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The subject of this article appears in Call of Duty: Black Ops 4 The subject of this article appeared in Zombies mode

There are 5 audio reels, 6 film reels, 5 radios and 5 phonograph records in Tag der Toten.

Audio Reel #1

Pablo Marinus: "Day 521. I still don't know how it is possible, but late last year I awoke from a watery grave. When I swan to the surface, I found the German military base abandoned. Only the undead remained on their shores. I attempted to flee but that the fog it seemed no sooner that the shore faded behind it reappeared in front of me. Every attempt I made to escape it, it led me right back here; as if I was meant to be here. (sigh) I have begun broadcasting a radio signal. I'm hoping that someone will answer and come to my rescue, but if no one comes I'm not sure how much longer I would survive this place."

Audio Reel #2

Pablo Marinus: "Day 3682, I think. Last night, I had a dream. A dream I have not had in many years. Like the ones I used to have at Der Eisendrache. I dreamed I was in medieval times. During a Great War, a war to end all wars. In this dream, I'm attacked by one of the great beasts, it holds me within its grasp, about to end my life. But I am saved, spared by a man in cloth. Not by a priest, someone more powerful. He wields a staff of fire. I see four heroes stand atop of a mound before raise their staffs, in unison, and suddenly the knights know the war is not lost. I rejoin the fight, and fight alongside my king. For years, I have dreamed of this war. I wonder, perhaps the German's experiments warped my brain, my sense of space and time. He thought I died but it was only that my mind had transformed. I have been here 10 years. No one has responded to my radio message. Is there no one out there? Am I even on Earth? Or am I caught somewhere in between? Every time I try to escape, my raft always brings me back. This place is my prison. But is it a prison? Perhaps, it is more like a waiting room. A purgatory of sorts. Perhaps my dreams are much more. Perhaps they are visions. Of what is to come. And perhaps it is here I must wait for what is to come. They... will come for me."

Audio Reel #3

Pablo Marinus: "In my dreams of this Great War, I meet a German doctor. Oddly, he reminds me of the man who once tormented me, but his face is different. When I meet him, he is angry and frustrated. He mentions a man names Doctor Monty. Saying he is to blame. This German doctor, he says he believed following's Monty plan would lead them to secure a better tomorrow. "This was a lie", he says. This Doctor Monty, he sent the four to the Great War. It was at this moment, the German doctor said he realized the truth. Coming to the Great War did not break the cycle, it was merely the end of their loop. "We will die here," he says, "then we will be reborn again, and when it is time, we will meet once more, in Northern France continuing this never-ending loop". "I wonder," he says, "how many times have I been to the Great War? How many times have I perpetuated this endless cycle? I'm tired," he says, "I have been trying so very hard to do the right thing". But for all his efforts, he had only fulfilled the prophecy of the cycle. He and Doctor Monty had forged the endless loop."

Audio Reel #4

Pablo Marinus: "This Doctor, he tells me one more thing. He tells me he realizes that Doctor Monty is not inherently evil. "Doctor Monty", he says, "is just trying to save the multiverse the safest way he knows how. By forcing us into this cycle, our story will never end. Well also, his universe and his existence will be guaranteed". "I can't blame him", he says, "Doctor Monty is much just like you and me he just wants to survive. He doesn't want to risk his own annihilation." I tell him, well if we are doomed to meet here again and again until the end of existence, perhaps there is something we can do to change that. He looks at me, with a smile, and says "I think you are right, old friend"."

Audio Reel #5

Pablo Marinus: Day 4721. I think I understand. I know why I am here, why I'm trapped on this rock. Why I have these dreams, these visions. Why I must get to this Great War and what purpose I am to serve in this cataclysmic event of the ages. I am not being sent just to witness what happened, but it is I who helps the Doctor breaks his cycle! Near the end of the Great War when all hope is nearly lost I protect him while he activates a device, a teleportation mechanism. I hold back the undead as he powers it up, I give him the moment he needs to escape his fate. I ask him "Where would you go?", he says, "there is a prison I must travel to, hopefully I can intercept our friends before it is too late". Before he goes I give him the elemental gem from the Staff of Fire. I had seen it used to vanquish great evil. He once used it to save my life. Perhaps it would serve him well on his new path. This (chuckles)... This is why I am here. It is no coincidence I have also been left with the plans for the Agarthan Device, that is how I get to the Great War. I need some help but in my visions I have seen that I will have help soon. For now, I must bide my time, for my time is coming.

