon killing multiple zombies.
- "Kaaa-Blooee! Nice."
- — Upon getting an explosive kill.
- "You see that?! There's brains all over the place! (Laughing)"
- — Upon getting an explosive kill.
- "Fly, zombags, fly!"
- — Upon getting an explosive kill
- "Woo, you want fries with that!?"
- — Upon killing a Napalm Zombie
- "Oh yeah. Burn, baby!"
- — Upon killing a Napalm Zombie
- "That smells a bit like burning napalm!"
- — Upon killing a Napalm Zombie
- "Burn in hell, you ash-bag!"
- — Upon killing a Napalm Zombie
- "Anyone bring marshmallows?"
- — Upon killing a Napalm Zombie
- "Serves you right, thief."
- — Upon killing a Zombie Monkey.
- "Fuck you, monkey! That ain't yours!"
- — Upon killing a Zombie Monkey.
- "Die, monkey! That's mine!"
- — Upon killing a Zombie Monkey.
- "Drop it!"
- — Upon killing a Zombie Monkey.
- "You steal, you bite it."
- — Upon killing a Zombie Monkey.
- "Have some Green balls with your ZOMBIE SAUCE!"
- — Upon killing a Zombie with the Ray Gun.
- "I didn't say we could snuggle!"
- — Upon killing a female zombie that recently hit him.
- "Get off of me, cupcake! I already had dessert!"
- — Upon killing a female zombie that recently hit him.
- "Holy hell, I made a mini Richtofen!"
- — Upon shrinking a Zombie with the 31-79 JGb215
- "Kicking Zombie ass, literally!"
- — Upon kicking away a shrunken group of Zombies
- "Gah! My knee caps!"
- — Upon being hit by a crawler
- "Shit, When's Treyarch inventing shin armor? "
- — Upon being by a crawler
- "Where the hell were you when I went down?"
- — Upon being revived
- "Yeah, that totally sucked. Thanks. (Sighs) Can't believe I just said that."
- — Upon being revived
- "Well that just about ruined my weekend..."
- — Upon being revived
- "If I run outta ammo I'm kickin' your ass, player. Notice I didn't say shooting... cause I need FUCKIN' AMMO FOR THAT!"
- — Upon running out of ammo.
- "Need some lovejuice, sweetheart!"
- — Upon running out of ammo.
- "Hey player, you got about 20 seconds till I show up in your living room and have words with you...or until I say another out of ammo line...GET THE HINT?!"
- — Upon running out of ammo.
- "I better start looking for some lead."
- — Upon running out of ammo.
- "No ammo, well this freakin' sucks."
- — Upon running out of ammo.
- "Time to get some juice for this gun, I'm out!"
- — Upon running out of ammo.
- "I need to get some honey for this sweet thing."
- — Upon running out of ammo.
- "Always running low on ammo..."
- — Upon running out of ammo.
- "Gonna need some gun juice, pronto!"
- — Upon running out of ammo.
- "No Juice, no fun, puts Dempsey in a bad mood..."
- — Upon running put of ammo.
- "Ah, the M16. Maiming zombies since 1964."
- — After getting the M16
- "M. 1. 6. Bringing the heat, baby."
- — After getting the M16
- "The beautiful M1-slick! My fave."
- — After getting the M16
- "This is gonna deliver a metric crap ton of awesome!"
- — After buying an SMG off the wall
- "Let's do this!"
- — After getting an SMG from the Mystery Box.
- "Small, lightweight, slings bullets, that belongs in my fun book."
- — After getting an SMG from the Mystery Box.
- "Time to dance, Sally. I hope you know the two-step."
- — After getting an SMG from the Mystery Box.
- "Yeah! Fun for the whole family!"
- — After obtaining the M72 LAW or China Lake from the Mystery Box. Also a reference from Tallahassee in Zombieland.
- "Well, this looks like it'll tear some shit up."
- — After obtaining the M72 LAW or China Lake from the Mystery Box.
- "Now, THIS is some grade-A gear here."
- — After obtaining the M72 LAW or China Lake from the Mystery Box.
- "Alright zombies, it's time to meet your maker...well the first maker...not Richtofen, know what I mean? Aghhh, DIE TIME!"
- — After obtaining the RPK or HK21 from the Mystery Box. (A reference to how Richtofen helped create the zombies and hinting that Dempsey is recovering from the 115 memory wipe)
- "Winning!"
- — After obtaining the RPK or HK21 from the Mystery Box.
- "Awesometown, population one...and it ain't you."
- — After obtaining the RPK or HK21 from the Mystery Box.
- "Standard-issue MG...good enough for me."
- — After obtaining the RPK or HK21 from the Mystery Box.
- "Come get some, freakbags. Ooh-rah!"
- — After obtaining the RPK or HK21 from the Mystery Box.
- "Time to turn them inside-out!"
- — After obtaining the RPK or HK21 from the Mystery Box.
- "Hey, freakmeats! I heard there's a lead storm coming your way!"
- — After obtaining the RPK or HK21 from the Mystery Box.
- "Good for me, bad for you, freaksacks!"
- — After obtaining the RPK or HK21 from the Mystery Box.
- "Ooh, you're gonna suck on this, assmaggots."
- — After obtaining the RPK or HK21 from the Mystery Box.
- "Kickass!"
- — After obtaining the RPK or HK21 from the Mystery Box.
- "What do you know? I got crap."
- — After obtaining the CZ75 or Python from the Mystery Box.
- "This isn't really classified as a "weapon", is it?"
- — After obtaining the CZ75 or Python from the Mystery Box.
- "Weak."
- — After obtaining the CZ75 or Python from the Mystery Box.
- "Ey, look at that. I got a piece of shit out of the box."
- — After obtaining the CZ75 or Python from the Mystery Box.
- "Awesome. A piece of crap."
- — After obtaining the CZ75 or Python from the Mystery Box.
- "This is AWESOME!"
- — After obtaining the Duel-Wield CZ75 from the Mystery Box.
- "It's about to rain lead, freaksacks!"
- — After obtaining the Duel-Wield CZ75 from the Mystery Box.
- "Enough love for both hands! Hah!"
- — After obtaining the Duel-Wield CZ75 from the Mystery Box.
- "I got two words for ya. Bad-ass!"
- — After obtaining the Duel-Wield CZ75 from the Mystery Box.
- "Good, bad, I'm the guy with two guns!"
- — After obtaining the Duel-Wield CZ75 from the Mystery Box.
- "Hey guys, I got the Ray Gun!"
- — After obtaining the Ray Gun.
- "Well, green balls are better than blue balls any day of the week!"
- — After obtaining the Ray Gun (Reference to WeeklyTubeShow2's Piccolo lays a Beating).
- "Time for them to pay up, and I am the taxman."
- — After obtaining the Ray Gun.
- "Awww, this' my pretty little baby, come here. Mwah!"
- — After obtaining the Ray Gun.
- "Oh yeah, time to die, gutterballs."
- — After obtaining the Ray Gun.