Film Reel #1

Edward Richtofen: "Log Entry 937. Date: May 15th, 1942. Dear diary, our men have safely returned from Africa where they recovered a number of artifacts buried underground. In some sort of subterranean cowboy village. Apparently it was American. That's right, an American cowboy western town buried underground... in Africa. Stupid American schwein with their apple pie, und their baseballs, as thinking they can just waltz into another country and claim it as theirs! There is no art to their work! (sigh) but I digress. The boys have returned with a number of fascinating articles and documents. They have pieces from a destroyed machine called the Pack-a-Punch. With a name as clever as that, it must be American. I have given the schematics to Doctor Porter. Perhaps he will have better luck replicating Jebediah Brown's work. Speaking of that blacksmith, they also recovered plans for the Agarthan Device. It seems that the blacksmith already built one of the pieces. The fabled "Vril Vessel". The Agarthan Device, a device capable of granting that which one desires. Almost like... a genie in a bottle. I think I shall keep this genie in my back pocket. If my plan fails, and it won't, perhaps this device can get me to Agartha."

Film Reel #2

Edward Richtofen: "Log Entry 1438. Date: July 18th, 1945. Dear diary, I have been in Group 935 Siberian facility for merely days and mein cup already runneth over with exciting news! First, yesterday I've learned that I would receive not one, not two but three test subjects! Aah, hopefully with proper 115 injections we will be able to use these specimens to access the human mind. The Chancellor's undead army is on standby until we crack this crucial step. Und secondly...

(A door is opened. Someone entered the room dragging another person)

Guard: Here he is, Richtofen.

ReporterGet your damned hands off me!

Richtofen: Now what do we have here? A spy?

Reporter: If you know what's good for you, you'd let me go!

Richtofen: Oh yes, ja, ja! I'm sure you work for someone incredibly important.

Reporter: Honestly, you have no idea.

Richtofen: How did you find mein secret facility? Who are you?

Reporter: I'm a reporter. I was hired by a man, Mr. Rapt, I never met him. He asked me to find some goods for. Things he wanted badly.

Richtofen: Sounds thrilling... And what was these goods he wanted so badly?

Reporter: (sigh) Look, I don't know the specifics, he just told me to travel to Russia. Gave me these coordinates, which led me here. How was I supposed to know it was a freaking German base?! Gave some vague description of a strange metal object.

(Richtofen picks up the Vril Vessel)

Richtofen: This, I assume?

Reporter: Yeah, that'd be it. Called it the "Seal of Duality", whatever the hell that means.

Richtofen: Well, the Vril Vessel is not for sale and is certainly not for stealing. But it is curious. I have only just arrived in this facility, bringing the Vril Vessel with me. Yet, you somehow knew it would be here. How is this possible?

Reporter: How the hell am I supposed to know? I just go where the Shadowman says to go. I don't know how he does it. Listen, if Mr. Rapt wants to find you he's got his ways. Look, you want to go ahead and get this over with, if you're gonna kill me, kill me. Not like it would matter. (chuckles) It's kind of funny, you know. Something Mr. Rapt said, that if I failed him and died, it'll be okay. He said he'd reach out to me all over the multiverse, whatever that means. I didn't pay it no mind then but maybe some other me is out there having a lot better luck than I have.

Guard: Sir, what should we do?

Richtofen: Take the strange sad little man away. Find a hole.

Film Reel #3

Edward Richtofen: Log Entry 1469. Date: August 28th 1945. Dear diary, progress continues on unlocking the human mind. If Germany hopes to continue their war, they need an undead army willing to obey orders. There's also been further interest in the Super Soldat Program, the German Chancellor considers this of high interest. We have begun the cloning process, we will have to see what results we'll yield. Test subject N3WB has been vomiting for two days straight. Our poor janitor, he has nightmares! Needless to say, we will no longer be serving fish. The Russian subject continues to be unresponsive. Doctor Yena suggested a serum made of vodka but considering mein concerns about his loyalty I wonder if this is perhaps another attempt at sabotage. The specimen from Mexico continues to rant incoherently about giant monsters und some uber fun war. Perhaps we were a little too eager with these 115 injections. I did not think he would go this crazy so quickly. (sigh) If I'm being honest, I'm beginning to find this work a little drab und boring. Undead army, Super Soldat programs (sigh) Group 935's deal with Germany has truly limited the organization's potential. The appearance of the spy last month has inspired me to review the blacksmith's schematics, the Agarthan Device and its three components: the Vril Vessel, the Apothicon blood und the Elemental Shard. The instructions to creating the Elemental Shard have my interest... piqued. Four human souls merged with Element 115, not that I'm trying to brag but this may be something in mein wheelhouse.