- "Ray, buddy! How you've been? I've been travelling through time and kicking ass."
- — After obtaining the Ray Gun.
- "Monkey, you're back!"
- — After obtaining the Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box.
- "Sing a little song for me, monkeybones."
- — After obtaining the Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box.
- "My little furry ball of fury! CUTE!"
- — After obtaining the Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box.
- "Time to party, monkey. Take it to the bank, bud."
- — After obtaining the Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box.
- "Hey, Richtofen. Your mom says hello."
- — After obtaining the Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box.
- "Yo, she-bitch, FUCK YOU!"
- — When the Mystery Box disappears
- "I. Hate. That. BOX!"
- — When the Mystery Box disappears
- "Can we all agree that this whole "box moving" thing is a little overdone?"
- — When the Mystery Box disappears
- "Hey, box. Come back so that I can light you on fire!"
- — When the Mystery Box disappears
- "That little girl's a real pain in the ass."
- — When the Mystery Box disappears
- "Hey, fishy, fishy, fishy."
- — After drinking Quick Revive.
- "This is cool and all, but I already get headshots."
- — After drinking Deadshot Daiquiri.
- "Mmm, Jugger-Girl, I think I love you."
- — After drinking Juggernog
- "Cowboy up, partner!"
- — After drinking Double Tap Root Beer
- "Gugh, this stuff gives me the shakes."
- — After drinking Speed Cola
- "Ugh, goes down like some hardcore lemon-lime with a twist of gasoline."
- — After drinking Stamin-Up
- "Slap your body to the floor, everybody needs some more of your explosive lovin'?... he he, genius."
- — After drinking PhD Flopper
- "Max ammo, more killing! Ooh-rah."
- — After receiving a Max Ammo powerup.
- "Oh yeah!"
- — After getting a Max Ammo power-up.
- "Juice time!"
- — After getting a Max Ammo power-up.
- "Yea, sure. Keep 'em out."
- — After getting a Carpenter power-up.
- "Well, thats...almost helpful."
- — After getting a Carpenter power-up.
- "That should buy us some time...a little time."
- — After getting a Carpenter power-up.
- "Double down!"
- — After getting Double Points.
- "Light 'em up!"
- — After getting Double Points.
- "We just got bumped up a pay grade!"
- — After getting Double Points.
- "Time to die, maggot whores!"
- — After getting an Insta-Kill power-up.
- "I'll kill every last one of you flesh sores!"
- — After getting an Insta-Kill power-up.
- "Who want's some of this!?"
- — After getting an Insta-Kill power-up.
- "Eat that you nasty gutter slugs!"
- — Upon getting a Nuke.
- "Suuuwwweeet!"
- — Upon getting a Nuke.
- "Yeah, check that out!"
- — Upon getting a Nuke.
- "Alright, almost free weapons! Woo-hoo!"
- — After getting a Fire Sale power-up.
- "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
- — After getting a Fire Sale power-up.
- "Ten point's a pull! I think Rectal-Fan would do it for free."
- — After getting a Fire Sale power-up.
- "Ten point's a pull! Cheaper than the red-light district."
- — After getting a Fire Sale power-up.
- "That shit-throwing monkey is stealing our shit!"
- — When a Zombie Monkey steals a power-up.
- "Hey! That little shitball's running off with our power-up!"
- — When a Zombie Monkey steals a power-up.
- "Grab the little furry fuckbag!"
- — When a Zombie Monkey steals a power-up.
- "Skullcrusher. Good gun, good name, good times."
- — After receiving a Pack-a-Punched M16
- "Now it's party time, and I'm bringing the doughnuts."
- — After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.
- "Ancient temples, Russian cosmodromes, being stuck in a dark closet with Richtofen. (Sighs) What an adventure."
- — When waiting for Pack-a-Punch
- "Sure was nice to hear the sound of a woman. Too bad I couldn't see who it was. Heh. Could've been someone famous...nah."
- — When waiting for Pack-a-Punch (Reference to Sarah Michelle Gellar in Call of the Dead, a real celebrity).
- "I think Nikolai and Takeo are gonna get into it one of these days. I mean, how often can Takeo get away with calling him Nikki?"
- — When waiting for Pack-a-Punch
- "Richtofen is scheming something big, as usual. I bet it's no good for the rest of us. Better keep an eye on him."
- — When waiting for Pack-a-Punch, a reference to the easter egg "Richtofen's Grand Scheme" on moon.
- "Wonder why Richtofen's acting so stranger lately...wait, did I say that right?"
- — When waiting for Pack-a-Punch
- "All I want is some down time, a pot of gold, and a hula girl. Mmmmmm... hula girl."
- — Upon entering the waterfall area.
- "Hey, check it out. Looks like the cliff is pissing."
- — Upon entering the waterfall area.
- "Yahoo!"
- — When using the Geyser
- "I'm flyin'!"
- — When using the Geyser
- "Okay, that's slightly annoying."
- — When walking through the mud pit.
- "Aw, I bet poor Nikolai would get lost here."
- — When entering the mud pit.
- "I wish my monkey was here to enjoy this with me."
- — When going down the water slide.
- "I would have fucking paid for this!"
- — When going down the water slide.
- "Good shootin' Tak!"
- — When Takeo gets a headshot
- "Nice shootin' Tak!"
- — When Takeo gets a headshot
- "SQ-UISH goes the zombie!"
- — When Takeo gets a headshot
- "Skulled him, Tak! Nice!"
- — When Takeo gets a headshot
- "Confirmed kill. Oorah!"
- — When Takeo gets a headshot
- "You outta teach Dick-tofen how to shoot like that!"
- — When Takeo gets a headshot
- "Dont'cha just love that little guy, Tak?"
- — When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb
- "If anyone is doing anything a little...borderline with that monkey, it's Richtofen, man."
- — When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb
- "Tickle his chin, Tak. He likes that."
- — When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb
- "Alright! Hurry up and use it, Tak!"
- — When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb
- "Yo, Tak, sweet monkey brah!"
- — When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb
- "We're coming, Tak!"
- — When Takeo is swarmed
- "Help's on the way!"
- — When Takeo is swarmed
- "Gotta go help out Tak!"
- — When Takeo is swarmed
- "Tak, stop tryin' to have all the fun, man!"
- — When Takeo is swarmed
- "Hang in there, buddy! We're comin'!"
- — When Takeo is swarmed
- "Got a slug comin' in!"
- — When Takeo makes a crawler
- "Hey Tak, need a doggy bag for your leftovers?"
- — When Takeo makes a crawler
- "Got a knee biter comin'! Watch your legs!"
- — When Takeo makes a crawler
- "Got a little left there, Tak."
- — When Takeo makes a crawler
- "Look at that little thing crawl. Sick."
- — When Takeo makes a crawler
- "(Sarcastically) Oh yeah, that was great. He walked right in front of ya, man."
- — When Richtofen gets a headshot
- "Heh. Hey Richtofen, I think your weapon spontaneously fired."
- — When Richtofen gets a headshot
- "(Laughs) You couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with a shotgun at three feet."