Film Reel #4

(Sounds of a heart rate monitor can be heard)

Edward Richtofen: Scalpel please, Doctor Yena.

Harvey Yena: Scalpel, Doctor Richtofen.

(Sounds of moving tissues)

Yena: What exactly are you looking for, Doctor Richtofen?

Richtofen: We are attempting to locate an appropriate stimuli that will trigger the brain's involuntary willingness to obey command. Ah, there we are. Forceps, Doctor Yena if you please.

Yena: Forceps, Doctor Richtofen. But the liver and kidneys? Or spleen?

Richtofen: Our goal is to unlock the barrier to the human mind. With Element 115, it is important that we explore every possibility. The barrier may be where we least expect it. There we are. Retractors, please.

Yena: Retractors. It seems the Chancellor has been pushing us harder these last days. Is this because of the spy that was discovered? At the asylum.

Richtofen: I do not know Doctor Yena. Our German leader, along with Doctor Maxis is so limited in his thinking. His goals are simple-minded, childish. He keeps pushing for his undead army when he could have the Elemental Shard.

Yena: The Elemental Shard?

Richtofen: A device capable of endless energy. We could use it to craft anything, including an Agarthan Device of immense power. Hold this open while I grab the injector.

Yena: Agarthan Device? Why haven't I heard about this?

Richtofen: Doctor Yena, do you have a firm grip? You are shaking.

Yena: I'm ready. Please, proceed.

Richtofen: Injecting serum in three, two, one.

(Sounds of an injection can be heard followed by a fast heartbeat)

Richtofen: Hold it open. The injection is nearly complete.

Yena: I can't... hold this... grip.

(The flat line sound from the heart rate monitor can be heard)

Richtofen: Well, I guess the barrier isn't in his spleen. Nincompoop you did this, I knew it! You let go on purpose!

Yena: Richtofen, it was an accident! My-my hand slipped!

Richtofen: Dummkopf!

Film Reel #5

Edward Richtofen: Oh well, the Russian subject recently began responding to stimuli but only after injecting him with a new serum made primarily from vodka. Perhaps this is a breakthrough in the expriment we have been waiting for. Perhaps I was too harsh on Doctor Yena. It was he after all who suggested the vodka serum. Credit where credit is due. Today also marks a great success for one of mein side projects. Using a processed rock of Element 115 und the Vril Vessel, I was able to successfully siphon a piece of the souls of our three specimens und inject them into the rock. Without access to our fouth individual, I used part of mein own essence. Much to mein surprise, the rock grew und transformed, creating a beautiful shard of glass made purely from Element 115... und parts from four human souls. The Vril Vessel, the Elemental Shard. All we need now is the Apothicon blood and the Agarthan Device shall be complete. End log entry 1474 or should I say 1-4-7-4, doesn't matter.

Film Reel #6

Edward Richtofen: You cannot do this. You have no authority!

Harvey Yena: You left me no choice, Doctor Richtofen. You used 935 resources to work on personal projects. You've been threatening the employees, myself included, and you're clearly suffering from excessive 115-induced delusions.

Richtofen: Suffering from excessive 115 induced delusions? How dare you accuse me of such, such, such-such vile lies!

Yena: Doctor Maxis has ordered the Elemental Shard to be sent to Division 9, where they are better equipped to study it appropriately. You are to cease experimentation on the test subjects and put them on ice. You are to return with them to Der Riese and meet with Doctor Maxis. He would like to discuss your... dedication to the cause.

Richtofen: Mein dedication? All of mein projects, mein programs, you think I'm not dedicated? You have taken everything from me. (Sigh) Well, I still have the DG-2 in active development. I suppose that's something.

Yena: Actually, no. I'm afraid Doctor Maxis has cancelled its mass production as well.

Richtofen: Scheisse! This... This is all your doing! You are intentionally sowing discontent! You are trying to destroy us from within! You... You're working for the Americans, aren't you? You are a spy, just like Doctor Peter McCain. Doctor Maxis would've never hired Americans, no matter how much genius they have!