- — When Richtofen gets a headshot
- "Throw enough shit at the wall, sometimes a little will stick."
- — When Richtofen gets a headshot (in the safe version, "shit" is replaced with "mud")
- "Hey! Richtofen finally hit something!"
- — When Richtofen gets a headshot
- "That wasn't you, Richtofen! I shot at him yesterday and it finally caught up to him!"
- — When Richtofen gets a headshot
- "Richtofen, don't get any ideas. I don't think it's legal!"
- — When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb
- "Oh no! That poor little monkey!"
- — When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb
- "Hey, Richtofen, quit playing with your monkey and help us out, man! "
- — When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb
- "Poor little monkey in the hands of a perverted psycho sadist."
- — When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb
- "Hey, monkey bones, punch him in the banana and run!"
- — When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb
- "Tear him apart, freakbags! Wait, I wanna do that MYSELF!"
- — When Richtofen is swarmed
- "Start runnin' or start shootin', Doc! Pick one!"
- — When Richtofen is swarmed
- "They can't get enough of ya, Doc!"
- — When Richtofen is swarmed
- "Alright, I'll bail you out AGAIN, Richtofen!"
- — When Richtofen is swarmed
- "That speed dating thing ain't workin' for you cause you're UGLY, Richtofen!"
- — When Richtofen is swarmed (A reference to a similar quote he said to Richtofen in Kino der Toten)
- "Richtofen, stop experimenting and start helping!"
- — When Richtofen makes a crawler
- "Keepin' that one for some down time lovin'?"
- — When Richtofen makes a crawler
- "You take torture to new heights, you know that?"
- — When Richtofen makes a crawler
- "You just can't help yourself from making your little creations, can you?"
- — When Richtofen makes a crawler
- "One of these days, I'm gonna make YOU crawl!"
- — When Richtofen makes a crawler
- "Hey Richtofen, how 'bout some knee time? You like that anyway!"
- — When Richtofen makes a crawler
- "I've got your ticket off planet Earth, maggots! Congratulations!"
- — When swarmed
- "I'm gonna die someday, but your day is today!"
- — When swarmed
- "Cover your ears, shriek-bag!"
- — After a Shrieker Zombie spawns
- "Nikolai! Is that screaming one of your wives?!"
- — After a Shrieker Zombie spawns. Reference to Nikolai's many wives.
- "You hear that? We got a Flamer on the way!"
- — After a Napalm Zombie spawns.
- "Got a flamer for ya, Richtofen!"
- — After a Napalm Zombie spawns (a flamer is a term for a homosexual.)
- "Well that friggin' sucks!"
- — When not having enough points to open a door/clear debris
- "Oh screw you! I've killed so many zombies, this crap oughta be free by now!"
- — When not having enough points for a weapon.
- "I got the meteor! Check it out, I'm all perked up!"
- — When picking up the Focusing Stone (Referencing to the 7 perks that the player gets from getting the Stone)
- "You lucky bastard."
- — When someone else gets the Focusing Stone
- "Uh, that looks a little like Richtofen, doesn't it? Odd."
- — After noticing the statue that looks like Richtofen
- "Nice sig, Richtofen. When the hell did you have time to do that?"
- — After noticing Richtofen's signature on the Focusing Stone altar
- "Hey Treyarch, I solved your STUPID OBJECTIVE!"
- — After turning on the power.
- "Aw, that smells like the potty corner of the closet we were stuck in."
- — During the Eclipse Easter Egg. Reference to the Original Characters Trapped
- "I think the crystal is...resonating or something."
- — During the Easter Egg
- "Ah! My ass!"
- — When getting hit by the Punji Stakes.
- "They hid yet another song. Where do they get these original ideas from? (Mumbles) Whatever..."
- — After activating the song.
Nikolai Belinski[]
- "Let me guess, power? A few more shots of vodka, then I'll go looking!"
- — After starting a match
- "What would we do if the power was already on? Yeah. I know, I know. Never going to happen."
- — After starting a match
- "Eh, but it was nice break, no?"
- — After starting a match, responding to Dempsey's quote about the "closet".
- "Who needs power when you have vodka?! Don't answer that."
- — After starting a match
- "I have been wearing same pair of underwear for two years now! Oh, and power's out."
- — After starting a match
- "(sarcastically) There's no power?!"
- — After starting a match
- "Enjoy Hell!"
- — Upon killing a zombie.
- "Stay away from my (burps)!"
- — After killing a zombie
- "Get some love juice sweetheart!"
- — Upon killing a female zombie.
- "This party's really dead!"
- — Upon getting multiple kills.
- "Pieces be with you!"
- — Upon getting an explosive kill (Pun of the phrase "Peace be with you")
- "Ba-boom! (Laughing which turns to choking) Ugh, I just inhaled some zombie."
- — After getting an explosive kill
- "It's snowing hell spawn!"
- — After getting explosive kill
- "It's like firework show, only with blood and zombies."
- — After getting explosive kill
- "How dare you touch Nikolai! I just bathed for first time!"
- — Upon killing a zombie that recently hit him.
- "Never touch drunk Russian, hellpig!"
- — Upon killing a zombie that recently hit him.
- "Is my vodka okay? Phew! That would have been bad!"
- — Upon killing a zombie that recently hit him.
- "Ohhh, I think it scratched me!"
- — After killing a zombie that recently hit him
- "My sister is more dangerous than you!"
- — Upon killing a female zombie that recently hit him.
- "Good! That sound was driving me nuts!"
- — After killing a Shrieker Zombie. A reference to the Der Riese trailer.
- "That arm comes right off, doesn't it?"
- — Upon gibbing a zombie's arm
- "I really disarmed him! Ha! I have heard that before."
- — Upon gibbing a zombie's arm (Reference to Richtofen's quote)
- "Take that, arm! I'll get the rest of you later."
- — Upon gibbing a zombie's arm.
- "Oh, good, it's small now!"
- — When shrinking a zombie with the 31-79 JGb215.
- "I can use you for my train set."
- — When shrinking zombies with the 31-79 JGb215
- "Good, it's small now! Little zombette..."
- — When shrinking zombies with the 31-79 JGb215
- "Tiny Zombies... in my vodka..."
- — When shrinking zombies with the 31-79 JGb215
- "Ow, my shins!"
- — When getting hit by a crawler.
- "Ow! My shin really hurts now!"
- — When getting hit by a crawler.
- "(screams) It almost made me woman!"
- — When getting hit by a crawler.
- "Ow! I hate crawlers!"
- — After being scratched by a crawler
- "Get out of here, crawling hellpig!"
- — After getting hit by crawler
- "(Awkwardly) I am thanking you, for all this, good help, you are giving to me."
- — After being revived
- "Vodka? Check. Balls? Check. Russian? Check. Ok, I'm good to go."
- — After being revived. (Reference to the Der Reise trailer.
- "Oh. You needed help? I was just taking nap after killing billions of zombies and...you're walking away. Okay. That's fine."
- — After being revived
- "What? Oh, I was just looking for vodka bottle, it, it dropped on ground, see?"
- — After being revived
- "Okay, no ammo. But I do have plenty of vodka. Things are looking up for Nikolai!"
- — Upon running out of ammo.
- "Hey, zombies! Can you please go attack someone else for a while?"
- — Upon running out of ammo.
- "I need one of those floating, green, ammo container thingys!"
- — Upon running out of ammo(Referring to a Max Ammo drop).
- "Okay, Nikolai, find some ammo. Easy!"
- — Upon running out of ammo.
- "Vodka for ammo? Anyone? No? Good."
- — Upon running out of ammo.
- "Hey, look a new toy."
- — Upon purchasing the Spikemore
- "This gun is heavy. Anyone wanna trade?!"
- — Upon purchasing the M14.
- "Good! I can be a lazy sniper for a while!"
- — Upon purchasing an M14 off the wall or receiving a sniper rifle out of the Mystery Box
- "This gun needs cup holder."
- — Upon purchasing the M14 off the wall or receiving a sniper rifle out of the box.
- "Great, Nikolai can kill 50 zombies now!"
- — Upon purchasing the Stakeout
- "Because of fourth wife I like pump-action best."
- — Upon purchasing the Stakeout.
- "With this, I will paint the Square red. Get it? Because I'm Communist and we have a red- Oh fuck you."
- — Upon purchasing the Stakeout.
- "Aha! Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta... hehe"
- — Upon receiving a SMG from the box
- "Good! I can be a lazy sniper for a while!"
- — Upon purchasing an M14 off the wall or receiving a sniper rifle out of the Mystery Box
- "This gun needs cup holder."
- — Upon purchasing the M14 off the wall or receiving a sniper rifle out of the box.
- "Anyone mind if I stroke this gun for a while?"
- — Upon receiving the FN FAL
- "Effin Fallafel, I think I love you."
- — Upon receiving the FN FAL
- "This is why I drink so much."
- — Upon receiving a "bad" gun from the Mystery Box
- "You could say this day is going to be explosive because... aw, screw it, I quit."
- — Upon receiving the Crossbow from the Mystery Box
- "Hello, baby Takeo! I cannot wait to get rid of you!"
- — Upon receiving the Monkey Bomb
- "Why would I want to make it smaller?"
- — Upon receiving the 31-79 JGb215 from the Mystery Box
- "Does this come in red?"
- — Upon receiving the Ray Gun from the Mystery Box
- "Ah my old friend, shall we go kill some zombies? *muffles voice* Yes Nikolai, yes we shall!"
- — Upon receiving the Ray Gun from the Mystery Box
- "Oh great, a gun-shaped paperweight."
- — Upon receiving a "bad" gun from the Mystery Box
- "That is one fucking creepy Teddy bear, (said quietly) like 2nd wife."
- — When getting Teddy bear from mystery box
- "Ugh, vodka and fish do not mix."
- — After drinking Quick Revive
- "Guh, I feel muscle-ly all over. Almost as good as vodka!"
- — After drinking Jugger-Nog
- "Am I supposed to drink this or eat it?"
- — After drinking PhD Flopper
- "Wooo! That is a spicy drink! Let's hope it doesn't come out that way!"
- — After drinking Speed Cola
- "My body feels drunk...but my eyes feel sober. I don't like."
- — After drinking Deadshot Daiquiri
- "The taste is complex, with hints of anise and---(belch)---mmh, 'scuse me."
- — After drinking Stamin-Up
- "Twice the shots!...Would've helped me with 2nd wife"
- — After drinking Double Tap Root Beer
- "Good, I needed a break. Anyone else want a shot?!"
- — After getting a Nuke
- "BOOM zombies!"
- — After getting a Nuke
- "YES! And it refilled my vodka, too! Woohoo!"
- — After getting Max Ammo
- "This just got more fun!"
- — After getting Insta-Kill
- "We got a raise, no?"
- — After getting Double Points
- "OK, no one else kills zombies for a while but me!"
- — After getting Double Points
- "Occilating goodness!"
- — After taking the Pack-A-Punched HK21 (Referencing the Pack-A-Punched HK21 name, H115 Oscillator)
- "One of these days, we'll teleport to vodka factory. (Sighs) Soon, Nikolai. Soon."
- — While waiting for Pack-a-Punch
- "I am drunk. Very, very drunk. And a drunk Russian DOES NOT LIKE TO WAIT!"
- — While waiting for Pack-a-Punch
- "Ding!"
- — Upon taking his gun back from the Pack-a-Punch
- "What the hell is that Golden Rod Richtofen keeps stroking? I don't trust that man! I think he has issue."
- — While waiting for Pack-a-Punch.
- "I cannot wait to hear the 'ding'! (After gun is ready and makes 'ding') Such a sweet sound."
- — While waiting for Pack-a-Punch.
- "Put me down! PUT ME DOWN!!!!!!"
- — While using the geyser.
- "Russians don't like flying!"
- — While using the geyser.
- "I think it was left. No, no, right! Oh, God, I have trouble walking in straight line!"
- — After walking through mud maze.
- "Wh-What? Did I just pass out?"
- — After moving through the mud maze.
- "This... is... HELL!"
- — After moving through the mud maze.
- "(Feminine scream) That was too close to my hammer and sickles!"
- — After going through Punji Spikes (Reference to the Soviet Union symbol in his belt)
- "Phew! Russians do not like being impaled!"
- — After going past the Punji Spikes (reference to Ivan, a Russian Czar who loved impaling his enemies)
- "Ow, my balls!"
- — Upon getting hit with the Punji Stakes
- "Oh shit, that nearly took off my ass!"
- — Upon getting hit with the Punji Stakes
- "My ass! My beautiful ass!"
- — Upon getting hit with the Punji Stakes
- "Oh! I won't be able to sit for weeks!"
- — Upon getting hit with the punji spikes
- "Well, that certainly looks safe. Takeo, go test it out."
- — After noticing the Mine Cart
- "A minecart! I've always wanted to be an explorer, ever since I was a mini Cossack."
- — After noticing the Mine Cart
- "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!"
- — When using the minecart
- "I am not opening my eyes until this thing stops moving!"
- — When using the minecart
- "Stay down, vodka, for love of motherland stay down!"
- — When using the minecart
- "Wheeee! (Russian singing)"
- — When taking the Water Slide
- "Wheeee! I feel like little boy again!... Except for vodka."
- — When taking the Water Slide
- "A toast to the capitalist pig dog!"
- — When Dempsey gets a headshot
- "Hey, look! I think you got four of them at once, Dempsey!"
- — When Dempsey gets a headshot
- "Take notes from Dempsey, Takeo! That's how you shoot!"
- — When Dempsey gets a headshot
- "You are the second best shooter I know, Dempsey!"
- — When Dempsey gets a headshot
- "Not bad for American pig dog!"
- — When Dempsey gets a headshot
- "Dempsey, I do not trust that monkey."
- — When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb
- "Bleh! Please Dempsey, don't make it play that stupid song!"