Yena: No, Doctor Richtofen. That's your paranoia talking. You've been exposed to Element 115 for too long. I'm just a loyal servant to Group 935 trying to protect its interests. Now if you have any issues, I suggest bringing them up with Doctor Maxis.

Richtofen: Oh, oh, oh... don't you worry your little lying apple pie brain, herr Yena. I intend to bring up a great many things with Doctor Maxis.

Radio #1

Anton Gersh: We have verified authenticity of this transmission, yes?

Harvey Yena: Yes, Anton. A recon unit traveled to the old facility. Apparently, a survivor has been living there since the end of the war.

Gersh: Since the end of the war? Thirteen years? How can this be true? And how did we not know about this?

Yena: Unfortunately, your guess is as good as mine.

Gersh: And his proposal? This, uh, Agarthan Device, what do you make of this?

Yena: Personally, it sounds to good to be true, but this isn't the first I've heard of it. Doctor Richtofen had mentioned it as well.

Gersh: Just think, Harvey. A device capable of granting that which any man desire. I simply think it and (hits a table) bang! It is reality. We could beat Americans to Group 935 lunar facility, we could become leader of free world overnight!

Yena: The potential is certainly infinite.

Gersh: So he says he would construct device but first he needs... he needs us to find something.

Yena: He says we must bring him the blood of an ancient creature. He gave us the coordinates. It's at the bottom of the ocean. Recovery will not be cheap.

Gersh: Well, you do not need the creature. Only its blood. Harvey, do not worry. The reward will pay cost tenfold. This is how the Ascension Group leads charge into new world.

Yena: I understand, but there was one more thing. He warned us to bring him the blood straightaway. When exposed to the elements for extended amounts of time, it becomes volatile and unstable. He warned us the blood is alive.

Gersh: Let us worry about collecting it first. We will decide next move after this, Doctor Yena.

Yena: Of course, Doctor Gersh.

Radio #2

Anton Gersh: I trust your trip was success?

Harvey Yena: Like you wouldn't believe, Anton. What we found down there. The creature was magnificent, gargantuan in size. It was... otherworldly. A remnant of a different age. Oh, I wish you could have seen it.

Gersh: It was at the coordinates provided?

Yena: Yes. 43 North, 180 East. The blood has a... fluidity to it that I find fascinating. We would have investigated further but we intercepted a transmission that the Americans were in the area. Somehow they'd been informed about the creature's location.

Gersh: Ah... these damn leaks! They will be our undoing.

Yena: It seems every step we take, the Americans follow suit.

Gersh: Mark my words, there is a mole in Ascension, Harvey. We must strike it out before it destroys us. Get a team together, people we trust. If we are to study the blood we must make sure the Americans do not find out.

Yena: Just study it? Anton, I think we should follow the plan and deliver the blood to the Siberian facility.

Gersh: Nyet, Harvey. We cannot. This struggle with the Americans, we cannot let them get the advantage. This blood is our only leverage. After the war and Group 935 disbanded, you came to us. You came to me. You saw a better vision for the future here than what your America was offering. We created Ascension on the principle of being better men. Of making this world a better place. If this blood is key to unlocking the future, we would be fools to not take this opportunity.

Yena: Perhaps you are right. At the very least we can study it. What's the harm in that?

Radio #3

Anton Gersh: How are the experiments coming, Doctor Yena?

Harvey Yena: Fascinating, Anton, truly fascinating. The blood is not so much fluid as it is very much alive. It moves, it changes shape at will, reacts to our touch.

Gersh: Alive? How is this possible?

Yena: I'm not sure. One theory is perhaps the creature itself was more of a vessel and that its blood is made up of million different organisms that control it. Like a crew piloting a ship, the creature died but the organisms inside survived, trapped at the bottom of the ocean.

Gersh: Is it sentient? How is it able to move?

Yena: The blood uses negative space which exists between the molecules. This negative space provides an influx of energy. Which we believe fuels the blood, giving it the ability to move.

Gersh: Do you still believe that this blood is suitable for our primates? For rocket testing?

Yena: Absolutely. The blood gives them rejuvenation abilities, making them more powerful, stronger. If a monkey is on the brink of death and given an injection, it makes a full recovery in a matter of minutes. The only trade-off is they become more angry, hostile, even violent in some cases.