- — When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb
- "It may look cute, Tank, but it is killer!"
- — When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb
- "When you are done with monkey, can I kill it?"
- — When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb
- "I am glad the box didn't give me that stupid monkey!"
- — When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb
- "Hold on, Dempsey! The Russian will save you!"
- — When Dempsey is swarmed
- "I will be right there, comrade!"
- — When Dempsey is swarmed
- "Look at Dempsey, taking on the zombie hoard single handedly!"
- — When Dempsey is swarmed
- "Hellpigs, stay away from Tank!"
- — When Dempsey is swarmed
- "Okay, okay, I will come help you, Dempsey!"
- — When Dempsey is swarmed
- "Dempsey, watch your feet!"
- — When Dempsey makes a crawler
- "Look at it, groveling at your feet, Dempsey!"
- — When Dempsey makes a crawler
- "No legs and still it comes? This is ridiculous!"
- — When Dempsey makes a crawler
- "Next time, Dempsey, aim higher!"
- — When Dempsey makes a crawler
- "Dempsey, you made a crawler!"
- — When Dempsey makes a crawler
- "Oh look, big boy got a headshot!"
- — When Takeo gets a headshot
- "Your first headshot, Tak! Let me get a photo of this! Click! He he...you don't know when it's gonna happen again, yeah?"
- — When Takeo gets a headshot
- "50 more like that, and you'll still be 200 behind me!"
- — When Takeo gets a headshot
- "You're better at aiming puke then that gun, Takeo!"
- — When Takeo gets a headshot (A reference to the Original Characters Trapped easter egg, in which Takeo threw up and didn't talk)
- "You could not hit my fourth wife's ass with that aim!"
- — When Takeo gets a headshot
- "You two have much in common."
- — When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb
- "Two of the things I hate most!"
- — When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb
- "Fuck you and your monkey, Takeo!"
- — When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb
- "Do you want some alone time with your little friend, Takeo?"
- — When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb
- "May be your first wife, Takeo. (Laughs)"
- — When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb
- "Fight with your eyes open next time, Takeo! Hehe, stupid."
- — When Takeo is swarmed
- "Should I help Takeo or not? Vodka, what do you think? (Talking as vodka) I say, forget him and have another drink!"
- — When Takeo is swarmed
- "Look, Takeo needs our help, AGAIN!"
- — When Takeo is swarmed
- "Okay, okay, Bushido warrior! The big boys will help you out!"
- — When Takeo is swarmed
- "Takeo, you look like you've got handle on things."
- — When Takeo is swarmed
- "Takeo, you're a horrible dancer. My second wife dance better than you, and she's dead! Why is he running away?"
- — When Takeo is swarmed. A reference to the Original Characters Trapped easter egg
- "Maybe next time you should kill the zombie, Takeo!"
- — When Takeo makes a crawler
- "Step aside "warrior" and let real man take care of it!"
- — When Takeo makes a crawler
- "What were you aiming at, Takeo?"
- — When Takeo makes a crawler
- "Oh great, now I've got to watch my feet, too? You suck, Takeo!"
- — When Takeo makes a crawler
- "Hey, Takeo, FUCK YOU!"
- — When Takeo makes a crawler
- "Don't let it crawl in your underpants, ninja!"
- — When Takeo makes a crawler
- "He looks like my brother-in-law! I should probably kill him, too."
- — After a Shrieker zombie spawns
- "He-he, smells like victory. Oh no! Fire Pig!"
- — After a Napalm zombie spawns
- "Watch out, fire zombie!"
- — After a Napalm zombie spawns
- "Hellspawn for real!"
- — After a Napalm zombie spawns
- "Hey, what does this rock do? Oh, I feel very powerful!"
- — After getting the Focusing Stone
- "I did not want the rock anyway..."
- — After witnessing some one else take the Focusing Stone
- "That statue looks a little familiar, no?"
- — After noticing the statue that looks like Richtofen
- "How did Richtofen's signature get there?"
- — After noticing Richtofen's name on the Focusing Stone altar
- "Where does all my money go? Vodka, she is cruel mistress."
- — When trying to buy something without enough points (a reference to the quotes in Kino der Toten and Ascension when he tries to buy something without enough points)
- "Sweet music! Dempsey, let's dance!"
- — After activating the hidden song
Takeo Masaki[]
- "We have arrived at the Ancient Temple that needs power turned on...highly suspect."
- — After starting a match
- "They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. So, we must get the power on...again."
- — After starting a match
- "You do not need psychic powers to know what we must start with: the power switch!"
- — After starting a match
- "Let me guess, we have to turn on the power...again!"
- — After starting a match
- "Not for me. It was a horrible experience."
- — A reference to him throwing up in the Original Characters Trapped Easter Egg and a reference to Nikolai's comment.
- "Oh, I have nothing left to throw up (painfully)"
- — After starting a match and a reference to the Original Characters Trapped easter egg
- "Begone foul creature!"
- — Upon killing a zombie
- "I am not one to brag, but damn!"
- — Upon getting a headshot.
- "Fear the laugh of the honorable!"
- — Upon killing a Shrieker.
- "Your flame is no-more!"
- — Upon killing a Napalm Zombie
- "I am just getting warmed up!"
- — Upon killing multiple zombies.
- "The line will be drawn HERE!"
- — Upon killing multiple zombies.
- "Gahhhh!"
- — Upon killing a zombie with a melee.
- "Hands off, you rotten sack of bones!"
- — Upon killing a zombie that recently hit him
- "Never touch Takeo!"
- — Upon killing a zombie that recently hit him
- "Ha ha ha."
- — After a Monkey Bomb kill
- "Cymbals of death! (Laughs)"
- — After a Monkey Bomb kill
- "Your sacrifice was not in vain."
- — After a Monkey Bomb kill
- "That's my monkey!"
- — After a Monkey Bomb kill
- "No more playtime!"
- — After a Monkey Bomb kill
- "Stealing, always leads to bad end."
- — Killing a Zombie Monkey.
- "Your help is appreciated, but unnecessary if you do your job!"
- — Upon being revived
- "You want my thanks, but you shall not have it!"
- — Upon being revived
- "Smartest move you ever made, reviving me!"
- — Upon being revived
- "The Seven Kingdoms of Heaven were not ready for a warrior such as I!"
- — Upon being revived
- "You have gained honor!"
- — Upon being revived
- "Never enough bullets, are there?"
- — Upon running out of ammo.
- "Need ammo, need it now!"
- — Upon running out of ammo.
- "Somebody wanna get Takeo a new mag?"
- — Upon running out of ammo.
- "I need bullets!"
- — Upon running out of ammo.
- "The amount of ammo I have is insulting!"
- — Upon running out of ammo.
- "How can I be expected to conduct a massacre without ammo?!"
- — Upon running out of ammo.
- "No ammo, down to knuckles and knives!"
- — Upon running out of ammo.
- "Out of everything? How could this happen?!"
- — Upon running out of ammo.
- "No bullets? No matter. Takeo will persist!"
- — Upon running out of ammo.
- "Need to find more bullets like yesterday!"
- — Upon running out of ammo.
- "Let's get dirty!"
- — Buying the Bowie Knife.
- "Hmmn...buying a knife instead of a Katana!?"
- — Upon purchasing the Bowie Knife.
- "Patience rewarded."
- — Upon purchasing the AK-74u
- "Ah, I have been blessed with the AK-74u."
- — Upon purchasing AK-74u
- "The AK-74u. A great weapon!"
- — Upon purchasing the AK-74u.
- "Buckshot of honor!"
- — Upon purchasing the Stakeout.
- "Ah, I return to basics."
- — Upon receiving a Sniper Rifle
- "Better then a pistol, at least."
- — Upon receiving a SMG.
- "Fast rate of fire, great damage, highly accurate."
- — Upon receiving a SMG.
- "HEAVY!"
- — Upon receiving a LMG.
- "Time to SPREAD the love!"
- — Upon receiving a shotgun.
- "The quality of the gun, is not as important as the bad motherfucker holding it! (Laughs)"
- — Upon receiving the Python or CZ-75 from the box.
- "This will do. For now."
- — Upon receiving the Python or CZ-75 from the box
- "I am bringin' the boom!"
- — Upon receiving a launcher.
- "I will destroy their souls!"
- — Upon receiving the Raygun.
- "This can shrink the body, but not the dishonor!"
- — After getting the 31-79 JGb215
- "Ah, my old, furry friend! We will make great music together!"
- — Upon receiving the Monkey Bomb
- "I would take you home to my family, if I had not slaughtered them for their insolence!"
- — Upon receiving the Monkey Bomb
- "I do not care about money. Just give me cola."
- — After trying to buy a Perk-A-Cola without enough money
- "Mmm, my favorite."
- — After drinking Quick Revive
- "I feel so strong, and fierce!"
- — After drinking Juggernog
- "I could go all-night with this"
- — After drinking Stamin Up
- "Cowboy up, partner!"
- — After drinking Double Tap Root Beer
- "Speed Cola, it's a happy day."
- — After drinking Speed Cola
- "Prunes...chewy! I might need to wash this down with Nikolai's vodka!"
- — After drinking PhD Flopper
- "I like daiquiris, but this one taste like yogurt!"
- — After drinking Deadshot Daiquiri
- "Double points or double time."
- — Upon receiving Double Points
- "Let's do this!"
- — Upon receiving Double Points
- "Good timing, I was getting dry."
- — Upon receiving a Max Ammo
- "DEVASTATION!"
- — Upon receiving a Nuke
- "Time to buy while it's cheap!"
- — Upon receiving a Fire Sale.
- "Get it while it's hot, people!"
- — Upon receiving a Fire Sale
- "Box, box, find the box!"
- — Upon receiving a Fire Sale
- "Ah, the Mnesia. Very nice!"
- — When receiving a Pack-a-Punched M14 from the machine
- "One day, I will make Richtofen wish he had amnesia!"
- — When receiving a Pack-a-Punched M14 (Reference to the Pack-a-Punch name of the M14
- "Let the games begin!"
- — Upon taking his upgraded weapon.
- "I'll take it!"
- — Getting his upgraded gun.
- "Richtofen is scheming something. I think he's collecting tools for some purpose."
- — While waiting for Pack-a-Punch
- "Dempsey is waking up. Slowly but surely. Maybe he will remember someday."
- — While waiting for Pack-a-Punch (A reference to how Takeo was the first one to recover from 115)
- "Nikki, oh poor, drunk Nikki. Her honor has been washed away."
- — While waiting for Pack-a-Punch
- "I could have caught, skinned, and cut my own sushi by now!"
- — While waiting for Pack-a-Punch
- "How dare you make Takeo wait like this!?"
- — While waiting for Pack-a-Punch
- "You have the guts to let Takeo wait!?"
- — While waiting Pack-a-Punch
- "My palms sweat with anticipation."
- — While waiting for Pack-a-Punch
- "I have water in my dark place!"
- — While using the Geyser
- "LOOK OUT BELOWWWWW!"
- — While using the Geyser
- "I fly in air! Like a bird! A warrior bird!"
- — While using the Geyser
- "I once killed man on the waterfall, was a good day."
- — Upon reaching the Water Fall
- "It reminds me of the Shiraito Falls at Mount Fuji."
- — Upon reaching the Water Fall
- "Rock falls from Heaven, scattering all before me. Hope my house not hit!"
- — Upon noticing the giant meteor on top of the temple
- "Hmm it's no Lunar Lander, but it will suffice."
- — Upon discovering the Mine Cart. (Refers to the Lunar Lander in Ascension.)
- "When was the last time this was used?"
- — Upon discovering the Mine Cart
- "FOR HONOOOOUR!"
- — Upon using the Water Slide
- "AHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHH!"
- — Upon using the Water Slide
- "Worst. Ride. Ever."
- — Upon riding the Mine Cart (reference to Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons)
- "Whats that singing? Nikki that you?"
- — Upon using the Minecart.
- "The riddle of the power has been broken!"
- — Upon turning on the power
- "Hmph, an easter egg not so hard this time...oh it's just the Power Switch."
- — Upon turning on the power
- "I have solved the power problem!"
- — Upon turning on the power.
- "Aww that hurts!"
- — Getting hit by the Punji Spikes
- "That pains me in my dark place!"
- — Getting hit by the Punji Stakes
- "Ah! These better not be covered in shit! Might be now."
- — Getting hit by the Punji Stakes
- "If money is required, then money I shall find."
- — Upon trying to buy a door without enough money
- "You have the eyes of a hawk, my friend!"
- — When Richtofen gets a headshot
- "A quicker death than I would have expected from you, doctor."
- — When Richtofen gets a headshot
- "That's it, Edward! Cut them all down to size!"
- — When Richtofen gets a headshot
- "Such precision! You should be brain surgeon, dear doctor!"
- — When Richtofen gets a headshot
- "I envy your skills, Richtofen!"
- — When Richtofen gets a headshot
- "Congratulations, Edward!"
- — When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb
- "You have been blessed, doctor."
- — When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb
- "The monkey honors you with his explosive presence!"
- — When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb
- "Ah, the monkey. Use it wisely, good doctor."
- — When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb
- "I think the monkey took a shine to you, Richtofen!"
- — When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb
- "We must help the doctor!"
- — When Richtofen is swarmed
- "Hold them! We are coming!"
- — When Richtofen is swarmed
- "Stand fast, Edward! I'm coming!"
- — When Richtofen is swarmed
- "Survive Richtofen, you must survive!"
- — When Richtofen is swarmed
- "Hold them off until I can get to you!"
- — When Richtofen is swarmed
- "Oh, I see you're enjoying yourself yet again, good doctor!"
- — When Richtofen makes a crawler
- "I envy your work, Richtofen!"
- — When Richtofen makes a crawler
- "You take pride in your work, Edward!"
- — When Richtofen makes a crawler
- "Doctor! You have made something new!"