Gersh: Is this a problem?

Yena: It's manageable. But I'm confident monkeys given an injection of this blood will survive space flight.

Gersh: Wonderful news. I think we can move on to the next phase of the program. You should prepare a serum for mass production. Can you tell me more about this negative space?

Yena: We really don't know much about this except that it does not exist in this dimension. Maybe a gateway from another. One of our men has theorized that it might even be a black hole of sorts.

Gersh: Send what research you've done to myself and our weapons team. Be sure Yuri Zavoyski is included in the brief.

Yena: Of course, but I will remind you we need to be careful. We've noticed the blood has been changing composition as if reacting to all our probing and prodding.

Gersh: Reacting? How so?

Yena: I'm not sure how to explain it, but it feels like the blood's getting... angry.

Radio #4

(People are shouting followed by Harvey Yena repeatedly hitting a board)

Harvey Yena: Comrades, that is enough! Now as it stands we must account for the facts. Two days ago, one of our research facilities was attacked. All personnel are dead, with the exception of Doctor Gersh and Doctor Zavoyski, who are both still missing.

Scientist: What about four intruders?

Yena: We do not know. They have not been recovered. Now, I know what Doctor Gersh and his work meant to this organization. However, all is not lost. We must remember that.

Scientist: All is not lost? We have no leader! Who is going to lead us now? You? an American? (scoffs) Nyet.

(people laugh)

Yena: I'd remind you to think before you speak, comrade. I am one of the founding members of this organization, and you are someone who has forgotten their place in it! I am not saying I should lead it, likely I would rather not, I would leave it to the Committee to find a suitable replacement. However, with Americans, Broken Arrow grows stronger by the day and we must act quickly if we are to stay ahead of them.

Scientist: What is it you are proposing?

Yena: Some of you may remember four years ago, a contact at an abandoned Group 935 facility reached out to us. He promised to construct the Agarthan Device for us. Provided we brought him the blood of the beast. We never brought him the blood, instead we used it to fulfill our own needs. I propose I take a small crew and deliver the blood as promised to our ally in Siberia. With the Agarthan Device in Soviet hands, we will not only end this Cold War overnight, we will bring humanity together to create a better world.

Radio #5

Harvey Yena: This is Doctor Harvey Yena, it's the 1st of January 1964. Happy new year. We are 15 minutes out from the abandoned Group 935 Siberian facility where I will deliver the blood as promised for the creation of the Agarthan Device. After I have secured it, I have arranged for rendezvous with my handler, who will take me back to American soil. (sigh) It's been nearly 20 years. I can hardly remember my former life. After Group 935 disbanded, I had a choice. Come home, or turn to the Soviets and bury myself in the heart of their organization. I chose the latter. When again would America get such an opportunity? But there was a moment back in '45 right after McCain was discovered where I thought Doctor Richtofen had discovered the truth, that I was a spy. (chuckles) He-he was right, of course. But It turned out Doctor Richtofen had his own problems with Group 935. It's time go back home. Darn it if I'm not excited to eat a hot apple pie and catch a game of baseball!

(Sirens sound)

Yena: What the...

(Someone is running)

Sailor: Sir, it's broken containment!

Yena: What on Earth is going on?

Sailor: The blood, it broke containment. It started attacking the guards.

(Sounds of explosion)

Yena: Follow me, we need to move, now!

(Zombies start to overrun the ship)

Sailor: Sir, no!!

Record #1

Jebediah Brown: The day is the 14th of April, the year of our Lord, 1885. A day I will hold dear until my last. (sigh) I have done and spent 30 years of my life in Purgatory Point. My Ma' brought me out here when I was but 10 years young. She hoped to give us a chance at a new life. They're good folk here at Purgatory Point. And sure, sometimes they get a little rowdy and maybe we stray too far from heaven's gaze up there. What do you expect from a frontier mining town? Something happened to one of the miners. Clive Farnsworth, a good man, came by the shop a few times. Anyway, he went down into that mine, stayed down there for 10 days. When he came back up, he was... changed. They say he was like a feral animal, rabid and carnivorous. His mind was gone, his flesh all sallow and bloody, his eyes are blazin' a red light! First home he stumbled upon was me and Ma's. I was at the shop at the time. Ma' went out to meet him, and Clive he... Doc' said it happened quick. Clive jumped on her, ripped her throat. Ol' Bill ran over, put two through Clive's skull. Shot him dead, like a dog. And Ma'... she's been laid to rest now. She'll rise up to Heaven. And bless her soul, she'll be greeted with open arms. That mine. They've been digging for that blue rock. Some folks say you stare too long you'll find the devil in it. I need answers, I need to understand what happened. I'll head down to that mine tomorrow.