- — When Richtofen makes a crawler
- "Yes! Make them work for their meals, Richtofen!"
- — When Richtofen makes a crawler
- "A Nikolai headshot? Hell must have snow too!"
- — When Nikolai gets a headshot
- "Your targets must be drunk too, Nikki!"
- — When Nikolai gets a headshot
- "Ha! I've seen better!"
- — When Nikolai gets a headshot
- "Dah! Anything Nikki can do, I can do better!"
- — When Nikolai gets a headshot (reference to the song "Anything You Can Do" by the Broadway musical "Annie Get Your Gun")
- "That was only two feet away, Nikki!"
- — When Nikolai gets a headshot
- "You do not deserve such furry blessings!"
- — When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb
- "I burn with resentment at the gift you have been given, Nikki!"
- — When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb
- "Monkey Bomb? Seven Hells Nikolai, I hate you!"
- — When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb
- "Give me that monkey, Nikolai!"
- — When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb
- "Nikki, you should be very afraid of monkey. It hates you!"
- — When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb
- "They must smell the rotting of Nikki's liver!"
- — When Nikolai is swarmed
- "Nikolai will die with dishonor...but not yet!"
- — When Nikolai is swarmed
- "You're not holding up your considerable weight, Nikolai!"
- — When Nikolai is swarmed
- "What, are you drunk? Huh! Of course you are!"
- — When Nikolai is swarmed
- "I see you're quite popular in undead circles!"
- — When Nikolai is swarmed
- "Ugh, your aim is as poor as your breath!"
- — When Nikolai makes a crawler
- "Nikolai, you shame yourself!"
- — When Nikolai makes a crawler
- "Efficiency is good business, Nikolai. And you show none of it!"
- — When Nikolai makes a crawler
- "Kill them! Do not play with them!"
- — When Nikolai makes a crawler
- "Are you trying to get us killed? Finish him!"
- — When Nikolai makes a crawler
- "Spawn Flame is near, be wary."
- — Seeing a Napalm Zombie spawn.
- "That sound.. be wary"
- — Seeing a Shrieker spawn.
- "I need no accolades for my work here."
- — After getting an achievement.
- "I have been blessed by my honor!"
- — After getting the Focusing Stone
- "You have been blessed by the Emperor!"
- — When someone else gets the Focusing Stone
- "Why does that statue resemble Richtofen?"
- — After noticing the statue that looks like Richtofen
- "Nice signature, doctor."
- — After noticing Richtofen's signature on the Focusing Stone altar
- "That's my stuff... what the fuck!?"
- — Seeing a Zombie Monkey stealing a Power-Up.
- "That thieving monkey has our goods, after him!"
- — Seeing a Zombie Monkey stealing a Power-Up.
Edward Richtofen[]
Start[]
- "This place has power? Neat-o!"
- — After beginning a match
- "We have arrived in an ancient temple, that has a power switch. That's a weird combo."
- — After beginning a match
- "Power power power, where is the power?"
- — Upon beginning a match
- "Hello? We're here! Now to make it to the switch to start the fun!"
- — Upon beginning a match
- "The power is out. Well, if there's power, it's out."
- — When starting a match
Zombie[]
- "Ack! Bad demon! Bad!"
- — After killing a zombie that recently hit him
- "I took your legs. Now I take your life!"
- — After killing a crawler zombie.
- "NO TOUCHY!"
- — After killing a zombie that recently hit him
- "Gahaha! Glorious!"
- — After getting an explosive kill
- "Itty bitty bits are everywhere! (Demented laughing)"
- — After getting an explosive kill
- "I made you small, like Dempsey's brain!"
- — After shrinking a zombie with the 31-79 JGb215
- "Shrink! No, I'm a real doctor. (Laughs) You see what I did there, with the joking?"
- — After shrinking a zombie with the 31-79 JGb215
- "The doctor kicks you in the nuts!"
- — After running into a shrunken zombie
- "What mutation causes a fire zombie?"
- — Upon seeing a Napalm Zombie
- "(Laughs) No arms!(Laughs) Like Switzerland."
- — After blowing a zombie's arm off (a referance to the fact that Switzerland was neutral in WWII)
- "Mother? Is that you? I didn't do it!"
- — Upon seeing a Shrieker Zombie
- "NEIN MONKEY! MINE!"
- — Upon killing a monkey zombie that took a power up
- "I need a mop for the sad ones!"
- — After getting an explosive kill
- "I'll swallow your spleen raw!"
- — After killing a monkey
- "(Singing) One little, two little, three little zombie heads!"
- — After getting a headshot
- "Either their heads are getting bigger or I'm getting better!"
- — After getting a headshot
Power-Ups[]
- "Time to buy!"
- — After getting Fire Sale
Weapon[]
- "This is a rifle, not just a gun. I use it to kill, and it's so much fun!"
- — When getting a sniper rifle (A reference to the film "Full Metal Jacket")
- "Sniping is an art of which I am a master"
- — After getting a Sniper Rifle
- "*Gasps* The Spectre! It sounds almost like doctor!"
- — After getting the Spectre
- "It's a little gun, but it has a long barrel, like my college roommate."
- — After getting the Spectre
- "If you listen carefully, this gun is saying - DIE!"
- — After getting the Spectre
- "Hmmm. A shotgun."
- — After getting a shotgun
- "I knew Maxis was working on such a device, but I had no idea he was successful."
- — When getting the 31-79 JGb215
- "Mother said I shouldn't play with dolls...or myself, but I don't always do what mother likes. "
- — When getting the 31-79 JGb215
- "OH IT'S SO shitty"
- — Said when getting a "bad weapon" from the Mystery Box
- "Dempsey, you need a shave? (Laughs) I'll cut your head off."
- — When buying the Bowie Knife off the wall
- "Danger monkey!"
- — After getting the Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box
No Ammo[]
- "There can be no fun with no ammo for my gun! (Quietly) oh I'm a poet and I didn't know it."
- — When out of ammo
- "I AM OUT OF AMMO!"
- — When out of ammo
- "The more I kill the more ammo I need...This is obvious"
- — When out of ammo
- "I NEED MORE AMMO!"
- — When out of ammo
- "Can anyone spare some ammo for the doctor."
- — When out of ammo
- "Where did I leave that box of ammo? "
- — When out of ammo
- "NEIN! NEIN! I cannot be out of ammo?"
- — When out of ammo
- "This lack of ammunition is an unfortunate turn of events."
- — When out of ammo
- "Again with the spinny box thing."
- — When out of ammo (A reference to the Mystery box)
Utilities/Landmarks[]
- "Oh, that looks like fun."
- — After noticing the mine cart
- "(in a happy tone) Reminds me of my childhood. (in an angry tone) Stop talking to me!"
- — After noticing the mine cart
- "(quietly) The voices.. (slight scream) Ahh the voices!"
- — When using the Minecart
- "Look, Nikolai! How romantic!"
- — After noticing the water fall.
- "So very confusing."
- — Upon entering the Mudpit
- "Where is the exit?"
- — Upon entering the Mudpit
- "Ah-ha-ha-ha-haa wooo!"
- — When using the Water Slide
- "Weee! I feel so high!"
- — When using the Geyser
- "Oh spikey love!"
- — After using the Punji Stakes
- "Look out! That was close."
- — After going through Punji Stakes
- "It's so slippery, and wet, and fun! Just like you, Nikolai!"
- — When using the Water Slide
- "I was conceived in a Mine Cart. Or was it a lab?"
- — Upon finding the Mine Cart (Also a reference to the real life location of Der Riese)
- "I HATE TRAINS!!"
- — Said when riding the minecart (A likely reference to ASDF movie's "I Like Trains" gag)
- "Nein..."
- — When seeing the Punji Stakes.
- "Everyone, the power is now on!"
- — After turning on the power.
- "Like wind in the lederhosen!...(quietly) I'm not wearing any though."
- — After taking the geyser
- "OW! MY BACKSIDE!"
- — After being hit by punji stakes
- "(screams in pain) Oh, that's good, that's okay, buy me dinner next time."
- — After being hit by punji stakes
- "A-AH! That's usually an extra fifty."
- — After taking the geyser
Downed/Hurt/Revived[]
- "I saw a light this time, like the Führer's flashlight."
- — After being revived (A reference to Adolf Hitler, also known by his title "Der Führer")
- "Thank you, but it was all part of my plan."
- — After being revived
- "THE VOICES are so loud!"
- — After being revived
- "They can't kill the doctor!"
- — After being revived
- "Help me Nikolai!"
- — After being swarmed by zombies
- "Assistance! I need assistance!"
- — After being downed
- "Help me!"
- — After being downed
- "The doctor can not die!"
- — After being downed
- "(Furious) I'M COMING FOR YOU MAXIS!"
- — After being downed (Reference to Doctor Maxis)
Perk-a-Cola[]
- "WHY! Why do you taste so BAD!?"
- — After buying Quick Revive
- "Ahh now their heads will be mine!"
- — After drinking Deadshot Daiquiri
- "Off in a flash!"
- — After drinking Speed Cola
- "Juggernog! My favorite!"
- — After buying Juggernog
- "Glorious! I was feeling a little down."
- — After drinking Stamin-Up
- "This drink gives me gas."
- — After drinking PhD Flopper
- "Ah, the beer of the root! (laughs) I said root."
- — After drinking Double Tap Root Beer
Pack-a-Punch[]
- "This acursed machine takes an eternity!"
- — When waiting for Pack-a-Punch
- "The G115 Generator...JOY!"
- — When recieving a Pack-a-Punched G11 from the machine
- "Zombies, come out and play! (Laughs) I love that film!"
- — Reference to The Warriors film.
Interactive[]
- "Ah, nice shot Nikolai. Wunderbar."
- — When Nikolai gets a headshot (Wunderbar is German for "wonderful")
- "Nikolai made brain paste!"
- — When Nikolai gets a headshot
- "I've told you Nikolai, I'm your biggest fan!"
- — When Nikolai gets a headshot
- "You got it in the head, Nikolai!"
- — When Nikolai gets a headshot
- "Ah, ja, very good Nikolai!"
- — When Nikolai gets a headshot
- "Don't be afraid, Nikolai. He likes you!"
- — When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb
- "Why does everyone ELSE get the fun toys?"
- — When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb
- "Keep it away from Sam, Nikolai!"
- — When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb
- "It's so soft und fuzzy, just like you Nikolai."
- — When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb
- "Oh that little bundle of fury, is SO MUCH FUN!"
- — When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb
- "Nikolai, I will probably not let them hurt you...if time allows!"
- — When Nikolai is swarmed
- "Back, minions! Stay away from his vodka!"
- — When Nikolai is swarmed
- "I WILL HELP YOU, NIKOLAI!"
- — When Nikolai is swarmed
- "The Doctor's coming!"
- — When Nikolai is swarmed
- "Nikolai needs our help! Get moving!"
- — When Nikolai is swarmed
- "Nikolai, you've mastered the art of creation!"
- — When Nikolai makes a crawler
- "You missed a little bit. It's still alive."
- — When Nikolai makes a crawler
- "Ah, you've made a crawler!"
- — When Nikolai makes a crawler
- "A crawler has been born! Wunderbar!"
- — When Nikolai makes a crawler
- "There goes a crawler! Squish squish squish!"
- — When Nikolai makes a crawler
- "You got lucky Dempsey!"
- — When Dempsey gets a headshot
- "That one doesn't count! He was barely moving!"
- — When Dempsey gets a headshot
- "Oh, everyone look, Dempsey got a headshot. So what?"
- — When Dempsey gets a headshot
- "Dempsey, someday your luck will run out, und I'll be there."
- — When Dempsey gets a headshot
- "Dempsey, maybe let him get closer next time?"
- — When Dempsey gets a headshot
- "I hope you die, Dempsey."
- — When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb
- "Look at it, Dempsey. It's BEGGING for you to play with it."
- — When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb
- "That monkey has more brains than you, American."
- — When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb
- "Tread lightly, Dempsey. He will stab you in your kidney if you don't."
- — When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb
- "Quick monkey, steal his ammo!"
- — When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb
- "You deserve that, Dempsey!"
- — When Dempsey is swarmed
- "I will help you, but only because I want to be the one to eat your heart!"
- — When Dempsey is swarmed
- "Dempsey is surrounded. JOY!"
- — When Dempsey is swarmed
- "(Tauntingly) Oh, look at our brave American soldier, needing help from the doctor!"
- — When Dempsey is swarmed
- "Dempsey is being tortured by my little children! (Sighs) A daddy could not be prouder!"
- — When Dempsey is swarmed
- "Feast, little ones, FEAST! Oh, I mean, I'm on my way Dempsey!"
- — When Dempsey is swarmed
- "Oh, Dempsey, when will you learn to finish?"
- — When Dempsey makes a crawler
- "Crawler, courtesy of our brave American tool."
- — When Dempsey makes a crawler
- "A crawler is like a nat that won't get out of your spleen juice."
- — When Dempsey makes a crawler
- "Dempsey makes stupid American crawlers!"
- — When Dempsey makes a crawler
- "No pie for you, Dempsey. NO PIE!"
- — When Dempsey makes a crawler
- "I hate the crawlers you make, Dempsey! I will kill them!"
- — When Dempsey makes a crawler
Miscellaneous[]
- "It's mine! MINE! I'LL CONTROL THEM ALL!"
- — After getting the Focusing Stone
- "You'll have to give that back to me when you're done using it!"
- — When someone else gets the Focusing Stone
- "That statue is so hot!"
- — After noticing the statue that looks like him
- "Oh, that's odd...Yeah. Yeah, there's something I need to go do real quick. Be right back!"
- — After noticing his signature on the Focusing Stone altar
- "I have earned un achievement!...(weakly) yay."
- — After getting an achievement
- "They keep hiding these songs in plain sight. WHY?"
- — After solving the musical easter egg