Record #2

Jebediah Brown: The day is the 19th of April, the year of our Lord, 1885. Somehow, I don't know how it's possible. Last I recall I was headed into the mine, I swear I was only down there for a few hours. When I come back up, townsfolk say I've been missing for 5 days. Then there was last night, when I slept I had a vision. Two angels came down to me from Heaven. They told me I needed to be ready, to prepare for what was coming. What was coming, they would not tell me. But how to prepare, "build a machine" they said. "A machine that would grant you great power". This machine was complex requiring craftsmanship and mechanical skill I did not have. I told them such, but they said not to worry. They would guide my hands. The way they described it, sounded like an oven or a kiln. You stick your rifle inside, and when it come back out, (chuckles) let's just say that rifle will pack a serious punch.

Record #3

Jebediah Brown: Today is the 30th of June, the year of our Lord, 1885. My invention is the talk of the town. People been coming from far and wide, eager for a chance to upgrade their firearms. Revolver, rifle, the machine don't care it'll pack 'em all. I pray every night thanking the Heavens for sending the two angels, I couldn't have done this without their guiding hand. They returned to me last night. They told me there was another machine they wished me to build. They called it the Agarthan Device. Said it had the power to grant that which one truly desires. I told them I was their servant. Show me the path, and I will walk. They said I needed 3 things. The blood of an elder god, an Elemental Shard, and a metallic vessel to harness and carry both. To find the blood, they instructed me to travel to the bottom of the ocean. I told them this I could not do, for I would perish. To craft an Elemental Shard, they instructed me to forge four souls with a blue rock from our mine. I told them this I could not do for I did not have the means to siphon a human soul to an element. But a metal vessel, well, I am a blacksmith. That? That I think I could manage.

Record #4

Jebediah Brown: Today is the 21st of July, the year of our Lord, 1885. I have, uh, a confession. I am burdened with sin. I fear I am the architect of my own damnation. This town... this town is cursed. The Devil himself has possessed our people, folks had been acting all kinds of crazy. Paranoia, visions, seeing thing that ain't there. And the violence. Seven dead in the last 5 days. Sheriff don't know what's gotten into these people, but I know. It's that damned mine! Them blue rocks! Doc' believes them to be meteors from the sky, from up in the stars. Maybe from Heaven. But whatever the cause, I fear the disease that consumes this town has gotten to me as well. Last night, I felt overcome with loss and grief. I went to see Ma' in the cemetery. Maybe it was the whiskey, maybe it was delirium I can't say what... I, uh, dug her up, and , uh, took her into town. I took her to my shop where I kept the machine. I, uh, I don't know what came over me, like something took control of my body, like a puppet on strings. I put her in the machine. I don't know why, may-maybe, maybe it would bring her back to me. But she vanished. Nothing came back out. I stumbled home in a daze, but as I arrived, I see before my eyes... I see an apparition, a spirit. It looks just like her. Only when she was younger. She floats around the house now. I catch her playing the piano. The angels, the angels, they came back to me again. I've built the metal carriage just as they asked. Only one thing left to do now, upgrade it with my machine.

Record #5

Jebediah Brown: Today is the 22nd of July, the year of our Lord, 1885. We are truly lost, this town, these people. We are being punished by Heaven for our transgression and now must suffer the righteous hand of retribution. I did as they asked, I put the metal vessel in the Pack-a-Punch machine, just as instructed. Next thing I know, all the energy, all the power of the world get sucked out of the air as if pulled inside the machine! Next thing, the world went white. I came too and I see that I, my shop, all the people, the whole damn town has been transported as if willed by the Lord into this cavern, buried below the surface of the Earth! I fear we are at the threshold of Hell, the world just waitin' to open below our feet! We've been overrun by the Devil's army! The dead have risen and now do us in battle! My name is Jebediah Brown and I bow humbly before the tow angels and ask for forgiveness. Show us the path to salvation! We are listening!

(Sounds of woods cracking)

Jebediah Brown: Hello?

(Zombies enter the room)